EVERYONE please read the author's note below. Thank you!

In matter of two weeks, the news about the scandal was all over the papers and nine o’clock news bulletins. Press people were swarming outside the court whenever I stepped outside after each trial, and certain who had located either my office or Woohyun’s house would loom about the front door for long hours, their note pads in hands and suits disheveled as though they had no better things to do with their lives. I was in a worse mood than usual, and returning home in late hours after all the questioning sessions, legal discussions and trials, I felt as though I had no life. It took the case almost a month to end, the court trials being pushed back on and on; and finally my part in the case was over with Howon proved guilty of accepting bribery and for concoction of fake documentation. The verdict was given on one late Monday afternoon, and he was given an appeal a week later with one million won as compensation. The case wasn’t closed however, since the case was of larger scale than I had expected it. It was, for me, nonetheless, and I finally found my time of comfort in the confines of Woohyun’s extra bedroom and my lonely office room with no work in hand.

The chaos weren’t entirely closed down as I began to receive relentless phone calls from Harvey and Kim and having being sent representatives, promising to offer my job back. I wasn’t taking it of course, even though they were giving a rather favorable offer of a partnership. Woohyun and I did our best to fend them off, and in the end Woohyun threatened to file a case against their pestering, which successfully shut them out.

Three days later, I received a call from Bae Kim and Lee.

The last I heard from Kim Sung Gyu was the last time I saw him at Woohyun’s house, which was just about a month ago, the same day I confessed everything to my brother. Although I thought these odd feelings I had for him would fade away once I had cut him off the radar for once and for all, it didn’t really happen as I had planned. Instead, the feelings began to grow and nurture by the days which passed, and I was growing to have this desperate longing to see his face, feel his warmth and hear his voice again which started to kill me inside. I grew this habit of glancing at my phone every now and then, expecting for him to call me, and every day when I’d lock up the office to go home, I’d idle around on the sidewalk and in the lawn, anticipating him to randomly pass by. I had considered myriad times to actually go to BKL myself and see him, or to his house, if I had to. But thankfully, my pride was stopping me, and in matter of days I slowly began to accept the fact that it was indeed a one-time thing that we had and that I had to move on. Sung Gyu was a married man, and no matter what happened, his heart would always belong to her whom he loved, although she had gone away from him (to live with Howon in the condominium which I had assumed he had sold away but he hadn’t.)

Thus, on that day, when I received a call from BKL, my stomach began to do somersaults. I was stammering into the phone, my heart beat going wild as though I was a fifteen year old girl harboring a petty crush on a boy. It was from the recruitments department, the same department of which Kim Sung Gyu was the head.

“This is the from the recruitments department of Bae Kim and Lee, is this…Miss Jung Eunji?”

I recognized the smooth, youthful voice in a heartbeat. It was the handsome young recruiter from the other day, Kim Myung Soo.

“Ah, yes…Myung Soo-ssi, isn’t it?” I said, nervously skipping through a folder of empty sheets.

“Yes. This is regarding a job position available at Bae Kim and Lee at the moment, Eunji-Ssi, in the department of corporate. This is the field you previously worked in, is it not?”

“Y-yes?” I replied, feeling slightly giddy, which was odd.

“Well, we at Bae Kim and Lee heard about the unfortunate events which you had to encounter during your previous work experience and we promise to offer you an attorney-ship at our legal firm, which, though I say it myself, serve each and every employee with equality and justice. Every member of the firm is important, and must receive what they deserve. We reassure you, with much confidence that you will receive a remarkable experience in your bestowed legal career” a pause and I took a quick glance at the clock above. It was two in the afternoon. “Would you like to set up an appointment to discuss this matter, Miss Jung?”

I stole time to ponder upon it, and realized that I didn’t even have to think. The truth was, I was happy and satisfied with where I was. The last few weeks were hell for me, and I had begun to realize that what which really served me justice was making the right choices for myself which I wouldn’t later regret. Of course, BKL was a prestigious firm, and if I was fortunate to land a profession there, it was once in a life time opportunity. BKL offered jobs only to whom they believed were the best, I suppose, with much background research. I was only proved of my innocence just a few days ago, and that only served as a good enough a reason for them to consider hiring me, it was indeed something I should be happy about, and perhaps it was an opportunity I should just jump into, without further doubts. But I knew where I stood, where I belonged, and definitely wasn’t as an associate at another prestigious firm, but only as myself.

And then there was also the matter of moving on from certain people I had thought I would love.

“Well, no, I’m afraid not” I answered in the end, to Myung Soo who patiently awaited my response. “I’m not interested. Thank you for your concern, nonetheless, and I hope you would find suitable candidates for the position?”

Myung Soo hesitated on the other end. “W-well…we can give you time to consider your options? If it isn’t corporate you’re willing to work in, we also have vacancies in finance and public law departments…we can set up a meeting and discuss these choices, Miss Jung” He trailed away, and as though for good measure he quickly added. “We believe you are one remarkable personnel in the legal arena. It would be an honor to have you here…”

I smiled at the flattering, which sounded rather ridiculous and responded; “I’m content with where I am now, Myung Soo-ssi, I am not planning to work for a large-scale firm again. But thank you for all your concern and also motivating words…”

“…And if you happen to change your mind…?” Myung Soo said, and I merely rolled my eyes before responding; “If that happens, I will definitely let you know, okay?”

Myung Soo agreed, and he vehemently made me take down his number in case I would change my mind about it, which I wouldn’t. Then I proceeded to give my farewells and cut off the line, when it suddenly occurred to me, and I soon raised my phone, feeling hopeful.

“Say, Myung Soo-ssi” I began, feeling slightly giddy. “This job offer…did you do it under someone’s supervision? Like a higher-up?” I hesitated and in the end I added, “…like the department head?”

“No, Miss Jung” He responded, and quickly changed his mind. “I mean, yes…but it was after thorough discussions between the higher ups of the firm. But don’t worry, every detail was kept discreet”

“Was…anyone by the name...?” I swallowed “…Kim Sung Gyu involved?”

“He’s the head of the department” Myung Soo said in a professional manner. “But I cannot tell…I was not informed…”

“Ah, right” I nodded, feeling the knot forming in my throat. “Thank you, then”

When I put the phone down, I felt a new sense of accomplishment which I never felt ever since the scandal broke out. Despite the fact that Myung Soo refused to reveal if Sung gyu was or was not involved in the new revelation, I could feel that he was somewhat responsible for it as was with the revealing of the predicament. Thus, although Sung gyu really hadn’t come around to contact me again for one whole month, I felt closer to him than before, as though he had really done something for me this time around.

That afternoon, I locked up the office and left early because I had a meeting with my land lady. A few days back, I saw the Patels leaving the premises lagging a several massive baggage along with them, loaded everything into a taxi and drove away, to never return. I had thought they were out on a vacation or sightseeing or something that I didn’t care enough to look deeper into it, but later on when they didn’t return at all, Sung Jong and I discussed about it and assumed that they might have ended their research holiday and left, which they might as well would. Not that we actually cared either. In fact, I was somewhat relieved that Sung Jong and I didn’t have to see their scowling faces every morning again. Nonetheless, earlier today, after Myung Soo’s brief telephone interaction, I received a call from the land lady, asking me if I could spare a few minutes to talk to her. I was perplexed at first, and then I assumed it was probably about my face going all over the newspapers so I agreed to meet her up over at her house that afternoon.

The land lady’s house was situated a few minutes away from the office building itself. The house was built in the same pattern as of the office, which was quite odd, unimportant nevertheless. Upon my arrival, the land lady led me to her kitchen with an exhausted expression and offered me a warm mug of coffee. She sat down before me herself, her weary expression not changing once, and said that she and the Patels had a court case regarding them having an overdue of three months of rent and will I be able to defend her since her family lawyer was out in Japan completing his master’s degree or something?

I took a sip of my coffee, regarded my hands for a second and told her that it exactly wasn’t my expertise. I didn’t see the need of going deeper into elucidating terms and meaning or anything to her and explain what made my legal career differ from that of her family lawyer. I merely said that I couldn’t and asked if I she had anything else to tell me. She heaved a long sigh then, her old age so evident in her crinkled eyes and said; “Ah well, my husband and I decided to increase your rent…You see, if the Patels leave, until we find another tenant, we will be short of the rent fee we receive from that house. Besides, our daughter is getting married soon. We need to prepare and-”

“That wouldn’t be a problem” I replied quite impatiently though it was quite a problem for me, given that I wasn’t exactly employed either.

The land lady heaved a sigh. “That’s a great relief”

After a moment, I asked conversationally. “So, what happens to the house?”

The lady shrugged, her annoyance towards the previous tenants evident in her eyes. “It’s out to be rented again. The contract is nullified, at least that’s what my husband says…whatever happens with the court case. Ah…I hate these legal stuff. How do you lawyers even deal with them!?!”

“It’s pretty hard as it is” I sighed and took a few seconds to ponder things. In fact, I’ve been thinking of moving out of Woohyun’s soon since I had kept them from going on their honeymoon trip for one entire month. I didn’t find it comfortable living with them either, no matter how much both of them tried to make my stay worthwhile. Besides, I figured I wanted to live by myself for a while to get my life straightened up before moving ahead with it. The house above the office up for rent suddenly seemed like a perfect opportunity for me.

“Say” I began after considering it for long. “What if I rent out the upstairs house as well?”

The land lady watched me, her head tilted as though I was talking gibberish, and suddenly came to. “Well, it is up for rent so…”

“Then, if I rented it myself, that wouldn’t be a problem right?”

A shine appeared in her tiny exhausted eyes and she clamped her hands together as though I had just announced her the most remarkable news of all. “Not at all! In fact, if you’re renting out the whole building…I mean, it is the whole building; basically…what am I saying! My husband and I will decrease the rent a bit for the both of them!” She gave me one of her satisfied smiles. “Does it sound plausible to you?”

“Very much so” I smiled and took a sip of warm coffee.

And that was how I finally moved out, under Woohyun’s reluctant permission, to live on my own.

*

Another two weeks passed and my face appeared less and less in the papers and the news. I slowly began to ease into my new life. I had moved out from Woohyun’s place a week ago, and three days prior to now, Woohyun and Chorong unnie finally fled to Thailand on their honeymoon, which they might as well, at least now. I found my comfort in my new-found solidarity, and since Sung Jong and I hardly got any cases, we spent half the day, idly going through papers and surfing the net and left on our respective ways; him to him house, and me up the stairs.

The new apartment was half the size of the condo Howon and I used to share, but it was cozy and desirable. It had two bedrooms, an attached bathroom with a shower stall, a narrow kitchenette and a living room big enough to only fit in the sofa set and the plasma screen TV. The balcony was overlooking the front lawn and the street, and it extended all the way from the living room to the master bedroom with two pairs of French windows leading out from each of them. I often found myself standing outside, leaning against the railing, waiting for a particular black vehicle to pass by, and when it didn’t, I’d merely return inside and have a smoke.

In the beginning it was quite difficult to get used to the solidarity. It was different from living in the office confines. At least, back then, I had problems to deal with, things to ponder on and worry about. But now I felt irrationally empty and alone, as though I was secluded from every living being on earth. I hadn’t much to do, except flicking through channels on the TV, reading an occasional book and strolling to and fro on the street, and much often than not, I’d find myself visiting the park a few feet away from the building, the very park I visited sometime back with certain someone, sit on the same stone bench, watching the house in hopes I would see that familiar face. If not, I would just walk all over the city, take a taxi to Gangnam city, almost walk into the building with my phone clutched in my hand, but end up making a detour back to the house and then drown myself in the perks of being a loner.

When I couldn’t put up with being lonely anymore, I went ahead and bought myself a pet. Woohyun had been telling me this for a while, to get myself a pet to care for so that I wouldn’t feel alone anymore, so that I would have some sort of company, and he initially suggested I get myself a cat or a dog. But the thing with cats or dogs and my apartment was that it was situated in the middle of the city and on the top story at that, and I wasn’t really fond of cleaning litter trays and going around searching for missing pets in the crack of the dawn. The idea didn’t come to me as remotely plausible. Thus, in the end I decided to get myself a gold fish in a bowl, which was much similar to the koi fish I had back then in my bedroom wall, and named him ‘kitten’ for good measure. But I wasn’t sure if it helped me much with my loneliness. Although it didn’t speak or play or, basically didn’t do much except for swimming around the bowl, it was there, it was an existing, living, breathing being, and it was enough of company for me for the time being.

Likewise, days and weeks passed, nothing significant happening in my life, until one day, on which Sung Jong left the building with a casual wave of hand, only to return, sporting a rather unimpressed expression.

It was late in the evening at that time, and we, thankfully, got ourselves a case earlier that day, about some money laundering in a private institution. We worked on it together until late and I had only let my partner off when he, like said, returned.

I put away the file I had in hand and looked up with concern.

“Why, Sung Jong?”

Sung Jong huffed rather dramatically. “Did you plan an appointment tonight?”

I frowned. “Tonight? Nope, I didn’t”

“Well” Sung Jong said, parting his soft bleached hair to a side with his slender fingers. “There’s someone waiting outside…”

“Oh” I said and gave a non-committal shrug. Since the building was on the side of the road, we often got unknown visitors coming for shelter from the rain or for some insignificant matter or the other. Generally, it was my job to fend them away while Sung Jong would find his comfort in huffing and making dramatic explanations using the word ‘’ about ten times in each sentence.

“I’d take care of it” I said to Sung Jong and leaned across the table to reach my jacket. “You go on your way”

“Yeah, sure” Sung Jong said without much care, and soon he fled out the door. I placed the sheets inside the folder in order and stuck the sticky note which had the number of our newly contacted tech-person onto the opened laptop computer. Then I put everything which was scattered about the table in proper order and shrugged into my jacket. In fact, I didn’t understand it myself why I stuck to wearing a coat when the building was my house itself, although I had to move outside to locate the stairwell to the apartment which wasn’t much a walk either. I wore a jacket nonetheless. Perhaps it was a habit I couldn’t change.

Afterwards I washed up all the used coffee mugs, cleaned the kitchenette, wiped the tables and turned down the lights in the rooms and the hallway. The visitor could wait until I was done if he or she was here by necessity, there weren’t many people that I knew of who would be willing to meet me either way; therefore I couldn’t care less. After I had done all that needs to be done, I stepped out, locked the front door and I had almost turned around to face the stranger when a familiar voice was carried with the breeze, along with the strong stench of cigarettes, through it, a familiar scent, the scent I had been longing for, for two whole months.

“You know…” He was saying, and in the dark, I could see the bright cherry light of the cigar moving about, and the silhouette of him, leaning against a wall with a foot propped up against it. “Sometimes, some relations just don’t end when they are crushed…” The ember of the cigarette disappeared suddenly, and I could hear a soft hiss before the ember appeared again, which had died but still burnt slightly, the cigar still lying in his palm, intact. “…They stay…”

Although I felt thousand flowers blooming inside me, although I felt my heart leaping and straining to rush towards him, embrace him and engulf myself in the arms of the man I loved, I knew better of myself to not to do so. He and I had parted badly, and we haven’t spoken a word since then. I didn’t find a trace of his existence, except for the spontaneous phone call from his firm, and I had looked high and low, in hopes I would find a dingle, slightest fragment of the times we had lost, the times we had. And after all this time, after all I had to go through without him after he wordlessly left, leaving me to rot in the dark, he had returned to lean on my wall and smoke cigarettes and to babble crap about relationships. I didn’t know what to feel about it, whether to feel happy, angry or surprised. But naturally, as well I myself would be, I was angry, and it overpowered all the blooming emotions inside. I no longer wanted to huddle in the comfort of his warmth, but I had this raging urge to stomp over and punch square on his face.

But instead of doing either of them, trying to keep my anger within my clenched fist, I said, “What are you doing here?”

Even through the dark, I could see the outline of his impeccable figure, his eyes, his soft gaze bearing into mine. “I came back”

“Well, you’re not supposed to.” I retorted, spited embed in my voice and took a nervous step towards him. “You’re supposed to be gone, never come back, leave me with not a trace of you” Despite my expression, I felt all giddy and mushy inside, as though I were a twelve year old confronting her crush, which I really hope wouldn’t show.

Sung Gyu sighed in response and stuffed the remainder of his cigarette into his pocket. Then he said. “The divorce took longer than I expected Eunji…”

He sounded all genuine and sincere when he said that, and there was no doubt that the tone of his voice definitely enunciated his solemn thoughts. And this, somehow, made me feel lighter, and somewhat contented. And I didn’t feel maddened by it anymore, as would I have felt two months ago. It was as though I had accepted the truth as much as he had, that things never go as we expect them to, but god had a predestined plan for all of us.

And then it occurred to me, perhaps, this was my predestined plan. Not Hown, not the prestigious position at a respected firm, but a place of my own and him, Kim Sung Gyu.

When a slight smile appeared on Sung gyu’s lips, I realized that I needed to heep head-strong and not waver by the sheer brilliance of his very presence. Even in the dark, Sung Gyu seemed to shine, but it wasn’t yet the moment to let the guards down though I wanted to do nothing but lurch into his waiting arms. I needed to keep myself composed, and retaliate for him leaving out cold for two whole months.

“It’s been two months, Sung gyu” I said, and took another step towards him. “Two. ing. Months”

“I know…” Sung Gyu nodded, his eyes not leaving mine. “But I’m sorry-not-sorry. I wanted to come to you sooner, but the divorce held me back”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, trying to seem nonchalant, although him merely mentioning the divorce made my feet feel lifeless. “Well, do I look like I care?”

He raised his brows challengingly. “No you don’t look like you care, Eunji, but underneath you definitely do.”

I was silent for a moment, knowing that what he said was indeed the truth and searched for another point to fight back with when he placed his foot down and regarded me as though I was a glorious work of art. I found one, nonetheless, thus I said; “You called me pathetic…and al the many cruel things. You-you betrayed me! You told everything to Woohyun! And-and then you just left me for two bloody months! You just simply disappeared! Like-!” I demonstrated with my hands “-Like Boom! You wiped off the face of the earth and then suddenly you’re here!”

He looked at me for a moment and gave me that smile, that smile which could easily win over all the beautiful things in the world, which made my heart stop and my mind go hazy and wild, which for me was everything. I wanted to stop this pretense right then and there and lunge into him, but I held on because my pride wouldn’t budge.

“And..?” He said, and I wanted to explode. But instead, I huffed and said in a lower voice. “Well, after all you’ve done, if you’re not here to apologize, then leave, go away, disappear like you did once-,”

“I’m sorry” He blurted out and made a quick step towards me. His sweetest breezy scent was making my head pound, and my heart, so wild, ferocious wasn’t letting me breath. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, but it was then that I noticed his mischievous smile. “I’m sorry to break your bubble but I’m not here to apologize”

I was silenced for a moment, baffled and annoyed. Instantly, my anger raise before I could stop myself.

“Then go!” I yelled, placed my palms on his chest, his plain white T-shirt crinkling underneath and gently pushed him away. “Leave! Never come back!”

“Eunji…” He muttered but I wasn’t stopping there. For some reason I felt immensely embarrassed. Waiting for someone, expecting for something to happen or for someone to come by had never been in my book before. It suddenly felt it odd and disconcerting to admit it myself that I had expected him to return, all of a sudden. I felt so ashamed that I didn’t feel troubled by it before, so I relentlessly pushed on as though it would actually change anything. “Why come back? Why? Disappear off the ing face of the earth!”

Sung gyu merely chuckled in response, and when I raised my head, I realized that, after all the pushing, I had actually cornered him to the wall. My heartbeat began to rise, and heat raised to my cheeks. Suddenly, I was right before him, inches apart, my hands placed over his wildly beating heart, and the scent of his, I was inhaling like it was my last breath. I couldn’t dare look at him, afraid I would completely lose myself in the brilliance of his eyes. I wanted to move away, hide somewhere and never return, but just when I tried to pull myself away from him, Sung Gyu moved faster and his hand grasped tightly onto my wrists. I tried to fight back, prying my hands away from his relentless grasp but then, before I could even prepare myself for the collision, he leaned down and caught my parted lips into a blissful kiss.

In the beginning, I was baffled and deflected unable to grasp what exactly was happening at that precise point of time. Perhaps it was the sweetness of his scent, perhaps it was the softness of his lips or the warmth of his breath slowly pressing on my skin. Or perhaps it was the clarity of the situation itself, or perhaps it was the fact that I wanted it, that I had waited it to happen for two whole months. Nonetheless, it took me too long to realize the unified fact of being kissed so that I would effortlessly give in. Thus, when I did, I began to fight against my restrains even more.

For minutes, it wasn’t a simple kiss so much as a battle of pulls and pushes. My wrists, held tightly in the grasp of his slender but strong fist and pressed against his chest which raised and fell along his breath, pushed harder against him and my lips parted and pulled away every second he would pause to catch a breath. He, finding strength in my tussle would fight back, relentless, his mouth always finding me, always and his hand pulling me hard against the warmth of his grasp as though it was my rightful place to be in, to be embraced. At one point when he had pulled away for a breath, I pulled back completely, finally being able to pry off his grasp and escape his detain when suddenly he dipped in. His teeth caught my lower lip gentle but intense and haughtily he pulled me into his arms. I limped for a moment, pulling it off as a bait, at which point he let his mouth slip away from mine and allowed it to simply hover above me, a smile gracing his lips. Retaliating to his previous attack, I pushed in, my restrained hand pressed hard against his chest that I was certain it hurt and quickly caught his lip between my teeth, and I bit hard. I didn’t know how this ferocity came to me, how this battle would end even, or if he and I actually enjoyed it. Nonetheless, Sung Gyu found this the opportunity to sneakily slip his tongue past my teeth, my upper lip sensually, and I lost it, at this point, just like that.

In a matter of seconds, allowing his mouth to explore mine in a depth and intensity that I had never encountered before, I slowly gave in. I melted into the kiss, his touches and into his warmth, as though I had finally found the rightful place where I fell into and perfectly fit, like a lost piece of a puzzle which had hopelessly floated about without knowing where to land. Sung Gyu felt this, instinctively, and as I began to respond to him, gently but surely, he smiled into my lips and let both his hands to secure around me. One remained on my back, the other tangled up in the hair behind my head, and I too, allowed my hands to slide past the curves of his shoulders and around his neck, fingers pushing through his hair and their tips pressing onto his scalp. We were pulled closer together this way like never before, and we kissed like it was the only thing we want to be doing for the rest of our lives. At some point he parted, only for a second, only to whisper with a brilliant glimmer in his eyes, “That’s my girl”

Once we were done and parted to catch our breath, our lips were swollen and his eyes were glimmering like thousand stars. His warm breath collided with mine and his heart, pressed against my chest, was beating so hard that it almost caught up with the pace of mine. He stepped away then, and I let my hands to fall to his waist while his followed the same. Then the one hand which cradled my head came in between us, the thumb of which running along the curve of my lips, pressed onto the corner of them, and he smiled.

“I did tell you…” he breathed out, his voice hoarse and merely a whisper but clear. “That I am never taking them back, Eunji I’m not sorry that I called you stubborn, pathetic or difficult, because that is precisely what you are.”

I frowned, moving to step away from me, but he caught me off guard by bringing his hand to push back my hair and let it slide across my shoulder and saying, “You’re a monster, you really are. But if everything else about you fail to do so, which they, to be honest, don’t; that itself makes me go ing crazy for you”

“W-what?” I gasped, surprised though it really shouldn’t. Sung Gyu gave me that smile of his, the smile which ran me crazy and merely shook his head. “What I don’t get is, you, the queen of deduction, who could look through a person with one single glance and recite their entire life backwards, couldn’t figure it out that I had fallen in love with you…”

I gaped at him incredulously, he gaped back, and then when I could finally find my voice I whispered. “H-how could I…?” And then I trailed off, realizing that he had successfully rendered me speechless and that I didn’t know what I should say.

“I am…Eunji” He said, beating it to me. “Although you wouldn’t believe me right away, which you don’t have to, and I don’t expect you to…” He was stumbling on his words, but I listened closely because he was telling me things, as he unmistakably would, all the right things, the things that only he would say. “I fell in love with your cruel erratic, nonsensical, foolish ways…not only because they made you special but also because everything about you made you so ing desirable…You, Eunji are a rare flower to pick. Unless one finds the true beauty in you, which I guess I have, nobody else can have you. You’re difficult, you’re cruel, but you’re soft, gentle and beautiful underneath it all.” His hand reached my face then, cupped my cheek and tilted his head, the sparkle in his eyes glimmering vigorously under the stars, as though he was in tears. The warm hand on my face cradled me, and subconsciously I leaned into it, I searched for his affection as though it was all mine. With a soft smile gracing his lips, he went on.

“Although you’re driven by your pride, although you’re obsessed with keeping things right, I would still love you, for your flaws, imperfections, insecurities, because not all can see the beauty of them all…but those who could, will love you for a lifetime,  just for the person that you are….”

I was silent for a moment, but then I realized that my pride was failing me. I felt strange, as though I was a pile of snow melting under the sun, which wasn’t usual for me, and the words he said was sinking into me, making butterflies flutter inside me. Sung Gyu, indeed, was the god’s plan for me. Looking back, I realized that there was always something which made us click and the sparks to fly. True, he was always hell-bent into making his marriage work out right, but if I hadn’t known any better, that was just how Kim Sung Gyu was. If I were driven by my pride and desire for perfection, Sung Gyu was driven by his persistent faith and determination. He wasn’t giving up. He was a fighter, and he would fight until the end, until he would see the point where he should inevitably give up. He didn’t want his marriage to merely fail him. He needed to make things work. But never did he waver when he saw the point where giving up was scarcely expected. He walked away, just like that, but then he knew where it had led him onto. I felt pride blooming inside me at this thought. It was the reason why he saying the sheer word of ‘divorce’ made me glimmer with pride. Because he wanted to leave everything aside before he would come back to me, no matter how long it would take. He didn’t have to say it, and I would be an idiot if I couldn’t understand that much. In that way, we were puzzle pieces put together to make the most perfect of picture of all. Our qualities and flaws complemented each other, the angles perfectly fitting in. It had been the god’s conquest indeed, and finally, after all the circles and round-ups, we were here, melting into the warmth of each other’s arms. Finally finding ourselves precisely where we belonged.

“Sung Gyu, You…I-I….am….” I stammered in a whisper, and simply trailed off, unable to find words. Truth to be said, I wasn’t made for flattery, for wording out my true thoughts and complements. At every point where this came to me as a true necessity, I would opt to other methods, basically related to moving off the topic or feigning ignorance. But then, at that point, when Sung Gyu gave me the most gracious smile, I knew that he knew me through, that he could understand that much.

“Hush, now, Eunji…You don’t have to…” he whispered, and he slowly rubbed my back in a way which assured me that I was in the right hands. “Even if you want to…let time do the trick. Until then, you can just….”

Before he could say it, as though I caught the word on its way, I leaped forward, caught the lapels of his shirt and blemished him with my kisses. He chuckled through them, placed his hands on my waist and turned us around so that I was against the wall, in his place and tilted his head to kiss me more. I didn’t fight against him this time. Instead, I kissed him, trying to match his pace, his intensity, and suddenly it was the best thing in the world. It occurred to me that the wait I had been doing all these days was finally over. I no longer had to wander off to the park or loom about the side walk in the dark or watch the road over the balcony until my expectations would subside. Instead, I could kiss like this every day, love without restrictions, hope without fears and feel without hassle. I could be honest for once and keep my walls intact so that only the persons who really deserved it would see right through me. I could once not pretend and be the true self I had always been. I could love myself for being who I was.

After a long moment of kissing which for me felt like hours, I pulled away the slightest, to a distant where our lips still touched and foreheads rested on one another, and I found him smiling.

“You know…” I said, my voice softer than it had ever been, and breathless. “I moved into this house…which is upstairs…”

“Ah…” He said mildly and nodded. “That house of the Indian researchers…”

“They moved out” I too, nodded in return.

“Oh so I heard”

I bit my lip then, trying to figure out a way to gather my words so they wouldn’t come out as weird, and finally made up my mind.

“T-the house is nice” I said, being totally ridiculous as though I was an estate agent and I was selling it. “It’s got a balcony…windows…carpets…a couch…” I looked down at his soft, slightly reddened lips, gulped thoughtfully and added. “…and a bed…”

“Uh huh” He pressed on with a mysterious smile.

“A-and I have a pet too!” I quickly added, in hopes it would cover for my previous awkward invitation to bed with me. “It’s a gold fish, in a bowl…swimming in circles around it and stuff…but I call her kitty”

Sung Gyu laughed softly in response, and to my palm which was separated only by the flimsy material of his plain V-neck T shirt, the reverberation of his laughter came in sensual waves. And with his breath colliding with mine, his lips still moving along mine as we spoke, I could feel heat rush through every cell and vein, and I wanted him, I wanted him to want me.

“That’s…an interesting name…for a fish” He said.

My hand reached up and hesitantly tugged onto the lapel of his cream shaded cashmere jacket. “Well…would you like to meet her? I mean, She’d be…delighted”

I supposed it was one good way of inviting one’s ‘after-a-dreadful-fiancé-fiasco’ lover to bed with them, relating their pet fish into it, so much so that Sung gyu immediately reacted and dipped down to kiss me. It was a soft but long peck, him theatrically taking my breath away and finally stepped back before, once again, giving me that heart-fluttering smile. Then he took my hand in that slender, warm one of his.

“Come one, now. Can’t keep the poor fish waiting”

I blushed, which I guess was a first, and together we rounded the corner and climbed up the iron stairwell before coming up to the balcony and the front door. Sung Gyu stood behind me while I struggled with the old-fashioned door locked with a key. While I concentrated on it, I felt Sung Gyu moving closer to me, and soon his hand began to slide up and down my arm.

“Hey…” He said in a soft voice. “All good now…Eunji?”

It was not a question for me, though it probably was one. It was a promise, a revelation, and I too knew that there was more to it than just the sheer meaning of the word, a lot more than I could read into.

Wordlessly, I unlocked the door, opened it a crack and simply turned around, slightly catching him off guard and buried my face in his chest. It was a nice chest, soft, slightly mushy and warm. He scented of lemons, perspiration and the spring, and it was perfect as it was. My cheek pressed against him, and I could hear his heart which was beating faster, and I hoped mine would attempt to catch along the pace of his. I let out a long sigh then and hummed softly, snuggling closer into him. “It’s good. All good…
 I said and gently ran my hand up his back. “It’s wonderful, it’s perfect…”

Sung Gyu’s hands, which rested limply on his sides found their way around me. One was on my smaller back, the other in my hair. He raised his head the slightest and kissed on my crown for long as though he was imprinting his existence on me. Then his cheek pressed onto my head, and he heaved a long, satisfied sigh. “It’s perfect indeed…”

Leaning into his embrace, huddled within the cold autumn breeze and feeling our hearts beating along one another, what I came to understand was, through the entire fiasco, through the circles and labyrinths we had encircled and pushed through, I had finally come to learn just what exactly we were searching for, when it comes to relationships, when it comes to love. Relationships and love, they were beautiful things, wonderful things, life-long phenomena which we definitely cannot evade. The common misconception about them was that we are all running in circles, crazed, frantic; infatuated by the idea of finding the right one. There wasn’t a right one, the right one did not exist. It was never about the right one, it shouldn’t be, because what relationships should really mean was finding yourself in the arms of another. A relationship where curves and edges fell right into place with not a single point amiss, where the flaws were perfections as much as the perfections themselves were.

Even though I fearlessly stepped back, wrenched open the door and pulled Sung Gyu inside with a handful of his shirt, only so that I could close the door behind us, I was well aware that the chapter hadn’t entirely closed yet. There were still the rough edges, the uncertainties, the questions which laid silenced but remained important, questions we were afraid to dwell on and were tempted to abandon in the dark. Things were only starting for us, which gave us million matters to ponder upon. He was a married man, newly divorced, families still parting ways, wounds still raw and yet to heal. I hadn’t completely settled but I was gradually getting there. Better yet, I knew, it was for the best that we hold onto the strings and keep our minds open to the light. Things might get difficult, they may remain uncertain, but whatever goes, there was the light leading us, the trust, the belief and faith driving us on all the right ways. For now, in that sense, the going was good. Despite everything under the limelight, the going was certainly, incontestably good.

*

-“Hello?”

-“Question; if a lawyer asked a recruiter to marry her, would he agree to take her hand?”

***

FIN

Author's note

Hello everyone!
It was indeed a big roller coaster ride, writing this, surprisingly similar to that of 'Confessions of a bachelorette' (Which took two years to complete while this took only one month) and I am forever grateful for everyone who stayed with me from the begining to the end. There are so many of you who held my hand and lead me through this short journey and I will owe you all my whole life for being there for me. Thank you. I couldn't think of better ways to thank you for your kind words and gestures other than giving you stories which I have put my heart and soul into. Each one of my stories carry a piece of my heart!

As for a word about the story, although the whole firm-game fiasco is very fake and kind of ridiculous (Honestly, I don't study law, I major in statistics) I had to do a whole lot of research on it. And this BKL thing actually exists too! I really hope they have y lawyers looming around in cashmere coats. But the point is, we live in a world where people of so many characters exist. The best way around living it is not trying to understand every single one of them but undestanding yourself so that you would know which and which characters fit best for you. In this story I emphasised how important it is to give yourself the priority. I suppose that is where Eunji went wrong. Although she wouldn't say it, what she'd been doing all that time was trying to satisfy everyone around her by posing as a perfect being so that nobody would notice and criticise her flaws. She has so many insecurities and she's too afraid to accept them. The thing is, just be yourself. I loved Eunji here for not playing her part in any other way although she was obsessed with pulling out a perfect outside. She was sassy and cruel and although she kept her feelings to herself, she was strong in many ways, and she didn't change. It was kind of admirable, you know. True, it is kind of wrong to be all y, but its perfectly okay to be yourself because the truth is, there are people who loves you for just the way you are.

The reason why I'm talking so much on my author's note is because I write not only as my passion and for my satisfaction but because its my personal mode of letting out my thoughts. I want my readers to learn something, gather a message which they could apply to their own lives, and if they do learn something, as much as they enjoy the tale, it's the best kind of satisfaction that a writer can ever get.

Anyway, on an end note, I'd say it once more. Be yourself, no matter what kind of a person you are. You don't have to necesserily change yourself completely. Drop your totally bad habits perhaps? Nonetheless, remember, there are people who loves you for just the kind of a person you are.

I'll end with something my best friend told me. I am a little crazy so I cut off people when I want to, so I did it to her once, and she said; "Why do you always give up on people who loves you?" (Don't. Just don't. It hurts them so much)

Thank you again everyone! I hope you'd stay with me for the other stories I'm planing to write.

Loads of love.

Achini,

Ps; How do you feel about me mixing personal childhood experiences with Sung Gyu? (And if he is a cool daddy with an year old baby? Aww!)