Hair, jet black.

Suit well pressed,

Tie, none.

Winter jacket, an expensive cashmere.

Nonetheless, Jung Eunji couldn’t fathom where he came from. It was in the morning on that particular day that she was informed by her older brother that she’d be visited by the best friend of his, whose profession he refused to reveal. Nam Woohyun, if he weren’t the most surreptitiously ambiguous person on earth, he was most certainly the most ambiguous she had ever come across in her life. Despite being her step brother by birth (Since her parents had assumed their attempts of conceiving had gone to naught, before she was born) Woohyun hardly ever really treated her like one. Woohyun cared for her, Eunji could say that much. But since recently, especially after she began her new job, he’d been constantly climbing up her nerves with his sudden plans of changing her mind as well as her path of desired profession. But of course, she knew that where his intentions lied was always valid. But only, she enjoyed her job, and she was convinced that not even her dear old brother could change her mind for the extremely stubborn person she was. Not even if he’d send his so-called best friend with the task in his hand.

The person before her was watching her with equal interest as herself. His thin eyes were narrowed that they were hardly visible. Lips, too pretty for a man, were formed into a thin line. There were slight wrinkles on his forehead despite having such clear and fair skin. He was, as she assumed, in his early thirties, and just when he finally gave her (or more to himself) a rather approving nod, she instantly drew her conclusion. He was definitely another one of Nam Woohyun’s sly plans.

Eunji pulled back, sitting up straight in her leather bound chair and gave him a rather censorious look.

“No, I’m not taking another job” She said.

The man across from her kept on gazing up at her, his fingers subtly running up his jaw as though he were deep in his thoughts. There was a slight smile gracing his lips, it took him quite a while before he replied. “For a lawyer of your age, Miss Jung, you’re quite very talented. I’m impressed”

“I’m sure you’d use the same tactics to sell me” Eunji reprimanded, her composure unwavering. “When you’d go and recommend me at the firms who hired you”

The stranger, whom she knew only as Nam Woohyun’s best friend, gave her a knowing smile. “How could you be so sure?”

“You’re a head hunter” Eunji answered without a second thought. “Why else would my brother send you to me?”

He continued to watch her, his eyes tracing every inch of her as expected of someone engaged in his profession; attentive, cunning, appealing. Finally he sat up, gave her one graceful smile and reached into his jacket pocket. What he happened to throw at her direction across the table, just as she had assumed, was a business card. It was rather professional, stiff and neat. In dark blue embossed lettering was his name and designation.  “Kim Sung Gyu, Legal recruiter, Department of recruitment; Bae, Kim and Lee”

She couldn’t stop herself when a scoff of mockery erupted from her parted lips. “Interesting. A growing law firm in Seoul” Then she looked up to meet her eyes. “I heard they’re slowly crumbling down, Mister Kim”

“Certainly” He answered, yet despite what he response meant, he sounded rather haughty and confident. “That is why, Miss Jung, we’re hiring talented associates. A good pay, feasible working hours and a rather spacious and friendly working environment” He leaned across the table and gave another one of his dazzling smiles. “I’m sure it sounds tempting to you”

Eunji managed to give him a rude roll of eyes. Certainly the offer was tempting for her, for a talented lawyer of her age to be working along with lawyers of the same talent and passion as herself, to be recruited at one of the most reputed law firms in Seoul. The offer was tempting for her indeed. But only, Eunji was ambitious to build up a firm of her own. A firm which served the right purposes, a firm which suited her desires and a firm which didn’t keep her restricted by rules and protocols. She wanted to be surrounded only by her free will.

And she was liking it. Rather than working under another strict partner who mercilessly enforced her to commit herself more than she was willing to, although the salary was higher and the position was reasonable, Eunji enjoyed herself more in being free of all such deterrents. She enjoyed having a place of her own. She enjoyed being in control. Most of all, her talent, her talent of using her impressive detective senses into use hadn’t been more exhilarating than it was now, working as a private investigator by herself. And she was liking it.

Though her brother certainly did not.

“Just tell my brother that he failed again” Eunji said, sliding the card over the vinyl surface of the table to her opposite direction. “I’m happy where I am, and I don’t hope to work for yet another so-called ‘leading’ firms again”

Sung gyu wasn’t taking it. He looked down at her hand, her fingertips pressed lightly against the card underneath and only gave her a shrug. “I’d rather if you keep it” He said, and finally got up on his feet. Still seated in her designated place as the only partner of her firm, Kim Sung gyu, the recruiter was suddenly a significant presence before her. He tugged at the lapels of his winter jacket, which he never got around to take off, ran a few slender fingers through his dark locks of hair and gave her a smile. “In case you’d change your mind…I’m only a phone call away, Jung Eunji”

Eunji smiled back and folded her arms on her chest. “Well, I highly doubt that. Close the door on your way back, Kim Sung gyu”

With a slight wave directed on her direction behind him, Kim Sung Gyu walked away and out of her sight. Eunji took another one non-committed glance at the card lying silently on her desk, reached out to it, folded it in two and almost dropped it to the bin beside her. It was for some strange reason that she decided against it. A reason she couldn’t fathom. It was because she suddenly felt as though his number was a number that she was bound to keep with herself, which she was bound to use one day. As though he was a person she was supposed to know. Someone important. And throwing the only one evidence of their encounter away, for her, suddenly seemed like a big mistake.

*

“I bloody hate you, Nam Woohyun” Eunji bellowed into the phone, her other hand angrily meddling with the lock of her door. “What part of ‘I don’t need another job’ do you not understand?”

Eunji had finally returned home after a long day, and certainly her fiancé hadn’t come back from work, hence the still locked door. She and her husband-to-be, Lee Howon who worked for the same law firm she started off at, were to get married in another two months. It was a difficult time for the both of them, what with busy jobs and wedding planning, and since they hardly ever found time for themselves, they finally decided to share a condominium in the heart of Seoul city even if it was before marriage. Howon was a kind, understanding young man, much like herself. And their story unraveled as one of those tales you’d find in novels; best friends becoming lovers. Nonetheless, their relationship was another one of her affairs that Nam Woohyun never approved of. Eunji, being herself made decisions by herself and asked Howon to marry her as though to prove to him that she no longer needed his guidance and interference. It was a spontaneous decision at that time, which sounded implausible even. Howon agreed anyway, claiming that he would do anything for her for the love that he had for her. Woohyun didn’t impede after that point, most possibly because he found another crucial life affair of hers to start interfering with.

“First off, Eunji, I’m your brother. Have some respect. Second off, you do need a job which you still haven’t realized yet” Woohyun was saying on the other end.

Silence, and Eunji finally pulled open the door. Woohyun was speaking again. “What did Sung gyu Hyung say?”

She dropped the grocery back non-too gently onto the kitchen counter and poured a glass of water for herself. “Well, he said that my firm shows prospects of being successful and that he thinks my job suits me well”

Eunji could almost feel her brother roll his eyes on the other end. “Truth, Jung Eunji, the truth”

A sigh. “He’s a legal recruiter for Bae, Kim and Lee and offers me an associate position”

“Sounds like a plan” Woohyun said.

“Sounds like bull to me” Eunji replied.

There was an audible sigh of anger, annoyance and disappoint from Woohyun’s part. He’s been facing a number of disappointments lately; especially related to Eunji, the reason for which she couldn’t fathom. Since her younger days, Eunji had always been the golden child. Well-mannered, intelligent, educated, and knew her way around everything. It wasn’t a secret for Eunji and everyone else around her that the person who built her from the scratch was her brother. After her parents divorced when she was only twelve years old, and when she and her brother was only left with a mother who committed herself more into her gambling addiction than to child rearing, it was Woohyun who looked into everything related to his younger sister. Growing up, however, how Eunji began to see his affection was as an interference, as though he was taking up the obligation of bringing her up instead of allowing her to bloom on her own. She had often wondered what pleasure he got from doing this. It was burdening her. Woohyun, at most cases, was a burden to her. She eventually concluded that he had a sister complex of some sort.

“Eunji, you have to listen to me when I’m trying to help you here. You have plenty of time to begin a firm of your own. Just-just keep the foundation first”

“I did!” Eunji replied, and leaned against the kitchen counter. “At Harvey and Kim”

Harvey and Kim was the law firm she previously worked at, starting off as a junior associate and climbing up the ladder of judicial professions for good four years. When she decided to leave her position at Harvey and kim, she was no longer a junior associate, and also no longer beheld the interest of working for a large-scale law firm ever again. Her profession as a corporate lawyer there was what which caused a massive set-back in her life, which she considers her biggest nightmare. Thus, the last thing she wanted right now in her peaceful life was going back to square one.

“Harvey and Kim” Woohyun echoed, sounding as though the words were sour to speak. “Harvey and Kim…it was never the place for you, Eunji”

“Oh” She began, and paced around the kitchen confines. “So, Bae, Kim and Lee is the right place, the place where my whole life will fall into place, is it?”

“You can never be certain, can you?” Woohyun replied without missing a beat. “After all, Eunji, all challenges in life has a silver lining”

Eunji stopped pacing in the kitchen and caught the sight of a stray wine bottle resting on the counter in the dark with two glasses on the side. She couldn’t remember the last time she and Howon shared a glass of wine, yet she was certain that this particular bottle, a French brand dated from the 1990s was the expensive gift they received as hampers from Harvey and Kim last summer. She couldn’t remember Howon and her ever making plans to open it.

She turned away from the suspicious bottle for the time being and returned her attention to her brother. “The thing is, I find starting a private investigators firm more challenging than working for Bae, Kim and Lee. Do you get it? It’s thousand times more challenging”

Woohyun was silent for a second, during which Eunji got rid of her jacket and sprawled across the sofa, and then he said; “What’s a challenge which has no possibility of succeeding? Remember Eunji, you’re meddling with your own life”

Eunji found her point to fight back. “Well then, you’re meddling with mine. So quit it, there’s no point of having this conversation”

A deep long sigh from the other end. “Eunji, do you know just how bloody difficult you are? Stupid, stubborn and so bloody arrogant-,”

“Yeah yeah” Eunji responded, waving her hand in the air as though to dismiss him. “I get it. So there’s your point. Give my wishes to Chorong unnie okay?”

Woohyun only muttered something about having all his commitments gone to waste, and still basking in his anger and disappointment in her, he finally put down the phone. It was with great relief that she lied back and recoiled into her own world. Through all the hardships in her life, the only comfort she could find was the time spent alone or with her husband in the confines of their condominium, the only place secluded from the harsh reality. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine herself in a better place. There were the ‘What ifs’ which would always flood her mind whenever she allowed her thoughts to wander. What if her parents never got divorced? What if her mother never got addicted to gambling? What if her brother was never adopted? What if she never met Howon? What if she was never born?

Through the course of this thought then, the vine bottle which had landed on the kitchen counter without her knowledge came into her mind. Since Howon wasn’t at home yet and also since only she and Howon had access to the condominium, Eunji couldn’t fathom how one could have, if they never got around to do so, taken out the bottle of vine which, as she remembered, was kept in the cupboard along with other alcoholic beverages. She climbed up on her feet, returned to her open-planned kitchenette, located the bottle of vine and realized that it was half empty. Then there were two glasses accompanying it. By instinct, she held them up and examined each of them. It didn’t take her much to realize that there was a lip-mark of a woman in crimson which she couldn’t recognize. A mark which certainly wasn’t hers.

*

Howon got late than usual to return home that night. Eunji wasn’t the kind to stay up and wait for him until he’d return so she wasn’t surprised when the lights turned up in the hallway which awoke her in the middle of the night. Through the haziness of her sleep, Eunji climbed down the bed, located her house slippers and trudged out of her room, Just as she assumed, Howon was standing in the middle of the hallway, his jacket in his hand, his eyes focused on his phone and he was smiling to himself. Seeing nothing odd about his behavior, Eunji croaked out in a husky voice; “Hey!”

Howon was baffled by her presence and jumped in surprise upon seeing her in the darkened hall. “Oh! I didn’t think you were up”

“I wasn’t” Eunji said and gave him a small smile. “I was asleep, but I heard you coming”

He gave her a warm smile, which sent the butterflies in her stomach flying. Nonetheless, although she was expecting for him to step over to her and hold her in his embrace, it wasn’t happening. She scanned his eyes, his face, and his posture. He seemed out of place. Something was off.

“You okay?” She asked, taking a careful step towards him. It wasn’t a secret that Eunji could read people’s emotions off the first page and read between lines of the words they speak, a talent she’s received from god-knows-where and came always handy with regards to her profesion and then her life.

“Oh?” Howon looked up, sounding distracted, and he soon slipped his phone into his pocket, an action which didn’t go unnoticed. “I’m fine” He said, and gave her another smile. “Just a little tired…”

Unconvinced, Eunji pulled together the lapels of her night rob, tightened it around her and walked into the kitchen. “Working over time today?”

Howon, unlike herself, was working in intellectual property which to her was much more complicated than what she followed, thus the all-nighters he pulled made much sense to her.

“Yeah…work’s all piled up” He replied, and followed her to the kitchen. He then found the bottle of vine which Eunji left earlier that night and took a swig straight from the bottle itself, at which point it occurred to her that she should be asking him about it.

“That’s the bottle you got for hampers last summer” Eunji pointed out conversationally, while her eyes wandered in the content of her fridge.

“Oh?” Howon went again, and Eunji closed the door of the fridge behind her. It could have even been only her, but for some reason Howon seemed quite paled. “Oh this…yes, it is…”

Without wanting to ask any further about it, since she could already feel that it had been him behind the suddenly appearing bottle of vine, Eunji only gave him a nod and proceeded towards the hallway. It was at this point that her fiancé called her name. She turned back to meet his eyes. “Yes?”

Howon still seemed a little pale, and when he spoke, Eunji could easily read between the lines. He was hiding something. He was hiding something from her, Jung Eunji, whom nobody can hide anything from.

“Eunji…I want to talk about the wedding” He said.

For the time being, she decided to overlook whatever he might be not telling her and returned to the kitchen. He had pulled out a chair and was had already seated himself, which Eunji followed. Afterwards there was a long moment of silence between them, during which something close to anger, annoyance, and doubt was being summoned within her. For the first time in her life, her instincts were telling her something different. For the first time in her life, she was doubting herself since the truth and the reality could turn out to be too difficult and impossible to believe.

“What about it?” Eunji finally said in the end. Howon, for her surprise, seemed to be avoiding her eyes. If it wasn’t so blatantly obvious, she would never have believed that such actions would ever come from the always confident and composed Lee Howon, but witnessing him, and all of them so obvious before her, Eunji couldn’t fathom if it was right to believe what she felt.

“I want to….I want to delay it a bit. Another couple of months maybe?”

Eunji gave him a closer, attentive look. “Delay it? Or cancel it?”

Surprised by the firmness of her tone, Howon looked up to finally meet her eyes.

“What? No, I-,”

“Delay it or cancel it” Eunji repeated more sternly, her voice not wavering once. “Because as much as you’re trying to convince me, on even yourself here I’m in much doubt as yourself about what you’re saying, Howon”

There was silence on his part then, and the silence was so sharp and prominent that Eunji could even hear the faint sound of clocks ticking ever so clearly. She waited then, her insides burning with rage. She couldn’t understand what was going on, nonetheless. What was happening to the four year relationship they shared which went on this long without a single glitch? They were going on so well together, they were beyond perfect. And that was the whole reason why her senses were failing to grasp the obvious inklings lying around her.

The truth was too difficult and impossible to believe.

“Eunji” Howon finally began to speak. “I know what you are thinking-,”

“I saw the lip mark on the vine glass” Eunji cut in. And when she said that, she wanted her to deny it, to tell her that her observations, for the first time ever, was wrong, to tell her that there wasn’t anything of the sort. But Howon was sitting there with no sense of denial, as though he was accepting defeat. As though he wasn’t going to fight. And it killed her.

“Say something about it, you know how I am”

“You…” Howon began and quickly his chapped lips. “You’re getting better at this, Eunji…”

She gave him a sharp look. “Explain”

Howon didn’t seem like he had to think anything through before he explained, as though everything’s been there on the tip of his tongue, well executed words, already planned and only to be served to her with nothing amiss. When he met her eyes, everything seemed more obvious than anything has ever been to her heedful senses, and she realized, all this time, they have always been there. The evidences, the inklings, and all the traces of little breadcrumbs he had left, leading her to the truth. It had been her who had missed them, overlooked them, because she was afraid of knowing the mere truth.

“I’m tired of this, I’m tired of you, and what we are doing” He said in the end, his hands, knuckles whitened, were grasping each other before him. “I don’t think we ever worked out, Eunji. For four years…what we started off back then was something naïve, foolish, and we should never have carried on”

“You don’t” Eunji said and caught her breath. She wasn’t falling. She was Jung Eunji, and she would never fall. “Don’t beat around the bush and say it”

Howon nodded, sat up, met her eyes, and when he spoke his words were resonant and clear in the silence of the night which surrounded them. “I’m seeing someone else right now, and I don’t think we can end it any sooner”

Eunji didn’t waver, not once. Maybe she had known it all along. “I know”

“It’s you after all, Eunji” Howon said genuinely. “You, of all people would have known”

Eunji feigned ignorance at his remark and looked down at the wedding band on her finger. She could have guessed that much, if she hadn’t been afraid of the truth. After all, she was the one who wanted the marriage to which he wordlessly agreed. Eunji had never asked or considered anything on his part. She made decisions, all choices all along. And as she realized it now, they’ve been falling apart all from the beginning, she could see that there was no stopping it.

“We’ll call off the wedding then,” Eunji said in the end and finally looked up, her eyes cold as steel. “But on one condition”

“What is it?” He asked.

And she knew she had to salvage the situation, to remain to be the strong one, the one who had no flaws, the golden child, and she hated to let anyone see where she had failed.

“Tell everyone it’s me who’s calling off the wedding. Say it’s me who doesn’t want it, and that you were only complying with my wishes”

Howon raised his brows. “Does it make any difference?”

“It does” Eunji replied without a beat. “Believe me, it makes a great deal of difference”

Howon sighed, ran his fingers through his hair and finally got up on his feet. “Okay…whatever you wish Eunji”

“Good” She replied, and climbed up on her feet herself. She proceeded towards the bedroom then, her head was light, and her heart wasn’t burning as she expected it to. In fact, she felt rather conscious of her surrounding, as though she was finally lifting her head above water. She was conscious of the fact that she was no longer held back by her marriage and all the responsibilities which followed them, she was conscious of it that she was, in a strange way, given freedom to fly on her own.

“I’ll sleep in the couch” Howon called from behind her. She agreed, though she hardly spoke a word, and it was once she had returned to the comfort of her being alone that she realized, there was indeed a burn in her heart. The hole that Howon was going to leave behind with her, that space which he had always filled and never be filled again. The sense of belonging, the feeling of not being alone. With a sudden rush of emotions, she realized that she was left alone once more, like how her mother left her off to deal with her gambling, like how her father left them and married a Japanese woman half his age. For the first time in her life, Eunji felt utterly, incredibly alone. It was because of all these that she happened to cry herself to sleep that night.

*

When Eunji went to work the following morning despite her sleep deprived self, the first thing she happened to see was a familiar back of a man, a familiar cashmere trench coat and Sung Jong, her co-worker engaged in a rather dubious conversation with him. If things weren’t difficult enough for her, Eunji would have treated the situation more pleasantly. But what with everything that happened to her overnight, Kim Sung Gyu and her brother’s antagonism against her were the last things she wanted to deal with.

“Eunji is yet to arrive sir” Sung Jong was saying, and she could sense him being as polite as possible. “Besides we haven’t even opened yet”

“You don’t have to ‘be open’ as how you say, young man” Sung Gyu was saying in his deep, confident voice. “I’m here to see her for a personal matter”

“But she had asked me to steer clear of head hunters”

Sung Gyu then, began to erupt in laughter. This, Eunji took as the moment to finally intervene.

“What is going on here?”

“Eunji” Sung Jong nodded, and Eunji nodded back before looking up towards her visitor. “Mister Kim, how may I help you?”

“Good morning to you too, miss Jung” Sung gyu said, and Eunji noticed that he wasn’t looking as cheerful as he did the day before. I’m here to discuss an urgent matter with you.

Eunji scanned his eyes, trying to grasp his true intentions and gave him a sharp look. “I think I made myself clear, Kim Sung Gyu. I’m not betting in contact with-,”

“I believe it’s a matter we should discuss inside”

Eunji’s anger raised before she could stop herself. “No” she said, and was certain that her rage would erupt any moment from now. “I’d rather discuss it here and make myself absolutely clear to you that I. Do. Not. Wish. To. Work. With. You”

Sung Gyu turned to her and gave her a sharp look that sent shivers down her spine. “Did I even mention to you what matter I was here to discuss, Miss Jung?”

His voice was so confident, so strong and in a matter of seconds he had managed to deprive her of air to breathe on, solely by his words. All of a sudden, Kim Sung Gyu was an overwhelming presence, for the first time ever, putting her a level down than she had always kept herself. She was rendered speechless, and she hated him for doing that to her, making her look weak in the presence of another.

Eunji took a cautious step back, and bringing her strong-self back, gave him a mocking smile. “Do you have to? So desperate you are. I can say without asking”

Sung Gyu took a step towards her. “Oh, you have no idea”

“Do I not?” Eunji pushed on. “It’s all obvious though. You are desperate”

At this point, Sung Gyu looked murderous, the mischievous glint had vanished completely, being replaced by something dark, clouding his eyes with rage. Eunji knew that she was certainly stepping into the wrong territory, the forbidden waters. Nonetheless, judging by the position she herself was in now, she couldn’t care less. She wanted to hurt somebody, and it was only this perfect stranger who was available in the line.

She decided to carry on.

“Is the firm falling so badly? Are you too losing your job? A mere recruiter of a reputed firm, what can you do to salvage it, hm?”

Sung Gyu gave her a mocking scoff and took another step towards her, now cornering her to the wall. “You have no idea what you are talking about, Jung Eunji”

She gave him a laugh in return. “Well, I think I have a-“

Before she could finish what she started, Sung Gyu took a harsh and sudden step forward, which sent her tumbling backwards against the wall. She could hear Sung Jong exclaiming his protests behind them, but Sung Gyu seemed to take no note. In fact, the only thing he seemed to take not of was her, his eyes glistening with fury and perspiration on his forehead even on a cold autumn morning. His arms were on either sides of her as though he thought she’d escape. Eunji tried her best to keep her posture calm and firm through this. Carry on being the perfect woman she was in everyone’s eyes but she was certain she was failing gradually. More than that, she wanted to know what buttons she had pushed on him to be so furious, what was setting his head on fire. She couldn’t fathom it, not even with her attentive senses. For her, he was suddenly a ship sailing through the fog. She couldn’t read him off the first page at all.

“Listen now, Miss Jung Eunji” He spoke, and his warm breath, carrying a white mist disappeared before her eyes, colliding with her own. “I don’t give a damn about whatever the is going on with you, I don’t give a damn if your bloody business is failing or if you have nowhere to go. As much as I am given the task to find the appropriate people to work for the firm, I do not intend to let them hire someone like you. So arrogant, proud and so over the head; I have never met anyone as despicable as you. I have heard a lot about you from your brother, and I feel sorry for him to be stuck with someone like you. I never say it, because he’s my friend and I respect him. But I am saying it to you because you deserve to know. And no, I’m not here to what you think I’m here for. I’m here because I respect your brother, so let’s please kindly forget that this ever happened and get on with our day shall we?”

Eunji stared back at him, speechless, horrified and hatred filling her mind. She despised him, she despised him to the core. But his words only made her stronger, for he didn’t heed her as weak, but as everything that she had always wanted to be. Yet, she didn’t say a word and only watched him as he finally stepped away from her and arranged his crooked tie.

“That being said” He spoke, quickly regaining his composure. “Miss Jung, I need your help”

Eunji didn’t say a word, and still remained standing against the wall she was cornered to.

“Mister Kim-,” Sung Jong interrupted behind him, and so Sung Gyu was responding to him while his eyes were blatantly fixed on her. “I want to hire a private investigator, and I heard Miss Jung has done fantastically with her previous cases”

“Whatever for?” Eunji managed in the end, and Sung Gyu finally gave her a slightest but a sad smile. “I just heard that my wife is cheating on me. I want you to investigate on her. I’m impressed of your capabilities, and because of your brother, Miss Jung, you’re the one I trust”

I wanted to write something more on the serious note?

Enjoy!

(Ps; I have my sociology exam on tuesday, so the next update will be late)