( Taeyeon & Jonghyun's Breath )

so sorry guys

"Can we meet now, Jiyong?" I spoke in a brittle voice. He's my boyfriend for six months now.

"Sure! I'm in Hongdae, inside my car. I was about to buy a coffee in Starbucks when you called," explained Jiyong. His voice sounded so cheerful. He added, "Where are you? I'll pick you up."

Typical Jiyong. He's a boyfriend material. I adored him so much. Everything about him seems so perfect for me. But I am certain that he doesn't feel the same way as I do. 

"No need. Just wait for me. I'll be fine," I told him with finality and immediately ended the call.

We said that we were okay, comforting each other in pain

"Hi, hon!" Jiyong greeted the moment he sat on the passenger seat. He was grinning while staring at me. I don't know if I'm the reason behind it. 

With my eyes burning like fire because of my love for him, I observed him deeply unto his orbs. This love consumed me a lot – I have to end it now. I knew he noticed the not-so-fine atmosphere between us. 

"Tae?" he called in a gentle voice. It was always soothing.

"I can't take it anymore. What I truly feel, I want to stop hiding it. I want to stop pretending that I am happy... in this r- relationship."

"..." Jiyong was puzzled and loss for words at first while looking at me. His mind was thinking very hard to understand what I meant. We were in an eye-locking moment for almost a minute. Actually, my words were coherent, easy to understand. 

"W- What are you trying to say?" stutteringly, he asked. He broke the eye contact between us with a tear rolled down on his cheek. This is it.

"I know you're heart isn't with me. I know you still love her," I said the thing that hurts me the most – the reason why I want to part ways with him. He knew I was pertaining to that Japanese model.

He said nothing as it only sent heartache into my broken heart. No matter how hurt I was, tears never fell down, neither did I break down in front of him. I would just save that for later. My brokenness was clearly evident in my voice. 

When I sensed that he was about to speak, I continued, "It's okay to go to her. Don't worry about me."

"I'm sorry."

"Stupid! Don’t be sorry. I'm the one who will dump you."

"Believe me," he paused, sighing. "I love you, Taeyeon."

"And I love you too, Jiyong. B- But I can't be with a person who can't give me his whole heart."

"..."

"Please be honest to yourself," —I told him while looking intently into his teary eyes.— "Thank you for making me feel like I'm the most special girl for the past six months. Goodbye, Jiyong."

I was on the verge of tears but I held it back. I got out from his car and went to my BMW which was parked beside his car. There, I broke down. Luckily, my car was tinted. I could only cry. I just let go the precious gem that ever existed in my entire life. I shifted my eyes at my left, and he's still there. Before changing my mind, I started the car and left him.

"That's a wrap, girls! Now pack your things, go home, and have a good rest. . . I'll go first," I told them. We just finished rehearsing for our Japanese single to be released next month. As for myself, I decided to drink again. We only live once, right? I only wanted to enjoy the time of my life... and forget. 

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