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{2}

I felt her eyes on my face again, mapping out the features. Her indiscreet gazes weren’t helping my nervousness. It wasn’t helping the awkward palpitations that my heart was doing again, for 9^th time ever. Okay this is harder than I thought it was going to be. “Tiffany if you don’t stop staring at me I’m going back to the goddamned couch.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry, don’t sleep on the couch again. I don’t like it when I push you off your own bed,” she mumbled, surprisingly close, and I jerked a little in shock. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. I managed to stay on the couch for this long. That in itself is an accomplishment. When men stayed, they would at first sleep on the couch before we were comfortable enough, but since I tried to not have that relationship with Tiffany, I went to the couch. After a while she finally wanted me to sleep on the bed with her and I couldn’t deny it when she cuddled with my pillow and busted out that pouty puppy dog face. “Do you always sleep on your back?”

“Not really, but it’s comfortable,” I told her, leaning my head to the side. I hoped she would get the idea and go to sleep so I could follow suit. After a few suspenseful moments, I heard her deep breathing and let out a relaxed sigh. Finally, I can sleep without being anxious.

“Tae…” I can’t be dreaming of her voice, you’ve got to be kidding me. “TaeTae…” That’s new. A hand enveloped mine and the warmth hit a soft spot, making me furrow my brows and open my eyes. It’s still dark out. I looked to my left and saw Tiffany holding my hand, her big eyes quivering. Before I could understand why she woke me up, she suddenly rolled herself over my arm and into my chest so her back was pressed against me. She interlocked her fingers with mine and snuggled her head against my forearm. Oh my God why. What did I do to deserve this stupid act of fluff? I sighed and used my unoccupied hand to rub my eyes. I was obviously too sluggish for anything so I prayed that Tiffany wouldn’t wake up with a bass pounding against her spine and tried to replicate the way I’ve been held. I pulled her waist closer to mine and laid my arm over it. This feels right…?

“You’re lucky I’m exhausted,” I whispered into her neck and slept as the big spoon for the first time in my life.

Well past sunrise, I was alone in bed. I looked around. My left arm was still outstretched and numb, but Tiffany wasn’t in the house. I was starting to feel a little bit insecure without her around and it was a little bit frightening. Where did she go? I sat up and rubbed my face, slipping off the bed. I pushed the worry aside and stepped into the bathroom, noticing two toothbrushes, one pink one blue. I never thought that I would need to use the pink one. I took out my brush and stared at it. I didn’t need to use it, but sometimes I did when I drank alcohol. But Peter was into keeping his youthful look and had me do his morning routine with him. Stupid mortals and their dental hygiene. I squeezed a little bit of toothpaste onto the bristles and started brushing.

The memories came back in spurts. I would remember the arrivals and the stories, the laughs and heartfelt moments I once saved for each man I loved. They were happy memories, the ones that made me warm when I was cold and alone. And then the reasons came next, the reasons they left me. I didn’t have what it took to keep someone; there was always something more important than me. In the end I was always the other woman, the brief company, the detrimental distraction. I spit out the foam from my mouth. Suddenly it was a little painful to brush my teeth.

My mind was wandering to the past and it was getting harder to stand up on my own so I made up my mind and called Bill. I was going to learn how to cook for a human. “Since Tiffany and I can’t cook anything I decided that it would be bothersome to always rely on you. Plus, we’re both women and I feel that it would make her uncomfortable not knowing where you are around meal times when she needs privacy,” I mumbled.

“You make me sound erted,” his disembodied voice scoffed and I shrugged as his hand guided mine to chop up some onions. Apparently, when Bill came messing around in the kitchen, Tiffany said she was going out for a run and wouldn’t be back until lunch.

“Well, how am I supposed to know how you behave around women? I don’t count since we’ve known each other for thousands of years,” I added.

“Alright, I get your point. Still, you’re gonna get with her and I don’t want to be a victim of that wrath—.”

“I told myself I’m not going to fall in love. I’m getting off this damned island if it kills me,” I sighed deeply, placing onions in a pan.

“Uh, good luck with that. You were hugging her in your sleep.”

“It was her fault! She was the one that rolled against me!” I snapped, sprinkling salt and oil over a salmon fillet before placing it with the onions.

“Mhm, sure thing, Taeyeon. Put that in the oven for twenty minutes and you’re done. By the way, isn’t this the first time you’ve tried to cook for any of your subjects?”

“Get out!” I snapped and he laughed, his presence disappearing from the island. Whatever, stupid invisible servant can’t keep his thoughts to himself. The door swung open and I expected to see Tiffany, back from her run, but instead I was shocked with the presence of Nero. The god wasn’t the type to have much free time, I hadn’t seen him since Julius left me heartbroken and in rage. He smiled at me and I straightened out. “Nero? What are you doing here? You know Belle and Lee visited me not long ago, right?”

“It’s nice seeing you too, Taeng,” he chuckled, ruffling my blonde hair and I brushed his hand away. I secretly loved the fact he was here. Nero was always the gentlest with me; his low, airy voice soothed me in a way. Maybe that’s why I have a thing for husky voices. “It’s late, but I’m sorry for your loss.” Peter. I cleared my throat. Just as I was moving on for the day.

“Thanks, Nero but…seriously, you guys have been visiting me way more often than usual. I’m glad you and Lee stopped by, Belle not so much, but what are you doing here?” I asked as he pulled out a chair and we both sat down at the table. There was something about his gray eyes that was startling to me. They seemed freakishly alert opposed to his preferred laidback character.

“The truth is I’m not supposed to be here but…I got word from Nigel that his scouts discovered abandoned tunnels in Kolasi,” he told me and I frowned. Tunnels in Kolasi? I guess it was possible since Kolasi was first and foremost a canyon before a prison, but how would those tunnels be made?

“Didn’t we drain the EXO’s powers? How would they be able to make tunnels?” I asked.

“Nigel said that he thinks they’ve been using their hands or rocks or things like that, monsters are down there too, they could be helping.” Are they looking for a way out? Even if they were, wouldn’t they be going upward? Why are they carving out tunnels? It would be worrisome if the Exovasis escaped; their powers were drained but if they slipped into Heaven then they could release them. If that happened then war might break out again, but with billions of humans and civilizations to trample upon. No, I will not worry about this with them. They forced me out, why should I care about the Exovasis?

“Okay, why are you telling me this? I’m not part of the Neaimos anymore, you don’t need to inform me about this,” I reminded and he sighed, stretching his long arms over the table.

“The scouts traced the ends of tunnels and calculated the approximate coordinates above ground. They’re all in the middle of the ocean. Nigel is convinced they’re trying to find this island.” I sat forward. No that wouldn’t do.

“Why? They’re looking for me?” I asked and he nodded. I fell back against my chair and rubbed my chin. That wouldn’t do. Why would they want me? Because I once helped my father? Because they think I have more power? My breath caught in my throat when I wondered what would happen if they came when Tiffany was around.

“Celeste set up a stronger barrier around the island to try to keep them out and Nigel’s scouts are searching for anyone or anything with answers down there, but I wanted to talk about this. If they do manage to get above ground then we’re going to need you,” he patted my hand and I shook my head. I ignored the way my spirit lifted and the way my hope glowed. I don’t have to spend eternity here?

“You should’ve thought about that before locking me up here,” I grumbled. “I can’t do anything from inside here, it would be plain inconvenient.”

“Celeste said that once you fulfill the necessary requirements your restrictions will be lifted. I’m really counting on you to gain our trust again,” Nero said and I stood up, taking out two glasses along with a bottle of whiskey. I sighed. They’re counting on me, but they still don’t trust me? What hypocrisy, why do I want to be a part of them again? “Taeyeon, I have faith in you. You’re family and we love you, can you understand that?” I slid the other cup over to him and he caught it. In that moment he looked very much like a leader, with his well-tailored navy blue suit and slicked back dirty blonde hair. He never dressed nicely until being appointed Ruler and he never looked as solemn as he did now. It’s because they’re still my family.

“I understand, Nero,” I nodded, sitting down again with my glass and the bottle. I sipped on the alcohol leisurely, basking in the information that was starting to hurt my head. “Did you see Tiffany yet?”

“Yes, Belle showed me her picture. She’s cute don’t you think?” he managed a light smile and I sighed deeply. There’s no use in lying.

“Quite,” I agreed. “But I won’t fall for her, she’s a woman and I don’t think I can grow to love one that way.”

“When your life stretches to the beginning and end of time, gender doesn’t matter too much. I guess that’s our fault, though, for only exposing you to men,” Nero sighed, taking the glass bottle and pouring himself some more of the drink. I shrugged. He made a point. “I have high hopes for Tiffany—.”

“Taeyeon! Holy cow, please tell me Bill cooked something – you’re not Taeyeon.” I sighed deeply. High hopes for this girl? I looked up and nearly had a heart attack. Where did the rest of her clothes go?! I jumped up and covered Nero’s eyes that were already bulging out of his sockets.  

“Go put on some clothes!” I yelled and she raised an eyebrow at me, putting her hand on her waist.

“I’m wearing clothes, thank you very much.”

“Those shorts don’t cover anything and neither does that sports bra!” I could barely look at her without turning red. Don’t look, please don’t look. OH MY GOD I LOOKED ASDF—. Tiffany rolled her eyes and hugged me briefly, making my chest implode, before strutting into the bathroom.

“Bring me a towel!” she called, shutting the door, and I dropped my hands, leaning on Nero as my legs gave out. Oh my God.

“Woah.” His eyes were still wide, fixated towards the door. I pushed his head. I’m not mad at him I’m just thinking he’s being erted right now. But at the same time so am I…“I should get back to the office,” he stood, clearing his throat. I hummed awkwardly. “I told you I had high hopes.”

“Get out of here before I throw you out, you have things to focus on,” I scoffed and he smiled, kissing my head with gentle care.

“Don’t make things harder than they have to be, okay? The next time I see you, I want you out of here.” I could really leave this island; he’s telling me I could really be happy. I trusted Nero immensely.

“I’ll see you then,” I nodded and he kissed my head once more before leaning back and tapping the point of his shoes on the wooden floors, shimmering before he disappeared.

While Tiffany ate her salmon after finishing her shower, I laid face flat on my bed. I thought about Nero and the others. Would my father dare to look at me again, after the pain he’s caused me? Would he expect me to help him again? If not for him, I wouldn’t have to be stuck here. I huffed angrily, deciding that I didn’t want to think of the Exovasis escaping and remembered the girl conveniently eating away ten feet from my bed. Lee first told me that Belle chose to put Tiffany here, so it’s obvious that she thinks she’s special. But Nero thinks she’s special too. That means that my key to leaving the island is Tiffany. He also said not to make things harder, what does that mean? What am I overcomplicating? I turned my head to the side and let out a breath. I forced myself not to think about the way Tiffany looked when she came back from her run. I couldn’t think of her like that. But I can’t get the image of her swaying out of my mind—NOPE. STOP. I slapped my forehead with a groan. “Was he also your cousin?” Tiffany asked, rolling next to me so that our eyes stared at each other. She always snuck up on me.

“Yes, I never see them so it’s weird for me to see you interact with them,” I confessed and she smiled a bit. Why does she make every conversation cheery with her little smile?

“He seems fonder of you opposed to Belle,” she noticed and I hummed.

“It’s not hard to be fonder of me than Belle,” I sighed and glanced down, only seeing white. “Are you only wearing a bathrobe?”

“I was hungry so I rushed out of my shower,” she pouted and heat started searing my ears. She is going to kill me soon. I turned around and threw my hand on her face.

“Go put on clothes, real clothes!”

“What do you mean ‘real clothes’? I always wear clothes! And it’s not like I have anything you don’t have!” she slapped my shoulder and before I could stop myself, I grinned at her. There was something about Tiffany that melted my insides. The brunette reached over and grabbed my waist, pulling herself closer to me so I was easier to hug. I let out an anxious breath and placed my arm around her head. Let’s be honest, her touch weakens me. “Thank you for holding me last night, I know you don’t really like hugs.” I lied to her, I loved hugs but I didn’t want to start loving hers.

“Do you want to tell me why you woke me up in the middle of the night just to spoon with me?” I wondered and she gently breathed against my neck, squeezing me a little tighter.

“It was just a bad dream, I needed comfort.” Tiffany seemed a lot more vulnerable than the other mortals I’ve met, but maybe that was just because they were men. But I wasn’t used to being the one who comforted. It was kind of refreshing.

“If you really need it, then hug me whenever,” I said, rubbing her head and she smiled against my neck. I told her that without thinking, but I meant it. I was falling for her hugs and cuddles. I just have to ignore the fact that she’s under her robe…

“Tell me something,” she murmured, snuggling against me. “Something that I don’t already know about you.” Tell her something that she doesn’t know about me? There were so many things I could say, so many things that she didn’t know about me. What does she know? The amount of time she’s been here was unknown to me, the days blurred and all I knew was that it was long enough to want to be around her but not long enough to prefer her over Peter.

“You go first,” I insisted and she hummed, sending chills down my spine.

“The necklace I have, the one with the dog tag and my name, it was the last thing that my father gave me before I left home.” Yes, the necklace that’s next to my knife. So she got it from someone else.

“Where are you from?” I asked.

“I was born in San Francisco, California but then I moved to ia for work,” she told me. California, a state in the U.S on the pacific coast and ia is on the east coast. “Now you.”

“The butterfly knife that I play with sometimes, on my nightstand, I got it from the last person that came here. He gave it to me when he…left, said to toy around with it instead of getting angry,” I mumbled and I felt her embrace get a little softer. The images flashed in my mind, the way his face looked when I managed to throw the tree aside. It was only pain, no anger.

“He left you?” she mumbled. Ugh I can’t lie to her.

“He actually died…from a storm,” I admitted and she circled my waist with her thumb. It helped control my sadness; I managed to keep in my tears. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t want to hurt him; I was just upset at that time. Can anyone understand that? Can she?

“I’m sorry, Taeyeon. I promise I won’t die on you,” she assured firmly, a few bare fingers brushed feverish skin under my shirt and I closed my eyes. You cannot just forget Peter because some girl is touching you, you can’t forget any of them. I took my arm back and unwrapped hers from my waist.

“Go get dressed, I just wanna lay here for now.”