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{Analysis}

I hope that everyone enjoyed reading To the Middle of Nowhere as much as I enjoyed writing it! It was a break that I really needed and I was able to remind myself that I could still create stories that didn’t need to be based on my life. However, this story still has a lot of my ideals and different things that I incorporated. If you feel like you didn’t understand why some things happened or why some characters were included, then you can read my analysis! Since I feel that many of the characters in this story were important, I’ll arrange this list from least to most mentions.

Taeyeon + ex-lovers (not including Peter):

All of Taeyeon’s past lovers haunt her conscience. Failed relationships, especially after falling in love with the other person, can seriously hurt your perception on relationships as a whole. Since Taeyeon is an immortal, she doesn’t want to forget those who weren’t able to stay with her and live as long as she has, even though they all left her. Keeping them close to her heart has shown to be a difficult thing for other lovers to get passed since she mentioned that whenever another man was brought up, the current one would get upset. Thinking of her past lovers also prohibits Taeyeon from truly trusting Tiffany. However, Taeyeon eventually comes to terms with the other men and understands that she has to let them go in order to focus on her present. I feel that those who’ve had bad relationships should also learn to accept the past. While it can be important to you to focus on someone who meant a lot, if they’ve hurt you or if they weren’t right for you, they were made that way for a reason.

Taeyeon + Lisous:

Taeyeon’s father greatly impacts Taeyeon’s actions and decisions, especially when they come to herself. Belle had mentioned that their lightning was similar in terms of power and Taeyeon is immediately repulsed by the idea of resembling her father in any way. However, it’s known that Lisous abused his daughter while she was young and this can easily translate into an unhealthy desire for revenge. In the Epilogue chapter, Taeyeon shows more concern in turning into a person like her father after sentencing him to dismemberment but goes forward with her decision. This shows that, while someone may strive to be the opposite of someone else, their ultimate dislike towards that person could make them blinded by everything except their hatred. More importantly, this is an example of how abuse, whether mental or physical, is life-altering and detrimental to one’s future.

This relationship is based off of my cousin and her children, mainly her middle child. Whenever I see them, she is always harsh and impatient with the kids, and I don’t know what else to call it besides emotional abuse. Her eldest child has turned out to be almost as equally harsh and impatient due to the way his parents behave and bullies the middle child whenever he has the chance. I have the utmost love and affection for the middle son, due to the fact I am also a middle child, and it continuously pains me to see him attacked by his parents and his older brother. I say nothing because I can’t tell someone, let alone my older cousin, how to raise her kids but I hope that others and myself will be able to raise my children to respect me without physical or emotional discipline.

Taeyeon + Peter:

It’s been made very clearly that Peter is immature and young, I wanted Peter to really embody youth in any way I could think of so I made him curious, gullible, energetic, immature, funny, and spiteful. This was sort of a play on all of the tender and irresponsible relationships that are more and more frequent nowadays, as I know that someone as young as middle school could be dating “seriously”. However, Peter was someone who had the body of an adult but a mind of a child. I wanted to show that people, who are immature, to the point of being irresponsible, should learn how to grow up and accept the fact that they’re growing up and need to become adults.

On the other hand, Peter is special to Taeyeon, since he was the first that she actually harmed. It makes him innocent on another level and deeply affects the way Taeyeon sees humans. Peter’s death is something that Taeyeon accepts responsibility for, though never meant to actually hurt him, and even makes her believe that Peter will be the last mortal she will ever love. While it’s important to remember the past, as previously said, it’s also important to move on. If you aren’t able to, you might miss out on someone like Tiffany, who loves you and is willing to shoulder your baggage with you. One must have self-respect and self-love before thinking about loving someone else.

Taeyeon + Cousins (not including Nero):

I started writing this story during winter break and every year, I meet with my family on Christmas Eve to celebrate the holidays. You could say that each of the cousins I created were based off of my own, but I honestly believe that there is someone like each of them in every family (cousins or not). The black sheep, the one without a filter, the guy who’s always busy, the conceited one, etc. There are always times where you’re going to hate your family and wish that sometimes you had something different. But there’s always something that connects you to them: blood and you can’t get rid of the blood you share. You might not always be the closest friends or relatives they have, but you’re all family, and that fact should be enough to bring you together.

Taeyeon’s cousins had imprisoned her on the island and torture her emotionally by introducing the different mortals, but when presented with the opportunity to regain their trust and join, she forgets her displeasure. Because they’re all immortals, Taeyeon knows that she has to mend her relationship with each of her cousins if she wants to live in peace. Her cousins also know that Taeyeon is the strongest amongst them and trust her to make responsible decisions. Having also ostracized her father and other aunts and uncles, Taeyeon craves a family with good relations and continuously hoped to please and get along with her cousins, finding them the sure way of keeping company.

Taeyeon + Nero:

The two cousins are often noted to be the most powerful duo within the Neaimos and also have a very close bond, enough to be suspected of living together by the Exovasis. Technically Taeyeon’s “replacement”, Nero is also the acting Neaimos Ruler during her imprisonment. He often looks after Taeyeon and is said to be the gentlest with her. He gives her hints and encouragement to find a solution to leave the island without giving the answer to her. Though he doesn’t appear often in the story, Taeyeon held Nero’s words close and put immense trust and faith into this particular cousin. Often times, she thinks of things he would do or things he has said to guide her. There was a Japanese proverb that says, when translated to English, “one kind word can warm three winter months” and I’m someone that can truly relate to this saying. I wanted Nero to personify kindness and care. Despite being a war god, Nero is shown to be warm and well-dressed, contracting his position in a similar way Tiffany does. Because they share similarities, it’s possible that Taeyeon subconsciously holds her lover to a standard similar to the god.

Taeyeon + Tiffany:

Trust is something hard to give to a person 100% of the time. Taeyeon, in the beginning, didn’t trust Tiffany at all. After her experiences with mortals and the constant heart break, she believed that all people that washed up on her island would come with the purpose of hurting her. This was previously mentioned, but learning to trust people is something that others need to do. Even if you truly felt that people can’t be trusted, there’s always someone there who wants to earn your trust and who will prove to be reliable. Loneliness is a crippling feeling, I know, but it’s your responsibility to cure that loneliness.

A majority of people will have more than one relationship (on average 5 – 6) and not being able to accept your significant other’s ex-lovers is a major setback. Tiffany is no doubt on the lower side of the scale while Taeyeon has had more than the average number of relationships, so her discomfort is reasonable. Tiffany, however, has major insecurities especially since her past relationship ended due to the other girl’s reluctance to confirm her uality. Some people believe that actions speak louder than words, but I believe that you need a helping of both. You can’t say things and never act on them but you can’t always respond to another’s words with action.

Going into the armed forces is a big decision. This past quarter, I took a class about U.S history, which included the involvement of different wars such as both World Wars and the Vietnam War. I found it very confusing how some people didn’t want to go into the military and sought ways to get out of enlisting, even if they were being drafted. I thought it was very cowardly for people to hide and brag about how they managed to escape service, especially since a relative of mine served in the Vietnam War. I know that people nowadays also join the armed forces so that their college education will be paid for, like my cousin is doing, but they’re not prepared for when it becomes their time to serve. My cousin openly told me that she had joined the National Guard so they would pay for her education, but is also ready to shoulder the responsibilities being a soldier. While I understand that it can be scary, I feel like people take the money and title for granted sometimes.

Nowadays, people are popularizing the idea of a “strong woman”: a girl that knows how to handle herself and make her own decisions instead of relying on another. The problem: not all women are strong. Taeyeon and Tiffany are both struggling to be strong, but in reality are very weak-hearted. While the society continues to put their energy into being strong women or find strong women, there are those who simply aren’t strong. Instead of saying that it doesn’t matter if a woman is strong or not, women who are weak are seen as pitiful and pathetic. As a citizen of the modern world, Tiffany is afraid of being seen in that negative light, and built her career and personality to hide the fact that she was soft. Taeyeon had always been weak when it came to her past, lovers and family included. Her emotions had a heavy hand in her decisions, but she was ashamed of not being able to hold together. When the two meet, Tiffany sees it as an opportunity to let someone know her true self and Taeyeon sees it as a way to rebuild her control. They both find it hard to change their ways, especially in the end, but manage to balance each other out and give the other what they need.

I used to think that you had to know everything about someone before you could marry them, but now, I don’t think that’s the case anymore. There are so many factors that shape a person and their life, it’d be hard to truly know and truly understand someone 100% of the time. So now, I believe that there is only one thing you need to know and that’s if you can live with that person for the rest of your life. The criteria for such a position will be different for everyone and you’ll need to know some other things before you can make a decision, but that, I believe, is the ultimate question.

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{Fun Facts}

1.     This story idea first came to me in a dream, but in that dream, instead of an island it was more like a floating box and I had lost my memory which was regained after accidentally cutting myself on a late lover’s pocket knife, it was really weird. I felt that writing that out would be a little complicated and altered the idea on paper.

2.     The title of the story, To the Middle of Nowhere, is not only supposed to hint at the fact that Taeyeon’s island is literally in the middle of nowhere but also represents that point you come to when making decisions where you have no idea what to do.

3.     When I was coming up with more layers to the story, I wanted a biblical connection. At the same time, I was also thinking about a name for Taeyeon’s father. The name “Lisous” was after a lot of ideas and a lot of Google Translate, it’s basically the phonetic spelling of “Jesus” in Greek. I tried to give hints, especially when Taeyeon said that he ‘descended from Heaven’, but I don’t know how many people made the connection. To me, I also think that Lisous sounds similar to Lucifer and basically tried to connect all three into one person. I hope I offended no one with that reference; I’m religious as well so I just wanted to have some fun with it.

4.     At first Tiffany was supposed to be married and Taeyeon was going to find a ring in her pocket, but I suddenly thought of my dad (who served in the U.S Navy) and how my mom would remember how scared she’d been when he was deployed. I decided then that she would be a CMC.

5.     ia is home to the largest naval base in the world (Naval Station Norfolk) which is why I stationed Tiffany there.

6.     Some of Taeyeon’s past lovers are based off of historical figures: Alex aka Alexander the Great/Paris, Han aka General Han Xin, and Yi aka Henry Pu Yi. Peter was also supposed to be Peter Pan, though he’s not a historical figure.

7.     Neaimos: combination of the Greek words for young (neós) and hot-blooded (thermóaimos).

8.     Exovasis: combination of the Greek words for power (exousía) and bases (váseis).