It's been a few days since Bobby and B.I had their conversation. Bobby still feels uneasy but he understands how B.I. felt then and knows he also feels as uneasy as he does. Even if he wanted to start a relationship with B.I, being an Idol made it hard for any of them. No matter how close they wanted to be they only became further apart in the public's eyes. Yet they managed to stick together for those short hours of privacy, they made time for each other, supported one another and always showed off their skinship and intimacy between the two of them. By the time the went on various variety shows they got used to hiding their relationship in front of everyone except their members.

     B.I grew out of his depression and was more excited than most to be on weekly idol and to finally meet his own personal idol - hyungdon. Eventually Bobby became B.I's number one crutch to support him, and glad that he had was finally out of his stupor. Deciding that while he was on the show he would make sure B.I got the chance to really get to meet his idol and remained for the most part silent on the show. 

 Still wanting some attention from his [boyfriend] leader he tried to be as 'cute' and pretty as he could manage although he would probably deny any of it if anyone ever said that he did it for attention. Clearly that was the case and he still couldn't hide it. Thanks to being in the group for quite sometime he was used to, but he sometimes couldn't help himself to hide anything - rather he would behave strangely. He had become more feminine, and damn it if he had to tell himself in his usual way, rappers were not feminine... but when B.I was near him or just in his line of sight he felt over-whemed by his masculinity and become the quiet, shy, and submissive guy he is now. 

How could hide something when their brain screamed guilt at everything he tried to hide. His subconscious only made things in his actions louder, clearer and more obvious, that he was dating his best friend and band mate... ahghahg.

   Eventually the episode came out, B.I let out a cute laugh - grunted and looked at Bobby. He thought he was so cute, yet he never ceased his admiration over hyungdon.

 "You seem so cute  girly hyung" Junhoe said pointing at Bobby.

"No, they just cut out a lot of my part- I wasn't being very funn-- sh-shut up--" Bobby barked, plain embarrassment written all over his face.

"I think he's just an adorably cute guy!" B.I. said grabbing and holding Bobby's hand. 

"Psh.. - no." Bobby sputtered. 

Jinhwan glanced between Bobby and B.I then looked back at the tv. Bobby was turning red and running along the wall behind everyone out of pure embarrassment, which in all its context of the show (weekly Idol) was honestly one of the funniest things hes seen on TV in a long time. He started to break out into fits of laughter, "y-you gh-guys ar-ar-are super ohu-obvious ahaha- about your re-relationship you know!" He squealed, tears forming in his eyes from laughing so hard.

Bobby started to take his hand back from B.I only to have B.I hold onto it tighter, "What's your point?" He demanded. Jinhwan stopped laughing -" Nothing, but I had hoped you guys would act just like you used to, sitting next to one another ike you're doing right now, telling jokes and flirting in public. Now -- Now you try to stay away from each other and hide it, what's the point in doing that?"

B.I just sat there, stunned. Bobby let go of his hand and turned to look at him as if to question him too. Bobby knows that B.I still holds the same fear he did when his father put him in a poor situation, a tough situation, yet that was a while ago. In all he was beginning to feel abandoned by B.I.

"....it does make it seem - at least to our fans that we are no longer close... maybe not even friends- I-is that the kind of image you want them to have of us?"Bobby wondered, tears threatening to fall, it made him feel weak. 

"Bobby-that's-no" Hanbin [aka B.I] hesitated. 

"Then explain it." Jinhwan replied - more of a middle-man in the conversation.

"it-It's hard to explain," Hanbin said exasperated.

"Try." Bobby demanded - he looked at the ring on his pinky finger, fidgeting with it due to the overwhelming anxiety he felt boiling in his stomach.

"Bobby I-I really want to! But- I cant..." Hanbin said loosing confidence.

Bobby stood up, the ring now off of his finger and on the floor, -he felt- he felt betrayed. Hanbin promised - he had freaking promised and now- now WhAt? Bobby started to walk to his room, Hanbin grabbed his arm but Bobby shook it off not saying anything. Panic began to take a hold entirely of B.I's insides. He stood up and followed after Bobby. Bobby was grabbing anything and everything that was his, "Jinhwan, can I stay in your room?"

Hanbin grabbed for Bobby's shoulder, again Bobby just shrugged him off. Out of pure frustration he pushed Bobby forward and when he stumbled he turned Bobby to face him. By this time Jinhwan had walked to the doorway of the room- yet he has not answered Bobby's question.

"Bobby!" Hanbin yelled, "I said I can't tell you, not because I don't want to!" Bobby froze for a brief second and then pushed B.I off of him.

"Until you tell me, whether it happens or not - I am not going to stay in the same room as you! Out there you act like I hardly exist! I can't stand it anymore," Bobby screamed. Jinhwan grabbed Bobby and took him outside of their room. 

"Go to my room - I will bring your stuff there. B.I don't you dare do anything - you've been doing that anyways, so it shouldn't be to difficult for you." Bobby waked away and B.I started to collapse mentally. He did the one thing he promised he wouldn't do, after everything, he had done way more than just f*** up. Not only did they act distant in public, but its forced them apart for real in the dorms.

Clearly life decided to never give any of them a clear break. Even a moment of happiness in everyday life was utterly crushed. It was an unending endeavor that seemed to never end. B.I was sick of it. He wanted nothing more than to have Bobby by his side. Yet once agai something decided he didn't deserve any happiness in life. The room became emptier, quieter and colder than it ever was. B.I sat in his bed, no sound could be heard in the dorm yet his tears had not stopped for hours after what happened when the the void of Bobby not being there was tearing him apart internally. By the time they needed to go to the next days schedule B.I had not slept at all, his eyes were red, puffy, strained and tired. Compared to what happened with his own father he would say that this was much more worse than that. 

His mind filled with apologies, rerunning through what had happened - what he said versus what he should of said. It had gotten so bad to the point where he was lost- he forget choreography, he mumbled through his lyrics. Just anything even remotely connected to Ikon was lost among his torturing and berating thoughts of how he had done nothing for Bobby. He felt like - he felt his head ache because of all of the thoughts filling his head- then there was sudden nauseous. Suddenly bright lights were shinned on him, he saw white, then it all faded and went black.

-Hanbin woke up in the dorm, and Bobby was there. He felt so comforted knowing that Bobby would help him get through this issue with his father. Even if being a leader seemed tiring, Bobby truly gave him strength. Eventually Bobby got under the covers and promised he'd be by me to help me get through this. I felt so relieved about our schedule tomorrow.

It has been four days. Four days since Hanbin had lost consciousness. The doctors believe it was due to an overwhelming shock. They fear the worst, which I pray that its nothing they over imagine it to be. One moment he seemed fine, then he was lost in thought. His eyes suddenly became hazy and then whe the lights to begin our performance he passed out. Nothing like stage fright, no it was something else.

Outside the door I kept hearing words like - shock - coma - brain dead - don't know how long- and I hated every single one of them. Yet Hanbin never even moved a finger while he was out of it, and it scared me. I often held his hand, by the fifth day there was a response, he tightened his hand on mine and -"Bobby" - faintly passed his lips. I jumped from my seat and yelled for the nurse. 

A women eventually came in and asked what had happened to make me yell like that. I grabbed his hand again and he tightened his fingers and louder said "Bobby!" His eyes shot open and he sat up, sweat staining his forehead. He looked at me and then around. He seemed so lost. "Ey? Bobby... Why are we in a hospital??? Were- weren't we at the dorms? Why am I here? No... we cant be! Don't we have a show to be on? Running man right" B.I said freaking out and pulling at the cords attached to the machine.

"Running Man?" I said in utter confusion. "N-nooo, we had a concert, you have been out of it for four days."

"What? concert? what craziness are you spewing?! Don't you remember the CEO said we were going on Running man, you volunteered to go with me!" B.I was confused and sweating profusely, that's when Bobby figured out what in the hell he was talking about. 

He grabbed the nurse and took her out into the hallway. "What hes talking about happened almost a year and a half ago!!" Bobby whispered. The nurse did not understand what that had to do with anything and then it hit her too, "Amnesia?!" she said shocked.

Clearly B.I was going to be in the hospital a bit longer, but the doctor would try to help with him as much as he could and figure ot what they could do,  if by then he still didn't remember he told them to fix up the dorm to look like it did at that time, which meant Bobby would need to put his things back in Hanbin's room. Suddenly things seemed more complicated and difficult to deal with compared to the year they actually had experienced.

-To be continued...