Hanbin’s POV

-I… I ran, I ran-and ran and ran. As far away as I could possibly get. What was I supposed to do? I wanted to silence the voices that spewed hateful and evil words into my head. The lies, the pain it is too much. Bobby tries to help I know it, but why? Why do they all rely on me, I am not capable of the things they think I am. It is more than just creators block, no, no, no… Not only is it a part of me, the music, the raps it all comes from somewhere. A lost memory, a beaten past of the pain and troubles I went through. No one listens, just take a chance to stop and listen to the-

After some time I realized I was still running yet I had not stopped to breathe…. I should find somewhere to sit… Luckily I was right next to the park. Surprisingly it was empty, it is almost never empty. When it was Bobby and I would come here from dance practice, or take a long deserved break after writing lyrics and beats. The walk from the studio was not all that far and we loved to talk about how our impossible dream practically came true after the darkness we found just a smidge of light that guided us here. Okay, so that didn’t make as much sense as I thought it would…

I walked around the park, memories fading in and out of different moments I spent with Bobby or the other members here. I loved this park, the serenity of it brought me peace. I could feel the remnants of my fallen tears, what I assumed was traces from the crying fit I had when I ran from the café… The bitter cold biting at the wet stains on my cheeks. I wiped at my face trying to get any trace of what happened to go away. As I did that I found the only bench in the park, it was made and donated by a couple who broke up a while back, they wanted people to sit here, write their memories whether it was literally on the bench or figuratively, some poetic type of thing. They were the romantic types.

Bobby’s POV

I spent a good 15 minutes running till I came to the park. Hanbin was sitting on the only bench in the park, from what he told me a couple that broke up put it here. Not sure who but I think he knew them. I could see him harshly wiping away the tears that stained his face. He was so far gone he did not even notice I was here. I know this place means a lot to him, and with what happened I didn’t want to make matters worse… but we must talk eventually, right?

I walked to the bench, and of course, I sat next to him. He looked at me with a brief look of surprise but then he turned toward the ground.

“Hey…” I said.

“Hi- “Hanbin said, his voice breaking. Jeez, all that crying did not do him any good.

We sat in silence for a while, not necessarily a bad one, just silence. I wanted to relax, with him. Not worry about our next album. Not freak out about what time it is or what schedule we need to go to. No, I just wanted to sit here with the person I love. Does he have any clue how much I care about him?

I took a shallow breath; I could feel myself shake. If I was going to ask about this I had to make sure he did not have another chance to run away. I grabbed his hand, tightly

“Hanbin, talk to me. And don’t you dare try to run away from this? I am here. It is not just you, but that doesn’t mean you are pressured. It’s us, its life, okay?” I said, trying to coax anything from him, even the simplest of sentences.

“Bobby, I can’t,” Hanbin said.

I was confused, Desperately confused…. I mean I was so far on the scale of confused that I needed and wanted to know what in the world he meant.

“Hanbin?” I said.

“I can’t do it anymore. The stress… There is pressure, I am suffocating. I know they give us the freedom with music, but I just can’t follow the demands. It is my music, my lyrics. They are afraid of what type of controversies it will bring up because of what they mean, they change it and I allow it…. But it’s not mine. I can’t anymore. I give up, I quit. What is the point?” Hanbin yells. He is beyond sadness, now he is angry, the anxiety is eating at him and, am I helping him at all?

“What? Then write it, don’t let them change it. If they don’t like it then screw them. Who the hell are they to change you? But please don’t do this to yourself, it was your dream.” I replied in a calm voice.

“My dream? I had so many dreams. Was it not our dream, did you only follow me? What the hell man! I don’t want them to change it, I want to release it as it is. Do you know what I am afraid of? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE SONGS ARE ABOUT?!! No, you don’t. I know you hear them when they are finished, the final changed product but you just don’t listen!” Hanbin yelled.

He stood up, snatching his hand away from me. He looked from here to there, trying to find the best route to make another run for it. Like hell I was going to allow him to run from this again. He started to walk away slowly increasing his pace, but I caught him, I grabbed his arm before he could get too far. The next thing I knew he whipped around yelled something inaudible to me and hit me right in the face. I fell, the pain was barrable but damn if it didn’t hurt. It was a sharp pain, but there was also a twitchy feeling as if my face was being poked with needles. I pushed myself up from the ground and grabbed Hanbin.

He tried to get away, flailing his arms and legs. I pushed him to the ground and pinned his hands. He was breathing hard. Trying to do anything he could to get me off. He eventually gave up, “Ow.” I said.

He looked at me, finally calming down and relaxing a bit more than previously. “sorry,” he replied.

“No, you’re not. Hanbin, you’re right- I have heard your song and- “I breathed, Hanbin getting ready to retaliate or speak in some way so I tried to speak quicker, “I know okay. I know that those songs are for me, you don’t want to admit it out loud but I know. Why do you think I came to find you, why do you think I was there with you through anything and everything? Yes, I followed you on your path to becoming a rapper, but I love it too. It is my dream now, because of you I found something alright. Goddamn it Hanbin I love you.” I confessed.

He went completely still, tension filling his body. “Y-you love me!” Hanbin choked out. He tried to move but again I held him in place.

“Let me come to you, why do you always need to be the one to find me?” I chuckled. I lowered myself until I finally found his cold soft lips beneath mine. I let go of his arm, luckily he was no longer fighting, and I placed my hand on the side of his face. Okay so clearly he was telling the truth about never dating anyone before, but damn he was a great kisser. I started to sit back up when Hanbin started to whine, which of course just aroused me more than I already was. “Boy, I swear,” I mumbled.

“Fine, but will you get off me? I am lying flat on mud…. Man, my clothes!” He whined. I giggled and objected, “You punched me here first so hush. Let’s go back to the dorms okay. We will talk more, but lets at least get some food for the others. We have been gone too long and knowing them they are going to think we had or something.” I sighed.

“Well, why not?” Hanbin questioned.

“WHAT!” I choked. “Just come on- “I sighed out of annoyance sitting up and grabbing his hand pulling him up.

“I am only joking jeez, let’s go. I need a shower because of you.” Hanbin hummed.

-To Be Continued-