Two

Hidden in a Distance

On the tenth day, it was Kai who gave Sehun a phone call. Sehun was a bit surprised because his best friend usually didn’t want to spend load.

“What’s on?” Sehun’s tone was high, enthusiastic to know why Kai suddenly initiated a call.

“I want to share something,” Kai’s eyes flickered on his surroundings, and he kept his voice low so no one could hear but Sehun.

“What?”

Kai breathed heavily, his index finger sliding on his lower lip as his eyes turned crescent-shaped. “Guess what…” he tried to suspend his best friend’s curiosity with a long pause, “I had my first kiss.”

“What?” he snickered.

“I had my first kiss,” he repeated, cheeks turning red, “with Kyungsoo.”

The next words of Kai entered Sehun’s ears. Sehun listened to the details how it happened, and he let out some chuckle-sounding noise from his throat. Kai kept on speaking, leaving Sehun no space to speak out his thoughts. Kai sounded really happy, it seemed he liked it, and Sehun put down the call in the midst of his best friend’s story.

Sehun stared off in the space, his sight getting blurred with the forming water in his eyes. The way Kai talked about Kyungsoo, the way he kept sharing things about Kyungsoo…were giving him hard punches in the heart.

 

Kyungsoo, meanwhile, couldn’t even concentrate listening to his favorite songs. That moment kept repeating in his head, and he felt like he was going crazy. He removed his earphones and hit his own head again and again. He grabbed the blanket and hid under it, shaking his head wildly to stop his replaying kiss with Kai under the rain.

--

 

Their father asked them out to the market so they could see how Sangju’s market looked like.

“What will we ride on?” Kyungsoo inquired.

Their father pointed at the motorcycle. It was an old one, looking like it would break once seated on. But he assured it was all safe and they could still reach the pretty far market. “Come, hop on!” he burned the engine up, and the teammates looked at each other.

“Uhm…” Kyungsoo put his fingers on his lips. “We’ll all hop there?”

“Yeah. You both can fit here,” their father said.

Kyungsoo gulped; Kai cleared his throat. Kyungsoo hopped on first, and Kai went on last. The motor accelerated and their hearts were beating fast, not just because they did not trust the motor, but also because of the butterflies in their hearts. Kai’s hands were on Kyungsoo’s shoulders, and he smiled because he was so close to Kyungsoo that he could feel his teammate’s .

Meanwhile, Kyungsoo was turning his head left and right, looking at the fields they were passing by. Actually, he wanted to see Kai’s face, even just at his peripheral view. He was blushing because he could feel Kai too close to him, and…he could feel his teammate’s bouncing .

 

When they got to the market, they examined each other and saw how destroyed their appearance were. Their clothes were visibly dusty, their faces had much dirt, and their hairs were in mess. Kyungsoo, being a clean freak, saw that to happen beforehand, so he had his mirror in his bag. He fixed himself before they move on.

Kai waited for his turn for the mirror, and it took a while before he could have it. As he looked at his reflection, Kyungsoo’s hands were even faster than his in fixing his face.

“Yah, look at these, I’ll remove them.” Kyungsoo had his sharp eyes as he looked at Kai’s face. He wiped Kai’s cheeks with his hanky, picked up falling eyelashes stuck under his eyes, and wiped off the oil and sweat on his forehead. He also brushed Kai’s messy hair, fixing it sideways until it looked neat.

“There, looking better,” Kyungsoo beamed at him.

Kyungsoo walked forward while Kai couldn’t move a foot from his place, speechless with what Kyungsoo did for him.

--

 

Kai didn’t really have anything to buy. He just drove to the market, not knowing what to do there. He parked his car on the side of the street. As he moved out of the car, the meat vendor quickly recognized him. “Kai!”

Kai looked around, and he beamed as he saw him waving his hand. “Ahjussi! Long time no see,” he greeted him with a high five.

The vendor looked at Kai from head to toe. “Whoa,” his lips parted, “you look like a big time! And you’ve really matured!”

Kai chuckled, uttering a shy, “thank you,” before the old man.

“Oh,” the man remarked, seeing the logo beside the plate number of Kai’s car. “You’re a doctor now?”

“Yes,” was his swift reply.

“By the way, where’s your partner? The petite big-eyed man? What’s his name again?”

The spread of Kai’s lips was gradually erased.  There came a sudden pang in him, because Kyungsoo promised before that they would go back here together. He displayed a smile nevertheless as he answered, “His name is Kyungsoo. He passed away years ago.”

--

 

Kai grabbed his DSLR and went out to take photos of the field. It was the golden hour, the perfect time to take photos, and Kai couldn’t miss such opportunity.

Kyungsoo found it so boring to stay inside the house, and no, he didn’t necessarily want to watch Kai take photos. But somehow, yes, he just wanted to see Kai and observe him for the afternoon.

Kai really loved taking photos. Back when he was in high school, he got an award for being best in photography. Whenever Kai held his camera, he felt so happy, and it was a different kind of happiness that only photography could give him. He took photos of the grass, of the flowers, or the cows, chickens, hills, the sky, and all things he could capture…even Kyungsoo.

“Kyungsoo! Look at the camera!” he yelled, and Kyungsoo followed with a wonderful smile.

The yellow brilliance of the sunlight was perfect, and Kai was proud for taking a very good photo of his teammate. He captured different angles of him, on different places within the area, and it became some sort of a photoshoot of memories in that place.

“Yah, look, they’re beautiful,” Kai commented as he let Kyungsoo see the photos he took. Kyungsoo got delighted with the great quality of them, and so he got the urge to borrow the camera to take photos too.

Kyungsoo didn’t know that a DSLR was that heavy. Well, not too heavy, but it made his neck and hands hurt a bit. Kyungsoo walked further to find some good angles, but he only pouted when he looked at the photo he took; it was not as good as Kai’s. “Kai!” he called, pouting while finding the way to delete his photos.

“Yes?” Kai approached and he jerked when Kyungsoo was about to press a wrong button. “Yah! Not that!”

“How do you delete then?”

“Okay, look here.” Kai went closer to Kyungsoo, his hand assisting Kyungsoo with the camera while his fingers point at the right buttons. “When you delete, you click these. Then, when you want to take photos again, you click here…”

Kyungsoo nodded with the directions; his mind was busy absorbing what Kai was teaching. Kai’s palms were on Kyungsoo’s hands, and he was so close that he could feel the warmth of Kai’s body. Kyungsoo looked up to peek at the tall male’s face, and Kyungsoo concluded how wonderful this moment was.

The sun was about to rest behind the hills, and so before it could rest, Kyungsoo wanted to capture the sun’s majesty. Kai watched Kyungsoo from behind as his teammate took photos of the sunset, and he smiled because Kyungsoo looked so cute. Afterwards, Kyungsoo turned to him, pouting, because he was again not satisfied with his photos.

“Kai,” he said softly, and his tone was that of asking for a favor. “Can you teach me how to take good photos?”

Kai beamed with Kyungsoo’s request. Of course he could, and so he let Kyungsoo face the sunset again. Kai went behind Kyungsoo, supporting Kyungsoo’s hands on the camera, his arms around Kyungsoo, his head beside Kyungsoo’s, and he started to fulfill his request.

“Look here,” he whispered, clicking some buttons to adjust the lens. The air from his mouthed tickled Kyungsoo’s ears, and his voice was deep, it was music to Kyungsoo. The camera displayed a three by three grid, and he taught Kyungsoo the rule of thirds. “When you take a photo, it would be awkward to put your subject at the center. If you could see the grid, your subject must be on the intersecting points of the lines.”

Kai demonstrated by making the hill first as his subject. “Click the button,” he told Kyungsoo, and the camera displayed the photo Kyungsoo just took.

“Whoa!” Kyungsoo grinned, proud of the beautiful angle of the photo he clicked at.

“Wanna take some more?” Kai asked, and Kyungsoo nodded in much agreement.

And so Kai focused on the camera once again, assisting Kyungsoo’s hands in getting the perfect angle, and when everything was perfect, he told Kyungsoo, “click now.”

Kyungsoo was in awe; so did Kai, seeing how he could make Kyungsoo smile.

“But there are times that the subject is better if it’s at the center,” Kai shared, and he took the sun as his subject to demonstrate.

“Look,” Kai said, “The two hills seem symmetrical and the sun was perfectly in between them. Focus on the symmetry now, emphasize the sunlight; meaning, make the sky a bigger portion of the photo. Now, click.”

Finally, Kyungsoo got the angle he was looking for. He was so glad, he felt so satisfied, and he couldn’t help but turn to Kai and say, “Thank you, Kai.”

They were face to face, only a centimeter as their distance, and Kai’s arms were still around Kyungsoo, not even wanting to let go.

“You’re welcome,” Kai replied, and their smiles were warmer than the sunset.

When the sun had finally rested, they looked up seeing the stars start to shine.

--

 

For the succeeding nights, Kai and Kyungsoo would always sit on the bamboo bench outside. The green field in the day was black now, and there was just the moonlight and the stars shining to let them see each other.

“Tired?” Kyungsoo asked, having a cup of water to offer to his partner.

“A bit,” Kai answered, “How about you?”

“A bit too, but it was fun. We had a productive day.”

Kai nodded in understanding. Seeing the wide space in front of them, Kai got an idea, “wanna lie down on the grass?”

Kyungsoo hesitated, but he couldn’t do anything anymore because Kai grabbed his wrist and pulled him down the grass.

As they lied down, Kyungsoo couldn’t even utter a word in awe, because all he could see were countless stars shining brighter than ever. They were all over him, and it was as if they were so near. And then he looked at the moon, and its silver light reflected on his eyes. He never expected how the sky could be so beautiful in this kind of view.

 “See? It’s beautiful,” Kai whispered, and Kyungsoo couldn’t agree more.

“Yeah…so wonderful,” was his soft reply.

In the city, the stars couldn’t be as bright as how they were seeing them now. City lights were always letting the stars shine less, that the other stars couldn’t even be seen anymore.

“Wow…really…wow,” Kai muttered.

Kyungsoo nodded, “yeah…wow…”

Minutes of silence and wonder passed, until they got in a short conversation.

“Those silver lights above us…are the reasons why I’m living each day,” Kai shared.

Kyungsoo looked at him, their faces just centimeters away, and Kyungsoo realized that beside him was a star too. “And why?” was his question to the star.

“Because they give light to our world. Even at the smallest way possible, those silver stars let us see their light. Without them, what can be so beautiful in this night?”

Maybe me? Kyungsoo thought, and he cringed to himself for having such thought.

“And…” Kai added, “those stars tell us, that even in darkness, there is hope. So when things get so tough in life, I just remember the message of those little silver things above us. And then, I work hard again.”

So, you are that deep, Kyungsoo learned. “What about the moon?”

“The moon?” Kai moved his eyes to him. “Well…the moon is the reason why I can see you tonight.”

--

 

The next night, as they quietly stared at the sky, they saw a falling star.

“Oh! Did you see that?” Kai yelped and he pointed at the direction where the star fell.

“Yeah!” Kyungsoo exclaimed.

Kyungsoo gazed at Kai, having a question in his mind which he expected Kai to answer with deep words again. “Where does a falling star go when it falls?”

“Hmm…” Kai replied, and it took long seconds of silence for him. In the end, he shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Kai seemed to lose his creative juices tonight, and he was drained from the work earlier, that he just asked Kyungsoo to go inside.

Kai actually had his answer. Yes, a falling star simply disappears, but its wonder remains in a person’s heart. Nevertheless, he just kept that to himself.

--

 

Today’s agenda was to interview the people on the upland. Kai and Kyungsoo would also research on the difference in lifestyle and condition between the upland and lowland residents. Together with their father, they rode the motorcycle to reach the foot of the hill.

As they reached the foot, Kyungsoo asked Kai a favor. “Can you carry my bag?”

“Sure,” Kai reached for Kyungsoo’s backpack and he wondered why Kyungsoo was still letting him carry when it was not that heavy.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo muttered, “I am trying to save energy. I have health issues.”

 

Kyungsoo couldn’t concentrate in the interview. He left Kai speaking to the people, while he went to sit beside the nearby tree. He was sweating a lot, lips getting gray, face getting paler, and he was catching his breath.

Kai hurried to finish the interview. He quickly packed up the camera and recorder and ran to Kyungsoo.

“Kyung, it’s done,” he said behind, seeing Kyungsoo’s head resting on the trunk. When he patted his hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, Kyungsoo’s body lost the balance. Kai caught him from falling, and he almost yelled seeing Kyungsoo pale and unconscious.

“Yah, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo,” he patted his face and there was no response. “Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo!”

The people circled around them and one man offered them to be in his house for a while. Kai carried Kyungsoo inside and when he laid him down on the bed, he trembled and kept calling his name.

The man brought a basin of water and Kai grabbed it from him.

“Kyungsoo, wake up, wake up,” he begged as he kept on patting and wiping him with the cloth. The people around were as clueless as he was on what to do. There was no hospital in the area. There was even no clinic or health worker. It needed two to three hours of travel before they could reach a small hospital at the sub-urb.

As Kai shuddered around, Kyungsoo opened his eyes, and softly, he uttered, “Kai…”

“Kyungsoo!” Kai examined every part of his body, trying to know where he possibly got hurt. “What the happened?!”

Kyungsoo sat, assisted by Kai, and he was still losing his balance. “I’m okay now.”

“Okay? You still look pale and you’re okay?” and Kai made him lie down again.

Kai had so many questions at the moment. What really happened? When did he feel bad? Why didn’t he tell him? Why was he silent? Where did he get hurt? But he decided to keep it all to him just to make Kyungsoo rest more.

Kyungsoo stood up after a long while, and Kai couldn’t separate himself from Kyungsoo. He always stayed either beside or behind, so when if ever Kyungsoo would fall again, he would be there catch him. They were already going down the hill, and every step Kyungsoo was taking disturbed Kai so much.

“Kyungsoo, stop,” he commanded as he blocked his way. Kyungsoo wasn’t that pale anymore, yet Kai couldn’t help it. He knelt on the ground, his back in front of Kyungsoo. “Ride on my back. I’ll carry you.”

Kyungsoo just stood, hesitating, and after saying, “I can walk,” he proceeded forward.

Kai gently gripped Kyungsoo’s wrist, still kneeling, “Just…ride on my back. Please?”

Seeing how Kai knelt on the floor, and how he gripped his wrist, and how sincere his voice was, Kyungsoo relented.

 

“I told you I can walk,” Kyungsoo uttered while Kai stretched his back for a short break.

Kai gazed at him, as if controlling his temper on Kyungsoo, and this time he began to ask. “Tell me, Kyungsoo, what was wrong earlier?”

Kyungsoo bowed to the ground, his fingers fidgeting, and he took a deep breath, “I’m sorry. I thought I could do it.”

“Could do what?” said Kai, furrowing his brows.

“I’m sorry. My lungs are weak, I can’t endure tiresome activities.”

Kai put his hands on his waist. “You know it. You know your condition,” his voice was low.

Kyungsoo nodded.

“And you didn’t tell me…”

Kyungsoo nodded.

“And you joined climbing all the way up here…”

Again, Kyungsoo nodded.

Kai grinded his teeth, trying to hold himself back. He gave up with the temper seconds later. “What the hell is wrong with you, huh? You know that there is no hospital here. There is nothing here! Did you even think that you could die here? What the is wrong with you?!”

Kyungsoo’s tears were on the verge of falling, and his throat clogged that he couldn’t utter a word. He couldn’t look at Kai, because there was already a tear that fell and he wouldn’t let Kai see.

“Answer me!” Kai bellowed.

When Kyungsoo looked up, he struggled for words, his tears still flowing. “We were supposed to do the work together.”

Kai put his hands down his waist, his grinding teeth lost the tension, and his heart broke seeing Kyungsoo cry. He couldn’t speak. He was guilty.

“I’m sorry,” sobbed Kyungsoo, and he walked down.

“Wait, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo…” Kai hurried toward him. He wanted to hold him, to say sorry and to ask him to ride on his back again, but he halted everything. He held back, kept silent, and walked behind him.

--

 

“I had pneumonia for about seven times already, and then I am asthmatic too. And I don’t exercise that much so basically I am frail. I actually like singing because it’s quite friendly to my lungs,” explained Kyungsoo while they were cooking breakfast, and Kai didn’t talk to hear more from him.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with my lungs. But I live anyway. And maybe I got used to being alone at home so it’s my instinct to keep it to myself, even if I’m under attack.”

Kai had nothing to say. He just put some more wood to set the fire bigger, and then he reached for the onions Kyungsoo sliced.

“How about you? What’s your history?”

“Me?” he sighed, “Well, I have waist and back problem, maybe I broke them while I was dancing.”

“You have a back problem?”

“Yes,” Kai affirmed.

“Then…” Kyungsoo’s brows met. “Why did you insist to carry me yesterday?”

That question made Kai halt sautéing, and he realized how that didn’t even enter his mind. Maybe he was in pain yesterday, but he forgot because it was for someone. He realized at this very moment that he had totally forgotten it.

“It didn’t hurt because you were too light,” smirked Kai.

They smiled, and Kyungsoo just wanted to express how lucky he was. “You know what, Kai, you’re a really good friend.”

Kai’s smile turned into a beam, and he praised back in exchange. “You too. You’re such a nice friend.”

 

At the bed, Kai kept on touching Kyungsoo’s neck and forehead, “your fever’s really high. It seems you got so tired yesterday.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes were closed, and he was beginning to shiver. He held Kai’s hands, “I feel cold,” he faintly uttered.

Kai grabbed a blanket on the cabinet, spread it wide and put it on Kyungsoo. He fixed it well on him, making sure that no part of his body gets exposed. “There, feeling warmer?”

Kyungsoo nodded, his teeth grinding as he wrinkled the blanket with his clenched fists.

Kai spread his things on the floor and searched for the paracetamol. He then went to the well outside, grabbed a basin and poured water until it was full. And then he went to the kitchen and got a glass of water while he had the basin hooked by his arm at his waist.

When he got back to the room, he put his hand on Kyungsoo’s nape, assisting him to take his medicine.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo whispered.

Kai got his small towel, dipped it on the water and wiped it on Kyungsoo’s face. He dipped it again when it got warm from absorbing Kyungsoo’s heat, and Kai wiped Kyungsoo’s arms and hands, and then he touched his neck and forehead again to see if his fever got lower.

“Kyung, I’ll pull the blanket off a while. I’ll wipe your chest and back,” he softly said. He did as he said so, and he pulled Kyungsoo’s shirt up and inserted his hand to spread the towel on his body.

Kyungsoo shook a bit more, feeling the coldness of the water on his torso. He opened his eyes slightly, looking at how Kai wiped him so gently.

“Turn to the side now. I’ll wipe your back,” he said and Kyungsoo followed.

Kai swiftly brought the blanket back when he finished, and again he checked Kyungsoo’s forehead to see if there was improvement. “After an hour or two, your fever will go low,” he assured.

Alarmed of what could happen, Kai did not take his eyes off Kyungsoo. He sat on the floor observing Kyungsoo sleep, checking his temperature every now and then. He also prepared the paracetamol tablet Kyungsoo would take next, and he also had another blanket beside him if Kyungsoo would ask for a thicker cloth. Besides, he hit the mosquitoes which attempted to land on Kyungsoo, startling Kyungsoo when he clapped his hands trying to kill the insects.

 

They had no stargazing for this night. Kai was busy wiping a towel on Kyungsoo, checking almost every minute for Kyungsoo’s fever. “It doesn’t get lower,” Kai mumbled when he touched him. “I think you should be pulled out here.”

Hearing that, Kyungsoo held Kai’s wrist. He shook his head, muttering, “no, please?”

“But why? Kyung, you need to go to the hospital if you don’t get well by tomorrow.”

“No,” Kyungsoo begged, trying to hold Kai tighter, “no one will take care of me there.”

Kai stared at the way Kyungsoo gripped him. He held Kyungsoo’s hand trying to make him understand, “Kyung, look. Even if I take care of you here, it won’t help because I’m not a hospital. We only have first-aid medicines here. If you’re condition get worse, I’ll blame myself for not taking you back to Seoul.”

Kyungsoo didn’t speak anymore.

“Here, let’s have a deal. If you don’t get well by tomorrow morning, we’ll go back to Seoul. When we get there, I won’t leave you in the hospital. I’ll take care of you. Is that okay?”

“How…about our research?”

“Well,” Kai pondered at the thought, “maybe the university could give us consideration.”

 

Kai gave his blanket to Kyungsoo so he would have a double cloth against his chills. Kai woke up every hour to see if Kyungsoo was doing fine, if he was not shivering too much or not crying in pain.

While Kai was asleep, Kyungsoo coughed repeatedly. His chest ached much as he coughed yet he covered his mouth to stop himself from crying. The pain eventually went gone, but he tasted something from his mouth. It was the metallic taste again. Kyungsoo got the glass of water on the bedside table and drank it to rinse off his mouth. As his hand shook, he lost grip of the glass. A loud break woke Kai up.

“Kyung,” Kai hastily got up from his bed and walked to Kyungsoo. With his bare feet, he suddenly stepped on the broken glass.

He hissed in pain, and when he stepped on another, he grimaced again.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo feebly said, and he was shivering in the cold.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Kai assured him, his feet bleeding, “are you okay?” He asked as he examined if Kyungsoo got hurt.

“I’m fine,” he said, voice rickety, and he lied down again.

 

Only when the dawn broke did Kai was able to treat his wounds properly. The wound on his right foot was long and deep and he could hardly walk. The skin around the wound was red and it was beginning to swell.

When he touched Kyungsoo, he was still so hot. Seeing Kyungsoo open his eyes, Kai deadpanned, “Fate’s telling us we need to get back to Seoul. My wound’s getting infected too.”

 

After they had their lunch, their father brought them to the bus station with the motorcycle. Kai’s feet bled with the bumps and dusts and little rocks as the motorcycle ran, and Kyungsoo was still shaking even when the blanket and Kai’s arms were wrapped around him.

They were not even able to pay a decent farewell to their foster family. They just said a brief farewell to them because Kyungsoo could hardly stand and Kai was having Kyungsoo’s weight on his shoulder. Their father carried their bags and entered the bus first while Kai and Kyungsoo were left at the door.

Kyungsoo stepped so slow, his face pale, and his head was aching so much, feeling nauseated too. He feebly stepped up but he only lost his balance.

“Kyung,” Kai supported him behind, and Kyungsoo’s weight made Kai’s feet bleed more. “I’ll just carry you,” and he scooped Kyungsoo’s legs.

Luckily the nearest seats were empty. The moment they sat there, Kyungsoo began to vomit. Kai quickly got a plastic from his sling bag to catch the spew.

When the bus began to run, he let Kyungsoo’s head rest on his shoulder, fixing the blanket tightly around him and wrapping Kyungsoo with his arms.

All throughout the travel, Kai just ignored his bleeding feet. The platelet would let it stop and they would reach the hospital anyway.

--

 

It was supposed to be their 24th night in the practicum site when Kyungsoo woke up in a hospital room, and on the side was Kai taking a nap on the bench.

Kyungsoo smiled because Kai kept his promise that once they got back to Seoul, he would take care of him.

After some examination, the doctor told them it was pneumonia once again. But one thing was different now from the multiple pneumonia he had before. His chest was aching much more now.

He didn’t tell that to the doctor though. Pneumonia was enough diagnosis. And he didn’t really care because he was a busy person, he needed to maintain his high grades and he would have a more intense training for business.

Kyungsoo knew he would survive this. After the many times he had it, there was no way he could die from it. He would survive this even if his parents won’t pay a visit even just for a second, especially now that he had a very good friend beside him.

 

Kai stayed in Kyungsoo’s room for seven consecutive days. He even called his mother to bring some of his clothes. He did their team’s data interpretations and transcriptions there; and he even began writing their final practicum paper.

“Kai, you’re doing too much,” Kyungsoo nagged at him while eating his breakfast. “I told you I can help you.”

“Naaaah,” Kai let out a long sound while typing on his laptop, “just eat there and have a rest.”

Kyungsoo sipped another spoon of his chicken soup, staring at his teammate who was busy doing the work they were supposed to do together.

“Kai,” he softly called.

Kai halted typing for a while, stared at him and beamed, “eoh?”

Kyungsoo gazed for seconds; that voice of his made Kyungsoo felt lifted. As their eyes met, Kyungsoo’s heart began to beat differently…a beat he only felt with Kai. “Why…why are you doing this?”

Forehead wrinkling, he asked back, “what?”

“Thi…this,” Kyungsoo stuttered, “I mean, doing that, and then staying here…”

“I stayed here so I can give you a quick update on our work,” he swiftly replied, “and I consider this time still part of our practicum, so basically we’re supposed to be together. Besides, I have to keep up with our deal.”

Kyungsoo rested back on his bed; his heart beat faster and he just looked away from Kai saying a stammering, “thank you then.”

“You’re welcome.”

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XiaoShixun #1
Chapter 5: ㅠㅠ
XiaoShixun #2
Chapter 2: poor sooooo
nagkuv1 #3
So.... can someone spoil it for me? Sad kaisoo messes me up for days. I don’t willingly read sad kaisoo. Those that I have read are because it wasn’t tag as sad. From the comment, seems like I’m not gonna like jongin very much already. Help me. Thanks.
Nicole121314 #4
Chapter 7: Thanks and cheers to us all
KaiOlly
#5
Chapter 6: ...(。•ˇ‸ˇ•。) ... Dang.....its so beautiful and the way that they both fight for their love was so powerful. I just love how ji would often text ksoo even tho he doesnt answer, and i love that ksoo still fought his cancer for ji. Its just so beautiful, their love ╥个╥ I cant help but to imagine that when ji said theyll get married for 100x, it would mean for the next 100 lifetime, theyll always meet, fell in love deeply again no matter what the circumstances are. Its just so deeeepppp!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️??
KaiOlly
#6
Chapter 4: WHY MUST IT BE SO HEARTBREAKING???!!!! Im just soooo frustrated rn!!! ┻━┻ミ\(≧ロ≦\)
KaiOlly
#7
Chapter 1: Awwwww this is so cute and i think my heart will break after this ( ̄个 ̄)
chensubs #8
im coming back here again with this anger towards jingo, ive been zoning off to this fic this morning n then i started to get angry bcs jingo is there having fun with sehun when all ksoo does is missing jingo so much while struggling through his sickness i am angry, i want ksoo maid noonas to spill the tea to jingo, i want them to tell ksoo struggles n sufferings when jingo is in usa, i want to see jingo suffer
chensubs #9
Chapter 6: i hate the fact that ksoo was being left alone struggling with his illness n jingo is out there making out with sehun like man i wanna shove these carrots to em boys, hOW CAN U DO THAT WHEN SOMEWHERE OUT THERE KSOO IS CHOKING OUT BLOOD FROM HIS MOUTH WHILE CHERISHING THE ALBUM PHOTO (((and i also cried when ksoo is fainted at the toilet due to his illness but he told kai that he just fell asleep there like fall asleep my ))) ok fine i will stop commenting.......but i wanna cry again
chensubs #10
Chapter 6: ........its been so long since the last time i cried really hard reading fanfic, i seriously cried hard, so so hard, snots clogging on my nose till i cant breathe, n i tears rolling down my cheeks 7987km/sec, i hv to stop reading n go to toilet to clean my tears (especially after reading chapter 4). i just wanna say, thank u authornim, for making such a heartwrenching fic. this is so beautiful. i can feel ksoo pains, he is struggling n he tries to live for kai, but he doesnt want to put any more burden to kai. i wanna cry again........ksoo is such a nice person............i cried hard when jingo sent a message to ksoo telling him that he doesnt love him anymore, n then there's ksoo cooking him curry in the kitchen despite his sickness. i swear, this story is so beautiful and angst at the same time. ppl hv to see ksoo struggle here, he is trying to fight cancer, he is trying to be healthy for the one he loves. i cant say more my head hurts so much