Kyungsoo went a bit taller than Kai now. Kai was looking up on him, putting the bouquet of red roses in front of his photo, and he dropped a tear because Kyungsoo’s smile now was just within the four corners of a wooden frame.

It was a photo Kai took during their practicum; Kai could still remember that moment when he thought Kyungsoo looked the most handsome under the sunset. Kai smiled as he gazed at Kyungsoo’s face. He wanted to touch Kyungsoo, to caress and kiss him right at this moment, yet all he could touch now was only the glass protecting Kyungsoo’s ashes.

Kai’s eyes welled up. He sobbed, and his knees could hardly stand. He knelt on the floor, looking up at Kyungsoo, and the only thing he could do now was to cry.

It had been almost a year since Kyungsoo took his last breath. Kai even heard from a maid how Kyungsoo crawled on the floor while no one was around, how he coughed blood while struggling to reach their photo album at a far corner. “I’m so sorry,” Kai sobbed again, because in his hands now was Kyungsoo’s copy of their album, and Kai could see the brown stains on the pages. Those stains were Kyungsoo’s blood.

--

They didn’t know they would fall in love with each other.

They had been classmates for three years. Within those years, there was nothing between them. They had some conversations and some exchange of smiles and laughter in class activities. But aside from those, it was plain acquaintances, not even peers or friends. Because although they went to same school, listened to the same lectures at the same room, had been just a meter away from each other, Kai and Kyungsoo’s hearts were too distant.

Perhaps fate wanted them to be. Perhaps they were meant to fall for each other. What a play of fate, others would tell, that only now did they become near each other.

It was summer break before their senior year in college. Kai and Kyungsoo became teammates in their practicum. They would have thirty days on a farm field; they would live with the farmers, learn how they live, know their customs, tradition, among others. Besides, they would conduct a research study on the current social and economic condition of farmers in Sangju.

It was only the two of them-- the two of them to travel to the foreign land, to walk in its grasses and to climb its mountains. They were nervous and all, thinking of all the dangers that could happen; that anytime, they might be robbed by a stranger or slashed by a criminal.

--

Kai remembered the time when they met at the bus station. Kyungsoo awkwardly smiled at him, fingers fidgeting as he hummed a song playing in his earphones. Kai already forgot what the song was. But there was one thing he was sure about: Kyungsoo sounded beautiful.

The short male seemed not to be interested talking to his teammate. Even when they hopped in the bus, he was just there sitting beside, looking at the window, still having the little speakers in his ears. Kai didn’t try to talk to him as well, so he just pulled his DSLR from his backpack and fixed some of its settings.

“Smile!” Kai suddenly focused the lens of his camera at Kyungsoo’s face. Surprised and hesitating at first, Kyungsoo nevertheless grinned for the photo.

That was the very first photo of Kyungsoo that Kai took.

But Kai didn’t know how it looked like now. He wanted to know every detail of that photo—what was the color of Kyungsoo’s seat, what was the color of his shirt, what could be seen at its background window…how Kyungsoo looked at the camera, how his lips spread so wide.

Kai badly wanted to see it, yet he couldn’t because he buried it in darkness.

--

The first morning they witnessed was paradise. It was something never could be seen in the city, and a breeze never could be felt in the urban land. It was a rain shower, prism drops shading colors at the sky. The leaves were in gentle applause, rice grains were dancing along with the wind, and the mixture of light and dark brown made up everything to depict the perfect farm field they could be at.

Kai beamed a “wow” with the sight at the window, so did Kyungsoo.

“The rainbow’s beautiful,” they said in unison.

The teammates suddenly looked at each other—awkwardly—and they cleared their throats. Since they rode on the bus, until they had their dinner, until they slept beside each other, they almost didn’t talk. Hellos, too tiny dialogues and short smiles were only exchanged.

“Yeah,” they uttered simultaneously again, and they chuckled a bit.

Muscles sore, they walked outside the hut together. They were not fond of the hard wooden bed, and their long travel from the city contributed to the stiff and aching limb muscles they were both having now. They also had a hard time observing space between them as they sleep; they struggled for one more centimeter away from each other, yet they ended up skin to skin, nose to nose when they unconsciously faced each other during their deep sleep. They would try to fit themselves on the single-sized bed until this upcoming night. Their foster parents said that the new single-sized bed they specially ordered for one of them would be delivered tomorrow.

“Argh,” Sehun complained over the phone. “We should have really been the teammates. That would be so fun.”

Kai hastily went far from Kyungsoo, cupping his mouth onto the phone. He chuckled at his best friend, “hey, lower your voice, man. I think Kyungsoo heard you earlier. Anyway, yeah, I feel the same. Better if it’s you.”

Kyungsoo heard Sehun’s voice, so he just sipped his coffee and played some ballad music in his earphones. Feeling the urge to cough, he pulled his red hanky from his pocket. The liquid that came from his mouth blended well with the cloth. That was why all his handkerchiefs were red. He sipped the hot beverage to wash away the remaining blood in his mouth. And then he went back to their room to fix the survey forms they would use later.

Kyungsoo didn’t also want Kai to be his teammate anyway. Better if it was just a friend of his, someone whom he was already close with. He rolled his eyes as he flipped the papers in his hands, thinking of the adjustment he needed to do with a familiar stranger for thirty days.

“Good night,” Kai mumbled as he faced the wall, allergic of having skin contact with Kyungsoo again.

“Good night,” Kyungsoo wished back at the opposite side, and he also didn’t want to die of his teammate’s stinky breath tonight.

The conversations they had within the day replayed in their minds.

Kai took note of the information he got from the petite male. Kyungsoo loves to sing ballad songs. He’s always alone in the house, his parents do not care about him, and he doesn’t really have a best friend. He likes cooking, and kimchi spaghetti is his favorite dish. He sarcastically questions why I will go to medical school after graduation, to which I don’t have a persuasive answer.

Kyungsoo also noted what Kai told him. Kai loves dancing. Since he met Sehun, they’ve always danced in his personal studio, and since then they became best friends. Kai honestly wants Sehun to be his practicum teammate, because they want to dance together after their research work. He also loves photography because he finds it so fun. And he will go to medical school just because he finds it cool and his relatives said they will give him much money if he will.

Kai and Kyungsoo jumped from the bed. Kai hit his head on the wall, while Kyungsoo stumbled on the floor.

“Why were you hugging me?!” Kai freaked out.

“How about you?” Kyungsoo rebutted, “why were you hugging me?” and he gave a satanic stare.

There was silence. Kai scratched his head with an, “I’m sorry,” because he didn’t intend to do that while he was sleeping.

Smiling, Kyungsoo got up from his fall. He had the same case as Kai, yet he just went out of the room to start their day.

--

Kai’s patient laughed at his story. “You’re both pabos,” the little child giggled on his bed.

“Yeah, we are,” Dr. Kim agreed, and there came a prick in his heart while he giggled with his patient. Reminiscing the first time they hugged each other, Kai could only display a sad grin.

“You’ll get well soon, baby. You won’t die like Kyungsoo hyung, okay? We’ll fight.” He ran his fingers onto the boy’s hair and gave him a peck on the forehead.

The child nodded, and then he coughed, staining Kai’s white coat in crimson red.

Going back to his clinic, Kai moved to his work table to finish paper works. As he flipped the papers, he glanced at the only photo on his table. He then stopped looking at his papers, and instead stared at the photo for a long time.

The photo had him and Kyungsoo grinning together.

--

After breakfast, their foster parents called them to the field. Their mother gave Kai and Kyungsoo a handful of rice roots, “Look first on how we do it, and then plant those yourselves.”

The teammates looked at each other, staring at each other’s hand holding the grass-looking rice plants. They saw how they dipped their foot on the mud a fourth of their leg in depth, and Kyungsoo’s instinct was to grimace and utter a cringing “augh.”

The teammates observed how the farmers did the planting—they had the bundle on one hand while their other hand was busy picking up pieces on the bundle and smashing it against the mud.

“Come over here,” their father called, and Kyungsoo hid behind Kai, afraid of stepping even once on the mud.

Kai took his slippers off, stepped forward and dipped his left foot first on the mud.

“Oh,” Kai remarked as he slightly slipped on it, and luckily he was supported by his other foot before he could have a full-body dip on the mud. As he stepped further, he found the mud comfortable to the feet. It had a soft and fine texture and he liked shaking his feet under because the mud was not too thick and it felt as if he was having a foot massage.

“Kyung!” He yelled because Kyungsoo was still there standing on the dry soil, on the verge of crying because he really didn’t want to step on the mud. “Come on! It’s fun!”

Kyungsoo didn’t speak. He was still looking down at the mud in front of his feet, and his sight was getting blurred from the tears forming in his eyes. He lifted his right foot, dipped his toes on the mud, and it didn’t take a second when he held back to the dry soil. “I can’t do it!” He yelled back, voice shaking as he tried to control his tears.

“Aish,” Kai went to Kyungsoo’s direction. Kyungsoo stepped back as Kai approached, but he wasn’t able to do anything when Kai grabbed his wrist and forcefully pulled him to the mud.

Kyungsoo’s eyes almost went out in shock, and he shrieked that he got the attention of the farmers around.

“Kyung, calm down, calm down,” Kai was holding Kyungsoo’s hand tight, not letting Kyungsoo run back from the mud, and Kyungsoo hit him on the shoulder hard.

“Kai, Kai,” his tone was that of begging for help, and Kai could only chuckle at him.

“Kyung, I’m here. Don’t be scared,” Kai gazed at Kyungsoo, convincing him that it was going to be fun and that they could wash their feet later.

Kyungsoo had deep breathes for every step he made on the mud. He never let go of Kai’s hand after seeing how his teammate almost slipped in the middle of the muddy field earlier.

“Kyungsoo, you need to let go of your teammate’s hand if you want to learn,” their father gently reminded, Kai nodding on the side.

“Ahjussi is right. So let go of my hand now, okay?”

Hesitating, Kyungsoo let go of Kai’s hand anyway. And a minute did not pass when Kyungsoo got off-balanced, swiftly reached for Kai’s arms for support, but he just ended up falling on the mud, pulling Kai to join him in a full-body mud dip.

Kyungsoo was stuck lying down on the mire, Kai beside him having the same situation. Their bodies were all brown now, even their faces and hair, and they had even tasted the mud and Kai even swallowed some of it.

Kai laughed at his situation, did not immediately stand up and instead rolled his body on it with his head up. “Weee!” he playfully uttered.

Kyungsoo grimaced at him. He chortled nevertheless watching his stupid teammate enjoying the fall he caused.

--

Kai liked the improvement he was seeing on Kyungsoo through the days. He was not cringing on the mud anymore, and his hands were really improving in planting the rice. He also began helping their mom in cleaning the hut and their fence, even in feeding the pigs and cows. Kyungsoo was admirable, indeed.

Kai also thought that Kyungsoo was a really good teammate. Kyungsoo was hardworking and responsible, and oftentimes he would be shocked with Kyungsoo’s announcement that the transcriptions and answer frequencies were already done.

It was their seventh day of practicum, and Kai received another phone call from his best friend.

“Hey, I really miss you, dude,” Sehun spoke on the line.

“I miss you too,” he laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll treat you millktea when when we get back to Seoul.”

“Of course you must,” he rolled his eyes.

Sehun was assigned just at the neighboring province. He actually wanted to travel just to see Kai, yet it was forbidden as per university rules. So every day, he wouldn’t miss a phone call for Kai. They would talk about lots of things, share various stories of their practicum experience and laugh together until midnight.

Sehun laughed hard when Kai shared that Kyungsoo saw him .

There were only plywoods around covering Kai as he took a bath. Kyungsoo got him another pail from the well when his water got short.

In Seoul, Kai had a big bathroom. He had a shower, a choice of hot or cold, and if he would like, he had the bath tub.

Here, it was not even a bathroom. It was just a tiny space surrounded with thin woods, and the woods, if hit a bit hardly, could break in a moment. There was no roof; it was straight sky, and the height of the wooden walls wasn’t even enough to cover his chest. So he really needed to crouch, and he needed to spend the water diligently.

At this day, Kai decided to take all his clothes off. He felt that he wasn’t cleaning himself well the past days, because he was so insecure to take his shorts off. Only a piece of sack was the cover of its entrance, and one big blow of the wind, he would be seen….

This day, he observed that the weather was so clear. And because the sack was not blown on the past days, he assumed it would be the same this morning.

It was his mistake. A mistake that made Kyungsoo’s eyes bigger than what they already were.

All of a sudden, the wind blew hard. While Kyungsoo was waiting outside for his turn, his eyes accidentally went on Kai, and…both of them froze.

“!” Kai hastened after being paralyzed for seconds. Kyungsoo saw Kai’s hand swiftly covering his thing, but how could that help if he had already seen everything.

As they walked along the road, rocks and dusts against every footstep of theirs, Kyungsoo studied the guide questions for their interview while Kai fixed the settings of his DSLR.

“Here,” Kyungsoo halted in front of a hut, eyes focusing on Kai’s nose while talking, “let’s ask the people here.”

Kai nodded and he didn’t dare for an eye-to-eye contact with Kyungsoo. His embarrassment was still fresh to his mind.

“Hi, good afternoon,” Kyungsoo greeted the man peeking at the hut’s door. “We’re college students from Seoul. Can we have an interview with you?”

The man responded with a shut of the door.

“Guess we need to walk further,” Kai said.

Kyungsoo sighed, agreeing with his teammate with a walk forward.

On the next hut they halted at, a girl had peeked at the window before Kyungsoo had his greeting. “Hello, good afternoon,” and the girl did not appear to them again.

“Can we have an interview with you?” Kai yelled, trying to let the girl peek again or go outside to approach them.

Only the birds replied to them. Gladly, for the next hut after a long walk, the lady accommodated them to their house.

“Please excuse our house, it’s so dirty,” the lady grinned at them.

“It’s okay, maam,” Kai grinned back as he set his camera at the table along with the voice recorder.

The interview went well, Kai and Kyungsoo had follow-up questions for the lady and the lady gladly answered their inquiries.

The teammates began walking back to their house. The sky was dark; the clouds were fast-moving; and so they decided to move hastily before the rain pours. The rain poured in the middle of their walk; Kyungsoo got his umbrella while Kai had none.

“You don’t have an umbrella?” Kyungsoo yelled, fighting with the loud sound of the downpour as he put Kai under his umbrella.

“Nah,” Kai answered, grabbing the umbrella from Kyungsoo, “I forgot. I’ll hold your umbrella.”

Kyungsoo grabbed back the handle, accidentally holding Kai’s hand, “Give it to me. I’ll hold it.”

Kai gripped the umbrella tighter, not letting Kyungsoo have it. “I’ll hold it. I’m taller, you see?” He clinged his arm on the shorter male, pulling him closer and making sure he won’t get wet.

Kyungsoo had his straight face and they proceeded to walk under the rain. It would be a long walk again before they could reach their hut. While Kyungsoo could feel Kai’s body against his, his heat touching his skin against the cold rain air, the image he saw earlier appeared in his mind. Kyungsoo inhaled deeply and he blushed in silence.

--

Kai had been pulling the pail up the well. His arms were already aching and he panted as he stretched his back. Their basins were still not full; he still needed about two pulls before the water gets sufficient.

Kyungsoo meanwhile picked their baskets of dirty clothes and joined Kai outside. The sun was high up, Kyungsoo was beginning to sweat. He soaked their clothes on one basin and put three bags of detergent powder. He separated his handkerchiefs; he would just wash them tomorrow when he would take a bath.

“Yah, Kyung, that’s so much powder!” Kai exclaimed, mouth agape when he saw the big sachets of detergent empty.

“That’s fine, so that all the dirt will go away,” Kyungsoo explained.

After a third of an hour, Kyungsoo began scrubbing the clothes, squeezing them and transferring to the next basin. He had finished only six clothes when his knuckles got red and his skin got scratched from the continuous friction.

Kai joined scrubbing minutes after he took a rest, seeing how Kyungsoo’s hands suddenly got bruised. Kai grabbed Kyungsoo’s hands, startling Kyungsoo as he focused on washing his clothes. “I’ll continue washing. Go inside now and treat your hands. Get my medicine kit there.”

Kyungsoo pulled his hands off him, soaked his hands on the water and scrubbed again.

Kai pulled his hands again from the water. He got his handkerchief from his pocket and gently patted it on Kyungsoo’s hands. He pulled Kyungsoo up, gripped him on the wrist and pulled him inside the house.

“Yah! What are you doing?” Kyungsoo complained, trying to get off Kai, only to fail.

“Look at your hands,” Kai lifted them in front of Kyungsoo’s face. Kyungsoo disobeyed and instead gave Kai a glare. “They’re starting to bleed, so better put an antiseptic now and just transcribe the interview if you may. We can even save time with that. Let me wash your clothes.”

“The transcription is done,” Kyungsoo informed Kai when he got back in the room.

“What?” Kai’s jaw dropped. “Really?” he arched his brow in disbelief.

Kyungsoo handed him the laptop, showing the twenty-pages transcription of the interview they conducted yesterday.

“What the?!” Kai gasped as he scrolled down, barely seeing any spelling error, “that was fast!”

“Of course,” Kyungsoo deadpanned and he lied down on the bed attempting to do a nap when he saw Kai’s hands red and bruised.

“What the happened to you?” Kyungsoo hastily sat up to look closely at Kai’s hands clicking on the keyboard.

Kai looked at Kyungsoo, discovering how he stared so closely at his hands. Kai put them behind and he stood up. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” Kyungsoo grabbed the first aid kit on his side and pulled the hem of Kai’s shirt to let him sit on the bed. “Your bruises were worse than mine.” Kyungsoo picked a cotton ball and poured the antiseptic on it. He reached for Kai’s hand and treated his teammate’s knuckles. Kai jerked with the pain, grimacing as he watched Kyungsoo treat his wounds.

“Callous hands, you said,” sarcastically smirked Kyungsoo as he remembered how Kai made an excuse to do all the washing. He looked up at Kai, still displaying his devious glare and Kai simply looked at the wall to avoid it.

“It’s done,” Kyungsoo said, and he smiled at Kai uttering a, “thank you for washing my clothes,” which made Kai smile too.

--

It rained in the afternoon, Kai was asleep, and so Kyungsoo got all their clothes hanging outside. He planned to fold all of them to surprise Kai when he wakes up. Kyungsoo loved the scent of Kai’s clothes; it smelled like that of a baby and his clothes were so soft.

There were no people around. Their mother was washing dishes, their brothers were playing with their neighbors, and their father bought at the market. Kyungsoo then took the opportunity. He put Kai’s shirt on his face and drowned himself with the tan-skinned male’s scent. He almost sniffed each of his clothes, even his underwear; and look at the surprise of chance. Kai woke up and saw Kyungsoo sniffing his brief with eyes closed.

“Yah, Kyungsoo,” Kai muttered.

Kyungsoo’s eyes almost went out.

“Uh…uhm,” Kyungsoo stammered, looked down and quickly folded Kai’s underwear in his hand. Peering upwards, he glared at his teammate, “what?”

Kai chuckled as he went towards him to help him fold. “Nothing,” he replied, still staring at him as he picked Kyungsoo’s brief to sniff it as well.

“Yah!” Kyungsoo grabbed his underwear from him. Kai then picked another brief of Kyungsoo and ran outside, shouting “hey neighbors! I got Kyungsoo’s briefs here!”

“The ?!” Kyungsoo clenched his fists, growling, and he rushed towards Kai. Luckily the neighbors were far enough not to hear Kai’s scream, yet Kyungsoo was still boiling with temper.

Kai raised his hand holding the brief, not letting his medium-height practicum partner reach his underwear.

“Give me my brief !” Kyungsoo tiptoed, and he even jumped as he extended his arms trying to reach them.

Kai ran to the grass, ignoring the heavy pour of the rain. Kyungsoo on the other hand grinded his teeth as he chased after him. Kyungsoo’s feet went faster than Kai’s that he was able to grab the hem of the taller’s shirt. Kai stumbled backwards with Kyungsoo’s pull, Kyungsoo fell with him in the process.

Kyungsoo landed on top of Kai, his lips falling on his teammate’s.

They could feel each other’s breathe, and they froze for seconds as the raindrops kept falling on them.

Kyungsoo lifted himself up from Kai, grabbed his briefs on Kai’s hand, and grumped while rushing towards the house.

Kai, meanwhile, was still lying down on the grass, wet all over. He remained still, his fingers touching his lips.