Well, 8 months leaving this fic; I apologize for that. For those who know me, you know I am pretty occupied with subbing. I hope that you will like this chapter, and more to come :) MERRY CHRISTMAS Matokians :)

“Jongup called me” said Himchan while looking at Youngjae who is now blinking non-stop, trying to process the information that he just received.

“He called you?” Youngjae starts to move himself towards the former and takes Himchan’s hand in his, while circling his thumb slowly, looking at the floor, before continuing… “already?” said Youngjae , hiding his sad face. He knows that Himchan is struggling as well. He then heads up and smiles at Himchan who is now staring weakly at him. Youngjae knows that he is not lying about it.

“What did he say?” Youngjae continued after a pregnant pause. “My parents called me back” said Himchan tighten the grip of his best friend’s touch; before continuing with the story … “and they want me to be there by next week. I am in dilemma now Youngjae”

Youngjae slowly wrapped himself to Himchan as the latter tighten the hugs weakly. “I don’t want Yongguk to know too” whisper Himchan to Youngjae’s ear, audible enough to let Youngjae freezes at the moment. Youngjae sighs. He patted Himchan as a sign to stay strong, while he thinks of how to help this best friend of his.

As they loosen their hug, Youngjae asked what is Himchan’s plan for now. The things listed are so ridiculous for Youngjae coz for sure Himchan can’t decide rationally now. “Babe, I do think that we need to sort this out. You are talking nonsense now. Are you up for classes now?” said Youngjae with a mere concern while receiving a nod from the latter.

“Go to your class first, and I will come to your house soon? No, I will go to your house after the school right. Oh wait, I need to pack up some - ” Youngjae keeps on babbling , receiving an audible chuckles from Himchan as he gets up from his seat .. “You can stay the night Youngjae” said Himchan as he paces up to go to his class. Youngjae smiles at the thought and leave the room as well, trailing behind Himchan’s paces.

The day goes off well. Himchan walks off the gate after finishing his duty as vice president. Well, the student council ain’t having any meeting and all, plus, Himchan is trying to finish up things in clear safe, before he clears his thoughts while settling himself. While waiting for Youngjae at the school gate, Himchan looks at the school building. His memories run quickly, making him to feel stuffed inside; thinking that he is going to leave the place soon. His sophomore years to what he is now, being someone respected in school has never been an easy task for anybody. Being someone who is all rounded is something that Himchan always struggle up, until now. Now, he is in need to go back to New York, Himchan thinks that it is so sudden; he can’t prepare himself in such a short notice.   

Himchan is the only son of Kim family. Staying at Korea is basically based on his own decision after he keeps on coming back and forth between New York and Korea. Having a mansion there is as to make it easy for them if they have a visit to Korea. This is of why Himchan knows Yongguk since 5 years old, since he manages to get his kindergarten education, then back to New York, and back to Korea back after Himchan decided to stay and have his education there. Talking about his grandparents, they only visit the former when there is festive happened. If not, then all of them will be doing their own businesses. Of why Himchan is mostly alone when it comes to the topic relating to his family. More or less, Himchan did most of the decisions for his life on his own although his parents will have a check on him once in a while. He used to it though. That is why he appreciates those who always care for him for who he is, because he is always alone most times.

There, dropping a name to his thought – Yongguk. For someone who care so much for this firm friend of his, Himchan always come to a sense that he is doing so much for the former. Knowing that sometimes he is doing so much for a his friend ~ Himchan somehow comes to a conclusion that he needs some time for himself too, and starts to focus on himself.

Let’s talk about how he can stay up late just to do works for Yongguk; or coming directly to his house though at midnight - after getting a single call; or paying for most of his stuffs; or everything – be it personal or school. Yet – sigh ~ Yongguk never appreciate him. All the former did was to hang around with the rest of his friends, ignoring Himchan completely.

There, Himchan remembers Youngjae eyeing him when Himchan is completely ignored when all of them hang out together with the rest of their schoolmates. Whats more, he made Himchan feels so small in front of the rest. “When will you learn to be nice to yourself Himchan?”  he remembers Youngjae said this to him.

Yeah ~ “When will I be nice to myself?” Himchan monologues to himself as he paces to kitchen for a cup of coffee; while letting a small sigh that he knows, he should do something for himself.