Chapter 4

Big Revelation

 

 

A red car passed through the streets and crowded roads. The inner part was being filled by the machine sound pounding their ears while slitthering an absolute silence. Minutes walked faster but no upcoming chatter was aired. Seo Hyun never felt the heavy suspense next to the unpredictable Yong Hwa this much, whose eyes went straight forwards exactly on driving concentration. Or on somewhere else, she didn’t know the place was his mind landed on. After the piano incidence, Yong Hwa was a total odd from her view.

The car went towards her apartment. Magically, silence told him about her address and how they could reach for it. She said nothing and all being clueless, but Yong Hwa could drive on himself like he knew the directions. Or wait, did he really find out my apartment is exactly located?

Oh. Big impossible.

CKIT.

The chirp sounded made her to jerk up due to the sudden car being stopped. She was surprised as her forehead almost bumped into the car mirror, and was crossed.

“What are you doing?” She squeled, protesting, rubbing her brow to reduce light pain. You try to kill me for real, Jung Yong Hwa.

But the man next to her stayed rigid instead of answering. Yong Hwa lifted his head up to the right direction, looking outside the car window. His gesture pointed out the building beside. “You know this place?” He  murmured.

Seo Hyun examined the appearance of the building she could clearly discover surrounded by the dark and dimp street light. Reading the board on the gate: Melody Orphanage, she nodded in a deep wrinkle due to his question. “Sure. I visit this place regularly.”

“What?” And now, he spun around and was staring at her.

“I often come here to teach music class,” She added suspiciously, but still passing the words, “Since I was ten. My mother loved to spend the whole day here, and so did I.”

Yong Hwa halted the time, waiting for a continuation.

“But it was a long time ago. My mother had passed away.” She forced a smile, words were gliding naturally as her mind run to the past. She then backed to him, “Why?”

And after three seconds, her meticulous eyes caught the puzzled Yong Hwa who immediately continued driving, heading to her apartment straightly without any utters. Silence took a part once again.

What’s happened to him?

[FLASHBACK]

An eighteen years old Jung Yong Hwa was on his way home when he caught her outside the school gate, carrying a brown piggyback and handing on some music scores. The music connection between them was strangely intimate though he couldn’t tell everyone that they were actual friends. They’re just music-mates. Or oddly-music-partner. He never named theirselves as properly as he wanted to manage. Knowing her without recognizing her name was a total peculiar, but he loved it. He liked her piano playing, her shy character while talking, her loneliness, and so her pure feeling while and pressing the tuts.

The sudden urge who slapped him to secretly follow the Piano Girl’s direction, Yong Hwa just couldn’t resist it now.

So he trode on heels to anywhere she were heading to. Seo Hyun took a ride on a bus, and he, who preferred riding a bike more than being carried along by the family driver, followed from her back unnoticed.

Then he saw her went down at bus station, walking straightly some metres away and turned into an orphanage building. When he examined her from distant, outside the gate, he witnessed her hugging a middle-aged woman whose appearance mostly resembled her. No need to think twice, everyone could judge the woman as her mother. And their closeness snapped his heart. Yong Hwa was envy.

They sang together with the orphans, they played hide and seek, they laughed, they run with the children, and he stayed there more than one hour just to examine and oddly, enjoy the moments. Out of nowhere, he felt incredibingly warm. And it just made him to follow the mother and daughter to went home after the orphanage visit.

Then he knew where they lived. A simple apartement near the orphanage.

After this strange random journey, Yong Hwa backed to spend the days in usual way. And the piano girl, he was addicted to her presence in the music room. Especially when she attempted to make the full version of her first music composing, and his creation notes was being played. A warmth from nowhere breezed him, melodiously, comfortably.

[FLASHBACK ENDS]

 They walked on a corridor together in absolute silence until Seo Hyun stopped their pace, scattering the thought flying inside his head.

“Here is my home,” She pointed a door in front of their standing, “Thankyou for the ride, Jung Yong Hwa-ssi.” She forced a smile, taking a bow, but was still puzzled by his act. The quiet atmosphere was unusual. Yong Hwa bore some confusion, she could feel it.

The apartment number was suddenly caught by Yong Hwa’s eyes: 391, inducing him to lock his gaze on there for couple minutes.

“Are you okay?” Seo Hyun’s eyes blinked to drip on his, gaining a quick surprise from Yong Hwa, “Jung Yong Hwa-ssi? Do you want to come in?”

“Ah, no.” He answered after taking over all the consciousness, then he heaved a breath, “Just go in.”

Seo Hyun waverly nodded and took a step, while Yong Hwa stood there, glancing at her to enter the house. She paused after gripping tha doorhandle, and spun around to face him once again, “Are you sure?” Whatever the hatred feeling between them, seeing Yong Hwa in this condition, beside the desire to know the reason, she was nothing but worried.

Yong Hwa threw a light nod. 

She finally mouthed an ‘okay’ word, deciding to step in and leaving him behind. It was a complete awkward, and queer. But she went straight not to take this act a mind.

Outside the door, Yong Hwa brushed his head off to manipulate the sudden pressure he suddenly bore. The pain and memories he buried from seven years ago, gradually, one by one, made the way to the surface.

He d something from the jeans pocket he carried away, and found a room key with the hanger accessories written some numbers: 392, as his hands trembled.

He cluthed the key harder while his eyes landed on the door next to Seo Hyun’s: 392.

His heart was shocked like it wanted to rip off, so he abruptly run to his car, the machine, and went away. Driving brutally.

Seo Joo Hyun, why do you always follow me?

He horned the car forwards while spatting inwardly.

Or me to follow you?

He gripped the steer tightly, transmitting every emotion which was breaking his own.

Faith .

*&^%$#@

 

He took another glass, sipping it slowly, then gulping down the rest in one go. He was about to grip the beer bottle to be poured onto the glass, but he lost his control. He failed to reach it in one try, then he managed to catch it once again. One empty bottle beer was located beside the half-full one. He was drunken as his mind scrambled up like a movie reel being rolled. His eyes was red when he took another swallow again. Eventhough he was bad, very bad at drinking.

[FLASHBACK BEGINS]

Seven years ago.

 “I’ve told you to quit music, Yong Hwa.” Jung Hang San sat upright on his lounge, newspaper was extend hand-to-hand, across the rigid Yong Hwa who stared at him madly. “But you disobey.”

“Abeoji, until when you will torture me?” The young Yong Hwa desperately said to him, “I love music and I dedicate myself to music like I aways tell you. Like long time ago. Since I was child.” He howled impatiently, almost crying.

Jung Hang San was now glaring at his son. “Music is a waste.”

“But you’re the owner of FNC! You’re the one of the co-founder!”

“I’m going to sell that agency.” He responded coldly, “Or else, I’ll diminish it.”

“Abeoji!” Yong Hwa yelled in frustration.

“Listen to me!” Jung Hang San cut his son sternly and firmly, gaining Yong Hwa to shut his mouth, “Don’t you ever forget what I’ve told to you since the beginning of this year. You soon will meet the deadline.” Gaining an ignore face from his son, he continued, “Your mother died due to piano, my thirty-years bestfriend, the real FNC co-founder who always walked together with me until this level, also died due to music. Music is a poison, Yong Hwa. Once you sank into it, you’ll never come back. And don’t ever dare to go to music again!”

“It’s different, Abeoji.” Yong Hwa still tried to deal with him, “Omma died on her way to piano concert, it was pure accident. And Ahjussi, he was shot randomly killed by unknown murderer. No motives being discovered that he was killed on purpose.” He protested, strengthening the stare competition between him and his father, and his voice turned to be so low, “Please. Allow me. This is my soul.”

“Over my dead body. It’s enough to lost them. Not you anymore.”

“There’s no relation betweet death and music!”

“I already give you eight months to think, and avoid music, and this.” He ignored his son once again, then showed Yong Hwa a map, “Keio University Application. Economic and Management major. Japan has the best industry and economic development in Asia. So here, get your chance. I already told my relative to help you on your tests.”

“ I don’t want to go there.” Yong Hwa quickly refused, “You can’t do this to me, Abeoji.”

“I’m your father so I know the best.” He heavily insisted his son to go, “I’ll build you some small industry to begin. We already have two resorts, we just need to develop them. And I’ll close FNC agency.”

Yong Hwa shaked his head in a full frustration. “You’re mean.”

“I’m doing this for your future.” Jung Hang San raised his hands over Yong Hwa, gesturing how serious and how big this plan would do.

“You just restrict me. You pen my passion.”

Jung Hang San inhaled deeply, “Jung Yong Hwa, you’re my one and only blood-inherited son. I want you to manage these materials in a good and strategic way. Nothing else.”

“Yunho-hyung absolutely could do the best for you, Abeoji.”

“He’s just..” Jung Hang San hold back, couldn’t continue the chatters.

Yong Hwa pierced, “Not your son? Because he was someone you adopted while you wait for my mother to be pregnant? He was the best, Oppa. I won’t forgive you if you hurt him.”

“I don’t say that he was bad. All I want to say is, that someone who someday can replace me is you.” He said in serious tone, pressuring Yong Hwa down. But his son gave up, Yong Hwa was about to step out and got off when his father stopped his way, “Five days again, you should go to my friend to arrange your university tests.”

He halted the time, “I have my first mini stage concert at café that day. Moreover, I won’t go.”

“Jung Yong Hwa!”

“I’m sorry, Abeoji.” He took a light bow to his father and walked away.

“Your mother,” Once sentence could pause Yong Hwa’s pace. Hearing the slow tone from his father, he turned around a little bit, “She was drown to music and embodied herself too deeply, Son.” And Yong Hwa met his father’s complete sad eyes, “I lost her pureness, I just witness ambition and ambition of hers. Almost everyday she wanted to do the recitals, the concerts. She didn’t care about her health. He ignored her body like he ignored us.” He added, and Yong Hwa was silent and said nothing.

“And my bestfriend, Yong Hwa, I lost his humour, I lost his jokes. All I saw was partiturs and piano music scores, nothing else. No chatters, no proper communication. Music controlled him. Until he died on the murderer’s hand who wanted to steal his works.”

Yong Hwa was speechless like a statue, he clutched hardly, didn’t want to believe his father’s words. “They love music sincerely.”

“Too sincere until it brought them to leave us.”

Yong Hwa shaked his head in refusal. No. I won’t let you control me, I won’t let you influence me.

“I’m right and you’re my son. You have no one to be trusted except me. You just have me.”

Yong Hwa could feel the warmth b onto his eyes. It was hard to go against his father he loves the most. It was harder to tell about his beloved mother on this uneasy way, pointing her death as a big mistake. He gulped, mouth was trembling, “You’re just traumatic, Abeoji. And you deliver that to me.”

Now was Jung Hang San’s turn to be shut. He was silent for some seconds, taking over all his mind once again. It hit him, Yong Hwa’s sentence. “Please, Son, do quit music.”

And by that sentence, Yong Hwa couldn’t bear it anymore. He hated his father in this way, he hated the situation, he hated his authority, he hated his words just now. So he step out from the room in complete wretched and cracked feeling.

“You’re no longer my son if you disobey me this time.”

Yong Hwa paused the hand gripping the doorhandle hearing his father’s last sentence, but he refused to go back, and just went out. He felt lacerated, and complicated, and intricate. Why everything must turn into this way?

A heels strike pacing the corridor could snatch his mind as he caught Jung Lyn’s was approaching him. He took a bow to his stepmother after their eyes encountered. They stood face to face right after. Yong Hwa was about to walk away when her words stopped him, “Just go, Yong Hwa. To Japan.”

He smirked, “Why? Don’t you want me not to continue my father’s position?”

“What?”

“I know you, Omeoni.” He turned to her, “You, my father, my mother, are friends at college. And you love him even before he got married with my mother. And now, when he re-married with you, I know you. You want his materials.”

Jung Lyn’s eyes grew wider due to the immodest words Yong Hwa just threw.

“You can have it, by the way, because I won’t take it.”

“You..” Jung Lyn’s was out of words, before continuing after controlling her mind, “I helped your father to go through his hard situations. I helped him to drive his business, until this level. And you dare to say that to me? Don’t include me as the third party on your parent’s story, I’m nothing but friends.”

“I don’t believe you.” He uttered.

“I never really hated someone, Yong Hwa. But you just step in that way.” Jung Lyn’s replied in a stern voice.

Yong Hwa snierked.

He threw a hatred to this woman since the first time she knew her, as his father’s friend, as his mother’s friend. Jung Lyn was ambitious, heavily ambitious woman. She took his mother’s position, which was he disliked the most. For these six years, from his mother’s funeral six years ago, she appeared to his life as a cold mother figure. Someone who just worked and worked, never gave an attention to him, and always located him as someone else, not as son. She addressed Yong Hwa as a destroyer and disobey young man. All she did was scolding and scolding: when he was late, when he escaped from home unnoticed, when he did bad, when he was angry with his father.

Even until Hara was born three years after the marriage, their connection didn’t go better. She preferred Yunho to do the Oppa’s job more than him. Yunho, who was full of deary and such a lovable boy, got full attention of Jung Lyn. No space to Yong Hwa anymore, and by that moment, his odium just went higher and higher.

On his eyes, Jung Lyn was someone who snatched his mother’s place in a bad way, owning his father over him, gaining the center of the family evethough for him, she was someone else who had enough luck to be here. She was stiff woman who never said ‘I loose’ and felt deferred. She never lowered down herself to approach him.

And he couldn’t receive her presence, until now. He just hated her, as unbased reason as he could utter.

Yong Hwa snorted, taking a light bow to her, and went away, leaving Jung Lyn’s behind.

*&^%$#@

 

 “You will have a concert?” Yunho asked him on the way door, catching Yong Hwa carrying a guitar and was dressing casually. He could smell his brother’s strong perfume. “You look like someone who wants to admit love to a girl.”

Yong Hwa broke a laughter, “Just a mini concert, Hyung, this evening at the cafe.”

“I know.”

Yong Hwa smiled. Yunho always hugged him with his open arms, warm and on fatherly ways. “Make sure you will be there.”

Yunho patted Yong Hwa’s back, “Give me free VVIP ticket.”

“Ey, you should buy it by yourself.”

“I won’t. Because it’s your concert.”

“So, if it’s someone else’s concert, you will buy the ticket?”

“Sure.”

Yong Hwa laughed, “Fine. Your cake slices will be mine.”

Yunho exploded, “You’re always childish, Boy.” He brushed Yong Hwa’s hair endearingly, “My brother will gain many girl fans tonight. Aigoo.”

“I’ll give you one girl after this, Hyung. Don’t worry.” Yong Hwa threw a mischievous grin, gaining a guffaw from Yunho. “I’ll go, Hyung. See you tonight.” He waved a goodbye and walked away.

Yunho replied the goodbye wave, “Goodluck!”

*&^%$#@

 

At 06.00 pm. Yong Hwa’s guitar solo concert began.

The seats were gradually filled, almost no seats remained unbooked. It was the first mini concert Yong Hwa held, but the people looked so extremely excited he almost didn’t believe. So many girls and boys adored him as the banners went larger and larger, and his playing was kind of well-known in the city. He just appeared on high school performance once a year, and instead, he run his own blog to be filled by his personal guitar playing video in order to canalized his hobby. Some others’ songs were being played into some improvisation, some were his own composing music. He admitted, his blog had many visitors since the first time he arranged it. Even the concert publication was so minimal and just went through the blog and a few posters.

Nothing he could express except the contended feeling driving him. His adrenaline rushed swiftly, and flew harder on his bloodstream, inducing him to concentrate, yet nervous. He felt the sudden high spirit to perform the very best tonight.

This is my world. Here we go.

He began with Wherever You Will Go by The Calling, gaining a soft yet smooth atmosphere on the stage. He sat on a small chair at the center of the stage, then played the intro into intricate ways, so did the chorus. He strummed the strings and did more than three maneuvers to almost every note, gaining louder claps across the café.

He loves singing, and his voice was light and powerful embodying into the melody. He was confident enough to press his voice, swinging and flowing naturally accompanying the beautiful strings vibration he just created. And it turned marvelelous as the claps went louder.

“Thankyou for coming here, Everyone.” He opened the mini concert officially with some kind words, “This is my--“ Then he paused. His eyes caught a man who was standing upright in front of the stage, hands crossed against each others, glaring furiously towards him. No move, just staring while standing on his shoes.

His father.

Yong Hwa felt the sudden uneasy feeling crawled inside his heart.

But whatever it went up, he just kept the continuation after dealing with his thought, a bit stuttering, “This is my first time standing on the stage, my own stage.” He forced a smile, “So I hope you’ll enjoy my performance until the end. And the next song is..”

By the time, he caught Yunho gave him an encouragement by raising a thumb from the other side of the audience seats, VVIP seat. He was sure his Hyung already recognized his father presence. He nodded very lightly, “The next song is.. Dear Mom. By So Nyuh Shi Dae.”

The first strum was tender and cupping all of the audience’s attention. His fingers run smoothly, his mind was forgetting everything since he jumped his own soul to the running notes. He loved to do difficult and intricate intro, so he performed his another improvisation.

See this, Abeoji. See where my heart is upon.

But the amazed agapes across the room was turned into a fear. Hands and fingers closed the mouthes of anyone to hold the shriek, scream was everywhere. And Yong Hwa suddenly being pulled from the right direction, fell down from his chair, plummeted. His guitar flung down beside him, making the heavy sound.

But it actually wasn’t the sound of his falling. Then he saw the horrify view right some centimeters away in front of him. The moment, the view, he wouldn’t forget for his entire life.

It was his father lying flat on his stomach, being strucked by stage lamps and steel poles of lighting above his weak body. Bloody. The red blood was b throughout his head to back, to arms, to legs. He was bloody wet. There was a hole on his head, and the blood stream from that source.

Yong Hwa was frigthened like his soul being withdrawed to somewhere out of his body. All the bad things flying to pound his brain. The worst case, the lost of his father, being an orphans. The tear drops flew harder from his eyes, drenching his whole face. No. Not due to the concert again. Not due to his first concert ever.

He slowly reached his father who didn’t move even a bit. Trembling, he hold his father’s hand, calling abruptly like a mad while crunching next to him, “Abeoji, answer me. Abeoji. Abeoji!” His shaking voice went higher, together with the tears down running. “Please, answer me. Abeoji!” He concussed his father’s body to make him awake. But he found no response. Yong Hwa was crying, harder and harder.

Many people went up to the stage, removing the lamps and poles above the man. The shuddered Yong Hwa called his father unstoppably, until his voice went course. Nothing could release his fear anymore.

Suddenly he witnessed Jong Hang San opened his eyes eyes up, slightly. The middle-aged man murmured weakly, “Yong.. Hwa..”

“Abeoji!” Yong Hwa sat straightly, getting his soul in a little bit, “Do you hear me, Abeoji? Do you hear me?” He gripped his father’s hand tightly, never let it go from his clutch.

Jung Hang San put a frail smile across his face, “I’m relieved..” He then choked, getting hard to voice the words, “You’re fine..”

Then he closed his eyes as the grip on his hands loosened. Yong Hwa shaked his father’s body once again, and gained no reaction. He continued to call and call, but nothing occurred. “Abeoji!” The tears rolling down made many traces on his cheeks, branching everywhere, especially when emergency long board came to carry Jung Hang San’s body to the hospital.

He crunched there, didn’t have any energy to stand up. Until Yunho came to hug him, rubbing his arms tenderly while his own hands were shaking, “He will be okay. He will be okay.” The console voice from his hyung was always giving up the hope to him, but not for this time. “He will be okay.”

*&^%$#@

 

“It’s chomatose state.” The doctor said in the room, at center of Yong Hwa, Yunho, and Jung Lyn’s attention. “He lost so much blood and fluids due to the accident, and it broke the main artery which flows to his brain. Not just one arthery, but some artheries. It absolutely affects the nerves, primarily. So here, he lost consciousness.”

“When approximately he would awake?” Yunho asked.

“I can’t give you the exact date. He can be on this state through his entire life. All I can do is maintaining the main need of his body: oxygen, fluids, nutritions. Eventhough we should set some equipments throughout his body to help him alive.”

“Is anything can we do except that? How many percent he can be back as before?”

The doctor answered, “Taking care of his body will do. I can’t count the percentation. He bears heavy chomatose. It’s so relieved that he still stays alive on this state, honestly.”

The room was off. Yong Hwa sat down on the corner of the room, tear traces still remained on his face. He stayed mute all the way here.

“Since you decide to bring him home, I can do that. And I’ll set the equipments right away.” The doctor continued, “I’ll give you the medicine dose. Your family nurse will help you to take care of him.”

Jung Lyn and Yunho took a bow accompanying the doctor’s leaving, saying thankyou.

Silence surrounded the misery, heavy atmosphere around.

Jung Lyn then reached for Yong Hwa and suddenly slapped his right cheek, gaining a silence being cracked. Yong Hwa cringed in pain, but responded nothing.

“It’s because of you, Son.” Jung Lyn pointed Yong Hwa in aversion eyes, “If you followed your father command, he won’t come like this.” Her eyes were b with tears. “You bring bad luck!”

“Omeoni!” Yunho approached Jung Lyn and hold her arms not to raise up near Yong Hwa. Lowering down his voice, he whispered to her, “Please, stop. I beg you. Yong Hwa had a hard time, too, Omeoni.”

“You indirectly killed him, Jung Yong Hwa. I hate you.” Jung Lyn still went straight, ignoring Yunho. Her red eyes stabbed against Yong Hwa, madly and fiercely. “If he dies, you’ll regret your previous stubborn act.”

“Omeoni!” Yunho yelled out, getting fed up, “Don’t judge Yong Hwa in that way. It’s an accident, you can’t blame him.”

But Jung Lyn’s never heard Yunho. Her eyes jabbed Yong Hwa’s, “What will you do now? You have no idea how much your father loves you, but you just drown him into this state.” Jung Lyn’s growled, voice cracked in heavy hatred, “He just wanted you the best! You’re such a disobey boy!”

“Please stop.” Yunho resisted her not to reach Yong Hwa, as she gradually came to cry and screamed miserably. Regretting the situation, hating everyone, just like everyone. “Please, Omeoni, we can talk later.”

Yong Hwa suddenly got off and stood upright, making his way out.

“Where will you go?”

“I’ll do what must I do.” Then he opened up the door, walking away.

“Wait, Yong Hwa!” Yunho tried to restrained him but he was faster.

 

That woman was right. It’s all my fault.

 I recognized this since I saw Abeoji lying down to protect me. It’s all about my stupid passion, my useless hobby, my ego. Yong Hwa reached out his car, driving to the home abruptly and driving like crazy. It’s all my fault.

I killed Abeoji.

Then he parked his car randomly in front of the main house door, running to his father’s room, and grabbed a map on the table. Keio University application. He then backed to drive into the direction written on a piece of paper inside the map, his father’s relation.

He wanted me to study economic major in Japan. I should follow him.

I will follow what he said, because he was right. Having music passion is wrong. And due to that, I almost lost him. I was fool. Idiot monster. I have no face to appear in front of him. As a murderer? I’m afraid.

And he cried along the streets. His heart ached, he felt dark, only his father’s smile and face fulfilling his head.

He would live on his father’s persistent.  

My love to music, I will diminished it. He cried harder.

By hating it. By avoiding it. By erasing it out of my life.

[FLASHBACK ENDS]

He took another beer, and finally gulped it down straight from the bottle. He was drunken, and drowning himself on the sway of alcohol, releasing his pressures and stress.

The drops from his eyes rolled down as the last bottle was empty.

*&^%$#@

 

Seo Hyun hummed the Gee song after taking a fresh bath while she heard the doorbell rang. “Wait!” She yelled, as if the visitor could get her answer. She was on towel-dressed and wet hair being dried by the pink towel when she finally opened up the door. And what she reacted after meeting the guest was a full gape.

“Jung Yong Hwa-ssi?”

It was already midnight and was a total weird as a man visited her during this hour.

“Cancel it.” Yong Hwa murmured, sternly, “Your agreement with my brother.”

“Ne?” Seo Hyun blinked.

Then Yong Hwa dropped off his body, falling down just in time Seo Hyun caught his up. She was surprised, especially she smelled the strength of alcohol smell.

“Jung Yong Hwa-ssi? Jung Yong Hwa-ssi?”

But Yong Hwa produced no response.