Jongdae grabbed a glass of water before joining his family for dinner. He cocked his head as he settled in his seat when he heard his father laughing at the table. “What’s funny?”

“Your sister is having trouble deciding between what college she wants to go to, but her main concern was how the dorms looked and how many people she knew would be there,” his mother answered for his father.

“Ah, typical first world problems I see, Yerin.” Jongdae grinned cheekily at her.

“It matters! There are people that I’d really rather not see, and for one college the dorm was basically a closet! But, the other one required me to share a room… and I don’t like either situation.” Yerin stabbed a broccoli on her plate with a fork, munching thoughtfully.

Mr. Kim scooped up more vegetables onto his plate and added more to everyone else’s, much to Yerin’s protest. “Yerin, you’re going to school for your education! Whoever you hate shouldn’t matter, just don’t talk to them.”

“Ugh, dad, you don’t understand! Just seeing them would gross me out, and I need to socialize to have a healthy mental state!” She discreetly shoveled small amounts of vegetables from her plate to Jongdae’s.

“She does need to have some fun in college while she’s still young,” Mrs. Kim conceded.

“Not too much fun, okay? If you happen to get drunk, we can’t help you when college is hours away.” Mr. Kim gave her a stern look.

Yerin rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“Are you sure you like those colleges, sweetie? They’re far away from home, and we wouldn’t be able to see you often.” Mrs. Kim frowned at the idea of her daughter standing in her laundry room in college, unknowing that she mixed a color garment in the whites. She shuddered. “I worry you’ll need me when I can’t reach you.”

“I’ll be fine, mom,”  Yerin smiled at her mother.

“Oh, she’ll be so excited to get away from home, right Yerin?” Jongdae snickered, but then he grunted in pain. Yerin kicked him under the table. He rubbed his knee glumly.

“Don’t act like you won’t miss me, Jongdae. I know deep down you also don’t want your shining, talented, and perfect angel of a sister to leave you.” Yerin smirked smugly. “I’m done.” She lifted her plate from the table and placed it in the sink.

Jongdae stuck his tongue out, gaping when he looked back at his food. “Eh? Where did all these vegetables come fro – Yerin! How dare you!” He waggled his fork in the air towards the stairs. A faint giggle echoed from upstairs.

“You still need to finish those, Jongdae.” Mrs. Kim gathered her plate and utensils and excused herself from the table.

Jongdae groaned.

Jongdae laid in his bed. It was late and he should be sleeping by now, but he kept thinking about his sister. His mind jumbled with thoughts about the oncoming lack of his sister’s presence.

She drives me to school every day, so who’s going to take me now? I don’t have a license, and walking is too long and tedious from where I live. It’s not going to be as fun anymore if mom or dad takes me from and back.

Who’s going to play my favorite tunes in the car with me and occasionally treat me out for quick snacks?

Who will I annoy now? Who would playfully beat me up when I do? Who’s going to give me advice about school and relationships and –

Jongdae sniffed, a couple tears streamed down his cheeks. He fervently wiped them away with the back of his hand and stared at the ceiling. He’s probably overreacting, because his sister is literally a few meters away and she isn’t leaving until August. It’s January.

He was a creature of habit, he supposed. He’s formed a daily routine with her and he can’t shake the fact that something good for him would be gone. The idea that this routine would be broken and that he’ll be lonely at home without her random off-key singing or irritating screaming made him feel nauseous.

This dreadful feeling… he almost wanted to punch himself for being unnecessarily sensitive. Just thinking about what it would be like without her gone felt empty.

He thought about all the fun times he’s had with his sister growing up.

She’s already leaving for college. And I don’t want her to. I want to stay as kids or teens so that she wouldn’t leave.

But she’ll miss me too, right? She will visit and keep in touch with me. She won’t leave forever.

She’ll come back.

She’ll miss us.

It’ll be okay.

I will get used to it.

I will be okay…

He gasped.

I’m going to be the only child at dinner now! Their attention will all be on me!

Jongdae curled further into his duvet, crying softly so that his sister can’t hear him from the next room.

Yuji placed her tray in from to Jongdae’s seat. “Hey, Jongdae!”

“Hey,” Jongdae greeted quietly.

Yuji frowned. He was so gloomy.

Halfway through lunch, Yuji slammed her hands on the table, startling Jongdae.

“Alright, spill it. Something happened. You’re barely touching your food and you haven’t been able to look up all day.”

“Nothing happened,” Jongdae mumbled.

Yuji crossed her arms. “Whatever it is, I won’t judge you, so you can feel free to tell me.”

Jongdae pursed his lips. “My sister is graduating this year, so next year she’ll be leaving for college.”

“Does that upset you?”

“Yes. I don’t know why. Must be some younger child syndrome or something.” Jongdae scratched the back of his head.

“Were you guys close?”

Jongdae finally looked up at Yuji. “No, well, I mean yes, but… we weren’t exceptionally close that I just can’t live without her.”

Yuji huffed. “I think that just means you miss her.”

“Of course. But I can’t help but feel melancholy about it. I’m used to her constant presence in my life, and without it, it’ll just feel like something’s missing. Like a part of my day becomes emptier.” Jongdae pouted.

Yuji leaned over and patted him on the head. “It’ll be better. It sounds sad now, but later on you’ll get used to not having her around and feel better.” At least that’s what Yuji hoped would happen. She was an only child, so she couldn’t relate to how he was feeling but she tried her best to understand it. Yuji imagined having Yerin as a sister. Yerin is kind and dependable, and she guessed Jongdae had a close bond with Yerin since Yerin drove him to school daily. She felt secretly glad that she didn’t have any siblings, because she doesn’t even know what she’d be missing out on, and would definitely pass on feeling what Jongdae’s feeling now. “I’ll treat you to a smoothie after school today, okay?”

Jongdae hummed in acknowledgement.

Yerin looked up at the sound of a knock on her door. “Come in.”

“Hey, Yerin.” Jongdae leaped onto her bed, taking as much space of this bed as he could.

Yerin shoved his arm away; he was almost knocking her off the bed. “Ugh, I’m trying to study! Bug me later.”

Jongdae slowly retracted his body into the fetal position. “Would this make you feel better?”

“I guess,” Yerin sighed, returning her eyes back to her textbook. “I’d feel the best if you were to leave.”

Jongdae gasped dramatically. “Me? Leave? You want this delightful star to exit the premises? To dull at the idea of his sister kicking him out?”

Yerin smacked him on the back of his head. “Fine. Just don’t irritate me.”

Jongdae victory-punched the air. “Whoo-hoo!”

Jongdae played with his phone as his sister studied, tensing up whenever he felt like saying something but brushed it over.

“Jongdae?”

“Yeah?” He darted his eyes over to her.

“Which college do you think I should go to?” Yerin bit on the tip of her pencil.

“Whichever one you want.” Jongdae scrolled through his social media, but he wasn’t really focusing on what he was scrolling through. He bit his lip. “Are you… going to come home often?”

“Once a month, hopefully. Definitely for the holidays.” She glanced over at him, slightly raising the corners of lips. “Why? Are you going to miss me?”

“N-no! I’m glad to finally have peace and quiet!” He sputtered. He squirmed when Yerin yanked at a section of his hair.

Yerin clucked her tongue. “Typical brat.” She released his hair and resumed her studies.

Jongdae remained unmoving, losing his courage to tell his sister how he really felt.