The noise of slender fingers dancing over a black keyboard and a painfully slowly moving clock-hand were driving the pale boy crazy. Eyes darting from left to right without a specific focus as he prayed that the male in front of him won't ask anymore questions.

Not noticing that he kinda was ruining the leather chair with his sharp, nibbled-off finger nails, he closed his eyes for second, feeling his heart beating heavily in his aching chest.

Finally, the male stopped typing, making the boy open his eyes again in relief. Every week, every Saturday was a new struggle for him.

“Oh Sehun.” the man started, leaning backwards, causing a creaking sound.

He took off his rounded glasses and inhaled some air, crossing one leg over the other.

“I'm really sad to tell you that you didn't make any progress since two weeks. You should try harder. Well, but there isn't anything too serious.” he explained with a clear voice, adjusting his white coat.

How helpful, tard.

Sehun immediately stood up, wiping off the sweat he hadn't known his forehead was covered with.

Without looking back he left the cheerless room with the weird shrink inside, then being intercepted by one of the male nurses and brought to his room.

After the door being shut and locked behind his back, Sehun let out a heavy sigh, ruffling his own hair while hesitantly walking to his back, ignoring the intense stare of his room mate.

Even though it was early in the morning, he already felt exhausted and threw himself onto his uncomfortable bed.

Two months. He already spent two months in this bed, in this room with the male on the opposite of the room. Since his arrival he had probably exchanged two sentences with him; he couldn't even remember his name. It was weird, yes, but both of them seemingly just accepted it because none of them was willing to talk anyways.

Fortunately it was the weekend, which meant no group activities, no therapy period, nothing. Only an evaluation and probably visits of relatives. But who would come to visit him anyways? It wasn't that anybody was caring. Maybe it was better this way.

Tik...tok... Tik...tok...

The sound of the clock was making him nervous. It was the only thing he could hear. The windows were shut and behind bars.

Sehun wanted to sigh again but his room mate might have fallen asleep and he didn't want to wake him up. Silently he moved into a sitting posture and leaned over to look under his bed.

Pulling out a little box filled with the few things they were allowed to own, he noticed the boy staring at him again. So he isn't sleeping but watching me.

Ignoring him, he lifted the box and opened its lid and laid it down. He felt his back being covered with goosebumps when he took out a photograph, showing him and his old best friend. Hadn't he thrown that photo away the last time he had taken it out?

Jongin...

Sehun immediately felt embarrassed and his eyes watered. Suppressing his tears by blinking in high-speed he threw the photo away, not knowing where it landed.

The he saw what actually had been searching for. His notebook. A simple, black, hard-cover book.

These notebooks were given the patients to note down whatever they couldn't say out loud.

Sehun's was comparatively filled already. He was using it up to five times daily. There was simply too much going on inside of him.

Despite being exhausted, he always could find some energy to write down his thoughts.

13.04.12

My blood is red.

These walls are blue.

We'll all be dead.

Without a clue.

These kinds of poems were filling each and every page together with some messy sketches decorating them. Mostly writing down his regrets, Sehun had already filled half of the notebook.

Leaving some space under the new page, he added one sentence, which repetitively was haunting him.

I'm so ing sorry.

He once again wondered about what his life could have looked like if things would have happened in other ways. He wanted to blame everyone but in the end he kept blaming himself.

Angrily, Sehun shut the notebook, wiping of a tear which had managed to escape from his eye and threw it into the box.

Just when he had put it back at its place, the door was opened and a nurse entered. He had no time to over-think.

“Number 59. There is someone who wants to visit you.”

Obviously surprised, Sehun slowly made his way to the nurse who brought him to the visiting area.

His jaw dropped when he recognize a certain person sitting at one of the wooden tables, impatiently tapping one finger at the surface over and over again.

“Chanyeol!” he exhaled, already starting to cry when he fell into his old friend's arms.

Chanyeol hugged him as tight as possible, assuring him that he was finally here.

“I thought you forgot me.” he cried into the giant's chest.

It was the first time he saw Sehun crying and it simply broke his heart.

“I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do. Yeah you kinda told me everything but after your parent's visit and all of the arguments I was unsure if you ever would want to see me again...” Chanyeol rattled down in one run.

Sehun weakly slapped his friend's arm. “Idiot. Two months... I'm going crazy here and neither you nor Baekhyun are asking if I'm still alive.” he whispered, being calm again and slowly pulling away.

He hadn't wanted to lose control.

But Chanyeol was the only person who already had seen every single facet of Sehun beside Jongin. But Jongin didn't seem to care at all. He was probably happy that Sehun was out of the way now so that he could enjoy his free time with his . Sehun clenched his fists at the thought of the big-eyed .

They sat down and Sehun still couldn't believe there actually was someone who cared enough about him to visit him here, on the other side of the country.

Chanyeol couldn't help but stretch out his arm and caressed the other's cheek, which made him wince hard.

“The scar is still there, huh?” he whispered questioningly.

Sehun nodded absently staring at the other's worried face.

“Do you care?”

Chanyeol knitted his eyebrows at the sudden question.

“What?” he asked, taking his hand back.

“Do you care... about me?” Sehun repeated.

“Of course I do. We know each other for so damn long and I couldn't possibly let you down when you need me the most.” Chanyeol immediately answered.

“Knowing each other for a long time can't be an a reason. Jongin... knows me longer than you know me. Same with my parents. But does anybody of them care?” Sehun explained, not knowing what exactly he meant while talking. He felt absolutely absent.

Chanyeol seemingly wasn't pleased hearing those negative things from Sehun.

“Sehun, listen. I have talked to your parents. They are ashamed they put you in these circumstances but how could they know? They aren't in the condition to face you right now. But they don't regret their decision.”

While listening to Chanyeol's voice, more and more anger filled his chest and his eyes began to water again.

“Stop it.” he hissed.

“Sehun you can't keep blaming them. They are divorced for legitimated reaso-”

“Shut the up!” Sehun yelled, punching the table.

“Hey hey hey! What's going on here?” Suddenly, a nurse was standing next to them.

Chanyeol raised his hands in peace and Sehun breathed out.

“Nothing. Just remembered something.” Sehun muttered.

The nurse nodded, shooting an angry glare in Chanyeol's direction who quickly nodded in fear.

“I'm sorry.” Sehun suddenly whispered.

“It's okay. You are dealing with too much right now. And I kinda hit a wound point...”

There was a moment of silence before the giant decided to talk again.

“So, if it's okay, I would like to tell you about what your parents said.” he cautiously started.

“I don't want to know.” Sehun refused, crossing his arms.

“But your mother told me that she will do her best to always pay the costs for your residence no matter how long it takes.”

Sehun, who had opened his mouth to interrupt the other, simply closed it again and kept on listening.

“And even your dad apologized.”

“Can you tell them something?”

Chanyeol, of course, nodded his head in agreement.

Sehun leaned forward, his crossed arms laid onto the table, a creepy grin plastered on his face.

Chanyeol had taken out his phone, ready to note down whatever Sehun wanted to say.

“Tell them...” Sehun's grin grew.

“...That I ing hate them and that I'd rather have died than being their child.”

________________________________________________

Well... :D.... thanks to anyone who read until here and thanks again for all the support I've already received in my previous story.

It might be helpful to read the prequel (is that what it's called?) to gain some background information, but it's not 100% necessary.

There we have the first signs of a confused and agressive Sehun. What might have happened that Sehun hates his parentes so much?

Thanks for reading. I will try to update weekly, but I can't promise anything xD.

Chaeyo ♥