Okay, what. He slept with this guy before.

              Of course – it all makes sense now! That's why Jongdae looked really nervous to see him, that's why he kept blushing whenever they made contact! Surely this means he knows they've slept together before this... This is bad, isn't it?

              Zitao glances at the shorter male that's currently gripping his arm gingerly and tries not to lose his mind. But hey – maybe this isn't so bad. Maybe they can just forget whatever happened before this and perhaps start over. If neither of them mentioned anything about what happened on that specific night, things wouldn't be so awkward between them, right?

              Jongdae goes off with Lu Han to look at movie posters as they reach the cinema, leaving him with Sehun. They both pay for the tickets, the four (three, really) of them opting to watch a comedy movie because romance is simply too cheesy (despite their double date (and Zitao's protests)). The silence between him and Sehun allows him to ponder deeply on his thought as he turns his head to Lu Han before looking back at Sehun, biting his lower lip. Look at these two – they didn't even know each other before this, unlike him and Jongdae. How they met was how Zitao wanted to meet the love of his life, he doesn't want this one night stand that he and Jongdae were having.

              “So what do you think?” Zitao pipes up, nudging Sehun lightly in the ribs in favour of getting his attention. "About Lu Han?"

              “Lu Han?” Sehun responds, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck sheepishly, the look making him appear as a young high school kid that is in love. “He's... Cute.”

              Zitao snickers loudly at the response. “Can't deny that.”

              “He has a lot of things going on in that head of his and sometimes he just drives me crazy... But...” Zitao's mind couldn't even comprehend what Sehun is saying beyond that, drifting too far away as he finds himself staring at Jongdae, his small frame, the structure of his face. Jongdae too, at this moment, is driving him crazy. He already knows Jongdae way past his personality – he's touched him before, kissed him, maybe even held him and screwed the lights out of him.

              “What about you? What do you think about Jongdae?” The question pierces through the wide expanse of his thoughts, and he's not sure how to answer it because he doesn't know what to think of Jongdae. He can't even find the right words to say to reply to the younger male's question and before he knows it, Lu Han and Jongdae are with them again. Naturally, Jongdae goes to stand beside him and grip his arm again, and for some unknown reason it just feels odd, something is picking at his mind right now and it feels as if his nothing's falling into the right places. He takes a look at Jongdae again, takes in the calming expression that he is wearing.

              By the looks of it, Jongdae doesn't seem to make it a big deal. He does know, right? Unlike Zitao, he doesn't seem to be baffled by the fact that they've had a one night stand before, and Zitao can only think of two possible reasons for his behaviour. One, he probably doesn't remember that they slept together before, which Zitao highly doubts, or two, he does know but he chooses to ignore the fact.

              Despite that, Zitao adores how Jongdae is taking the situation right now. Jongdae doesn't know it, but Zitao is internally screaming, because this man that's gripping his hand right now isn't someone he's never met. This man isn't someone Zitao, in all his life, wanted to crash into. 

              “Hey, Zitao?” Jongdae suddenly calls out. Zitao snaps out of his thoughts and puts on a warm smile for the smaller one.

              “Yes, Jongdae?” He asks, tilting his head to the side, trying to appear calm.

              “I... I hope this isn't bothering you or anything...” He says, and Zitao is confused for a moment before Jongdae continues his sentence. “I mean... Lu Han's always setting me up with people and a lot of them don't really turn out well. The guys I've met in my life have been very complicated and things don't really go as good as I'd hope. I keep thinking it's because of this... I mean, in this case, it's the double date thing.”

              “He sets you up with people too?” Zitao quirks an eyebrow. “Nah, I'm totally fine with this.” He lies. “This definitely made me realize that I've never met Lu Han's roommate though.”

              Jongdae chuckles. “You're Lu Han's childhood friend, right? I'm surprised I've never met you too.”

              “Well,” Zitao shrugs as they entered the cinema. Things are getting dark and he turns to Jongdae – somehow it looks like he's glowing. “Here we are.” 

              Zitao feels Jongdae's hand tighten around his arm and the smaller male lowers his gaze to the floor. “Yeah... Here we are.” 

              By the time they finished watching the movie Jongdae decides it's time for him to go home. Lu Han and Sehun try to talk to him into staying, and Jongdae tells them that he's tired. Lu Han is persistent, so Zitao cuts in, tells them both that he'll walk Jongdae home. A smile spreads across Lu Han's face. “Okay. Just let me know if you've sent him home safely.” 

              “I will.” Zitao reassures him, and then turns to wrap an arm around Jongdae's waist as they part ways with Lu Han and Sehun. Jongdae stares at him wide-eyed, confused and surprised at the same time. 

              “Zitao, you really don't have to send me home... I'm fine.” 

              “No,” Zitao shakes his head. “I want to send you home.” Zitao just wants to talk to him about... Their one night stand. 

              However, a part of him is telling him to shut up, because things are going well for once, and talking about it will ruin everything. The other part of him is encouraging him to talk to Jongdae about it, because this one night stand thing is what's making things so awkward between them. He opts to talk to him while they're on the way home, but he finds himself nervous so in the end he decides to talk to Jongdae about it when they reach Jongdae's apartment. 

              When Jongdae opens his door, he turns around and Zitao is caught off guard by the twinkle in his eyes as he holds the doorknob, ready to shut the door. Zitao suddenly loses the courage to talk to him about the matter. 

              “So... Um...” Zitao says instead. “See you soon?” 

              Jongdae smiles ar him, cheeks tainted in a soft shade of pink but his eyes look sad. “Yeah, you too, Zitao.” 

              And he waits until the shorter male shuts the door to his apartment. Zitao sighs heavily, because he likes Jongdae, but oh God, he can't do this. 

              He really likes Jongdae, but he can't – they started off as one night stands, and Zitao can't see him differently because of that. He doesn't want that. It's not Jongdae's fault – it's his – he can't do this. He can't go on like this with the thought of them having a one night stand together kicking persistently at the back of his head, making him feel bitter about their current situation. 

              He wants to end this. He doesn't want to see Jongdae anymore.

~

Jongdae knows. 

              Initially the date went really well, yet at some point everything goes downhill. Not in a wild way, but Jongdae was sure Zitao was acting differently, as if he was feeling uncomfortable around him. Jongdae had suspected that Zitao found out about their two night stand, and immediately it felt as if he had lost all hope. Things were going so well, and yet this two night stand thing ruined everything. 

              He knows it has something to do with the two night stand. Perhaps something he said triggered a memory in Zitao’s mind and caused him to just freak out and ruin the date. Jongdae had asked to leave early during the date because he knows Zitao couldn’t keep up with him anymore. He wanted to leave then and there but Zitao just had to send him off. 

              The walk on the way home had an awkward feeling to it. Jongdae insisted multiple times that Zitao didn’t need to send him off but for some unknown reason he was persistent, said, “I can’t let my date walk home alone.” Jondae wanted to run off and leave him behind but the male kept a hand wrapped around his waist, and as much as Jongdae didn’t want to admit it he actually liked the warm press of their bodies together. 

              He wanted to tell Zitao to just cut it out. To just tell him right to his face that he didn’t have to act like he didn’t know about the two night stand but the taller male looked like he had a lot of things going on in his mind that Jongdae was afraid of bothering him. 

              Jongdae wanted to do a lot of things. He just didn’t have the courage to do it. 

              “Here we are.” 

              The words ring in Jongdae’s head a number of times. He’s so tired of it, because if he were to look back at it, he’s hung up over Zitao. He doesn’t want to be done with the taller male and yet he knows Zitao wants to stop seeing him. He’s been on a lot of dates where Lu Han sets him up with someone, and he’s been on too many of them to know that if he has a hunch, he’s always right. Zitao doesn’t want to see him anymore. Jongdae wants to deny it but it’s the truth – it’s reality. 

              That’s where they are. 

              It hurts him that way. He can’t even look Lu Han in the eye when he returns home from his date, and fortunately Lu Han gets the message that he didn’t want to talk about it. The annoying part about this is that he can’t get his mind off of it. He just wants to forget, he just wants to erase the memory, get Zitao out of his mind. Zitao doesn’t want anything with him, so why should he want him? 

              So what’s the best way to get Zitao out of his mind? 

              Jongdae’s mind is drifting far away that he can’t even understand what Lu Han is saying at the moment. He knows Lu Han is talking, but Jongdae can’t be bothered by it, he wants to get over Zitao as quickly as he can. 

              It would be too soon to get laid again. Then again if he doesn’t get laid he’d be more upset than ever, and Jongdae doesn’t want Zitao in his mind, bothering him. 

              Time to get laid. Again.

~

On the next day, Baekhyun talks to him about it. 

              “How was the date?” He asks in a form of greeting when Zitao enters the clinic. Zitao is unable to stop the heavy sigh that escapes him, making Baekhyun raise his browse in surprise. “What happened?” 

              Zitao sighs again. “I found out that he was my one night stand.” He brings a hand up to his face and rubs his face. 

              “Your one night stand?” Yixing repeats. Zitao believes that this isn’t the best way to start his day. 

              “Yeah.” Zitao nods his head, moving his hand to rub the back of his neck. “Remember when we went out to the club to celebrate Sehun’s first day? That was when we had our one night stand.” He avoids eye contact from the two males. He honestly can’t believe he doesn’t remember Jongdae’s face after their one night stand. Really, how can he forget such a beautiful face? 

              “Wait, Lu Han did set you up with Jongdae, right?” Baekhyun asks, and Zitao furrows his brows in confusion. 

              “How did you know Jongdae?” 

              Baekhyun looks at him incredulously. “He's my friend? Zitao, I've set him up with you before, remember?” 

              “What?” 

              “Your first one night stand? I texted you his name – I even sent you a picture of him.” 

              “Hold on,” Zitao stops him, pressing his fingers against the side of his forehead. The series of coincidences is leaving him overwhelmed. “Are you saying I slept with him twice?” 

              Baekhyun nods his head, “I'm pretty sure that's the reason why Lu Han set you up together on the double date.” 

              “How can you even forget how he looked like, Doctor Huang?” Yixing pipes up beside Baekhyun. 

              “I was drunk!” Zitao exclaims, suddenly getting worked up. “I don’t remember stuff when I’m drunk okay! In fact, that’s the exact reason why I got drunk in the first place! I didn’t like the idea of one night stands and I wanted to forget about it!” He ruffles his hair and drops his head on the reception desk. He could feel Yixing reaching his hand out to pat his shoulder. 

              “This isn’t making things any better between me and Jongdae.” He mutters under his breath. “I’ll just get back to online dating or something. Or maybe just wait for my future lover to walk into my life again. Whatever. Just... Not Jongdae.” 

              When he lifts his head from the desk he doesn’t miss the disappointed look in Baekhyun’s eyes. 

              The young receptionist walks into his office when he’s free, asking him about the double date they had the day before. “Lu Han was asking if you’d like to see Jongdae again,” He says, and Zitao really blames himself for being such a romantic. 

              “Look, Sehun, I’m sorry. Tell Lu Han I said that.” Zitao shakes his head. “Things didn’t go well at one point and I don’t want to look back at it. Please tell him that.” 

              Zitao has no doubts that Sehun doesn’t understand him, but he ignores that. For now he needed to focus on doing his job.

              Lu Han is the last person he wants to see that day.

              When he returns to his apartment, Lu Han is in his kitchen, eyes scanning the food Zitao has in his refrigerator and Zitao isn't even going to question how he got into his apartment again. He refrains himself from sighing and moves to sit on his sofa, ing the first few buttons of his dress shirt in favour of getting comfortable. He takes his phone out and Lu Han goes to sit beside him a few minutes later, a bag of chips in his hands. Zitao really doesn't want to talk to him at the moment, he knows Lu Han's going to ask him about the double date but there's no way getting out of it.

              “...Care to explain what happened between the two of you yesterday?” He asks, stuffing a handful of chips into his mouth.

              Zitao shrugs, not even looking up at Lu Han to look him in the eye. “Nothing happened.”

              “Nothing?” Lu Han repeats. “I asked Jongdae yesterday and he wouldn't even talk to me. There's definitely something. What happened?”

              Zitao acknowledges the serious tone he uses and knows that this is one of the moments where Lu Han takes everything seriously now. “Look.” He begins, finally lifting his head to meet Lu Han's angry eyes. “I found out that he was my one night stand, I didn't like the idea and I... I didn't really say anything but I think he may have noticed how uncomfortable I was with the idea.”

              “Why are you uncomfortable?”

              “You know why I'm uncomfortable. I never agreed to one night stands on my profile, and in my situation right now, two night stands does not make it any better.”

              Lu Han doesn't say it, but Zitao knows he's disappointed and averts his gaze from the older male once more. From all their years of friendship, Zitao has never seen him look so defeated. “Zitao, stop being such a romantic.” Lu Han says, “You and Jongdae just had before you met formally, why is that such a problem?”

              “You know me, Lu Han.” Zitao replies, “I am a romantic, I prefer talking before getting comfortable with anyone.”

              “But can't you just ignore the fact that you slept with each other?” Lu Han questions. “If you forget about what happened, can't you start over?”

              Zitao considers it, but he shakes his head at the question and covers his face with his hands. “I can't, Lu Han. I can't. I can't look at Jongdae any different and that's bothering me. If you have a problem with my preference then don't force me into this.”

              The silence is a confirmation that Lu Han is irritated with him. Zitao utters a sigh and walks over to his kitchen as an attemt to avoid any more conversation with the older male. Momentarily, he hears the door shut, and it's at this point that Zitao just knows Lu Han's getting tired of his romantic self.

A/N: so like.... how long has it been.. . . ... i'm so sorry omg i hope you enjoy this pls don't be disappointed in me omf