“Who was that?”

                Jongdae looks back at the male holding his waist and pouts, “That was Zitao.” He replies, hoping that the male gets the message that he doesn't want to talk any more about a particular Huang Zitao.

                “He told me you guys were just friends.” The male adds.

                “And we are!” Jongdae says, his voice suddenly raising a pitch higher. The male gives him an unamused look as they head back to the sofa and Jongdae sighs defeatedly. He always has a way to get under Jongdae's skin. “Lu Han set us up together once,” He finally tells him. “But it didn't turn out well.”

                The male beside him nods his head in understanding, and thankfully he doesn't question him anymore. His relationship with Zitao has gone far too complicated and he's completely aware of Zitao's use of the word 'friends', which was something that they were not even close to. “Don't worry about it,” Jongdae assures him, “I'm pretty sure we won't be doing anything together after all that.”

                He receives a sincere smile in return, and he lies his head on the other's shoulder. It's unsual for him to suddenly get worked up – both of them are very cautious about their relationship. They've already had a talk about it the day after they had the one night stand, and they agreed that nothing between them is serious, yet they like to pretend that the relationship is serious – they play around, they go to each other's places, be there for each other, and when they decide to leave each other's lives it shouldn't be that big of a deal.

                A few hours into the movie, the man excuses himself for a while, and Jongdae lifts his head from the man's shoulder. “Gonna get a drink from the frigde. You want anything?” 

                “No, I'm fine.” He replies, eyes fixed on the movie playing.

                “Anyways,” Jongdae hears him speak up, and he picks up a handful of popcorn. “I've been thinking about... Going out to dinner... With you. My treat.”

                Jongdae is still silent, so engrossed on the film that he sinks in his seat before saying anything. “You know, that sounds really cool and all but I don't see the fun... in it...” The smaller male pulls himself up in his seat again, turns his head to the taller male, then grabs more popcorn before stuffing them into his mouth.

                “Well,” Jongdae hears him murmur as he laid his palm flat against the kitchen counter, leaning in. “We could order some food and you know... Talk.”

                Jongdae sighs out loud and rolls his head on his shoulder dramatically, entirely clueless of what the other male is suggesting. “I don't know,” He says, then meets the hopeful eyes before realizing what the male had just said. “Wait. Are you asking me out on a date?”

                The taller male smiles warmly at him. “Will you go with me?”

                “You're kidding, right?”Jongdae looks back at him with his eyes wide, searching for answers but what he gets is nothing but hope. “Babe, you're serious?” He asks. He thought that the relationship he had with the male was nothing serious, he thought they were nothing more than friends with benefits or something but here he is, getting asked out on a date and Jongdae begins to question their relationship all over again. “I-I mean... I... S-sure, I'd love to.” The corners of his lips curl into an amused smile, and Jongdae suddenly feels as if his whole world has lighten up. 

~

If anything, Zitao just wants to see Liyin.

                Going on a third date already, Zitao finds himself eager to see the lady, wanting to tell her that he wants to be official with her, he wants to spend his life with her. That explains the reason why he's fidgeting in his seat, nervous, ocassionally receiving worried looks from the waiter but Zitao tries his best to ignore them all, too busy thinking about what to say when the time comes.

                When she does show up, however, Zitao can't even fathom a word. She looks stunning as always, and Zitao takes her to her seat, smiles warmly at her like she's his whole world. She begins the conversation, talks about something funny that happened at work that day and Zitao listens as usual, leans in towards the table as he tries to find the right time to tell her.

                “Oh, so you actually did it?” Zitao asks, amused, and she laughs, nodding her head.

                “I did!” She says, then continues to laugh. Zitao takes a deep breath before she tells him another story. As she builds up her story, something catches Zitao's eyes and he sees a familiar man enter the restaurant, speak to a waiter before another familiar looking man enter after him. 

                In that moment Zitao's full attention is diverted away from his date and towards the couple who had just entered the restaurant. Jongdae is with the same man Zitao saw in his apartment a few days ago, and there is a protective hand on the small of Jongdae's back as they head over to their table. Zitao, completely distracted by the two, doesn't realize that he's scowling at the sight of the man pulling a seat for Jongdae before going to his own, and it takes a tap on the back of his hand for Zitao to finally turn back to Liyin.

                “Is something wrong?” She asks. Zitao barely even registers what was going on until she gives him a worried look.

                “Oh, no, nothing.” He shakes his head. “You were saying something about your friend?”

                Liyin gives him an unconvinced look, but she continues her story anyway. “Yes, she said it wasn't a big deal, but I don't believe her, you know?”

                Zitao nods his head in understanding, tries to put in a lot of effort in not getting distracted again. He gives her his full attention but when he hears Jongdae's laugh in the distance he's snapping his head to the smaller male again, all thoughts he had before this completely gone and he can't think straight anymore. Jongdae's smiling, blushing, he looks happy, and Zitao feels as if an arrow and struck straight into his chest, stopping any blood circulation that he can't breathe.

                “I'm sorry, I'm losing you, Zitao.” Liyin says, and Zitao immediately sighs at himself, feeling disappointed. He knows a woman like Liyin is quite a catch, and he should feel lucky about being able to spend some time with her but all he's doing is getting distracted. He lowers his head, avoids eye contact with Liyin because he's so ashamed with himself. This is not how he usually behaves in a date.

                “No, I'm sorry.” Zitao apologizes. “My head is somewhere else.”

                “Is that him?” She asks. Zitao raises his head and looks at her with questioning eyes as she points at Jongdae. “Is he your ex or something?”

                “Oh, no...” Zitao shakes his head. It's strange to talk about something like this when he's having a date right now, but for some reason Liyin leads him on, and Zitao doesn't exactly stop himself. “We had one date together... Then I found out he was my one night stand and... I guess I didn't like the idea.”

                “Why not?” She asks. Zitao is surprised at how cool she is with the situation.

                “Have you met me?” Zitao tries to joke, “I'm a romantic. I'm not into one night stands, you know?”

                “There's nothing wrong with that,” She explains, “Listen, it's like trust. You had his trust when you had that one night stand, and assuming that you're the one who called it off, that basically means you're the one who broke the trust.” 

                “Wait...” Zitao stops for a moment and looks into her eyes. “You're not angry?”

                Liyin sighs, “No. If that's the person you truly want to spend your life with, who am I to stop you?” She smies. Zitao considers her words, wonders if he does want to spend his life with Jongdae. Initially, he wanted to stop seeing Jongdae, but now, he isn't even sure anymore. 

                “I'll walk you home.” Zitao tells her, and they continue their date for the time being. When they finish, Zitao takes one last glance at Jongdae and holds his hand out to Liyin so she could grip it. During the walk home, the atmosphere between them suddenly gets awkward, and Zitao knows this is all his fault but he can't help but think about what he feels about Jongdae for now. Their walk home is quiet because of this, and Zitao believes he's probably the worst date anyone like Liyin's probably had, however she wasn't complaining.

                By the time they reach her home she turns to him and gives him a comforting hug. “Don't worry about me,” She tells him. “I can only wish that you'll be happy when you finally get to be with the person you love.”

                The one he loves? Zitao hugs her tightly, shuts his eyes as the tears threated to spill. All he can do is apologize. “I'm sorry, Liyin. I hope we can still keep in touch.”

                She chuckles softly, as if she wasn't bothered at all, and pulls away from the warm hug. “You still have my number, right?” She asks playfully, and Zitao appreciates her effort in trying to lighten the mood. “Just call me if you need anything.”

~

In the follwing week, Zitao finds himself walking to Jongdae's apartment.

                He thought of the possibilities, of what would happen if he went there, what would happen if he wasn't alone, but the one thing he is sure of is that he wants to see Jongdae. All this time, he thought that not seeing Jongdae was the best decision ever, he could continue his life normally and hope for his one true love to bump into him any time now but Liyin's words made him see everything differently. 

                She was right, maybe he did break the trust, and maybe Jongdae was disappointed in him for that. Thing is, maybe he just wants to regain that trust, apologize to Jongdae for being a jerk. Then that settles it, he's going to Jongdae's apartment, apologize to him, and just be friends with him again so nothing will be awkward between them.

                Zitao could see the surprise in Jongdae's eyes when he opens the door only to find him standing expectantly on the doorstep. He just really wants to see Jongdae and lift the weight and guilt that's been on his shoulder for the past few days. Jongdae is clueless, and Zitao couldn't really blame him for it – he showed up at his place unannounced, and considering the things that's happened between them Jongdae probably didn't see this coming.

                “Um, can I help you?” Jongdae speaks out, and Zitao can tell that he's nervous too. He shakes his head at Jongdae's question.

                “It's... Are you alone?” He asks instead.

                “Oh... Um, yeah,” Jongdae replies, obviously caught off guard by the question. “Lu Han's out for work.”

                “Can I come in?” He asks, trying to hide the sound of hope that he has but he can see the slightest bit of hesitation in Jongdae's eyes. The smaller male bites his lower lip and averts his gaze from Zitao as he ponders about the question before shifting to the side. Zitao gives him a small smile and walks inside, hands in his pocket.

                “Do you want a drink?” Jongdae asks, shutting the door behind him and walking towards the kitchen. Zitao followed him and stands awkwardly in the kitchen, shoulders stiff.

                “There's no need for drinks,” Zitao assures him, and Jongdae stares at him.

                “Okay,” He mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. It's funny how Jongdae tries to look at him like nothing ever happened between them, as if they had no history together. Jongdae stares at him with an effort to not think about the two night stand, and Zitao notices this just by looking into his eyes. It's not hard to miss, because he's doing the same thing. Both of them are probably thinking about the same thing whenever they see each other. 

                The atmosphere begins to get uncomfortable and Zitao clears his throat. “I...” He began, “When I came here the other day... Are you seeing that guy?”

                Zitao could see the surprise in Jongdae's eyes when he asked that. “Y-yeah...” He replies anyway.

                “How did you guys meet?” He asks, curious. It takes a while for Jongdae to reply.

                “He was my one night stand.”

                The reply hits Zitao like thunder crashing to the ground, and Zitao's whole world shakes violently in his head that it takes a moment for him to realize that he isn't dreaming. What Jongdae had said makes him think about what could've happened between them, and Zitao knows better than the two of them that it was him that didn't allow it.

                Jongdae intertwines his fingers together as he stands in front of Zitao and gazes down at his feet with a heavy weight over his shoulders. He knows how much the reply affected Zitao, and he isn't sure why he feels guilty about the whole thing.

                Before he knows it, Zitao is walking up to him, and Jongdae is quick to realize that so he backs up, maintaining eye contact with the taller male as he speeds up. His hips hit the kitchen counter and immediately Zitao's hands reach out so he can lay his palms on the counter, caging Jongdae's hips, making him unable to escape. Jongdae notices that, but he locks his eyes at Zitao, the serious look in his eyes as he presses his lips into a thin line, his brows creasing as if he is holding something back.

                Jongdae would normally push him away in his current situation but something was stopping him, telling him to wait for a moment and listen to what he has to say. This was the closest he's ever been to Zitao ever since their date, and he isn't sure what he thinks about the sense of familiarity and nostalgia overcoming him. He wants to stay in Zitao's arms – no, he doesn't, he really doesn't–

                “Jongdae,” Zitao calls, his voice gentle, in control, sending shivers down Jongdae's spine. “You...” He leans in, “You know who I am, don't you?”

                “What?” Jongdae breathes out, his shoulders stiffening with tension. Zitao is unbelievably close to him. “What do you mean?”

                “Cut the act, Jongdae.” He says through gritted teeth. The taller male shuts his eyes, lowers his head and Jongdae catches the irritated look on his face. He is surprised at what Zitao is doing, and he isn't certain about what he should do with the taller male. Instead, he extends his arms so he could hold Zitao's shoulders in hopes of helping him get a grip of himself.

                “What are you talking about?” Jongdae asks, “Get it together, Tao. What are you talking about?”

                Zitao lifts his head at the question and suddenly their noses are touching, their faces close, their lips barely in contact. Jongdae begins to wonder when they've gotten this close to each other, he can hear Zitao's breath like this, count the lashes on his eyes. A part of him wants to push the taller male away, but a part of him also wants to stay like this. Jongdae is in a battle with his feelings, and he can't tell which side is winning, which side is dominating. Zitao's eyes stare back at him, and Jongdae could see the anger in his eyes, the uncertainty, the confusion.

                That was all he could take in before Zitao presses their lips together. The kiss was soft and delicate, deep, and Jongdae could feel Zitao's tongue swipe across his lower lip, silently asking for permission. Jongdae honestly doesn't know what's making him do it but he opens his mouth, feels Zitao's tongue exploring the seams of his lips before the kiss begins to get heated. Before he knows it Zitao's arms wrap itself around his waist, easily lifting him up to the kitchen counter and reaching down to wrap Jongdae's legs around his waist.

                “Zitao–” Jongdae calls in the midst of their heated kiss. The kiss gets hot and demanding, and Jongdae uses all the strength he has in him to push Zitao away, rear his hand back before slapping the taller male hard on the cheek. “Zitao!”

                Said man has a hand over his reddening cheek, and Jongdae's hands dive up to cover his mouth in shock. Jongdae isn't sure what to feel right at that moment – happiness, shock, nostalgia – yet all his emotions hit him at the same time that he just cries right there in front of Zitao. Fat tears fall down his cheeks and Zitao stands there with shame, unable to explain himself.

                “What is this, Zitao?” Jongdae manages, and Zitao ruffles his hair in frustration. “You never wanted me back then. Why now?”

                Zitao takes a step back from Jongdae, and he ducks his head, can't even bring himself to look at Jongdae in the eye now. “I'm sorry, Jongdae.” He apologizes, “I came here to apologize. I wanted to tell you how much I felt bad for being a jerk when I made it clear that I didn't want to see you anymore but I don't know. I don't know why I'm doing this. For some reason I thought I was already firm with it from the start – I didn't want to see you anymore after the double date, but the next thing I know, I saw you with someone else, and I couldn't stop thinking about you and I don't know anymore.”

                Jongdae wipes the tears away with the back of his hand and opens his mouth to say something, but what Zitao says next makes him speechless. “Just seeing you – it felt like nothing mattered anymore.”

Jongdae stared at him through the tears in his eyes, and he can't even think of what to say to that. Zitao stares at him with anger and somewhat confusion in his eyes, and he heaves a sigh, apologizes to him again before he leaves the apartment. Jongdae can't even believe what just happened.

A/N: pls kill me im such a bad author