Ephemeral By: FusionSpeaks. Title 5/5: I like the different kinds of titles, it just makes it sound much more interesting, and unique.

Poster 3/5:  I honestly think your poster could use a bit more touch-ups, and it looks very poorly done...

Description & Foreword 9/10: One thing that i would get ride of in your foreword is the "I know you want to kiss me."
"Do you really want me to kiss you here?" Part and put it just underneath your description, since it's still kind of part of your story description. The foreword is just for author notes, which i think i mentioned last time~
Layout 5/5: Your story is very organized and neat~

Characterization 13/15: You are very deatiled with your characters! Which is a very good thing, and you should keep it up. I liked the way you detailed your characters, but i would suggest putting in a bit more details, since it really only explains what the character is doing. I would put in more details about how he's feeling, what he's doing, what he's looking at, etc.

Plot 28/30: Like i said above, you need to focus on more details about their surroundings and feelings. It helps inprove in your writing skills, makes the story more interesting and the chapters will be longer.

Grammar and vocabulary 15/20: You had a few vocabulary mistakes example: "Why are you taking my photos?" Should just be "Why are you taking my picture?" Since photo's is just a different way of saying Picture