The pretty guy felt so light and dizzy. His vision was blured, but the fact is he can’t see anything. It’s all dark and quiet. No sound, no light, no anyone, no anything. It’s just him and the darkness. The coldness touched his skin and get into his bones roughly.

Am I die?

In his half-unconsciousness, Joan tried to remembered what happened before.

Joan was layin on his bed, dying. There are no food got into his stomach since that day he knew about his lover’s death. His bestfriend, Montaigu, was there brought a plate of food and tried to feed him couple of times, but failed.

He just wanted to die.

“My brother need me at home. Please don’t think to kill yourself. I’ll be back here soon”

It’s the last words Joan heard from Montaigu before the tall guy leave him. Now he was alone again and he felt more sick than before. He stared at nowhere with the tears still in his eyes.

Josh was died.

Joan still can’t accepted the reality.

That he lost his lover.

That he would never see him again.

His own thought brought the tears to falling down. He cried hard. Now no one will wipe his tears away. No one will call him with a sweet name. No one he can rely his life on. He was alone now.

I want to meet you again, my love.

It’s the only thing Joan asked for his life, eventhough he knew that is impossible to be true. The dead one would never life again, right?

Suddenly Joan’s eyes catched a light from the corner of his room. He stopped from his crying and turned his head to the source of the light.

The silver ring on his statue’s finger shone really bright.

Joan’s forehead furrowed. What is that light?

The ring shone brighter and brighter until Joan’s eyes can’t hold it anymore. He placed his hand to covered his eyes and shuted his eyes down.

His vision becoming dark.

That is the last thing he could remembered and that scenes felt like happened a long time ago. Now here he is. Floating around weakly in the darkness without knowing what was going on. He thought that he was died, but he still can felt the air through his nose and down to his lungs. He still breathed. He still can felt his heartbeat. He still alive. Joan was confused and scared at first, but to think that he was already dying before, now he doesn’t care anymore. He just let his destiny to leads him anywhere, if he really should go somewhere. And somehow it made him a bit more relaxed.

Joan really doesn’t understand what happened. Sometimes he found himself awake in different places. Once, he opened his eyes just to met with two pairs of blue eyes and pale skin in front of him. He was layin on something hard and that two people watching him from above. One of them, a woman with blonde hair brushed his face with something tickling. Another blonde one, a man who just observed him and wrote something on his note. It’s the first time Joan saw this kind of people. All of his people have brown or black eyes and hair. Their eyes also a bit small, while these people's eyes are big. Seeing these kind of people gave him a strange feeling and also scared.

Another time, he wake up in different place and saw a lot of people in front of him. That people just staring him with curious eyes. Some of them holding someting that create a flash, and that really made him dizzy.

The last time he could remember, he wake up in the similar place, but nobody was there. The room was almost dark, but the moonlight enter through the glass window, and it made him saw his surrounding better. There is a lot of statues, painting on the wall, glass boxes with something inside it, and many more. The most confusing part about that is he can’t moved his body even a bit, and he can’t let out his voice. Not cared how hard he tried to move or spoke, it’s never worked.

In the end, he always cameback to the darkness where he’s floating around lifeless like now. The quite, cold, and dark place. He doesn’t know how long he was been here, but it really felt like forever. He started getting sicked of this place. He sicked of the darkness. He sicked of the quiteness. He sicked of the coldness. He getting sicked all of it until he hope he would just die instead. He was so frustated.

Please just kill me.

In the middle of his frustation, Joan can hear the sound of a crying baby. He was shocked, but searched the source of the sound immediately. Finally he can hear something in this place.

The light suddenly appeared and he can see the view of a new-borned baby crying hard in front of him. It really made Joan surprised, but touched and happy at the same time. He want to touched the baby and cared him. Not long after, the view of that baby change become a toddler reading something and laughing afterward.

Such a handsome toddler. Joan smiled himself. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he felt happy to see the view.

The toddler grew up become a kid. He tread something round under his foot and tried to kicked it. He was running around and fall down in the end.

The kid grew up become a teenager. He hold something big with strings in it. He placed his fingers on some strings and strums it. He was singing afterward.

Joan’s smiles fade away slowly. That face looked really familiar to him.

The teenager grew up become a handsome man. He was walking with something flashing in his hand.