you’re going to be fine. and so will he. 

you know that.

you know that, yet the familiar sting in your eyes comes and your vision blurs. there’s a lump in your
throat and the more you try to ignore it, the more bothersome it becomes. your lips are in a thin line,
fingers pressed against them in hopes of suppressing the sob that threatens to leave. 

you don’t want to cry. and neither does he– but tears run down cheeks and goodbyes refuse to be said.

“don’t be sad,” you say, “it won’t be long.”

but seungkwan can’t contain the tears. it’ll be months before he’ll see you again and the thought brings
an incredible amount of pain. he can’t find any words to say; time is ticking and there’s only minutes left
before the group has to depart.

your body feels like lead; movements are slow and take more effort than ever before, but the moment your
arms reach out to him, he has you in a tight embrace.

“i’m not sad.” he mumbles between sniffles and his heart feels lighter when he hears your quiet laughter.

time is up. and you don’t want to let go. the members call for him and with reluctance, his arms fall to his side
once more. a deep inhale– then eye contact. there is grief in his expression, but determination begins to surface.
he feels silly for crying– so he won’t anymore.

“i’ll come back soon.”

you only nod; your mind refuses to come up with anything to say. maybe it’s better that there’s no real goodbyes.
so he nods and takes another deep breath, then turns on his heels.

he leaves.

and you watch. with each step he takes, the overwhelming sense of sorrow only grows. and finally, you speak.

“i’ll miss you.”

and no one is there to hear you.

but a bittersweet smile falls upon your lips–

because you know he’ll miss you too.