he is tired.

everything seems to happen all at once; he is always on the move, never able to take a moment to relax.
he loves his job. he loves his brothers. being the leader is a great role– but there’s a weight on his shoulders
and sometimes it’s so heavy that it’s unbearable.

“hey.”

his voice is worn and deeper than usual over the phone; you struggle to fully awaken at first,
though your senses become alert when you recognize that something is wrong.

“seungcheol?” 

your voice is light and afraid– and he hates that he’s disrupting you. he hates that he’s being inconsiderate
and waking you in the late hours, but there’s something in hearing you say his name that almost makes him
break down but at the same time feel better.

“i’m sorry for waking you–” he pauses and it’s like everything he wanted to say has completely disappeared
from his mind. “sorry.” he says again. because he doesn’t even know why he’s calling anymore.

“it’s alright.” you respond in a gentle tone. there’s such weariness in his voice and you know the moment you
hear it that he has a heavy heart. and you know that he wants to tell you everything that’s going on but his thoughts
are hazy and he doesn’t want to break– not now. 

but you know that he is put at ease whenever you speak.

“can i tell you about my day?”

he can almost hear the smile on your face and it makes his lips curl slightly– he answers and you tell of your
mundane stories that are so normal yet you manage to breathe life into them. he makes small comments
here and there and clings to your every word; you can imagine the amusement on his face.

but eventually, he goes completely quiet. his name is spoken softly in a questioning tone and silence is received–
only the sound of his breathing fills your ears.

fingers hold the phone tighter and you force a smile despite the yearning that clutches to your heart.

“you’re doing well.” the words are barely above a whisper and it feels too difficult to talk any louder. 
“you’re working hard every second of your life and i know it isn’t easy– but i know you can handle anything that comes your way.”

a pause–

“i miss you a lot, seungcheol.”

– then the familiar feeling of the unwanted lump in your throat.

“good night.”

and you end the call.