You still remain as a strong afterimage, a flashback

It was an October night when Ae Sook woke up the first time alone. She was five at the time, and like a normal child, woken by a nightmare, she reached for her parents. 

Yet, only cold air greeted her cries, so she got off her bed and went in search of them.

Trying her best to evade the looming shadows that sat against the walls, she walked quickly into their room. She called out for her parents a couple of times, quietly at first, but with rising panic once every beat of silence resounded and every lurking shadow crept closer. She hugged her bunny tighter to her chest as she continued to venture into their room. Her small hands searched for the warmth of bodies or even a lasting imprint that showed that they were there, but the bed was as cold as the air outside. And soon, the chill got to her too.

Her small feet padded down the hallway and down the stairs, disrupting the shadows that were watching her. She ran faster, around the kitchen, through the living room, and then to the front door where she stopped.

Ae Sook stared at the looming piece of wood, the one that made her feel so safe before, but now made her trapped, caged, vulnerable.

She knew they would never leave her. She knew. But why weren’t they there?

She began to wring the bunny’s torso in her hands, the fear getting to her. The shadows started to come alive again, inching up on her, the blackness filling her mind when suddenly, the front door opened outwards, revealing light against a tall figure.

All the shadows dispersed, and that’s when she saw her mom’s face. All the fear left her chest and tears of relief came to her eyes. She began bawling, and not at the shadows, but at the possibility of what could’ve happened to her parents. Immediately, her mom picks her up and begins to her hair as Ae Sook buries her face into her shirt. The little girl lets the bunny fall to the floor as she grips onto her mom so tight that her little knuckles turn white.

“Shhh, it’s alright. Mommy’s here, don’t cry. We didn’t leave you. You know we never would.” Her mom stands there for a couple of minutes, Ae Sook’s hair and rocking her back and forth before the sniffles begin to disappear one by one. Ae Sook lifts her head off her mom’s shoulder, looking at her in the eyes. Her mom smiles, reassuring her.

“Hush now. Everything’s alright. Some of omma and appa’s friends came a bit late tonight and they just wanted to talk. Nothing to be worried about. That’s why we tucked you in extra comfy, so that they monsters wouldn’t even think about getting you.” She taps her nose lightly, eliciting a giggle from her. “Now, let’s go see these friends before they leave, alright?”

With her elbow, Mrs. Kim nudges the door aside, letting the first cool breeze blow past them. Ae Sook curls deeper into her mom’s arms to brace herself against the cold, but as much as her mom’s arms could block out the wind, they couldn’t block out the voices.

“What you did was right. You stayed here, where your home is, and that’s all that matters,” one voice began to say urgently.

Ae Sook feels her mother freeze beneath her, the muscles in her arms stiffen. For a moment, they let the voices continue on as they remain frozen at the porch steps, unnoticed.

“No, I should’ve left. When I left them, I should’ve left the country too. I should’ve gone to China, with my sister-in-law. It’s dangerous here and I don’t want my daughter to ever have to face them.”