Yaejin POV

I go on my instagram and post an other sneekpeak of my song. I have been posting pictures of the lyrics I have been writing. I try not to look at the comments, some are still so hatefull. It really hurts to read them.

"Ji are you really going?"

"I am." Jungsoo is still against me going to paris for the fashion show, but he knows he can't stop me. "I already discussed it with my team and they think it is also smart and stupid, but my uncle agrees."

"That is because he unhuman and loves money." Jungsoo walks into my room and gives me warning look

"I know..."

"Why do you want to start working again so badly"

"It is just,....I want to, something just doesn't feel right, so I hope that going back to work will make that feeling go away." He nods and he doesn't know what else to say. 

"Are you going to the Seoul music awards?"

"I don't know....I don't feel to well yet."

"You are nomanited for a lot you know that right and they did invite you."

"I know, I just...the doctor also wants me to rest"

"Since when are you listing to the doctor, besides I heared that they also want you to go, they expect you to win a lot."

"There will be alot more awards and you guys are also not going...."

"But that shouldn't keep you from going.We all know that you are going to win atleast 2 awards, just go."

"Look there will be more and more shows and awards are really not that important."

"Look you don't have to perform, just to go and accept and give a beautiful and heartfelt speech."

"I...I don't know. I think that most people don't want me to go..."

"Yaejin you shouldn't let those comments get to you, they are just to bring you down.. I know that a lot of people don't want you to come, they want you to stay broken." He grabs my hand and looks me straight in the eye

"You should show everyone, look here I am. You can talk down on me all that you like, but you won't defeat me, just like your song, show them that you are strong that you won't let yourself be bullied away."

"Only if you will come with me...." 

"What, you know I can't just go"

"You also know that SM will force me to go, both of know that. I will tell them I will only go if you go."

"Really?"

"Yes really.I will have to go and talk to them today and I am sure that they will try to convince me again today."

"Are you going now?"

"Yes the sooner I go the sooner I can go to the hospital, filming, training.."

 "Weren't you going to take it easy?"

"I was... One moment you are telling me to go to an award and ." I am ready to go and Jungsoo is still looking unsure "Oppa~ "

"You still look like a skeleton, your blackbags are so... You should eat more, rest more, you look like you are in pain all the time... "

"You sound like my doctor.." 

"See, what I am saying is right."

"It might be, but that won't mean that I will be listening..." I give him a hug and quickly leave to go to the entertaiment.

*                                              *

I walk in and I they lead me to where we are meeting today. 

"Yaejin you are here, good. Sit down we have some good news for you." They pull out a chair for me and I sit down. I look trough the class and I can see Taemin, Kai, Sehun and Suho standing waving at me. I wave back, but they don't leave. I focus back on them and they look nervous to tell me something.

"You want me to go to the seoul music awards, don't you guys. "

"We do..." the sigh in relieve and I look to the ground "We think you should go and also perform."

"What? Don't you think it is already much to ask for me to go, but to perform...That is just to much, it already takes me a lot of strenght to walk, but to perform...."

"We know, but we think that you should go, so we have already informed them that you will perform a song and also do a ballet performance. " I try not to get angry...

"Are you crazy!" I loose my nerves and I jump up "How do you guys accept me to do that?!"

"Yaejin calm down. You will be fine, just go and practise, you have 3 days. That should be enough right?"

I don't answer and they just continue. I can't believe this.....

"I will only go if Jungsoo is allowed to help me. He will stand by me and after my performance I will leave." 

"Good, deal. Pick your songs and tell them tomorrow." I try not to look angry and I can see that they are scared of my reaction.

"Now on a good note. We have cleare your scedule and you are able to go to paris fashion week, you will have to film a lot before you are going but you can go."

"How does the doctor think of all of this." 

"He...He is against of everything, but he will help you to deal with the pain. He will also make you stop any activities if your condition gets worse, so he will send a assitent to come with you to the awards and Paris."

"Okay, I agree with him, bur our opions don't matter."  

"Now on a good note." My uncle tries to change the object quickly and I roll with my eyes.

"We will announce your relationship at the day of the today."

"What?" I can't believe what I am hearing. 

"We both agree and we are both releasing a statement today, we wanted to do a pressconference, but it seems a bit much."

"Really? Thank you" I don't really know how to react and I just thank them, I am stil l mad at them so it seems good enough.

"I will go and practise..." I bow to all of them and walk out of there, I close the door and the boys are gone. I go up the stairs and call Jungsoo

"Ji how did it go."

"It went....Horrible. They are forcing me to go, as predicted and they also want me to perform 2 songs. 2 songs!!"

"No way! Are you serious!"

"Yes.... I am going to choose now...Oppa if you still want to come with me to the awards you can come, they agreed to letting me take you" I open the door and walk into the rehearsal room."

"Really I can come?"

"Yes so if you can, would you be my date?" I and I can hear him laugh

"I would love to"

"They will also announce me and Jungkook dating...."

"Today?"

"Deh"

"Waah that is amazing."  He is happy for me, but doesn't really sound that happy.

"I am happy for you ...I will go and choose what to wear...See you at home, please be carefull Ji don't hurt yourself."

"I will try, see you tonight silly" We hang up and I suppose I will start choosing what song to sing. 

I think that I know what songs to sing...One in english and one in korean...Or should I just do both in english...

I am glad that I took my ballet shoes with me, I put them on and it feels like a second skin...I should take it slowly, I can feel that I am shaking and dancing won't be good....

My stomach hurts so much....I try to breath in and out slowier, but it doesn't help..Aahh....I start to feel dissy again and I put my hand on my stomach to relieve the pain.  Aah it hurts so much, like needles are being stappped into me over and over. 

I hold on tight and I can feel that my legs are going to give in, my joins hurt so much . I can't stand straight, my back is killing me everything hurts...I hear the door going open and I can hear Taemin happy voice

"Yaejin they announced it! We just saw it." He stops midsentence and they all stop walking

"Yaejin....Are you "   I see him coming near and then everything goes black.

 

Jungkook  POV

We are all training when my manager walk up to me with what looks like a cake. 

"Jungkook, I have great news for you." I really have no clue where he is talking about.

"The entertaiments met and they agreed on which day they will announce it." 

"Really!!" We all jump up and he tells us to go quite.

"When are they going to announce it?"   We are all anxious to hear his answer and he is looking sad now....

"Well I am afraid that..." He looks up and starts to smile, why is he smiling?

"5 minutes ago...They announce it 5 minutes ago!"   

Everybody is cheering and the boys jump around me. I can't believe this....

"Really? They announce it?" He shows me and I can't believe this, I start to smile from ear to ear and do a happy dance, everyone joins in and we are all dancing like crazy.

"This is amazing! I should call Yae" I grab my phone and start to call her, the boys turn on the tv to see if someone mentioned it and I wait for the phone to go over. 

"Yae did you see!? The-" I am interrupeted by someone else talking

"Jungkook...It is Taemin" 

"Where is Yaejin?" I try to stay calm and Jimin tries to get my attention. I look at where he is pointing and I can't believe what I am seeing. An ambulance by SM, my thoughts immediatly go to Yae.

"Yaejin she is unconsious and they are bringing her now to the hospital" I look at the televisiona and I can see them carriering her inside the ambulance, I can also see Taemin calling and he is with Kai, Sehun and Suho. They are looking sad and it must be serious by the look of there faces.

"Wh-what happened?"

"She was training and she...she just collapsed, I don't really know anything else. They are now bringing her to the hospital."

"Okay...Thank you for telling me..." I hang up and they are all looking at me

"Jungkook"

"We have to go, we have to go now. She will be allright...Right? They are just...She is...." I can't make out my words and I can see that they are all looking sad and worried at me. Jimin walks up to me and put his arm around my shoulders.

"Lets go, we will be there in a few minutes." 

*                                                          *

We follow the news on Jimins phone and there are allready cameras at the hospital waiting for her to come. There are so many...

I can't look at it anymore, I look away and start looking at the road and I can see the hospital, we are here. I can't wait to get out of here. 

   "The ambulance has arrived and it is suspected to be Yaejin inside." 

The reporter focuses the camera on the ambulance and even more reporters have come, even some fans have gathered outside. We are all watching when they carry her out of the ambulance into the hospital, so many pictures are taken and they try to hide her face as best as they can, but I still saw her.

She is so pale....We  always joked around that I would like her more with a pale face, but now I know....I want her to have as much color in her face as possible, I never want her to be this pale again. 

An other cars follows and Taemin walks out of the car, he walks inside quickly and the door close behind him.

        "Early today was the announced that Yaejin and Jungkook are in a relationship. Fans are         anticapteninly waiting if he will show up."

They turn of the sound and I sigh out of relieve. I look at the hospital and we will be there in one or 2 minutes. 

We are finally here and it is hared to get past all the people gathered. The cameres are already pointed at the ven and I want to jump out immediatly, but my manager stops me.

"Manager nim, let me go." 

"Don't you want them to go first"

"I just want to be with her as soon as I can..." He nods and opens the door for us to get out.

Cameras are flitsing and I can hear screams and reporters talking. Jimin and Jin are luckily beside me and they follow me closely. We are waiting for the elevator and it takes forever to get to her floor.

I storm out of the elevator and I can see Taemin, Kai sitting there. They stand up when they see me and I walk over to them

"Where is she?" 

"They took her into chirgury." 

"I..Is it.. "

"She will be okay." 

*                                  *

We have been waiting for what seems hours for her to come out of chirgurey and I am now finaly able to hold her hand. I press a kiss on her hand and hold it close

"I am here...." I whisper to her and try really hard not to cry. 

The elevator doors go open agian and her parents are here. They walk up to her and her mother is crying. 

"Jungkook" Her father gives me an hug and her mother lets go of Yae to give me a hug aswell

 "How are you...Ooohh" She hugs me again and I hug her back

"I am good...How are you?"

"No need to be so formal Jungkook, just call me mom like you always have." I nod and she smiles at me. 

We have been by her side for some time now and she is still unconcious, the doctor walk in and he greets her parents and everyone comes closer to hear what he has to say.

"She had an internal bleeding, that is why she so pale. Further her joins, her body is still not recorvered and dancing will only make things worse."

"But nothing else occured?" Her mom is holding on closely to her dad and they are both still looking concerend.

"She hasn't made any new injury, she has made some injuries worse again, but with time they will heal again.She will have to stay in the hospital for the next days and we will keep on moniter her, to keep her internal bleeding under control." 

We are all relieved hearing this and I can see that everyone is looking more relaxed. Now I am just sitting beside her and we are all waiting for her to wake up.

 

It is already dark outside and she still hasn't opened her eyes yet. Taemin and Kai left and we promised to keep them in on everything that happens. I listen to the statement that Sm released again, always trying to cover themselves and making the situation lighter. I trun it off and hold her hand again.. Oooh please wake up Yae.

I wake up by feeling someone going trough my hair, I open my eyes and yae is awake

"Yae" I hug her and she wraps her arm around me. "You are awake"

"I am..Don't worry to much, I am okay." She tries her best to speak and her parents are now hugging her. Her mother is crying and I can see that her father is also chocking up. 

"She woke up..." I walk to the boys and I smile at them. They hug me and I feel so relieved. I was so affraid to lose her. 

"Yae!" We break apart and we see Jungsoo, Kyuhyun, Kangin, Ryeowook, Yesung and Heechul coming out of the elevator. Jungsoo runs up to her room and her parents make way for them to hug. 

I can she that she is happy to see him and they are holding each other close now. The other boys walk over to us and they are all happy to see that she is okay. 

I keep my eye on Jungsoo and Yae and they are still holding each other close, somehow I do feel jealous, I also long for her to hold me like she is holding him. 

"Jungkook we have to go" Namjoon hyung walks up to me and I nod. I walk to Yae and she is still talking to Jungsoo and the rest of Super junior. I nock on the door and they leave with a wink. 

"I will come back in a minute" Jungsoo walks out and he smiles at me. 

"Oppa~" she holds her hand out for me, I take her hand and sit down next to her. She tries to sit up straight and I help her and put my arms around her and pull her more onto my chest. She is leaning her head down to my shoulder. 

"Are you feeling better? Does it still hurt? You still sound really waek, you shouldn't talk to much" 

"I am okay..." she smiles faintly and I can see that she is lying

"Jagi you don't have to pretend to be strong. Not with me" We intertwine our fingers and I strike with m tumb over her hand. 

"Did you come her straigth out of rehearsal?"

"I did. They came up with a cake to celebrate our announcement" 

"They did, aahh that is amazing" She smiles and I give her a kiss on her head. 

"But when we were celebrating, I called you and Taemin answered and on the television."

"And then is when you came to the hospital"

"Yes I came rushing to you" She gives me a kiss, I smile at her and rest my head onto hers.

"I have to go..."

"Deh..." We are still holding hands and I get up and I really don't want to let go of her hand

"Be carefull, don't talk to much, lay down as much as possible, sleep. " All the boys walk in and tell her goodbye  

"Thank you all for coming, means a lot to me" She winks at me and I tick her on the nose

"I will come back soon, okay"

"It is okay Jungkook, you are busy so don't cancel anything to see me, arasso?"

"Arasso..." I give her a kiss and Jimin has to take my hand for me to leave. 

 

Jungsoo POV

Jungkook leaves and I head back to Yae. I hold her hand and she is looking tired. 

"I am going to miss you at home. Not having you around...."

"Me too..I am going to miss you, luckily it isn't for a long time."

"Exactly. Are you feeling better."

"The drugs have set in, so yea..." she smirks at me and I tick her nose.

"Can I ask you something" She looks at me nervous and I nod "how is the respons to Jungkook and me dating?"

"Shall we look it up?" I grab her phone and we first go to her instagram. We are going through the comments and they are okay.

"So happy for you~ 

Hope you two will last long! 

You two are so cute together!!

The most handsome, pretty couple! Two beautiful people together ^^ "
 

I read out the responses and she smiles. I avoid the bad ones, but she does read some.

"Don't let that bother you, okay?"

"Some people have been hard on me....They always have that just comes with it I suppose."

"Don't let that bother you. Some people jus say mean things out of jealously. Don't let that effect you."

We search it on the internet and much people are really positive, but some are really negative on Jungkook.

"Why are you scrolling so fast. " 

"They aren't really positve."

"About me or?"

"About Jungkook"

"What? What are they saying?"

"They are saying that they don't understand why he is suddenly by your side and that he doesn't deserve to date you, because he only came by one time after your accident. "

"Aahh...." 

"but most are really positive and saying that they hope that he will stay with you, that you two look perfect together and most of the people are jus cheering that you two ware finally together. "  

"I am happy to hear that..." 

Me and Ji continue to look at comments and the reaction to her passing out and being brought to the hospital. Most are just concerned and are hoping for her to be back out of the hospital soon. She has fallen asleep and I look back at the comments about Hyukjae and her. 

It is heartbreaking to read them, they are saying how much they miss them together. Most also don't understand it. The thing that frightens me the most is that they are starting to speculate that she lost her memories about him. 

I look at her sleeping, I truly hope that she will remember soon. I slowly remove my arm underneath her and lay her down slowly. she just woke up and already she has been doing to much, I should make sure that she is going to rest properly the coming days and weeks to come, to avoid a situtioan like this gain. In the end I did promise to take care of her.

 

 

Jungkook POV

We are back home and I sit down on the couch and I still can't believe that this happened....Today was crazy.Just crazy. Taehyung hands me some food and we are all eating and we are just in silence...

"How do you feel?"

"I...I know how Eunhyuk must have felt." I think back of the day of her accident

We are standing here and I can't believe what is happening. I can't....This isn't real, this isn't happening.

"Jungkook it will be okay" I look at them and they are trying to comfort me...

"I never got to make up with her, all the things....I never....I never got to tell her how much I..."

"It will be okay...Don't worry..."

We have been waiting and they are finaly back, I can see the doctor and he doesn't look to good. He talks to her parents and when I walk a bit closer I look at her and has her eyes closed and she looks like she is asleep. I focus back on her parents and her mother is breaking down. She starts to cry and the doctor gives them some space to proces everything.

I step back and heechul is the only one walking up to the doctor and the doctor walks over to us.

"Can you tell us what....How is she doing?" 

"I can't" 

"You can tell them, they are family." Her mother can barely make out the words and the doctor nods. Her mother walks back to Yae and I affraid to listen to the doctor.

"She is in a coma, we aren't sure how the situation will progress form now on." The doctor explains some other things and then excuses himself. I can't believe it and the tears start to roll over my cheeks.

"Jungkook..." Namjoon hyung hugs me and I can see that everyone is staring at me and the rest of Super junior is also crying.

We are all still progressing what we just heared, when we Eunhyuk comes rujnning in. He looks so scared and seeing our faces we see him slowly breaking down. I look away and he keeps on asking how she is doing. It is heartbreaking to see. 

"Remember how he came running upstairs, how he broke down, how he...."

"Jungkook...." they don't really know what to say  "She will be okay." 

*                                                                         *

We are rehearsing again and I can't wait to get out of here. We finish this song and we are free to go. I get all my stuff and I am waiting for everyone to go. 

"I am going." I greet them all and before they can stop me I quickly leave. 

 

I arrive at the hospital and it is still crowed with cameras, more of her fans have gathered aswell and they all start to scream when they see me. I get inside quicly and avoid the questions they are asking me. 

She notices me and she starts to smile from ear to ear "Oppa~"  I give her a kiss and sit next to her. 

"You came early"

"Yes I have been practicing reallly hard so I could come to you quicker."

"Aaah that is so sweet" She hugs me and I lift my arm up and she suggles up to me. 

"Have you read any of the comments?" 

"I have, have you?" 

" hopped that you didn't... I have too."  I am doing my best not to show her how much the mean comments have affected me. 

"Don't let the comments get to you. You were on tour, you couldn't come by you were traveling the world and you can't cancel all of that. I think that most people don't really understand that."

"You are truly the sweetest person" I smile at her and I kiss her forehead. "

"But most are really positive"

"I knw on twitter we got a lot of positve messages, they are celebrating that we finaly together."

"Hahaha I know, I am so releaved that they responded so positive. "

"Yes we are 18 years into the making" I smirk at her and she laughs

"Hahaha it took us 18 years to finally be serious about each other" 

"And this time we will make it work" Her smile gets bigger by hearing my words and I lean in to kiss her. 

I tell her about my day and try to make her smile. We are all snuggled up to each other and I am getting sleepy. I wake up by hearing someone taking photo's 

"Hyung when did you come here?" Taehyung and Jimin are here and Jimin is busy taking pictures while Taehyun is looking jealous. 

"We came to get you, tomorrow is the Seoul music awards so it is better if you get a goodnight sleep tonight. " 

"Aah arasso." I get up and slowly let Yae down. I smile at her, she looks so peacefull. I give her a kiss and write her a note that I went home and I will come by soon. 

*                                                                                                               * 

I look away from the negative reactions....I have been reading them all morning and they just seem to mutltiply. Most of Army is really protective but her fans and super junior fans are...Some are really against it. I focus back on the dance and it is going great. 

"Are you sad that Yaejin won't be coming tonight?"

"Yes, but I am glad that she is finaly resting. Well that she rested the past days, she is going home today and filming tomorrow. So yea...." 

"Really? Wow she really is a fighter." I nod and Jimin sends me the pictures. I send them to Yae and they are adorable.

"Did you read the comments this morning?" Hoseok Hyung speaks up and they are all looking worried, they must also have read them.

"I did, it is really hard to see them coming at us like this."

"What is even more surprising is that they aren't even army's. Army really is happy that you two are together, isn't that weird" 

"I  know hyung, but Eunhyuk hyung and Yae were a couple so I do understand why her fans and super junior fans are so against it."

"That is true, but still they didn't know that they were together, they just thoughed they were."

"But there was some hard proof that they were indeed dating, so I think that is was more of an unspoken rule."

"Unspoken rule...?" we all laugh at Jimins words, but we all know he is right....

My phone goes and it is Yae calling I pick up and put her on speaker

"Yae you are on speaker" 

"Arasso, Hello~"

"How are you feeling Yaejin?"

"I am doing better thankyou Namjoon" 

"Is something wrong?"

"Well I wondered if you read the...Ehm...Never mind"

"I did. I read them, but it is okay."

"I talked to Jungsoo oppa and he is also thinking how to ease them a bit, he and the boys have agreed to say something on super camp, so hopefully that will calm things a bit down."

"You talk to him about this?"

"I did"

"Very nice of him to help, can you thank him on behalf of all of us?" Yjong hyung speaks up for me, I can't believe that she first talks about him and not with me. And why does she even call him oppa, she doesn't call anyone else oppa....

"I will, he is glad to help. I also wanted to post a picture of you guys on tour and with the date, but I thoughed I would first ask how you guys feel about that"

"That is so kind of you! No problem" They all agree and talk at the same time and Namjoon hyung kicks me lightly and wakes me up from my thoughts

"That is sweet of you Yae" 

"I am very sweet.... Okay then I will post it." We all hear that it is meant to be a joke, but I can hear in her voice that she has noticed my change in behaviour. We really do know each other good.

"You are very sweet." I hear her chuckle and I smile

"I will post that then. Okii"

"Yaejin Jimin hyung made some photos of yesterday, I have sent them to you"

"They are really cute! I am a good photographer!" We all hear her laugh and we join in. Seeing Jimins face now makes us laugh even harder.

"Jungkook oppa if the malicious comments continue I will post one of those, is that okay with all of you?"

"Ofcourse that is!" They all speak before I do and I can hear her laugh. 

"Arasso, I have to go. I also called to wish you guys luck tonight. I hope you guys win! "

"Aahh thankyou, hopefully you win aswell!"  

"Thank you. Good luck!"

"Yae don't stay up to late, relax and don't do to much." I speak out of worry and I can hear her chuckle

"Yes doctor number 3.... Bye~" She hangs up, doctor number 3?

"Number 3....How is number 2 then...." 

"Probably Jungsoo" I look up to them and they have already started to get ready.Jungsoo....

 

Yaejin POV

The past days haven't exactly been easy, I am just glad that Jungsoo has been coming by so much. I take my phone and I go trough the photos that Jungkook send. It has been so nice to have him here. 

We look so cute together, his arms wraped around me and we are both asleep. It must have been tough on him, the whole situation. He looked so tired yesterday....

"Heey I brought something to eat" Jungsoo went to grab some food and my mouth starts to water seeing it

"Ooohh So Hungryyyy" I say with a low voice and he is looking surprised at me

"What? Hahaha" He hands me the plate and keeps on laughing "You never do silly things infront of us"

"Life is to short..." I smile at him and he nods  "I am just comfortable infront of you" He starts to blush and gets his little giggle. 

"How are you feeling now? Weren't you going home today?" 

"I was, but my back is still killing me. An old injury came back and they wanted to some more test."

"Your back? Does it hurt a lot? Are you okay? More test?"

"Jungsoo oppa calm down. " I grab his hand and he is still looking anxcious "The injury wasn't really major, but we have to make sure that it won't get worse and just some test for my organs if they are working and my eyesight."

"Does your vision still get blurry from time to time?" I nod and he is still looking worried. I give him a bite of his food and he starts to smile again.

"The reaction to your relationship is taking a good turn."

"Yes I am really happy about that. I was really affraid that everyone would object and react negative."

"I know, they are even getting more okay with him. Not so negative anymore, I think that the photo that you posted"

"Yes, I ask him if he agreed. I wasn't too sure and even after posting it I was kinda affraid that people would say that we shouldn't be so open."

"I understand what you mean, but what I heard and seen so far is that they want you to post more."

"Really?" I chuckle and he nods

"I have seen mems of you two and then saying 18 years in the making" I smile at him, he gives me a small smile and starts to eat again. 

I love that he is so supportive, but something doesn't feel right about it. He is trying so hard to smile when he talks about Jungkook and I, I can see that he is also sad about something. But I know that if I were to ask him about it he won't tell me, just like the person in my dreams. 

"I have to go"

"Yes, thank you for coming again." He gives me a thight hug and I am sad that he is leaving

"Let me know if they find out your results, okay? I miss you at home...."

"Arasso~ Yes I want to come home soon" 

Jungsoo leaves and I am all alone again... I look for my headphones but I can't find them. Maybe I should ask if they know where they are? This room is to big for me to search. I try to get up, but it still hurts a lot. 

I get my infuse and walk to the door. I feel a sharp pain in my stomach and I put my hand on it. I feel a rush of panic going trough me an I don't really know where it is coming from. I open the door and I try to find someone. I can see some girls with there phone and an nurse talking to them. Would it be safe to go to them? 

"Yaejin!" I turn around and Joongki is running up to me, he helps me stand up. He gives me a hug and we can hear the girls squich.... We break apart and some nurses come up to us

"Miss Yaejin you shouldn't be out here. You should be resting" 

"Aahh I told you to call me Yaejin"  She nods and is looking full admiration to Joongki, I can see that he is getting a bit flustered and is looking at me for help

"i was looking for some earphones"

"Aah yes, I will find them for you. Just a moment." She leaves and I can see that Joongki is getting more relaxed.

"Come you should sit down" he offers me his arm and winks at me

"I am so happy that you came to visit me again" 

"I am happy to see you again." He opens the door and I can't see where I am walking. I stop and I can feel myself almost falling down.

"Whoo..Are you okay?" Joongki quickly holds me up and I nod 

"Just give a minute..." I try to blink, but I still can't see.  I hold on tighter to Joongki and he lifts me up.

"I am going to lay you down now...." He carefully lays me down  and I unwrap my arms from his neck. 

"Thank you"  I keep on blinking but it is still all a blur, I hear the door going open and I think that it is the nurse.

"Here are some headphones" I am still seeing double and blurry, but I can see the sillout from her hand. I try to grab it, but I miss her hand.

"I have these too" Joongki takes the earphones, start to talk quickly

"I will go and find the doctor" She leaves and I nod....

"Are you okay?"

"I will be....I hope." I blink my tears away and close my eyes for a few seconds and when I open them again I can see clear again. I put my hands out and I can touch my fingers together again.

"Thank you so much" I look at Joongki and  he seems relieved that I can see again

"No problem Yaejin." He holds my hand and squishes my hand lightly.  I missed this little fool, I really did enjoy filming with him we truly became close friends trough it. 

"Should we watch the Seoul music awards?"

"Yes..." I nod and he puts it on "I do have to be honest, I am glad that now I don't have to perform."

"They wanted you to perform? Really?"

"Yes they wanted me to perform, take the awards...."

"Woow...unbelievable, is that why you were brought back to the hospital?"

"Yes, I was practicing and then things just went wrong"

"I am happy that you are okay and this way you atleast get to rest."

"Thank you, I know. Now I am forced to relax and do nothing." He chuckles at me, we focus back on the awards

It has began and I can't believe what Jun Hyunmoo said to her. We are both looking surprised at it and it is hard to see Hani so hurt, she has been so scared about the reaction of everyone and has been helping me a lot as well. 

"Now I am affraid to meet him" I look at Joongki and he nods

"Are you nervous that Jungkook and you have announced your relationship?" Joongki seems a bit awkward to ask me this question, but he doesn't really have reason too.

"I am, it quite nerverecking."

"You must like him a lot, a lot more then me" He looks a bit down whispering the last part and I don't understand what he is saying

"What are you saying? Why do you think that?"  He looks up confused at me and is trying to see if I am joking. Didn't I tell him, aah I can't recall it. 

"I...I have memory loss." He seems schocked hearing this and is looking at me in disbelieve "You didn't know? It was praticly all over the news." I wink at him, but he doesn't smile

"You have memory loss? How far back?" 

"Ehmm... I...I don't know. " I try to think back, but I just get a headach from it. 

"Don't try to hard." He takes my hand and it feels so weird, but natural as well. I look up to him and he looks sad and we keep just a little to long eye contact.

"D-Do you think that you will win some awards?" He removes his hand and awkwardly points to the tv

"I don't know, everyone is so good."  

We fall into an awkward silence and continue to watch the awards. We are watching as all are getting prices and performing, when an other winner will be announced of the bonsang award. It is nerve wrecking to wait for the name to announced. 

"This time your name will be announced" Joongki winks at me and we are anxiously waiting for the announcement. I take his hand naturally and he pust his hand on top of mine. 

"The winner is Yaejin, gefeliciteerd" 

"You won!" Joongki gives me a  hug and he looks so happy. We look at the clip they are rolling now and they are saying that they are thinking of me and hoping that I will be out of the hospital soon. By others awards they have also mentioned me, but it always gets me. I always end up feeling touched. 

"Are you crying?" Joongki tries to look at my face and I turn away and he starts to tease me 

"Aaah you don't have to cry" He wraps his arms around me and we watch as Taemin accepts the award on my behalve. From time to time Jungkook face is also shown and he is smiling broadly. 

"I told you you would win." Joongki looks away everyime Jungkook is shown and is now teasing me again.

"Yea yea you did. I shall buy you some dinner when I am home again." He looks happy and nods

"For every award I expect a lovely dinner" I laugh at him and I invite him to sit next to me.

"Come sit, the bed is huge. Enough space for the both of us." He sits down and I pad next to me

"I don't bite you know." He laughs and moves closer. He seems nerveus and tries a bit to hard to focus on the tv. I never really saw him like this, ever since I told him I didn't remember he has been acting so weird, holding something back. 

*                                                                                  * 

"Yaa you won an other award, dance performance....2 meals"  I laugh at him and I am gratefull for Onew accepting this award on behalve of me.

"You know I hope that you will win one other award, 3 meals." He pulls a deligted face and I hit his arm. 

"We will see if that happens..."

*                                                        *

"Too bad, only 2 meals for you" 

"Boeehoee..." He looks dissapointed but then laughs at me.  "Two meals it is." 

"On an other note, when is the doctor coming?" 

"I don't know, the nurse said she was going to get him, maybe she forgot?" I look at Joongki and I forgot how close we were, his face is also turned to face me and we are looking directly in each other eyes. He looks starteled and I quickly look away.

Why does this feel so formiliar? I look back at him and he is still looking at me, he has a gentle look in his eyes. He raises his hand and I can feel the warmth of his hand near my face.  
I close my eyes  and my headache sets in....

"Yaejin look at this" Joongki calls me over and points to the sky 

"that is beautiful"  

"Yes it is...." I turn to face him and his face is so close. "You are so beautiful" I start to blush and  he looks shyly at me. He lifts his hand and carefully carresses my face.

I open my eyes again and Joongki is still looking at me....What was between us? What isn't he telling me? 

"Yaejin I am sorry to come by at such a late ho-"   He stops talking as he sees Joonki. 

"Oohh...I am sorry to interupt I will come back an other time. " Joongki and I create more speace between us

"No need, this is Song Joongki a very good and close friend of mine" I look at Joongki and he is looking down and has a weird look on his face.  

"I heard that your vision was bad earlier." He takes out his chart and is trying to find something "I know that you have had problems with this before today, was it worse today then any other?"

"It wasn't that bad, it didn't hurt"

"It lasted really long. She couldn't see straight for atleast 5 minutes" Joongki speaks up and I look at him and he nods at me to appologize.

"Really? Is this true Yaejin?"

"Yes it is..." He writes it down

"You should tell me such things Yaejin, it might seem like nothing, but it can be very important. Thank you for telling me this"

"Joongki, you can call me Joongki" 

"Arasso, thank you Joongki. Yaejin we will do several tests tomorrow and then in the afternoon you will recieve the results of all the test we have done in the past days. "

"Arasso thank you." I want to stand up, but he walks over to me to measure my tempature

"You should still rest Yaejin, I am glad that you didn't have to perform." He looks at my tempature and he nods

"All looks good, Joongki please make sure that she stays in bed."

"I will, thank you"

"No wondering of" He turns to me and I nod

"I will, thank you again for anything" 

"I will see  you tomorrow. Joongki it was very nice to meet you."

 

"Here, you should sit comfortable." Joongki makes me go a bit forward and puts another pillow behind  me. I smile at him and we start to talk about little things

"We should celebrate if the first episode is aired."  

"We should!" I turn to him and sit with my legs crossed and he also sits up "We should watch every episode together" He smiles at me and I start to talk to him enthousiaticly

"Wouldn't that be so much fun, we could have dinner together then and then we will also spend some time together" He takes my hand and I stop talking

"Let's do that" He nods and smiles at me. I smile back and start to think of everything. While I am rattling about what we could eat and all the little things, he makes me sit next to him again and almost as a natural habbit.

"How are you doing?" I point to his knee and touch his arm behind me lightly

"I am doing better, nothing to worry about, it is a minor injurie" I take his arm from behind me and touch his casket lightly

"An injurie is an injurie oppa, how is it. Tell me honestly."

"It is okay, really. It still hurts from time to time, but it is getting better. " He starts to move his fingers and knee to prove it. He takes my hand and smiles at me

"Yaejin don't worry about me, I am fine. I really am."

"Joongki you doknow that I worry and I will continue to be, so just be honest to me." 

"You have always been so stumberkoppig)  about everyting, especially the things or persons you care about" He is smilling knowingly at me and it seems that he is saying this for more than what just happen

"Yes and I care for you, so." I point and pout at him and he wraps his arm around me again and shakes me a bit

"I will be honest...

"I will be honest to you, always. I promise you." He takes my hand and the sun starts to shine down upon us

"Promise me you will also be honest to me, no matter how hurtfull it might me to me" 

He smiles sadly at me and I lean my head on his shoulder, this is making me so confused. Too many memories that I don't remember, things that happened, relationships, friendships. How far does my memorie loss go back?

"Joongki oppa I am sorry" 

"Sorry for what? You did nothing wrong"

"For forgetting....I am sorry..."

"Yaejin, don't be sorry. We will just make new memories." I lean my head on his shoulder. I close my eyes and I feel how tired and exhausted I am and withing seconds I am alseep

 

Joongki POV

She has fallen asleep and it is hard to have her so close. I never knew that she had memory loss, I didn't want to listen to the news, but I was affraid to ask her. 

She forgot everything....The first meeting, our fights, our....And the fact that I am the only one to remember, it does explain why she would looked confused at me from time to time. how could I not have noticed it sooner? It is so obvious now...I strike some hairs out of her face and carress her cheeck softly, only I remember everything now...perhaps that is my punishment, in the end it was wrong...

I lay her lightly and softly down and tuck her in. I gather my things and tuck her in. I am about to walk out of the door when she wakes up...

"Joongki oppa...?" I walk back to her and I sit down next to her  

"Yaejin I am going home. I didn't want to wake you up" I smile at her, but she seems to be thinking of something

"Could you stay over?"  What?  She takes my hand and looks at me  "Tomorrow I will have some others test and...I don't want to be alone for the results or"

"I will stay with you. I have all day." I smile at her and she smiles back in graduted. 

"I will sleep over there" I point to the chair 

"this bed is big enough for the both of us" I laugh at her comment and she seems confused

"You all still innocent." I tick her nose and she is still looking confused.  

"Joongki there is really enough room." I give her a little smile, her innocence is still intact. Still so innonce, too innocence perhaps...

"Yaejin you are so innocent, I will sleep on the chair." I chuckle at her and she trows a pillow to me. I catch it and thank her.

*                                                 *

"Joongki can I tell you something?" I open my eyes and turn to face her, even though we turned of the lights, it seems like I can still see the look in her eyes, I suppose I really do know her well.

"Yaejin you can tell me anything"

"I am really affraid for tomorrow... I am affraid that I will hear something that I don't want to know, that.." I can hear that she is starting to cry and I get up and walk over to her

"Come here" I sit next to her and I wrap my arms around her. " Don't cry okay.... You shouldn't worry about that, lets wait for the results and then we will fight whatever the result is. You are not alone okay...." 

"Don't cry Yaejin" I see Yae crying and I open my arms and she burries herself in my embrace... "What is wrong?"

"I... Everything is just going wrong....I don't know what to do..."  She stops and takes deep breaths " Things weren't suppose to go this way.... I am just affraid"

"Yaejin... Everything will be allright, don't worry. When you are affraid, when things are going wrong, hold onto me. Together we will fight trough it, you are not alone...I promise...." 

Nastolgic thoughts come up and I am trying hard not to cry... Oohh... It is like history is repeating...

"I am really happy that you are here with me" She has calmed down, but she is shivering now "I am really greatfull that you are staying wiht me...It makes me feel calm." 

"Still so honest about your feelings.." I chuckle and I am happy to hear a small laugh escaping from her lips. "Go to sleep Yaejin, tomorrow will be a long day.."  I wrap my arms around her and I hope that she will feel less scared... 

I look to the ceeling and I can't help it but think back....Back to the time that we were also this close, the time were...Aah it doesn't matter, I should stop thinking about that. I should get those thoughts out of my mind, she is happy with Jungkook and if she is happy, I will be...

 

Yaejin POV

I open my eyes and I am still lying in Joongki's embrace. I close my eyes again, maybe that is why I slept well. Short, but good. Something about lying here wiht him is so familiar and that beside filming... Even the way he sometimes looks at me, the look in eyes like....like he has seen this before, if it happened before. 

I really dislike this feeling, knowing that I don't know something. The feeling of letting people down....The look in his eyes aswell. I hear someone is trying to open the door and I wake up Joongki

"Oppa I think the doctor is here." He open his eyes slowly and rubs his eyes. I look at him and this feels....This feels like I have seen this before. Like this has happened before. He sits up straight and he puts his hand automaticly to my cheek and gets up to strecht. 

I slowly touch my cheeck, it is tingling. Why does it fee like this has happened befoer? did this happen before? 

"Yaejin you are already awake. Joongki nice to see you again. Did both of you sleep well?" We answer him and he is now talking to Joongki. I keep on looking at Joongki and I can feel that something happened between me and him, but I...I just can't remember. I can't remember.

"Yaejin are you ready to come and do the test? I know it is still early, but the sooner we will have the results." I nod and the nurse walks in with a weehlchair 

"That is not necesarry" I try to object, but in return I get two men given me a serious look. I get into the chair and Joongki starts to smile. 

"I will wait here okay, don't worry." He squeses me hand and off I go... 

*                                                                 *

"Try to stay awake Yaejin you are almost done" I am lying down for a MRI test and it is hard to keep my eyes open. 

I am sitting back into the wheelchair and I have given up on keeping my eyes open. I feel someone lifting me up and laying me down onto the bed

"I will be back with the results" the doctor leaves and I open my eyes. Joongki is sitting beside me and when he notices that I have woken up, he slowly takes my hand and tries his hardest to smile. He lifts my hand to his mounth and it seems that he wants to kiss my hand, but stops before my hand touches his mounth. 

He looks shocked and he just pats on my hand. He smiles awkwardly and just holds my hand. 

"Why do you have tears in your eyes" I smile at him and I put my hand to his cheeck

"I don't have tears in my eyes" he starts to blink and he pulls a funny face and I pull one as well.

"Are you nervous for the results?"

"I am...I am, I just want." He takes both of my hands and makes me look up to him

"It is okay to be affraid. Let's just wait for the results and when we have them, we will make a plan how to move forward" 

"I...You...Tha.." I don't really know what to say and Joongki just hold my hand tighter and I lean my head on his shoulder. 

*                                                  *

"I am okay Jungsoo." I texted Jungsoo yesterday and he has been worried ever since

"You know I had a whole cake ready for you." 

"Aah I am so sorry, hopefully I will be back soon." 

"Arasso, I will call you soon. "

"Okayy" I miss Jungsoo, it is weird not being around him. We both got used to living together that living apart is so weird for the both of us. I put my phone down and I try to get up, but my muscle give in and I can't stand. 

I try again and I am now standing, but I can't really feel my feet. I try to set a step forward and I can't feel if my foot is down or not. This is nothing right? Just a bit numb... Joongki walks back inside and he is looking concerend at me

"Yaejin what are you doing? Are you allright?" 

"I...I can't feel my feet...I can't feel my legs." I start to shake and quickly cathes me and lifts me up and brings me back to the bed

"I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!" I start to freak out "What I am to do? What am I going to do?! I can't feel my legs!" I start to cry and Joongki tries to pull me into a hug and I hit him on his chest. 

He finally has me in a tight embrace and I am crying on his chest. 

"I can't feel my legs" I keep repeating it until it is unregocnisable in my tears. 

Joongki is still holding me and I am now crying sintely.... What if I am never to dance again? What am I going to do? Joongki lets go of me and he looks at me. 

"I...I will get the doctor... You stay here, I will be  back in just a minute." His voice is shaking and I wipe a tear from his cheek. I nod and he gives me a kiss on my forehead.  I don't want to let go of his hand and I keep on holding on as long as I can. 

I lean over to pinch my foot and I can't feel it. I take a deep breath, I shouldn't freak out. I try to move my legs and I can't. I try again and they don't move. The tears are rolling down my cheeks and I... 

"Yaejin, he is coming." He walks over and I try to take his hand , but I miss it. My vission is blurry again and it is getting worse

"Yaejin what is wrong?"

"I ca-can't move my legs.." 

"Okay, the doctor will be here soon." I can hear him standing up and walking to the door "He will be here soon." 

"Joongki oppa..." I blink a few times, but nothing changes. I close my eyes and Joongki rushes over to me

"Don't cry Yaejin." He cupes my face and his voie is shaking

"Joongki....I...I can't see."

*                                                     *

I hear all kind of commontion around me and they are now asking me to stand up. I try my hardest and they help me get up. I can feel someone helping me and when I stand on my two feet I feel like I am going to fall any second. I am tryin my hardest not to fuzz about this, it will be okay...It will b...

 

*                                                  *

"So you have no idea when she will wake up?"

"It can be any second sir. All we can do is wait."

"I have heared that before and look what happened. You told us that her vision wasn't anything serious and now it suddenly is."

"I am deeply sorry for that."

"Can you explain what causes our daughter to lose all strenght in musle and even vision" I can hear my moms shaking voice and she sounds so scared. 

"She has vertebrobasilar Circulatory disorder. It is a very serious condision and we confirmed it after we did the MRI scan"

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is that preciesly?" I hear Joongki speaking up, he is still here?

"Yes please follow me, I will explain it to you in detail" 

I can hear them leave and I take a deep breath, okay...I should try to open my eyes, I am so affraid to open them. I open them slowly and I am not sure if they are open or closed. Everything is still black. 

"So she has no damage from this?"

"For as we know now no, we were in time to help her and we have started treatment immediatly. I will leave you guys to be with her alone, I will be back in a few minutes." 

"Joongki thank you so much for staying with Yaejin trough all of this"

"No problem mam, I am happy that I was here for her."  I can hear them walking towards me and they are sitting now around me

"Yaejin, sweetheart are you awake?" I hear my dad talking and I nod "Where you awake all the time?" I nod again and he takes my hand "You shouldn't worry, everyhing will be okay. How are you feeling now?"

"I...I am feeling okay, I suppose." 

"The doctor told us that you have" He explains to me everything that the doctor told him and I really don't want to hear about it. 

"So there is a chance that I might never be able to dance again." I am fighting with tears and  I can feel the awkward silence

"Yaejin the doctor is very positive that you will be able to do everything that you have been doing. It will take a lot of work, but you will be able to be the best of you again. We believe in you, you can do that." My mom takes my hand and I can hear in her voice that she is trying to suger coat the situation. 

"Yaejin this might not be what you want to hear, but think that you shouldn't continue dancing. You where brought here because you were dancing"

"I wasn't brought here because I was dancing." I open my eyes, but everything is still black "I didn't lose my vision because I was dancing! I lost it because of my accident, nothing else"

"I still think you should quite and just accept that it won't be healthy for you to continue"

"that is enough" My mom speaks up ,but he coninues to talk about me quiting

"I am telling you, you will quite dancing" 

"That is enough. You know how important dancing is to her, stop it." My mom starts to get angry and my dad aswell

"And so what. Yaejin you will quite dancing."

"Get out..."  They don't hear me and I hold on to Joongki's hand and he is the only one supporting me right now "GET OUT!" I scream to my parents and my father stops talking

"Yaejin"

"GET OUT! I AM SITTING HERE BLIND AND INSTEAD OF HELPING ME YOU KEEP ON HURTING ME MORE AND MORE. GET OUT!!" I trow a pillow in the direction of his voice and I can hear them stand up

"GET OUT!" I start to cry and I can hear them leave.

"Yaejin I am ju"

"GET OUT!!"

Jungkook POV

"GET OUT!!" We all stop at the door and I am looking back confused, I came to visit here and I am not the only one that came. I look to Jungsoo hyung and my members and they are all looking confused. 

The door opens and I can see a pillows flying around. Her mother and father are walking out and I can see that her mother is furious

"What where you thinking! You know how much dancing means to her." 

"I am just thinking of what is best for my daughter."

"So am I and perhaps dancing is."

"We will talk about this at home." Her dad walks off and I can see that her mother wants to follow him, but then notices us. She quickly wipes her tears away and smiles at us

"Jungkook, oohh you have grown so much... How did I not see this earlier" She  hugs me tight and I look worried at her

"Is...Is something wrong with her" She starts to slawow her tears away and tries really hard not to show us her tears. 

"She...she has... You should go inside and support her. She lost her muscle strenght and it is very hard for her to walk." 

"Will it pass, will she become better?" I feel like I am in some kind of trance asking these questions

"they are positive  that she will recover and they have started treatment, but something else that you shoudl know... She... Yaejin...My Yaejin has lost her vision as well." A tear rolls of her mothers cheek and I can feel my heart drop.

"They don't know when it will return, it can be the next minute or next month. It depends on how well the medicens work" 

"Can I...Can I see her?"

"Of course Jungkook. She is upset so I thing it will be good for her to have your support"  I am about to open the door when Namjoon pulls me to the side and he is looking serious to me

"I have to go in Hyung." He nods and I open the door they follow me. 

I stop walking and they all bump into me. 

"What are you doing?" Jimin is looking at me questionable and then looks ahead

“Ooh...” They all stand behind me and Jimin hyung puts his hand on my shoulder and I look away from the sight

“Yaejin is crying and Joongki is holding her and is trying to calm her down. It breaks my heart to see them together, but what hurts more is that she is hurt.

 

Yaejin POV

I throw pillows to my father and my mother kisses me on the forehead

“Sweetheart don’t blame him too much, we are both just so worried, we will wait for the results and then we will talk about the future okay.”

I nod and I take Joongki’s hand. He holds my hand close and leans his head against mine. I can feel that he doesn’t know what to say, afraid that his words will upset me

“Where are you going?” I drop my phone and walk away. I can hear Joongki following me. I run up the hill and I can feel people staring and calling me

“Yaejin hold up.” Joongki catches up to me and he takes me hand and pulls me into a hug. I start to cry in his embrace and it feels like the world is crashes down

“What is wrong Yae?” He is holding me close and I can’t really make up any words

“Yae if you tell me, I can help you…I promise I will always tell you my honest opinion…”

“You once promised me that you will be honest…”

“You remember?” I nod and I can hear him chuckle.

“Do you remember?”

“Not everything…It comes back in flashes”

“Ahh arasso..” I can hear that he is a bit disappointed, but he also sounds relieved. I try find his hand and he takes my hand.

“You don’t have to be afraid” He must have read my mind, I smile and he directs my head with his finger “Why do you keep your eyes closed? “

“Won’t it will look weird for me to open my eyes? Won’t they look…”

“Look green, be black.” I giggle and he ticks on my nose.

“Look there they are, beautiful.” I open my eyes and I still can’t see a thing

“Don’t cry, you will be able to see my beautiful face again”

“Yaa…Hahaha I can’t wait to see you beautiful face again.” He wipes away my tear and hugs me

“I am just afraid….What if I won’t be able to see again? What am I going to do? Am I ever going to dance again? How am I?” I stop talking and I start to cry.

“Yaejin, I am here”

“Yaejin I am here….I am here” I wrap my arms around him tightly and I cry my heart out.

“I am never going to leave you…I am here”

 

 

Jungsoo POV

“How is she doing? Is there anything that I can do?” They all went in and I am now here with her mother

“she is hurt and scared” I take her mother’s arm and she smiles at me

“You should go inside Jungsoo she will love to see…She will love it for you to be next to her”

“I think that they will be able to take care of her for a little while, would you like to drink something?”

“I would love that, you are a good person Jungsoo” She pinches my cheeks and smiles at me. Exactly the same smile that Ji has…

We sit down in a café and it is still hard to believe everything, her mother’s is explaining her situation and it is hard to accept all of this. She was fine a few days ago, just because the entertainment wanted her to perform she ended up in the hospital again.

My phone goes again, I have been avoiding answering my phone. I don’t know what to say to Hyukjae. It was already hard to tell him that she was dating Jungkook, but this…This might be harder.

 

Jungkook POV

I am still standing still and Joongki notices me looking at them.  He tries to bow to us, but then seems to remember that he is holding Yaejin and he nods at us.

“Yaejin…BTS is here.” I snap out of my trance and I scrap my throat. Yaejin is wiping her face and Joongki also wipes a tear away. I set a step forward and Yaejin turns to face us.

She smiles and she is staring right passes us. Joongki helps her in what direction to look and she still has a glassy look in her eyes. I can feel myself tearing up and everyone is silence

“Yaejin you won a lot yesterday! I was so happy, you really deserve it!” Hoseok hyung speaks up and they all lose up a bit and walk up to her. They start to move with chairs and Joongki stands up and introduces himself to us.

“I will leave you guys.” He bows to us and Yaejin doesn’t seem to want to let go of his hand. She whispers something but we can hear her clearly

“Will you come back Joongki?”

“I will, I will just give you all some time together.”  He smiles at her and bows one last time to us. If I didn’t know any better I would say that there was something more between them.

“You guys were amazing yesterday, I really enjoyes watching you guys perform.”

“You watch us yesterday?” Jimin speaks up and we all hit him.

“Aah deh… I watch the whole awards together with Joongki. I..I lost my…Today everything went black.” She tries to smile and a tear escapes from her eyes. She quickly wipe sit away and looks away from us.

“Sorry..” She chuckles and I walk over to her and hold her hand and turn her face to face me.

“Nothing to be sorry about.” She is looking right over me and smiles. She tries to find my hand and I grab hers. I try not to cry and I sit next to her and she rest her head on my shoulder.

“How are you feeling?” Jin hyung starts to conversation again

“Good, better as first.”

“We should call you Seokjin otherwise I always get confused” Namjoon hyung takes the conversation into a more cheerful direction and we all laugh.

“Are you and Joongki-shi very close?”

“Yes we really are, why are you jealous jimin? Haha we got really close while filming, we are really similar, our personalities.”

“Haha arasso. You know I came across an fan yesterday and she was so happy that you two are dating”

“Really? Aahh that is so sweet.  Jungsoo also told me that everyone is really positive and all.” She smiles and I take her hand

“I am also very relieved by that. now we don’t have to worry about their reaction so much” she nods to my words and she looks really cute doing so

The doctor walks in and he is here to do a checkup. We all stand up to greet him and make way for him. He introduces himself and then focusses back on Yae

“Yaejin, how are you feeling. Can you feel your legs again?”

“Yes feeling has come back.”  The doctor is testing how her legs are. We are all just looking and I feel a bit scared… I really want Yae to be better soon.

“And your eyes, is everything still black?”

“Yes everything is still black. Do you have any idea when my vision will come back? It will come back right?”

“It will come back, it is just a matter of time and healing. “ He writes something down and makes her dosses of medicine bigger.

“When will everything be back to normal?”

“Why are you in a hurry?” The doctor jokes, but I can see that Yaejin isn’t kidding.

“I  am. I know that I won’t be able to walk next week in Paris couture show, but in less then a month is an other fashion show and award.”

“Yaejin do you want to attend both?” We are all a bit surprised by what she is telling us, but she seem so sure of it.

“I do. Is that possible, is it medical possible”

“It depends on how soon you get your vision back and the situation is under control. It will be medical possible, but physical. If you want to achieve that you will have to do everything in one go. You will have to do therapy and you medical treatment in one go.”

“But is it possible, when can we start”

“Yaejin it won’t be pretty…It will be very hard.”

“That doesn’t matter, when can I start.”

“Lets just wait for your sight to come back okay. Then we will see what to do next.”

“I want to do that, even if my vision won’t be back. Can we start tomorrow”

“Okay, I will discuss it with your parents.”

He leaves and her mother, Jungsoo and Joongki walk back inside. He asks if he can talk with them and they all leave. I walk over to Yaejin and she looks frustrated

“Yae shouldn’t you rest” She looks up and she can’t believe what I am saying

“For the past months, days, weeks, they have been citizensing me. They are saying that I am lazy, fat..”

“yae you know that isn’t true”

“Well I am going to show them that they are wrong, so no. I shouldn’t rest. I should be out there showing them wrong.”

“Okay, okay…I will help you, but…Just don’t over due it, they aren’t worth that.”  I calm her down, but I can see that she doesn't believe me. 

"Are you tired?" We have all been talking, but Yae has been quite the intertime. 

"I am" She doesn't sound mad anymore, but I can see that she still is. 

"I am sorry for the way I reacted earlier."

"Sorry?" Everyone goes quite and is looking at us "Sorry for what?"

"for th-he " I start to stumble and I study her face. 

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Jungkook...You were honest and you gave me your opinion there is nothing wrong wit that, that is in te end what you want in a relationship. So don't be sorry even I won't like your opinion just tell me. honesty is all that matters." 

"Okay...I will be honest with you. " I take her hand and she smiles and mounths thank you . 

 

"Yaejin your mother went to pick up some clothes for you together with Jungsoo they will be back in a few minutes" Joongki walks is and I can see that Yae is lookig for him. She tries to find where he is standing by carefully feeling around in the area

"Aahh arasso, thank you for telling me.." she keeps on reaching for him and he takes her hand. I can see that she is smiling releaved and holds his hand thigt. I let go of her hand and Joongki kneels infront of her

"How are you feeling now?" He mesearues her tempeture and he really looks concenred at her

"I am feeling better..." She takes his other hand and slowly pulls it down, away from her forhead

"Really?  You are looking worse tough..." he jokes and Yae smiles. 

"Aishh....You too" 

"Can  you?" Yae quickly shakes her head and I can feel my exciment falling down as well

"I don't have to see you to know what you look like."

"ohh hahah thank you. I am happy that you are always thinking of me." she hits him and he is smilng broadly.  We are all just watchin how they are talking and I can see that they are going back an forth between me and them

"The medicins should work soon, you aren't as hot anymore as you were before. " Yae nods and he is looking for the right words to say something

"Say it...You promised" He looks back to her and Yae is waiting for him to speak.  She takes both hands between them and she is looking encouraging

"the doctor has explained to us what kind of treatment you want. I..Are you sure? It will be hard and it will hurt a lot."

"I am sure...I am..I want to show all the haters that I am not what they say..."

"Is that the reason? you don't sound to sure of that." 

"Then tell me what do you think that the reason is?" 

"I think that it isn't the haters that you want to prove wrong, but yourself. Knowing you, right now, you feel like a loser, worthless, a failure. You want to prove to yourself that you aren't the things what you are feeling. You also want to prove to the outside world, but mostly to your self that you are a fighter." 

We are all listing to Joongki''s owrds and I never thought about htat. I can see that Yae is touched by his words, he was right saying all of it...How did he know and not me? 

"Yae.." He now takes her hands is his and lifts Yae chin a bit up "You are already a fighter, you have improved so much, you have been trough so much. You are a fighter. You are already a winner. But...But if this is what you want, if this is what you need to do, I will help you. We will all help you. "

Yae is trying to say something, but she is just smiling, keeping shut to prevent crying. I look at Joongki and he has tears in his eyes. He cares so much about her, every single action he does, it just shows. It shows how important Yae is to him and also how important he is to her. 

Yae has always been close to guys a real tomboy, but between them. You can see the love, a bit like jungsoo and her, but different. I can't put my finger on it, something about this...more then friendship, but...It looks like they have been a lot closer then they are now.

The door opens and her mother and Jungsoo walk in. He is carying a bag and it looks like they brought a lot. Her mother immediatly goes to Yae and we all great her. I can see that Joongki gets up and her mother gives him a slight hug before going to Yae.

I follow Joongki with my eyes and Jungsoo stops him and hands him a piece of paper, the takes it with a smile and leaves the room. 

"Yae, we are back. Jungsoo is also here."

"Oppa~" her voice is shaking and she is trying to get up, her mother tries to stop her, but ends up helping her. I can see taht Jungsoo is scared to come to her.

Jungsoo POV

I see Yae trying to stand and I...I am affraid to what I will see. I alrady know her situation, but I have been denying it all day long. I see her standing and she is looking for me, she looks so sad. Her voice is shaking and she is streching her arm out, looking for me. 

"I am here" I walk up to her and she touches my chest lightly... she pulls little smile and I hug her tight. I put on of my hands on her head and she burries her face into my chest.

"Why did you keep my waiting" She hits me on the back and I continue to hold her close and let her hit me.

"I am sorry...I am sorry... I am sorry" 

"Here sit down." I help her sit down and she is refusing to let go of me. I smile at her determination and i look worried at Jungkook. It must not be easy for him, seeing her and joongk and now me... and the fact how her situation is, it must be though on him. 

"We should go, we have to sport tomorrow." they get up and Jungkook doesn't really know what to say to he. we all give them some space. I look at the and jungkook seems still a bit tense.

Yaejin POV

I can feel taht Jungkook is still beside me, I take his hand and I turn to face him. 

"Why are you pussing me away?" He sounds hurt...I tought that I was quit sutle about it. 

"I..." 

"I told you, I am not going." I try to object and he takes both my hands "I know it will be hard, I know. But together we will get trough this.." I can hear that he is sure about this, but unsure about me wanting to have im beside me

"We will" I nod and he gives me a kiss before standing up and leaves. 

I listen to his heavy footsteps fadding away before I let my tears fall. 

 

Jungsoo POV

We all say our goodbyes to them and I give Jungkook a hug. He seems a bit schocked, but hugs me back.

"It is okay if it is to much to handle, don't be affraid to admit that" He nods and I can see that his eyes go to Joongki. 

"They are really close" I wink at him and he nods. They leave, but his worries go with him. 

Joongki is talking to her mom and I head inside to talk to Yae.

"Are you crying?" I look at Yae and she is trying to avoid me

"I am not" 

"Come here" I open my arms and she cuddles into my arms

"You know Jungkook is a bit worried.." I try to talk about it as sudle as I can

"Worried?  About my situation or what do you mean?"

"I mean Joongki. I think he just...You should make clear to him that you two are just friends. Don't make the same mistake twice..."  I whisper the last part and Joongki walks in and I get up to give them some privacy

Joongki POV

"Joongki oppa~ " Sh eholds her hand out and I take it quickly. I sit next to her and take her other hand in mine as well.

"I am here, Yaejin"

"Are you tired?  You have been here all day.."

" No not at all...How are you?"

"I am okay...Just a bit tired"

"You should go and sleep, tomorrow wil be a long day."

"Yes.." Her face stiffens and I tick her on her nose and she smiles. 

"Are you sure about what you want to do?"

"I am..." 

"Okay, I will help you then." 

"Don't forget to take care of yourself aswell, you need to go to thereapy as well." She looks concerned at me, she is still the same as one year ago. 

"I will" I say it to her cutily and she smiles

"Yaejin I have to go." 

"Okii, let me know  that you got home safely. "

"I will, I will keep on bothering you."

"Please do~" 

"Okay.. I will go. I don't know when I wil be able to get bye again, but I will make time for it." 

"Joongki, you shouldn't say anything off. We can call and..And hopelfully we will be able to text soon aswell." 

"We will..We will." I give her a last hug and kiss her on her forehead. I walk out and I bump into Leeteuk.

"Can we talk?"

"It has been a long time since we last seen each other' Leetuek starts to talk first and he looks seroius

"Yes it has been."

"I suppose you heared from the doctor that she can't remember certain things" I nod and he nods back

"Why are you here? You know that she is dating Jungkook, are you here to repeat history?" 

"She is my friend, we have been friends before any of it"

"Before you decided to court her to try to concour her"

"No. Before I fell in love with her." I look at him and he is looking at me in silence 

"We are friends, we have always been friends, I fell in love with her after. "

"Jsut don't, don't do the same thing that you did last time. Even though she might not remember the past, the feelings might still be there."

"I won't do that...Just like you I want to see her happy..."

 

I step in the elevator and look how Jungsoo is walking into her room. The conversation we had is altoo familiar to one we had last year only that one involved an other boy. 

"Song Joongki?" 

"Yes...Aah Leeteuk nice to" 

"Can we talk for a bit." He interupss me and we sit down and I order some drinks for us

"I know that it is probaly none of my buseniss, but since she has been talking to me about it. "

"Yaejin?" He nods and I get nervous, I know that htey are tight, like brother and sister so having him sitting me down like this talking to me...This freaks me out a bit. 

 

Hyukjae POV

We are all joking around and having a blast, it has become easier to be in the army. To be away from friends family and... 

"She is so pretty...Oooh they unvelievable together. they are like unreal, she is too pretty and he..Ughh I am so jealous" I hear them talk and I know for a fact that they are talking about Yae and Jungkook. 

They are right together they are unreal, both too goodlooking and together they are unreal. They used to laugh at me at first, when we were together. they couldn't believe her accicly liking me, but her and Jungkook. It does seem logicly, good looking people are ment to be together right?

"Aren't they great Hyukjae?" I nod and after asking me they seem to regret but I reasure them it is alright. 

I chuckle...Who am I kidding. I hate hearing of them, I hate the toughed of her being with something else. I feel myself tearing up.Ughgh.. I hate  this feeling of crying, the whole day long I have had the feeling like something is wrong. I put my head in my hands, why do I have this afwul feeling, it is no good.

"Hyukjae" Someone calls me and I walk over

"What is wrong sir?" 

"One of your family members has gotten in an accident"

"What? I-I am sorry..What do you mean? "

"Uhm... Yaejin has been hospitalized again"

"Can I go and visit, can I go to the hospital? I-I need to go to the hospital, I need to" I stamble and I can't think straight only one thing is clear to me, I have to go to the hopsital. I need to see her, that I need to go to her. I hold on to his shoulder and prevent myself from collapsing, I hope she is okay...

"Hyung..Hyung..."

"Hyukjae are you coming? They told you didn't they? I am sorry I didn't call"

"I am coming..Hyung can you tell me how she is doing and I will try to come in time." Jungsoo agrees and starts to explain everything to me and I wipe away the tears falling, I never could handle her being in pain and hearing this..It just breaks my heart over and over...

"You made it!" Jungsoo sees me and hugs me. I smile at him and he keeps on asking me things and saying how much he has missed me

"Hyukjae, is that you?" I see her mom and she walks up to me with a smile "How have you been?" 

"I have been well mom. " I hug her and she is happy to see me. She cups my face and checks me from head to toe

"You have gotten so skinny... You should take care of your self, I will come by and visit you soon."

"Don't worry to much about me, you should also take good care about you, Omma..." She nods and smiles at me

"Are you here to see Yaejin?"

"I am, how is she? "  They call over the doctor and he seems to regonzie me and stars to explain everything. He leaves and I need a minute to progress everything, Jungsoo told me most of it, but not the details. 

"Are you okay?" I nod and jungsoo gives me a small smile. 

"Can I go in and see her?  I hav.." I stop midsentence and just smile at them, I don't want to cry... They nod and they guide me to her room.

"We will be back in a few minutes." They leave and I take a deep breath before entering

 

"Hyukjae?" 

"Don't move...I am trying too..." I close my eyes and when I open them Yae is leaning forward and her face is just a few inches from mine. 

"What are you doing?" Her eyes are twinkling, happyness is shinning trough them...

"I am trying to remember, to copy this"

"to remember, to copy...I am affraid I don't quiet understand it yet" She winks at me and  I chuckle.

"I was making a copy of this moment" Her expression softens by my words, but she still looks a bit confused at me

"This moment..." A hair falls infront of her face and I put it back behind her ear

"Of you....I wanted to remember how you wre looking. Beautifull with the sunlight falling from behind, your twinkling eyes... I just don't want to forget this... Us...You"  She blushes and I quickly take an other photo of her

"Hyukjae..." She chuckles. I hope this will never end, this feeling, this moment, us..

 

Walking in only the lamp beside her bed is on. I walk closer to her and there she is. I haven't seen her for some time and my breath slips away seeing her pretty face. I sit down next to her and it is hard not to cry, our lucky times have truly faded.. It seems like years have passed since we were lying in bed, sunlight kissing her skin, our happy days.. 

She looks sick, pretty , but you can clearly see that she has been going through a tough time. She turns and I freeze up, did she wake up?  She continues to sleep and is now facing me. I carres her cheek and move some hair out of ther face. In her sleep her worries always seemed to escape her, but now..She even looks worried in  her sleep. 

I take her hand in mine and her face relaxes. it still works... I chuckle and she is brings her hand and mine to her chest, holding it close. I stop and look at her action for a while....How did she not change a thing not remembering the past? 

"Yae...I am here..." I whisper to her and tears are welling up in my eyes

"I am always here..."