*Title: Not a spider man

*Genre: Fluff, Humor

*Writer: rottenpotatoq

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When planning to move in together, Hyungwon had already foreseen the mess that he and Kihyun would make, however, the reality he’s facing is much more horrible than he thought. They did not call the home delivery service company as Kihyun said they didn’t have much furniture and they could ask their friends to help but now they’re still standing in the middle of a million unopened boxes after one day and a half unpacking and organizing everything by themselves. (screw Jooheon and Minhyuk, Hyungwon silently curses, those brats promised to help but then ran away to Gwangju and didn’t even bother to make a lame excuse.)

Both Hyungwon and Kihyun just finished setting up their living room, they immediately collapsed into the couch, breathed heavily.

“Hyungwon, I need a glass of orange juice or I’ll die of thirst right now.”

Hyungwon is exhausted, of course but he knows the other must be more tired than him as he caught a cold a few days ago so he stands up feebly and walks into the kitchen to get the juice bottle.

Kihyun closed his eyes, solemnly regretting not using the home delivery service, then he heard Hyungwon screamed loudly in the kitchen. He rose up from his spot, stared at Hyungwon standing still, looking like he’s seen a ghost. The taller opened his mouth but couldn’t utter a word, he’s freaking out.

“Hey hey, calm down, what’s wrong?”

“S—

“?”

“What no, hyung, it’s a a—“

“A WHAT???”

“A FREQUING SPOD—SPIDER HYUNG A ING GIANT SPIDER!!” – Hyungwon screamed again then jumped onto the couch.

“Get off me, it’s 38°C and why don’t you just get rid of it?”

“I CANNOT HYUNG I CAN’T, IT’S HUGE AND AND AND- WHAT IF IT BITES ME BEFORE I CAN DO ANYTHING?”

“And stop screaming, there’s no venomous spider living in this apartment. It won’t bite, just go and step over it like a du—“

Kihyun hasn’t finished when he saw a large dark grey creature with too many hairy legs slowly walking out of the kitchen door and now heading to the living room. He let out a high-pitched shout and hugged Hyungwon tightly.

“HYUNGWON, KILL IT NOW!!!”

“NO, YOU KILL IT!!”

“GROW A PAIR OF CHAE HYUNGWON AND KILL IT!”

“WHY ME?”

“Because I’m scared, that’s why.” - Kihyun kept his head low and clutched to Hyungwon’s shoulder harder.

“And you said it isn’t toxic.” – Hyungwon rolled his eyes.

“I’m wrong okay? But maybe it isn’t that dangerous and you’re my ing boyfriend you’d better do it FOR ME.” – The older suddenly screamed again as the spider now is quite near to their couch.

“Promise me you’ll wear the maid costume tonight and I’ll kill it for you.”

“YOU 180CM OF USELESS ERTED UGLY STICK WHAT THE ARE YOU SAYING?” – Kihyun looked at his boyfriend in disbelief. They’re shaking in front of a spider and he’s asking him to wear that thing in bed. He now wants to jump off the window so bad.

“See, hyung, it’s coming and your boyfriend is willing to kill himself to save you from getting attacked why don’t you just say you will—“

There’s a ring at the front door, both jumped in panic.

“Who’s that?” – the two asked in unison.

“Me here, hyung” – It’s Changkyun voice and the two sighed in relief. Hyungwon attempted to get off the couch but at the same time, the spider must think it would be fun to give this tall human a heart attack so it stepped a little ahead and as expected, Hyungwon screeched.

“HELP ME!!!”

“What’s that? Hyung what’s happening? Kihyun hyung, open the door!” – Changkyun shouted.

“I cannot, Changkyun, can you—open it—“

“What?? Do you want me to break through this door?”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Really guys??? But what the is happening??? Tell me or I’ll leave now”

“Watch your mouth, Im Changkyun and there is this spider threatening our lives here!”

There was no response from the outside. Kihyun and Hyungwon looked at each other, fear written all over their faces.

“Hey, are you still there??”

“NO I’M LEAVING YOUR CHICKEN ASSES WITH THAT SPIDER HOPE IT WILL EAT YOU TWO ALIVE!”

“We aren’t joking, it’s really big I can see the stripes on its legs, it must be dangerous.” Hyungwon cried out.

“Then get your up and open the door, hyung, do you think I have supernatural power to kill it from distance?”

Hyungwon sighed, his boyfriend is hugging him like a koala clinging to a bamboo tree, he must walk open the door but that hairy terrorist is still standing in the way. Finally, he jumped over the back of the couch and headed to the door, Changkyun stepped in, the younger looked like about to murder both of the two instead of the spider.

“Where’s it?”

The couple pointed at the black spider now is only a meter away from their seats.

“What did I do so wrong to deserve these two stupid gutless ?” - Changkyun groaned while holding up his left boot and walking towards the spider then hit it constantly (six times, as Kihyun counted).

“It’s dead.” - Changkyun said, despisingly looked at his big hyungs still frozen on their couch.

“What's with that look? You think I’m the spider man telling this spider to get out of your love nest?”

Kihyun and Hyungwon slightly shook their heads.

“You two better treat me fried chicken and beers and ice cream or I’ll throw this dead spider into your bedroom, no, your bed.”

Both Kihyun and Hyungwon gulped then nodded their heads as if they’re listening to their mother.

***

By the time Kihyun walks into his and Hyungwon’s shared bedroom, it’s already 1 AM and his boyfriend didn’t make up their bed, he just lied on the blanket with eyes closed.

“Get up, Hyungwon, gettttt upppppp!”

His boyfriend refused to move, Kihyun had to push him aside to turn the blanket over then he saw an unidentified object below his pillow.

“I SWEAR ON THE DEAD BODY OF THIS GODDAMN SPIDER IM CHANGKYUN I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!”

***

“Ah-choo!”

“Are you cold?” – Wonho turned to his boyfriend thinking he might have set the temperature too low.

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“You sneezed. By the way, what should we bring to Hyungwon and Kihyun’s housewarming party this Sunday?”

“Maybe we don’t have to, hyung, I already gave them a present.”

“If you say so.” – Wonho shrugged, he pulled Changkyun closer and continued their peaceful Saturday night with fried chicken and beers.