When Jinki walked into the band’s so called backstage, he could already hear the familiar tune of Jonghyun’s guitar. Since they were all together as a group, they used to go to that place to practice, to talk or even to relax, even though it wasn’t something that they’d agreed to do every day. In fact, Jonghyun was the only one who used to go there every day, so Jinki ended up appearing more often, so they could talk a little and practice together.

On that day, Jinki expected Jonghyun to smile at him as soon as he appeared in the bar, as he usually does, just to be disappointed when he didn’t. Jonghyun kept looking at his guitar, as if he was still alone, so Jinki decided to leave him alone for a while. He sat on a chair next to the bar counter and kept silent, listening to the music.

Jonghyun was playing a song that Jinki have never heard before; much different from the ones he usually plays. This one was really calm, serene, but at the same time intense. Jinki stayed focused on the song and on Jonghyun for a few minutes until he became thirsty and got up to drink some water.

The movement, however, didn’t go unnoticed by the guitarist and he jumped, startled to see that he was not alone anymore. “Jinki? What are you doing here?”

“I came to practice a little.”

“How long have you been here?”

Jinki finished gulping down the water and then walked to Jonghyun sitting at his side. “Long enough to notice that you’re not feeling good.”

“I’m fine.” Jonghyun said, looking down at his guitar again and playing a few notes. “Everything’s fine.”

“Oh come on, whom are you trying to fool?” Jinki sighed, picking up the guitar and setting it aside to sit even closer to the other. “I’ve known you for a long time now and it didn’t take much to realize you’re not okay. You’re only playing sad songs.”

“It’s the same old thing.” He huffed like he was angry and put his fisted hands on top of the table. “Kibum drives me insane.”

Jinki felt a pang on his heart at the name’s mention but did his best to appear calm. “Kibum? I thought you guys broke up some time ago.”

“Well, we did but… The night you came to pick me up at that restaurant?” Jonghyun waited for Jinki to confirm he remembered and then continued. “He was there too because Tiffany is a mutual friend. I thought I would be alright seeing him again after those two months but the truth is that he still messes with me.”

“Jonghyun-“

“You know what’s worse? It’s that I know he’s been a mess ever since I left the house and I can’t help but feel guilty for it.” Jonghyun blurted, trying to refrain tears from falling. “I miss him. But I honestly don’t know if I miss Kibum as my friend or as my boyfriend.”

Jinki remained silent because he didn’t know what else to say to Jonghyun. That was some complicated situation he was in and Jinki couldn’t help but feel bad for the other. Although he was kind of happy when he first heard the news that Jonghyun and Kibum had broken up, because he had a tiny crush on their band’s guitarist, seeing Jonghyun always so sad and gloomy, a shadow of what he used to be, make him feel sad too.

“I’m sure you’ll get over it soon.”

Jonghyun scoffed and looked at Jinki. “How do you get over a relationship of 4 years in so little time? I can’t just ignore that he was also my best friend before we started dating.”

“I’m sorry Jjong, that’s not what I meant, I just-“

There was a knock on the door and the both of them turned their heads in to that direction.

Standing awkwardly at the door was Kim Kibum with an unsettling expression on his face, alternating his gaze between the two band members. He pointed behind his back and bit his lip. “Uh, Jungah let me in.”

“What are-“ Jonghyun coughed since his voice was a bit higher than usual. “What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping we could talk? Maybe? Only if you want and have the time though because I don’t want to impose myself and-“

Jonghyun got up and that made Kibum shut up. “Of course we can talk.”

“Here? Now?”

“Yeah, I think I have some time before the actual practice begins.”

Kibum smiled but still looked uncomfortable. “Cool, but I…” His gaze shifted to Jinki and Jonghyun understood why he was feeling awkward.

Jinki seemed to understand it too because he got up and muttered some excuse about needing to clean the tables and the counter. He exchanged a greeting with Kibum when he passed by him and then disappeared of their line of sight although they could still hear him in the back.

Jonghyun lead Kibum to sit on the edge of the little stage they had for the band’s concerts and the both of them stayed quiet for a long time, feeling awkward and avoiding eye contact. Until Kibum got sick of it and turned to the older, looking straight into his eyes.

“I missed you.” He confessed, feeling brave. “These past months have been a living hell without you, I don’t want this to continue when I know that we’re still not over each other.”

Jonghyun held his breath when he realized how serious Kibum was about the subject but he couldn’t help but have doubts about it. Yes, it was true that he also missed Kibum and it was true that he wasn’t over him already but what if it was a mistake? Their relationship didn’t go the right way at first so why would it work at the second try?

Jonghyun was very confused and he let his gaze wander until it rested on Jinki. The vocalist was indeed cleaning the table but he didn’t seem very concentrated in what he was doing since he kept glancing in their direction and with every table he got closer to them.

“Look, Kibum, I’m…”

Hopeful, Kibum widened his eyes and Jonghyun couldn’t help but feel bad. “Yes?”

“I don’t know if it’s going to work. What if we damage our friendship even more?”

“But how will we know if we don’t even try?”

Jonghyun stared at Kibum and how he seemed so close to tears and extended his hand to cup his face. Kibum closed his eyes when his hand made contact with his cheek and Jonghyun smiled, wondering how long had it been since he last touched him.

“I missed you too.”

Suddenly, there was a loud crash, ending the sweet moment between the two of them. They both jumped in their places and looked to the side only to find Jinki crouching down next to one of the tables, looking at the ground.

Jonghyun was quick to react and in a second was by Jinki side trying to understand what had happened. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I just…. This fell out of my hands and the noise…. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt but I the ashtray just fell. I don’t know, I-“

“Hey, hey, Jinki.” Jonghyun called, turning the other’s head to him. “It’s okay, it’s happens. What’s important is that you’re not hurt, okay? Show me your hands?”

Jinki looked at his hands and then showed them to Jonghyun who was relieved when he didn’t saw blood. He helped the other get up and then asked him to get a bag where they could put the broken pieces. Jinki nodded and quickly went to search for the plastic bag while Jonghyun waited for him still in the ground.

“Is Jinki hurt?”

He looked up finding Kibum staring at him. “No, he’s okay. There’s no blood so he’s okay.”

“He didn’t look okay to me. Somewhat he seemed a little nervous.”

Jonghyun nodded and was about to answer when Jinki appeared again with the bag and helped Jonghyun putting the pieces inside, closing the bag and excusing himself to take it to the trash can. Kibum helped Jonghyun getting up by extending his hand to him, which he gladly took, and when he stood up, he smiled fondly at Kibum, thanking him.

“So… About our talk…”

“Let’s try again.” Kibum almost pleaded, not giving him time to finish. “We don’t even need to take it back to where we were. Just taking it slow…”

“Kibum, I don’t know if it’s-“

“Please, Jonghyun, please. I’m not the same without you.”

Jonghyun sighed and put his hand on Kibum’s arm. “I’ll think about it, okay? I promise you.” He the arm he had a hand on. “But you can’t be so stuck to me, Kibum. You are a wonderful person; you’re amazing at making new friends… I’m sure you’re just saying that because we’ve been together since forever and we don’t really know how to be with another person but you have other people in your life too.”

“I know but-“

“We both need to think about this and if that’s really what we want.”

Kibum nodded and sighed, defeated. “Okay, okay. I’ll think about it.”

Without thinking too much, Kibum started to lean in on Jonghyun, aiming for a kiss. Jonghyun didn’t seem to mind since he didn’t move an inch since Kibum started to get closer and he was looking at his lips. But before they could join their mouths, Kibum’s loud ringtone was heard and they jumped apart, startled.

Kibum picked it up from his pocket and looked at the caller ID, recognizing the number as Minho’s. He frowned and rejected the call, making a mental note to call him later. He looked back up at Jonghyun who was frowning too.

“Who was that? I didn’t recognized the number but seems like you did.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a long story.” Kibum chuckled and felt his cheeks getting warm. “For another time. He’s just a recent friend.”

Jonghyun frowned even more and find the whole situation suspicious. “He? It’s a man?”

“Hm, yeah. But really, he can wait. We don’t need to talk about it now.”

“But why isn’t the contact saved in your list?”

Kibum blinked and shrugged. “I don’t know, I just didn’t have the time to do it. Are we really wasting time talking about this?”

“Sorry, it’s just that I find it weird.”

“What’s so weird about it?” Kibum asked, starting to get irritated that Jonghyun just didn’t let the matter go. “He’s a new friend and I still didn’t had the time to save his contact on my phone. He’s not even that important…”

Just as he said those words, his phone started to ring again and it was the same person calling him. Jonghyun lifted an eyebrow upon seeing the same number and started pointedly at Kibum, making him scoff.

“It doesn’t seem to me that he’s not important.” Jonghyun said. “Go on, answer it.”

“Jonghyun, come on…”

Jonghyun shook his head and lifted his hand to stop him. “I have to prepare the things for tonight and practice. We’ll talk some other time.”

“See? This is exactly what made me so mad at you.” Kibum snapped, furious. “You just said that maybe we’re not sure if this is what we want and that I’m like this because I’ve been with you since forever and now you’re making a scene because a friend you don’t know is calling me?”

“I’m sorry if I’m jealous! You were the one who said you couldn’t live without me but you’re already out meeting new friends.”

Kibum scoffed, finding it hard to believe in what was happening. “What the hell, Jonghyun? Was I supposed to stay home crying all these months while you’re in your concerts having fun?”

At that Jonghyun seemed to understand what he was actually saying and how opposite it was from what he had said before. He sighed and walked back to the other.

“Look, I’m sorry. I have no right to want you to stay away from new people, not after what I just said.”

Kibum nodded, relieved and pulled him into his arms. “Let’s really try this time.”

“Sure. But now I really have to go.” Jonghyun pulled away but still held one of Kibum’s hands. “Come to the show tonight. We can talk more, after it.”