Jongin felt dumb for standing in front of his friend's door again and knocking, but it was his own fault. He shouldn't have lost his phone here.

It took a few seconds until the door was opened by the familiar face.

“Uhm, hey. I-I forgot my-” Jongin wanted to explain, but quickly got interrupted.

“Here.” Sehun held out the phone.

The tanned boy hesitated but took the device.

“Are you alright?” Jongin asked him, receiving a short nod.

“Yeah. May... I come in? Just to chill out with you...” The tanned boy murmured while kicking some air, Sehun nodded while not seeming to be quite by his senses.

The awkward tension between didn't behave like disappearing. Jongin cleared his throat, throwing one leg over the other, tilting his head from left to right, not knowing where to start.

“So... Are you sick or something? You don't look well...”

Sehun chewed his inner cheek in anger.

“Nope, I'm fine.” he quickly replied, leaving the other with a skeptically raised eyebrow. But he didn't say anything else.

“Since you are one of my closest buddies... I wanted to announce something to you...” Jongin was shaking his left foot, hanging loosely over his other leg. He is nervous, must be serious. Sehun quickly realized.

“I have a boyfriend, Kyungsoo. Chanyeol probably told you about him.”

Sehun didn't yell, scream, laugh, congratulate, shout or react in any damn way. Somehow Jongin was disappointed at the missing reaction from the other.

“Congrats.”

Sehun had no guts to express his true feelings. If he was honest, his heart was in his boots. But he just sat there in his baggy pants, wide shirt, silently feeling a part of him break.

“Th-Thanks.”

It wasn't that Sehun didn't feel anything. He felt so many emotions at once that he simply couldn't decide.

“I shouldn't bother you any longer.” Jongin said then, already standing up and walking, well, almost running to the front door. Wow what a long chill out. Sehun managed to reach the door and bid goodbye. Jongin looked like he was running away from wolves.

As soon as his friend wasn't visible to him anymore he slammed the door shut and leaned against it.

You won't cry. Damn, you won't cry again.

For a second he gained back control and stared at his bruised arms for a long minute.

What am I doing with my life.

Sehun wanted to cry, rip his chest open to destroy that unbearable pain. Why did it hurt so much? Jongin was – used to be – his best friend, and he should be endlessly happy for him.

But he wasn't. He was everything but not happy. Not for him, not for himself.

All he felt was a big bleeding wound at the place where his heart had used to pound to keep him alive. He didn't feel alive anymore.

With trembling legs he slid down, his back pressed against the door, until he was sitting on the floor, letting all of his feelings free.

He cried. Something he was doing way to often these days.

And somewhere, in the depths of the suddenly dark-seeming apartment, there was a phone, ringing, trying to get the crying boy's attention. But he wouldn't hear. All he noticed was his pain and the sound of the broken heart, pounding infinitely loud in his ears.

[...]

“Why does this kid has a phone when he doesn't even pick it up for one ing time.”

Like so often, Chanyeol threw away his own device, a big piece of worry in his voice.

“He is acting so weird lately-”

“CHANYEOL! KYUNGIE-POO HAS A BOYFRIEND!” Baekhyun screamed, obviously more than just excited, staring at his phone and typing happily.

Chanyeol ran a hand through his messy hair in frustration. “Good for him.” he murmured, seemingly annoyed.

Baekhyun pouted. “Look how cute they are!”

The smaller one showed his lover the new profile picture of his best friend, not without squeaking loudly.

“Well... They are cute. I'm happy Jongin finally found someone.” he admitted. Baekhyun agreed loudly.

“But, I'm really worried about Sehun.” he then mumbled.

“Nah, he is old enough. He is probably chilling his life, now that he hasn't that gobbler named Jongin around.” Baekhyun jokingly said, but it didn't amuse his boyfriend in any way.

“Don't you talk about Jongin like that.”

“Common. I didn't mean it. Now come here. It's late and I'm thirsty.” Baekhyun put away his phone and laid backwards, his lips seductively.

Chanyeol couldn't resist, how would it be even possible? So he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend sincerely.

[…]

Monday. It was late in the morning, when Sehun barely realized that he wouldn't make it to work on time. But for once, he didn't give a .

His arms were burning, the scars probably already catching inflammation. But he didn't care.

He was lying there, waiting for something to happen, but it didn't. It was the opposite from what he had been feeling yesterday. He felt empty but on the other side he physically felt sore.

Sehun seemed to be wrapped in cotton wool by some dark magic when he forced himself to stand up to stumble to the toilet.

Just when he was releasing some urine, the door was ringed. Seriously?

He almost ignored it, but the person didn't stop penetrating his door. Quickly zipping his pants he staggeringly left the bathroom – not even bothering to wash his hands – and opened the door.

To his surprise he found Chanyeol standing there.

“Hey.” he smiled, but the smile dropped as fast as it had appeared.

“Sehun? Are you okay?”

“Why is everyone asking the same ing question?” he barked carelessly.

Chanyeol looked at him with an undefinable gaze. Sehun looked pale, his eyes red and barely opening, voice sore and obviously pissed off. He knew this guy better than his mother and could tell – Chanyeol never had seen Sehun in such a bad condition.

“Because they care.” he softly replied.

“No one cares... Now, what do you want from me?” Sehun asked rudely.

Chanyeol plaid with the tips of his fingers while talking. He did not dare to face the big amount of hatred burning in the other's eyes.

“Do you love Jongin?”

Sehun blinked a few times, waiting for the question to be handled by his pudding-like brain.

“What?”

His mouth was dry, his heartbeat raised, his face heated up and all the thoughts were running through his overwhelmed head.

Before leaned against the door frame, closing his burning eyes for a long moment of realization.

“No.” his mouth said. But his heart scream yes.

Chanyeol watched the scenario without comments. He totally loves him.

“Please leave now.” Sehun breathed out, completely unable to cope with all the impressions at once.

Do you love Jongin?

The question still was ringing in his head while he closed the door.

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We kinda reached the . I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense.

Thanks for 30 subs and the lovely comments! ♥