[Warning, this chapter may appeal triggering to some people.]

Sehun hectically searched his phone, running through every room and throwing his spread clothes around in panic. Where is it.

It was not the most enjoyable way to start a Sunday morning.

They gonna chop my head off.

Sehun had spend his entire weekend with eating ice cream and chips and playing video games while drowning in self-pity. He had totally forgotten that he had to meet his dance crew.

Checking the clock he realized that he was already running late but he simply couldn't go there without his phone. After all, he was the one responsible for bringing their new song they would practice on. Normally he would've messaged Jongin or Yixing to inform them but how when he hadn't got his phone, where is that damn piece of ?

Sehun banged his head against the wall in frustration.

“. . .” he hissed and started to walk around again.

[…]

“Has anybody seen Sehun or Jongin?” Yixing asked loudly, looking at the other two, already stretching their legs.

Hoseok and Jungkook just shook their heads.

“Maybe their making out.” Hoseok jokingly said and Jungkook agreed with a giggle. The older one rolled his eyes and tried to remember the song they had chosen.

“Sehun is the last one who would ever make out with anyone.” Yixing suddenly spoke, making the other two shut their mouths.

[…]

Jongin was staring at the fragile boy lying in his arms, sleeping in peace, his lips pulled into a soft smile. He breathed as calmly as possible to not wake the other up.

Funny how they knew each other only since a few days and already were making sleep overs and had already kissed. Jongin just hoped that it wasn't too early.

Suddenly he heard a purr on his chest and instantly had to grin.

“You're already awake?” Kyungsoo asked, turning his head to stare into the other's eyes.

Jongin simply nodded and twined his arms around the warm body.

“Jongin, may I ask you something?” Kyungsoo broke the short lasting silence.

“Of course.”

“Do you believe in love at the first sight?”

Jongin hesitated and ran his hand through Kyungsoo's good smelling, soft hair.

“To be honest, I always thought that was bull. I always thought it was impossible. But when I met you, I just didn't remember my own name anymore. I always heard those stories, like, you feel butterflies in your tummy and all the I never believed in. But yeah, I did not feel butterflies when I saw you...” Jongin paused for a while, already feeling the disappointment of the other.

“I feel the whole damn zoo running through my whole body.” he ended his sentence, making Kyungsoo look up at him.

“Really?” his voice cracked a little, maybe because he couldn't really believe what he had just heard.

“Yes. Maybe it's way too early to say that, but I'm kinda sure. I fell for you.” Jongin whispered.

Kyungsoo blushed and couldn't find the right words to say, but it wasn't necessary.

The other grabbed his chin and kissed him sincerely.

“I think I-I love you too.” Kyungsoo stuttered, breaking the kiss.

Jongin embraced him, not wanting to let him go.

[…]

“I'm sorry guys! I couldn't find my phone. But here I am!”

A totally exhausted Sehun ran into the mirrored room, the other's turning around and greeting him in an annoyed way.

“Do you have the song?” Yixing, the leader of them, immediately wanted to know.

“Yes. Yes. Wait, I have my phone.”

Yixing held his chest and breathed out theatrically, symbolizing his relief.

Sehun took out his phone, but somehow it felt weird to hold, so unfamiliar. He noticed that it wasn't even the brand he used.

, it's Jongin's. He must have dropped it in my flat.

Sehun stared at the foreign wallpaper, it was a picture of Jongin's dancing shoes. Since he didn't know the password, he couldn't unlock to check if his friend – Sehun questioned if that word would describer their relation right – had the song they needed on his phone.

“Sehun? What are you waiting for? We need the music.” the leader crossed his arms, impatiently wanting the younger to connect the device with their music speakers.

“Uhm, Hyung. This isn't mine … I forgot it at home... I-I don't have the song.” Sehun stuttered.

Yixing glared at him, obviously angry, trying his best to stay collected.

“Are you ing kidding me? We were waiting for you for an hour and now you aren't even prepared? Is there anything you are doing right?” Yixing started to rattle.

Jungkook appeared next to him, leaving Hoseok alone, leaning against the mirror.

“Hyung, he just forgot it.”

While speaking, the maknae placed his hand on the leader's shoulder.

Sehun felt small. He was the tallest in the crew but he felt useless and unbelievable small. Like a child that hadn't understand his homework and now got yelled by his parents.

Yixing hit the maknae's hand and glared at Sehun with a hiss.

“Leave.”

Sehun winced, raising his head to meet the burning gaze of the other.

“Wha-”

“I said leave! What are you waiting for? Nobody needs a useless piece of like you! And tell Jongin that he doesn't need to appear either!” Yixing shouted, making Sehun shrink, nod and walk away faster than ever.

Sehun couldn't hold his tears back anymore. As soon as he had reached the road, he started to cry, not caring about anything anymore.

When he arrived home, all he did was running into his room and avoiding all life, all day long, drowning in a tsunami of tears, frustration and loneliness.

Hours passed by and Sehun was still lying in his room, only that he wasn't wetting his pillow with sob-attacks anymore.

Why did he feel so miserable? There were so many answers but none of them would fit properly.

His eyes were burning and swollen, his face was wet and swollen and his lips were sore and swollen from all the biting.

Slowly he dared to move his body out of the messy bed and leave the chaotic room.

It seemed like a trance when he entered the bathroom and took out a shaver. It felt like a nightmare when he took out the blade.

Nobody needs a useless piece of like you!

He was right.

Without wasting another thought, he leaded the razor blade over his white, milky skin on his arm. Immediately red stripes were visible and soon the first blood drops stained his white shirt and colored the white sink.

Old habits he swore never to do again. Well, things change. They change a lot.

The boy felt like he was high when he looked into the mirror. It was a foreigner who staring back at him, with a cold, unforgiving gaze.

But suddenly the reality seemed to change and Sehun gained his senses back.

What the am I doing here?

He dropped the blaze onto the floor in fear and hectically began to wash all of the blood away. The whole sink and his clothes were gaining a reddish color. His eyes were wide when he smashed the tap shut and stumbled backwards.

He was definitely going crazy. Sehun wanted to take out his phone to text Jongin, but it still was Jongin's and he still hadn't found his own. He wanted someone to talk to, he needed someone, he needed Jongin.

Sehun had never had felt this helpless before.

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I swear this wasn't planned. I'm sorry. Btw the story will have about 3 chapters before reaching the end. (I guess).

Thanks so much for over 20 subscribers! You guys are awesome! And also thank you for commenting! ♥ Love you guys.

[I do not promote self-harm in any way]