Again I had a solitary episode that day. I replayed scenes of us together in the recent past, and eventually pieced it together. I am so stupid, I thought to myself. All this time…it was right under my nose. I gave him friendship chocolate on Valentine’s Day, he knew I liked ‘somone else’, ‘my same age’… How could I not see…? I felt angry at him. Stupid! He was dumb for ruining everything like this!! Ugh, it made me feel sick.
“Ji-na~ I have something for you.” My mother called through the door.
“Just leave it. I’ll get it later.” I called back.
“It’s treats. From a boy. Actually, two.” She called back. “How many boys did you confess to on Valentine’s Day?” She joked.
“Just one.” I muttered, opening the door. 
“Yoseob came by and dropped these off. Also…another young man dropped this off.” She handed me 2 small bags. Another young man?
“Did you confess to Yoseob?” She said, eyebrows raised in curiosity.
“No. Thanks.” And I shut the door. I didn’t even look at them. I threw them to the side by my trashcan, going back to my bed. Yoseob, Yoseob. He was…just that. Yoseob, my friend. Then I sighed, and dared to look over at the trashcan where the treats lay. I looked at them and crawled over. I picked up the pink bag first. Inside was 4 small white-chocolate hearts. A note.
“To Ji-na.” A neat set of handwriting that wasn’t recognizable.
I opened the flower sticker flap. Inside was a simple blue and pink letter.

To Ji-na,
I want to thank you so very much for the treats you gave me on Valentine’s Day. I love chocolate, as you know ^_^ I am afraid that I may have hurt your heart on that day. But I want you to know that I still want us to be friends. I think you’re a great person, and hope you enjoy the treat. Thanks again ^_^
Love from KiKwang 

“Oh my…” I put a hand over my mouth. I wasn’t even expecting that from him!! My heart soared. My previous depressing thoughts about Yoseob flew out the open window and I danced around my room in bliss. 
He still sincerely wants to be friends! I re-read the note over and over. 
“He thinks I’m a great person, kyah!” I dug out my lyric book and sketches. Slightly crumpled from last time, but still neat enough for use.
Time to get to work.

I felt a breath of fresh air come into my life as I pursued KiKwang-oppa again. I was in full spring-love mode. I hadn’t seen Yoseob in days, he hadn’t come by my house, and I hadn’t come by the studio in a while. I didn’t even know if he had made it into Cube or not. He didn’t talk to me, and I didn’t talk to him. I felt empty without his constant barges into my life and perkiness…but I told myself that it was his fault for throwing things like that at me without any warning, and dismissed it with a wave of my hand and wrote up more wedding plans. 
“He should have known better to not say something like that to me!” I said aloud to myself one day while drawing up wedding colors and themes. I felt fed up with the whole thing. I looked over at the mint-green colored bag near my trashcan, still untouched. No doubt it was from him…already 2 weeks have gone by. Whatever was in there was probably rotten. But I felt evil throwing them out, so I just left them there. I wonder if he made it or not…I thought guiltily. I should say something. But I don’t want him to get all sappy on me. I shuddered. It was awkward! Ok, so there’s really nothing wrong with Yoseob, really. I mean he’s a goofball and all, but he’s cute. And has an amazing singing voice…but that’s beside the point! The point is that is he’s my friend, my brother, practically. But lately we’ve been strangers…
I flipped open my phone and found Yoseob’s name. I had my fingers ready to type…but type what? “I’m sorry, but I don’t like you”? Or, “Oh, by the way, I’m still totally in love with your best friend”!?
Yeah. That’s not gonna work. I sighed. There’s gotta be something I can say. I mean, I don’t want to be like this forever.
Finally I decided on: *Did you get results from your audition yet?*
I sent it, and crossed my fingers. A few minutes later, my message ping went off. I flipped it open.
**Yeah, I made it
He even sent a smiley! That means we definitely are on good terms! I grinned and typed back quickly. 
**No way! Congratulations!  
I hesitated, then added *We should go out and celebrate!*
It was a few minutes before he replied. Finally, the ping came. I flipped open my phone. *How about tomorrow?*
He didn’t say anything about what we want to do…I battled within myself. I want to be his friend, but I don’t know what he’s like now. Is he going to turn it into a date, or something weird? Usually we hung out at my house, or more like he barged in on whatever I was doing…but it was weird now. I didn’t want to be alone with him…aish! I shook my head. 
Why are you fighting this? 
Huh? Oh, right. My conscience.
Why are you fighting his feelings for you? It asked again.
“There’s nothing to fight!” I said outloud, then quickly typed back. *Let’s go to the park!*


I was nervous going to the park that day. Not the butterflies in my stomach nervous, but more like…uncertain nervous. Would we just go back to normal? Or would there be that weird static?
I stepped on the green grass to a swing to sit by a blonde boy. He turned to me, and I saw that it was Yoseob.
Yoseob?! 
I stopped and my jaw dropped. Blonde hair!? Never in the existence of the world I have imagined Yoseob with blonde hair. It was…I don’t even know. Unnerving? Weird? But…at the same time, it suited him.
He laughed seeing my expression. The smile didn’t hide any sadness, no hidden intentions underneath. It was normal, natural. I smiled, relieved. I didn’t realize how much I had been longing for his presence since...well, last time.
“What is up with your hair?” I said, kicking my legs off the ground. “When did you suddenly turn into Draco Malfoy?” I felt no barrier at the present time, so why not just talk normal?
He laughed harder. “That’s what it is! Yah, I’m evil now, mwahahaha!” 
“Did you dye it for your debut?”
“Yeah, we’re gonna be in a group called BEAST. It’s gonna be so epic.”
Wow. It was really happening. After all those years of training…Yoseob was finally getting his dream. 
“…Wow.” I was seriously impressed. “That’s so…amazing.” 
“Yeah, I’m excited. It’s gonna be so much work, though~ I hate work.” He pouted.
“Yeah, but it’ll be a good change.” I said, looking at the blue sky dotted with white clouds. “That’s just…wow!” I couldn’t wrap my mind around it! I would see him on stage, dancing and singing!
“I’ll have to move.” He said, still looking straight ahead into the open sky. “I’m moving into an apartment with the guys.”
I stopped my swing. “You’re…moving…out?” 
“Yeah, since we have non-stop preparation until October. That’s our debut! WOOO!”
I didn’t know what to say. I mean, what was I supposed to say to that? I just nodded slowly, trying to take it in. I’ll admit, I felt sad. He was…moving out.
Yoseob stopped his swing, grinning mischievously. “I know, I know~ you just can’t wait to see me go~” He sang.
“I’ll miss you.” I said shortly, and pushed my feet off the ground hard.
“Aw, c’mon! Don’t be afraid to say it: you’ll miss me.” 
I stubbornly kept my mouth shut. I wasn’t going to give him any satisfaction.
“Ji-na, I don’t want you to think that…you can’t talk to me like always, or that you’re afraid I’ll take something the wrong way just because of…what I told you.” He said, no joking in his voice.
I turned red, cringing. Of course he just had to bring up White Day, just when we were getting along! He crossed the awkward invisible line.
He continued. “I just want things to go back to normal. Just…forget that I said anything.” He started swinging again.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said stiffly, still not sure what to say. Did he really mean it? We could just be…brother and sister again?
“Haha, yes! Alright, that’s what I’m talking about! Let’s get ice cream, Ji-nannie!” He jumped off the swing and did a cartwheel, just like a hyperactive 5 year-old.
I smiled, and felt relieved. “Ok, then!”

I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders that day. We were like normal. Of course, a mark had been left, but it was so slight that I overlooked it so that I could enjoy our time together…it would be the last time I would get to see him for a while, and I didn’t want him to remember me on a bad note.
Of course, my infatuation with KiKwang-oppa didn’t change. I constructed a game plan again. One day, I decided to go down to the studio again. It was the first time being there since White Day. The difference was that I wasn’t going to confess…no, not…yet. Just…wanted to go down for a visit. I took special care in dressing myself that day, straightening my hair, and even made sandwiches and drinks to bring around noon for the band. Yes, I was determined to remind KiKwang-oppa of our happily ever after awaiting us.
I walked into the studio, feeling good. Coming closer down the hallway, I could hear echoes of beat-heavy, slow R&B music. Was that Yoseob’s voice…?
I peered into the glass, and saw the BEAST members moving in rythym, KiKwang-oppa at the front and center, of course…he was the best dancer. I grinned and my heart swelled, smitten. Next to him was Yoseob, who was doing more singing rather than dancing. His brow furrowed in concentration as he sang into the mic passionately. I stared, and my heart skipped several vital beats weirdly.
I quickly went down the hallway, feeling oddly flustered. I found a receptionist at a desk. She looked up, and seeing my cargo, rolled her eyes.
“Is this for 4Minute? Honey, they’re in Taiwan right now.”
“No, this is the new group BEAST. My friends are in that group.” I snapped back, irritated at her.
“Name?”
“Lee Ji-na, friends of all the BEAST members, but specifically Lee KiKwang and Yang Yoseob.” I only put his name in there to give myself my credibility…unless he would pretend to not know me…Yoseob would do that. But KiKwang-oppa would defend me, right?
Her eyes narrowed, but she took it.
“Thank you.” I bowed and went back down the hallway to the door.
I was disappointed that I didn’t get to see KiKwang-oppa~but! I did get to see him dance! “He’s so cool~” I breathed, watching him monitor himself in the wall mirror. Yoseob was continuing on, concentrated at his reflection. He must be singing a solo, I thought, watching him carefully. He must’ve caught me looking, because he met eyes with me and smiled slightly while still singing at his reflection.
That weird feeling…I whipped around, heading out the door for good this time.

Around noon, I got a phonecall.
“Hello?” I said.
“Ji-na-ah?” A familiarly wonderful voice said. It was no other than KiKwang-oppa.
“Oh, hi!” I said, happily. I pressed the phone to my ear carefully, listening intently.
The butterflies went off in my stomach.
“We got your lunch just now. Thanks so much, it’s real good.” I heard him laugh his cute awkward laugh that I adored so much. I grinned real wide, unable to contain my happiness. I danced around my room. “I’m so glad you like it! I knew you guys would be hungry, so…” I trailed off, out of breath.
“Hey, who are ya talkin’ to?” I heard Yoseob’s voice shout. “Hey, is that Ji-na? Let me talk to her real quick!”
No! I thought furiously. I swear, Yang Yoseob, if he hands you the phone…
“Hey, Ji-na, Yoseob wants to talk to you real quick. Here he is.” 
“Wait, KiKwang-oppa--!”
“Yo!” I heard Yoseob chirp.
I deflated, irritated. “You stupid!! I was talking to KiKwang-oppa!”
“Hey, did you make that food for us?” He asked.
“Yes!”
“Awww man! I thought we had an actual fan already knowing who we were!” He teased.
“I am a fan! Next time I will make food for everyone except you! Get KiKwang-oppa back on the phone!” I snapped. But now that I think about it…Yoseob will have…fangirls? I thought. It was weird…girls who don’t even know him, screaming his name! Claiming to be in love! AH! That means that KiKwang-oppa will have fangirls too!! Really, this kid!! 
I heard him laughing as he handed back the phone.
“Ji-na-ah?” KiKwang-oppa’s calm voice came back on the receiver. “We have to get back to practicing. So I guess…I’ll see you later.”
“Ji-nannie, make food for us again!” I heard Yoseob call out over the receiver.
“Yeah.” I said, smiling to myself. “Work real hard! I know you’ll be the best.” I blurted out. I blushed, and my tummy tightened.
He laughed. “Thanks a lot. Come by sometime! I have a friend you’d really like. You would both have a lot in common, I think.”
I grinned. He wanted me to visit! “Sure! I’ll come by sometime!”
“Cool. I’ll talk to you later, alright?”
“Ok. Talk to you later.”
“Bye~” And the tone went dead.
I stayed still for a little. Then I burst. “YES! YES YES YES!!!” I jumped up and down on my bed, elated.
I wasn’t going to let some bunch of fangirls get me down. We were finally making some good progress~ inching closer and closer to our fairytale.
Mid-May came around, and so did “the day”—the day that Yoseob was finally moving out of our little neighborhood, and in with BEAST.
I was walking home from school when I saw it—the beat-up red truck by his house. It wasn’t his…and what is KiKwang-oppa doing here!? I quickly studied myself. Sigh, my school uniform is something to be desired, but at least I did my hair today! I walked forward smiling.
“Ji-na-ah!” KiKwang-oppa called to me, waving, beautiful smile shining. 
They were both in white t-shirts and jeans, slightly sweaty from being in the sun. Yoseob’s shock of blonde hair was hidden partially by his red cap. He looked up from carrying a cardboard box, seeing me come forward. He smiled, his pretty teeth showing brightly.
I grinned, waving back enthusiastically. “Hi there!” I came closer, and then I realized it.
“Yoseob…are you…is it today?” I asked, peering into the truck bed. A neat array of small boxes were packed in the back. Different labels like, “clothes” and “shoes” were drawn in his handwriting.
“Yeah. I told you it was coming!” He said, briefly taking off his cap and mussing his hair. 
“Yeah, but…it’s just…it’s already here!” I looked at his house from the front. It was the same.
But really it wouldn’t be…without Yoseob in it. 
He really was leaving.
I wandered around to the back of his house, where the pond was. The very same spot where he confessed to me. I winced, but brushed it off. That wasn’t the only memory associated with this spot. We would play out here for hours on end during spring and summers from when we were elementary kids… 
“Seobie! Seobie!” I remembered calling out to him, beckoning him to play Beauty and the Beast with me…since it was the only princess game he would play with me…if he would even do that at all.
“Call me Yoseob! I’m your Oppa!” He would reply cheekily. “I’m a big boy!”
His nickname, “Seobie”…I haven’t called him that since middle school. That was when I finally realized that he was my Oppa…even though he didn’t act like it. I wanted to be a mature kid, and I stopped calling him that. But he never stopped calling me “Ji-nannie”… My throat tightened thinking of it. I looked down at my reflection in the water, remembering times when he pushed me in on purpose. I would scream and holler, that little jerk… I thought to myself, smiling slightly. It was tragic then, but a mere laugh now.
“Ahh~! Hey, look look! I still have this.” I turned around to see Yoseob tumbling down the little hill into the backyard, towards me. He held out a picture to me.
It was us on a day just like this, me in a pink tulle dress, him in shorts and a t-shirt, mud all over both of us. He was smiling, his perfect smile present even in his child years. My eyebrows were scrunched in sobs, fairy wand clutched in my hand, my other hand balled in a fist.
“AH! I was just remembering this!” I said. “Your mom thought this was so funny…I didn’t come over here for a long time after that.”
“Yeah, you really knew how to hold a grudge, even being 6!” He laughed, and handed me the picture. “Keep it. I have plenty of copies.” He stuck out his tongue playfully.
I suddenly felt so close to him. This was me and Seobie, from when we were little… Like, this was just…I don’t even know. I wanted to cry, and I felt real stupid. It wasn’t like he was moving to the states, or anything! Jeez, Ji-na! Get a hold of yourself!
“I’m…really going to miss you.” I nodded, walking around the yard.
“Hahaha~ I know, I know. What will you do without me and my spontaneous-ness?” He said lightly.
“I don’t know.” I said honestly. Tears started to fall. Oh, great…here it comes. I looked away, walking in a different direction.
“I was just kidding.” He said, and took off his cap. He came up to me. “Ji-na…I’ll miss you.” 
I didn’t cringe, despite having a feeling inside…knowing what’s coming…I almost…embraced it. I didn’t turn away, feeling disgusted.
I looked him in the eyes, my heart beating. 
He leaned forward, and kissed me on the forehead. I stayed frozen…frozen…what do I do…I finally blinked. And he whipped off his cap, and put it on me. 
“I’m just a few blocks away! Come visit in 3 months.” He laughed, like nothing had happened. “We’re in an intense training mode right now, but I’ll let you know when you can come.”
“Ok.” I nodded, trying to smile. “I’ll just…wait.” I finished lamely.
“Be good! And don’t make too many wedding plans for you and KiKwang.” He warned, only half teasing.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m a free spirit. I can do whatever I want.” But I blushed, knowing the edge that was placed on his comment.
He suddenly hugged me, and my heart beat fast. “Please don’t waste your energy on all that. He’s just...busy.” 
“Wh-what.” I sputtered. Why does this feel like…I don’t even know! Is he telling me that he still likes me? That I shouldn’t like KiKwang-oppa? 
“I gotta go. Next is KiKwang’s place.” He looked around up at the trees and the sky. “Take good care of this place, will ya?” He said, grinning.
I couldn’t help laughing. “I’m sure your parents have that covered.” We walked back to the front where KiKwang-oppa was waiting. He smiled at me, and I remembered that my face was tear-strained. Ah, how embarrassing! I quickly cleaned up my face.
“Bye, Ji-na-ah!” KiKwang-oppa hugged me lightly. I embraced him, but didn’t feel anything. I’m just too emotional right now, I assured myself as they climbed in the truck. The engine started, and without thinking I ran up to the car. “Seobie!” 
Yoseob stared at me.
Then slowly smiled. 
“Seobie! Do you remember? I always used to call you…! Don’t forget!” I didn’t care if KiKwang-oppa was there and that I looked like a stupid blubbering mess. I didn’t care that I liked KiKwang-oppa, or what he thought of me. Today my best friend was leaving, and nothing else mattered. I didn’t want him to forget the little things.
“I remember.” He said, reaching to grab my hand briefly. “Bye, Ji-nannie.” 

AHHHHH! ;___; so sadddd! D: what will happen next?! XD please comment and tell me your thoughts on this story so far~! :D