CHAPTER 12: Meant to be

You guys confused? Or surprised?

Yeah, she is Park Chorong, my girlfriend.

Let me tell you..

Flashback

“No matter how I tried, I think we will never go back to be the same again, Jae..”

Eh? I tilted my head to look at her.

“You and me..” She added.

“W-what do y-you mean?” I was surprised yet confused.

“I’ve been too comfortable with you..” She said.

“Well, what’s the problem?”

“We didn’t share the same blood, Jae..  And you already grown up as a man, so am I, I already grown up as a lady.. We’re not supposed to be as close as before.. We should create some distance.. No.. not distance actually, but barrier..” She explained.

“Barrier? For what?” I couldn’t understand what she said.

“Who knows we will end up having a feeling for each other?”

BAANNGGG!!! I felt like I was shot by a gun. My eyes were popped out, couldn’t believe of what she just said.

Does she know??

When I started to panic, she said another shocking words, “.. when we know we shouldn’t.”

W-what? I didn’t even realize that I voice out my inner thought, “W-we sh-shouldn’t?”

“Of course! I’m still your noona..” She said it while laughing, but it wasn’t funny for me, and this time wasn’t the right time for joking.

“And you’re still my brother, Jae.. My sweet little Pororo..” She said it as she pinched my cheek, but I froze, still digesting what she said.

“Oh, I forget! I shouldn’t do that to you, Jae.. I’m sorry..” She said it, then chuckled, “See? I’ve been too comfortable with you..” She pouted

Her action made me droop. I couldn’t see her eyes anymore, because it hurt.

While looking at the ground, I heard she asked, “You ever asked me to see you as a man, right, Jae?” She paused to take a deep breath and said, “I can’t..”

It hurt so much to hear what she said, but then she continued, “I can’t see you as a man if you’re still living together with me, calling my dad and mom as dad and mom.. It makes me feel that you’re like my brother..”

“So, do you want me to get out from the house?” I couldn’t understand what she said.

“Yeah.. Then I can start to consider your feeling..”

Eh?

“Jaehyung ah... I actually overheard Sungjin and Brian’s conversation in the hospital..” She said softly.

“Con-ver-sa-tion?” I stuttered.

“About your feeling.. for me..”

Oh My God.

“That time I was so confused, everything happened in a flash of light. You were injured because of me, I found out that you’re not my biological brother, and the fact that you.. you know..” She couldn’t finish her words.

“I felt a mixed feeling that I can’t explain.. But I tried to act normal like nothing’s happened.. But looking at you tried so hard to impress me, I think I need to say this to you..” She added with staring to my eyes.

I was ing nervous in this situation.

“You don’t need to impress me, Jae..” She said it while kept staring at me. “It’s because I like someone who’s proud of himself, someone who know what he wants to do in his life, someone who has vision, not someone who’s faking mature..”

I looked deeply into her eyes, couldn’t say anything.

“But, I already fell in to someone who has a warm hug, who wiped my tears and made me laugh, who always have time for me, someone who brave enough to risk his life just to save me, he is my hero..”

“N-noona?” I really couldn’t understand what she said.

“I don’t know whether they’re the same person or not..” She smiled at me.

I was dumbfounded, couldn’t get what she said.

“I know it needs time to change.. But I can wait..” She smiled again.

I looked at her like an idiot.

“Do you understand what I’m talking about, Park Jaehyung?” She asked.

Damn! I really want to blame my stupid brain for not doing its job properly. What does she mean??

 Looked at me dumbfounded, she only chuckled, and asked, “Well, do you want to stay here or go back home?”

“Oh.. mmm.. I have to.. Urghh, I have to take you home..” I was nervous. Really nervous. But I managed to stand up and walked home next to her.

. . . What did happen to me?

-00-

Right after we reached the house and noona went to her room, I sneaked out. I needed a time to be with myself, thinking about what she was said.

So, I chose to sit below the slides at the park and talked to myself.

1st. She said that she already knew my feeling.

2nd. I didn’t need to impress her, because she like someone who unlike me.

3rd. She already likes someone who looks like me.

Crap!

Did she want me to not become her brother?

Then... it means...

She already didn’t see me as his brother, but the fact that I was still living with her disturbed her, and she wanted me to be proud of myself and have vision in my life, living my life without her parents’ support and finally be the man she wanted to fall in love with.

THAT’S IT!

THAT’S WHAT SHE MEANS!!

I was beyond happy to successfully conclude her message, I screamed and cried in joy.

“AAARGGHHH AHAHAHA, NOONAA.. How can you fall in love with me? Is this makes sense? Do I conclude it right?”

I was doubt with my own conclusion, but for this time I just wanted to believe it.

“I need a plan.. Yes, I need a new plan..” I was doing monologue.

After what happened that day, I changed. I started to study harder, I never zoning out in class, and always doing homework on time. Sungjin and Brian were amazed by my changes. They asked me whether it was because of noona, and I said yes. But I didn’t tell them what had happened that day, what noona said to me is a secret between me and her. Noona was also showing support, sometimes she making me a coffee to keep me awake, sometimes she also bought me books that I need. She also bought me a recorder, to record what the teacher said, so when I missed to write down their explanation, I still can replay it after school. That recorder became famous in our class, they liked the idea of using the recorder to study. They said they see me in a new light after that. I can only grin happily. Those hard works was worth, my ranking was jumped into top ten in class. Teachers said that they impressed with me. In the Class 3 I was focused on university entrance exam, I decided to apply for English Literature major in Hankuk University, and I was succeeded. Everything went smoothly after that day, and I felt so blessed.

My next plan was to move out from the house. I already told my parents, that after I graduated from high school I wanted to live by myself. Mom was crying when I told them my decision, but I assured them it wasn’t because I didn’t want to stay in the family, but more because I wanted to try to be independent, and I promised her that I would keep visiting her. Dad was supporting my decision, he told me that he indeed wants to give me my biological father’s legacy after I reach legal age. Then with that money I bought a flat and a car. But not only using my father’s legacy to live, I decided to work part time in Publishing Office. Even though I was still treated as their maknae, but slowly but sure I will have my time to shine.

The only plan that I haven’t achieved yet was one, noona.

I already prepared a nice but simple confession event to noona, but no matter how many times I prepared my heart, I was still nervous. I was scared that noona’s feeling for me has disappeared, or she only said that to make me change, or she deliberately said that to softly rejecting me, or maybe I made the wrong conclusion. I didn’t have clear idea of what she said. It was because these times we both never mentioned what happened that night and the real meaning of what she said was still be a mystery.

Despite those doubt, I braved myself to confess to her. That day I took her to the place where we can see the most beautiful view of Seoul.

“Where’d you want to take me, Jae?” She asked from the passenger seat next to me.

“Just wait patiently, I told you that you’ll like it..” I answered as I stole glance to see her. She was smiling at me.

And after quite times, we arrived on a parking area. We both got out from the car and started to walk up the alley, there she asked again, “Where we going actually? Do you want to kidnap me, Jae?” She still had the same hobby of teasing me.

I only laug