Note

Big Heart

 

So I was going to post this note when I was much closer to finishing Born to Die but life had other plans so I thought I'd do it now. If you read Born to Die, you'll know I was planning on finishing it by February but I don't think I can do that anymore because I just broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years and I haven't felt like doing much of anything. Which brings me to why I'm writing this in the first place. I'll first give you guys a little bit of context so you know why I'm doing what I'm doing. I've had depression for a while now and I finally managed to come out and tell my friends and family. They've all been supportive and want to get me proper help.

The thing is EXO/kpop no longer make me very happy, instead it causes me anxiety sometimes and sadness. There's a lot of things wrong in the industry and the fandom I'm not going to get into that, and I know I shouldn't let that control my moods but I've always been a bit too empathetic and horrible stuff happening in the industry/fandoms really bring me down, as in I sometimes go through a whole day feeling like . You might think it's a but melodramatic, but I'll put it this way, I no longer watch/read the news because I know terrible things are happening around the world and I will literally never be able to get out of bed because I'll be so down about it. It's happened before, I've missed so many days off uni last year because I couldn't get out of bed because of something terrible that happened in the world or kpop or my parents offhandly said something to me and I over thought it.

This is why I'm going to take a break from the fandom and get actual help because I can't keep going on like this. I've spared you a lot of detail for my depression because you don't need to know that. What you do need to know is that after I finish Born to Die, I stop writing fanfiction and I don't know when I'll be back, or if I'll be back at all, depression doesn't get cured over night. I don't like the idea of abandoning my fics so I'll post a spoiler chapter containing all the details of how the story would've progressed. A lot of you will still think of this as abandoning my fics but this is the best I can give you because I really need to do something for my mental health as I have destructive tendencies and they need to be stopped. I won't delete my account so you guys can keep on reading my other stories.

I'm sorry for doing this but I hope you all understand.

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FlowerBaozi
#1
Chapter 7: So cute!!!
Mhtbleach
#2
Chapter 7: OMG your back *hugs*

And Chenchen's Monster pics, damn ❤
joanna20 #3
Chapter 6: Thank God u finally out! Take care ya! I love u. I wish u gt cure & healthy . I will miss u!!!!
xiixao_s__rintintin #4
Chapter 6: I feel with you. Hope the treatment helps with your recovery. Have a lots of strenght dear author!
queenmewh #5
Chapter 6: i'm sad because you're one heck of a good writer but i completely understand. this fandom is not all rainbows and people can be so cruel. i'm sorry for your girlfriend too. go get the help that you think you need. if ever you come back, i'll probably be here, waiting for your stories. if not, then i'm sincerely hoping for the best for you. there's no need to apologize, dear. you owe us nothing. we'll be fine and i hope you will be too in the future :) Good luck and thank you for your stories! :)
missfluffysoo
#6
Chapter 6: Although I'm sad to see you leaving your stories, I also know how it feels to be depressed (not as much as you do though) I hope you'll get better and its easier to say than to do but I know you can do it. Maybe that girl really wasn't the one for you, One day you can be happy with someone <3

fighting!
missfluffysoo
#7
*screams like a squirrel*

MOAAAAAAAR *BITES UR CHEEK*
gmont18
#8
Chapter 5: These chapters are short but good I like it besides Chenlay shippers can't be picky we don't get many fics anyway. But yours is cute love the kids and the brothers!
chenniechen #9
Chapter 5: Lmao junmyeon pls