You realize you are surprisingly calm despite his presence. Despite my dream, you think and you blush.

"Aren't they amazing!" Your boyfriend asks you, distracting you from the guilt that started swelling up again.

"Of course!!" You smile. Jimin, who had been sitting next to you suddenly gets up and simply says “bathroom.”

You ask, still not looking at Jungkook, but addressing him, "Is Jimin okay?" You couldn't help but notice how down he looked. Jungkook hesitates but answers eitherway

"He..had a rough day. Reprimanded by our manager." He finishes in a low voice, almost a whisper. You don't say anything, but you nod and look down. Your boyfriend squeezes your hand and you look up at him he smiles at you and you feel Jungkook looking at both of you. Awkward you think.

The food everyone ordered is coming your way, Jungkook being the youngest starts to place the meats on the grill.

“I’ve been craving this for a while now. Barbeque” Says Jimin as he rubs his stomach. You’re startled to find he has come back from his bathroom break and sat back down next to you. You smile a small smile, remembering what Jungkook had said.

This wasn’t the first time being with all the guys, you had met with them already and hung out with them over the course of two months. Yet most of them seemed distant from you lately. Am I the problem? You look around you, Hoseok, Taehyung, Yoongi, Seokjin and Namjoon were keeping to themselves, laughing at their own jokes and they seemed to be so far away from  you. It’s as if they were one group of strangers and Jimin, Jungkook, your boyfriend and you were another group of strangers, all sitting at one table.

Your thoughts are no longer on Jungkook, they’re on everyone.

“I’ll be back.” Your boyfriend says as he kisses your forehead and gets up. You catch Jimin eyeing him.

, you think.

“You’ve been so quiet… What are you thinking about?” Jungkook turns to his left as he asks you, looking at you hard. You slowly turn to face him, an empty space still between you and him where your boyfriend was sitting. 

“I know this isn’t about shyness.” He adds

“What? Now you know how to read people? What else can the talented maknae do?” You ask almost playfully.

He smirks. And you feel everyone at the table stop to look.

“Well, finally she talks. You know-” Taehyung speaks up as he picks up some bbulgogi from the grill and eats it “-things don’t have to be so awkward. We do like you, a lot. And we’ve all known each other for a while now.”  Seokjin nods, his cheeks full of whatever he’s eating. You laugh as you watch Seokjin, the tension wearing off.

You look at every single one of them, and realize for the millionth time how amazing it is to know them.

“You’re right…I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I’m making things awkward. I-“

“It’s not you.” Jimin cuts you off.

“He’s right, you know?” Jungkook adds, but with a serious look on his face. He says something under his breath, but you aren’t able to hear what it is for you are distracted by Hoseok calling you from across the table. You turn and he’s making one of his silly faces, soon Taehyung joins with the face making and you laugh. Everyone else smiles. This isn’t so bad.

“You deserve to be happy.” Jungkook says as he looks at you almost saying sorry with his eyes. You shoot a confused look back at him and answer “I am!” out of reflex. You see that your boyfriend is making his way back to the table. Suddenly the atmosphere changes again. Hoseok, Seokjin, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Taehyung are back to keeping to themselves.

• • •

Soon enough day turns to night and everyone is being dropped off at the dorms.

“Jungkook,” your boyfriend says out of the drivers side of the window as both of you were watching the guys head into the building, “Can I talk to you for a sec?” Jungkook nods.

“Stay here, k?” Your boyfriend tells you and you nod. He steps out of the car and makes his way towards Jungkook, Jungkook seems to not want to stick around for whatever talk they’re about to have.

You watch them, not being able to hear them because the windows of the truck are all up.

You watch Jungkook more than your boyfriend and you see him mouth “ you” You try to focus all your senses now on what they’re saying, but to no avail. You see Jungkook go on an angry rant as he points in your direction.

What the hell?

Suddenly your boyfriend storms his way back to the truck. You’re too afraid to ask anything.

Both of you get to your loft, your cat immediately hissing as your boyfriend steps through the door. You immediately go upstairs to your bedroom, change into your night clothes and lay on your side of the bed.

Your boyfriend suddenly speaks up.

“Earlier, I got called in for something at work. I..I gotta go now, I’ll be back late. Don’t stay up.”

You nod and say “be careful”

You hear the front door close loudly and you’re alone. You immerse yourself in your thoughts and you go back to earlier that day when Jungkook told you that you deserve to be happy.

What is there to be unhappy about? Everything is going great. I’m happy..

I’m happy…

You’re starting to drift off into sleep…

..right?

No… says the familiar voice from your dream last night.