A/N: The title is from the lyrics of Fine. The quote at the beginning is from this Soompi article. It hurt me to read how much Taeyeon went through to produce this album; I just want her to have all the health and happiness in the world.

I wanted to post this for Taeyeon's birthday, but I didn't get a chance to so here I am a day late. Well, better late than never?

“While recording ‘Fine,’ I went to get an IV. Rather than being sick, I felt I needed to recharge.

“I think it was a reflection of the pressure [we were] feeling. I forced my driver and songwriter to take an hour break, and I resumed recording after recharging.”

Text from Jessica:
how are you feeling?
and if you say “fine” i’ll kill you with my bare hands

Text from Taeyeon:
wow such violence

Text from Jessica:
kim taeyeon
answer the question

Text from Taeyeon:
i’m ok
wait am i allowed to say that or are all song titles off limits

Text from Jessica:
…only you would ask that i swear

Text from Taeyeon:
but really i am
making this album was a lot of work but it was worth it
i’m really happy with it

Text from Jessica:
you should be
it’s an amazing album tae
i love your voice

Text from Taeyeon:
my voice or My Voice??

Text from Jessica:
............
i seriously can’t with you sometimes

Text from Taeyeon:
and other times?
it means a lot to me that you like it
really, a lot

Text from Jessica:
ofc, my opinion is paramount
other times, you’re not terrible i guess

Text from Taeyeon:
don’t cover up your heart, sica~

Text from Jessica:
i’m cancelling you

Text from Taeyeon:
:(
guess i’ll have a lonely night

Text from Jessica:
you’ll have many more if you don’t stop asap

Text from Taeyeon:
well it’s not like i get to spend nights with you anyway

Text from Jessica:
taeyeon

Text from Taeyeon:
nvm forget i said that

Text from Jessica:
taeyeon

Text from Taeyeon:
jessica

Text from Jessica:
i miss you too
i don’t like that it has to be this way but it has to be
you know that

Text from Taeyeon:
i do
but it doesn’t make it any easier

Text from Jessica:
i know

Text from Taeyeon:
but i don’t regret it

Text from Jessica:
neither do i
no matter what regrets i have, you would never be one of them

Text from Taeyeon:
jessica
i have to go - rehearsal

Text from Jessica:
okay. good luck for music bank!
i know you’ll be 🔥
(that wasn’t a pun)

Text from Taeyeon:
i’ll take it as one ;)

Text from Jessica:
#cancelled

Text from Taeyeon:
i love you too 😘

Text from Jessica:
❤️️

Taeyeon returns to the dressing room, taking the clip out of her hair and running a hand through it. Her hair had been pinned so tightly that she can still feel the pressure against her skull. Or maybe that’s just her headache.

Years of surviving on little to no sleep and she still feels tired. Weak. Lonely. It’s the last one that cuts through her the most.

This is far from her first time promoting on her own so she doesn’t know why she’s still so surprised by it. By how big the stage is when she’s on there by herself instead of with eig—seven others. By how empty the dressing room is even when it’s filled with makeup artists and hairstylists. By how hollow she feels even after being laden with records, congratulations and flowers.

She wishes they were here. Her members, her girls, her biggest fans and staunchest supporters. She’s amazed when she remembers how she wanted to be a soloist once upon a time; she can barely last one promotion cycle on her own.

However, she’s not alone when she returns backstage, because there’s a slim, brunette figure that makes her rub her eyes in disbelief. However, the sight of her doesn’t change, only that her face splits into a smile when she sees Taeyeon.

“Taeyeon.”

It’s so different to hear her say it, as opposed to merely seeing her name on a screen. It’s not that Taeyeon’s forgotten the sound of her voice – how could she – but even her clearest, mostly closely guarded memories can’t compare to this. To reality.

“Jessica?”

As an answer, Jessica strides toward her – she doesn’t run, that’s not Jessica – and pulls her into her arms. Taeyeon releases the breath she didn’t realize she was holding, tucks her face against Jessica’s shoulder and keeps it there. She’s wearing heels and Jessica flats, so they’re the same height; evenly matched for once. Jessica smells like crisp winter air and the perfume Taeyeon got her for Christmas. Taeyeon breathes her in, heady and greedy.

“You’ve lost weight,” Jessica says critically, pulling back slightly.

Taeyeon shrugs. “I always do during a comeback.”

It’s not even on purpose, either. Not even a promotion requirement the way it used to be, part of the routine: dye hair, lose weight, forego sleep. Smile. Wave. And maybe, if you’re lucky, after all of that – sing.

“Not an excuse,” Jessica tells her, encircling her fingers around Taeyeon’s wrist. They easily wrap all the way around. “We’re going out for dinner tonight.”

It’s not a request. Taeyeon grins. “You’re going to pay, right?”

Jessica looks ready to fire off a retort, but then her expression softens. She reaches forward and plucks a piece of confetti from Taeyeon’s hair. “Well, I guess you deserve a treat after your all-kill.”

“What kind of treat?” Taeyeon asks, and Jessica rolls her eyes and flicks her on the forehead.

“Don’t make me change my mind about cancelling you.”

Taeyeon rubs her forehead with a pout. “What happened to loving my voice?”

“I still do,” Jessica says, somehow playful and sincere all at once. “I’ll always love your voice. And the opposite for your puns.”

Taeyeon juts out her bottom lip some more, and Jessica gives a soft, indulgent smile, one that few people are on the receiving end of.

“I love your voice too,” Taeyeon says. “Speaking of that, you never autographed my Wonderland album. I’m such a big Golden Star too. Your rejection really hurt me.”

“My sincerest apologies,” Jessica deadpans. “How on earth can I ever make it up to you?”

“Well, we can start off with dinner…” Taeyeon says, “and then maybe something special for dessert.”

“I’m not convinced you deserve dessert,” Jessica says, and when Taeyeon pouts again she laughs and presses her smile against Taeyeon’s mouth, so she can taste it too, the sweetest of appetizers.