Wendy wakes up to a thud near the window.

 

This is followed closely by groan of pain and a muffled curse that echoes through the silent room. Wendy smiles at the noise, conscious enough to know who just scrambled through the window without having to go through the motions of being falsely alarmed at a possible intruder.

 

Seulgi always did have a knack for sneaking in and out.

 

"Fun night?"

 

It's dark enough for Wendy to just barely make out Seulgi's figure lying on the floor and through the light of the moon, Wendy can see her teeth shine as she grins lopsidedly.

 

"Great night."

 

Wendy rolls her eyes, holding her hand out for Seulgi to take.

 

"Do you know what time it is?" She asks as she helps Seulgi off the floor.

 

Seulgi grunts as she’s lifted up.

 

"Uh, midnight?"

 

Seulgi sways, not nearly as sober as Wendy thought she was, and Wendy has a brief moment of concern where she wonders just how in the world Seulgi managed to climb up to their second story window when she can't even stand straight on solid ground.

 

She's done more impressive things, Wendy supposes.

 

"2am actually."

 

Seulgi snorts. "Close enough."

 

"We have class at 8am tomorrow," Wendy reminds her, watching as Seulgi kicks off her shoes and sheds her jacket. Her hand reaches out to help her in case she falls, but Seulgi manages on her own. She usually does.

 

"You'll let me see your notes, won't you Seungwannie?" Seulgi smiles, crawling into Wendy's bed instead of her own. Her feet are cold, her hands clammy and she smells like every kind of alcohol imaginable, but Wendy doesn't tell her to move, just leans back into the cool embrace as Seulgi snuggles into her like her own personal pillow.

 

"Fine, but this is the last time," She mumbles, but she knows that isn't true.

 

Seulgi will do this again and Wendy will let her and when it's the morning, she'll get up and go to class for the both of them because Seulgi is Seulgi and Wendy is Wendy and they shouldn't fit together but they do.

 

They really do.

 

"Thanks," Seulgi murmurs, breath warm against the back of Wendy's neck. "You're the best."

 

Wendy sighs, rubs her hand along Seulgi's arm until Seulgi's breathing evens, and whispers, "Just for you."

 

Always for you.

 

--

 

Sleep clings to Wendy more than usual that morning, her eyes heavy and body slow.

 

She'd gone to sleep early the night before too, but after Seulgi came back, it had taken her hours before she could fall asleep again. (She's never told Seulgi, but sometimes she stays awake after Seulgi comes in, just to make sure she won't leave again. She never does.)

 

Wendy yawns into the back of her hand, rubbing tiredly at her eyes. She's normally a morning person, but the idea of sleep is an enticing one at the moment.

 

"Tired?"

 

A coffee cup is placed on her desk, the smell of hazelnut wafting to her nose, and Wendy has to stop herself from jumping at it.

 

"Thanks." Wendy smiles graciously up at Joohyun who takes the seat next to her, a similar cup of coffee in her own hands. "You're a lifesaver."

 

Joohyun grins at her words, angling her head around to look at the empty seat on the other side of Wendy. "Good thing I didn't get one for Seulgi. Sleeping in again?"

 

Wendy nods, welcoming the warmth that floods through her as the coffee slides down . "She had a late night."

 

"She always does," Joohyun says, staring at Wendy pointedly and Wendy wants to ask what she's implying, but the professor comes in before she can.

 

She finishes the rest of the coffee, ignores the burning sting it leaves, and tries in vain to forget the empty seat next to her.

 

Her notes are more detailed than usual that day.

 

---

 

Seulgi's still asleep when Wendy gets back.

 

It's past noon, but the curtains are drawn, blanketing the room in dim sunlight. Seulgi's still on her bed, and Wendy nudges her to the side, sitting down next to her as she pulls out her laptop.

 

"How was class?" Seulgi asks, rolling over so that her forehead is pressed to Wendy's hip. Wendy shifts closer.

 

"Boring. I took notes for you," She answers, pulling out her notebook for Seulgi (Wendy normally uses her laptop for her notes, but Seulgi studies better with paper so Wendy always goes out of her way to copy everything down in handwriting) and tossing it onto Seulgi's side. Seulgi doesn't move.

 

"Thanks. Lunch is on me."

 

"I had lunch with Joohyun unnie."

 

"Dinner then."

 

Wendy glances down at the girl next to her. Her eyes are closed and if Wendy didn't know better she'd think she was sleeping. She looks peaceful, and Wendy stares just because she can.

 

"What if I had plans?"

 

"Too bad."

 

Wendy rolls her eyes, focusing back on her laptop. "Fine. I want kimchi from that one place in Hongdae."

 

Seulgi presses deeper into her side, fingers curling around the edge of Wendy's shirt as she throws her leg over Wendy's. It's not the most comfortable position to be studying in, but Wendy doesn't mind.

 

She never does.

 

"Okay," Seulgi mumbles, already on the verge of sleep again, "anything for you.”

 

Wendy smiles, putting on a soft acoustic album she knows is Seulgi’s favorite (the girl might love Beyoncé with all her heart but she’ll always be weak for the simplicity of a lone guitar) as the girl drifts back to sleep.

 

Eventually, Wendy shuts her eyes as well, falling asleep next to her. They miss dinner completely, waking up at a time that’s too late for anything to be open but too early for them to call it a night. They settle for eating instant ramen on the floor of their dorm room, and Seulgi tells her that’s it’s definitely better than any kind of food Wendy wanted. It isn’t, but Wendy agrees anyways because she’s with Seulgi and that’s all that matters.

 

Seulgi’s all that matters.

 

--

 

Wendy wakes up to pressure on her stomach.

 

She opens her eyes to Seulgi hovering over her and thinks, briefly, that she’s still dreaming, but then Seulgi pokes her cheek once, twice, three times, until Wendy has to swat her hand away to make her stop.

 

“What is it?” she groans, sitting up to rub at her eyes. Her phone tells her it’s a little past midnight and Wendy’s struck with the urge to strangle Seulgi for waking her up.

 

Seulgi sits back so she’s in Wendy’s lap, legs on either side of Wendy. She grins childishly.

 

“Ice cream.”

 

Wendy blinks at her. “What?”

 

Seulgi’s smile widens as she repeats, “Ice cream.”

 

Wendy frowns, too tired to fully make sense of whatever it is Seulgi’s trying to tell her. She wants a direct answer for once and even though she knows that’s not something Seulgi’s ever been good at, she’s too sleepy to care about pleasantries.

 

 

“What about it?”

 

Seulgi lifts a finger to Wendy’s forehead, pressing against it gently. “I want some.”

 

Wendy sighs. “Then go get some?”

 

Seulgi shakes her head, tugging softly at a strand of Wendy’s hair. “Come with me.”

 

“It’s midnight,” Wendy tells her, not that it matters. Seulgi runs on her own schedule and something as silly as time has never stopped her before. “I was sleeping.”

 

“Not anymore.”

 

Wendy opens to tell her that that’s her fault, but decides against it. It’s easier to just go along with Seulgi than it is to fight her and Wendy gave up on fighting her a long time ago.

 

“Fine,” she says, leaning back against her hands, “but you’re paying.”

 

Seulgi beams in victory, pulling Wendy towards her by her collar, and Wendy feels even smaller like this, trapped between Seulgi like a cage. It’s not a bad feeling and Wendy revels in it a bit longer, hands resting on the skin of Seulgi’s thighs.

 

They walk to the convenience store down the street, buying a tub of chocolate ice cream and all these other snacks Seulgi saw and wouldn’t leave without. Wendy ends up paying for all of it, and Seulgi thanks her with hands against her cheeks and a smile that makes Wendy’s whole body warm.

 

They eat on the floor of their dorm room, stuffing their faces with junk food until Wendy feels like she’s going to explode from excess sugar. It hits her around 3am that she has class early in the morning, but Seulgi just laughs, feeding her another spoonful of ice cream as she says nonchalantly, “Skip it.”

 

She could, but the perfectionist in her doesn’t want to. Wendy vouches to go regardless of how much sleep she gets (if she gets any at all), but when morning rolls around and she’s still on the floor, Seulgi pressed to her side with a blanket thrown haphazardly over them, Wendy can’t bring herself to get up no matter how hard she tries.

 

She doesn’t go to class.

 

--

 

The alcohol burns and by the time Wendy’s finished her drink, she already feels lightheaded.

 

She’d told Sooyoung to make it weak, but knowing the other girl, her definition of weak was probably much different than Wendy’s.

 

Wendy sighs, treading into the kitchen in search of water. Sooyoung’s there, leaning against the sink as she waits for the popcorn to finish. Joohyun and Seulgi are in the other room and from here, Wendy can still hear them laughing.

 

“Do you have water?” Wendy asks, ignoring the dull throb in her temple.

 

Sooyoung nods towards the fridge. “There should be some bottles in there.”

 

The water is soothing, cool against her dry throat. The lightheadedness disappears the more she drinks, but when she leans back against the fridge and meets Sooyoung’s eyes from over the bottle, she almost misses the lack of clarity.

 

“What?”

 

Sooyoung tilts her head. “It doesn’t bother you?”

 

Wendy knits her brows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

Sooyoung nods towards the room Joohyun and Seulgi are in, and when Wendy peers inside, she can see Joohyun sitting in Seulgi’s lap, laughing and hitting her feebly as Seulgi tickles her.

 

Wendy turns back to Sooyoung and shrugs. “Not really.”

 

Sooyoung raises a brow. “Seriously?”

 

“Is it supposed to?”

 

Sooyoung opens as if to say something but closes it quickly. She shrugs decidedly. “I guess not.”

 

The popcorn finishes and Wendy helps Sooyoung bring it to the other room. Seulgi and Joohyun are still laughing amongst themselves, only quieting when they catch sight of them. Seulgi moves so that Wendy can sit next to her and when the movie starts, she spends the majority of it playing with Wendy’s fingers or Wendy’s hair.

 

Wendy doesn’t remember much of what happened during the movie, hardly even remembers what happened after the movie (Sooyoung gave her another drink or two, or three, or four), but she does remember Seulgi laughing at her drunken slurs as they walked back to their dorm, remembers telling Seulgi she’s really pretty (though Joohyun’s slightly prettier, if she’s being honest, but that’s okay because Seulgi has eyes), remembers nudging Seulgi with her finger as she told her she didn’t mind that Seulgi always left because she always came back and Wendy could wait and wait and wait-

 

Seulgi had kissed her then, pressed her back against the door of their room as she whispered over and over that she wasn’t leaving and Wendy didn’t have to wait.

 

Somewhere between the sixth and seventh kiss, Wendy had finally believed her.

 

--

 

Wendy used to think she had Seulgi figured out.

 

She went out all the time because she was lonely. She was always happy because she was actually sad. She kissed Wendy because Wendy didn’t matter.

 

But Wendy matters.

 

She matters and Seulgi isn’t sad, nor is she lonely.

 

She goes out because she can, is happy because she is, and kisses Wendy because she says Wendy is someone who deserves to be kissed and she wants to be the one to give her what she deserves.

 

Wendy doesn’t know what that means, doesn’t know what anything means really, but she likes Seulgi and she thinks Seulgi likes her too so she doesn’t complain.

 

Wendy doesn’t have Seulgi figured out.

 

She’s okay with that.

 

--

 

Wendy joins the next time Seulgi goes out.

 

It's a Thursday and she has class tomorrow, but it isn't until the afternoon and Seulgi had asked her with arms around her waist and her chin on Wendy's shoulder and Wendy found she couldn't say no even though she wanted to.

 

Twenty minutes later, and Wendy already regrets that decision.

 

It’s too loud and too crowded and it smells too much like Jackson Wang’s dorm room for Wendy to even think about having fun. Not to mention she’s already lost sight of Seulgi, the only reason she’s there in the first place.

 

At least Joohyun is there.

 

"I hate parties."

 

Joohyun frowns at the drink in her hand before setting it down on a random table and walking away. Wendy follows her, keen on sticking to the only other sober person there.

 

"Why are you here then?" Wendy asks as they settle on an empty couch. In front of them, people are playing a drinking game and Wendy watches with disinterest as a guy bounces a ping pong ball across the table and into a cup filled with beer. He cheers, drink sloshing around in his hand and spilling onto the floor. No one notices, and Wendy looks away to see Joohyun eyeing them in disgust.

 

"Seulgi told Sooyoung about tonight, and Sooyoung wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to come along." Joohyun sighs, tipping her head back to rest against the couch. "I could have been at home."

 

Wendy pats her knee sympathetically. "Give it another half hour or so and then Sooyoung will be too drunk to notice you're gone."

 

Joohyun smiles. "That's the plan." She tilts her head, regarding Wendy curiously before nodding back towards the party. "Where's Seulgi? Didn't you two come together?"

 

They did, but less than a minute there and Wendy had lost her, Seulgi melting into the crowd of people before Wendy could so much as blink. They’d been holding hands at the time, and Wendy only wonders now how Seulgi had slipped away from her so easily, how Seulgi always slips away from her so easily.

 

She doesn’t dwell on it.

 

"Yeah, we did," Wendy says, rubbing at her thigh, "but you know her."

 

Joohyun smiles in understanding. "Yeah, I do."

 

Joohyun leaves minutes later, an already drunk Sooyoung hanging on her arm. She sends Wendy an apologetic smile and tells her to call if she needs anything. Wendy doesn’t even get to answer, Sooyoung wrapping her into an uncomfortable hug as she whispers loudly that Wendy’s truly a miracle worker for being able  to "tame Seulgi." Wendy almost asks what she means, but thinks better of it, letting Joohyun take her away with a laugh and a wave.

 

After another half hour, Wendy’s had enough of watching guys throw ping pong balls into plastic cups. She leaves the sanctuary of the couch, roaming into the center of the party in search of Seulgi, but there’s too many people and her small size doesn’t help, so when she gets bumped into from behind, Wendy’s not at all surprised at how easily she gets thrown into the body in front of her. She's got an apology at the tip of her tongue, but a voice in her ear stops her.

 

"Easy there." Wendy looks up to Seulgi’s smile, annoyed at how she’s looking at her like she didn't just abandon Wendy at a random party for the last hour. "I didn't think you were drinking tonight."

 

Wendy huffs, stepping back to regard Seulgi cooly, but it's too crowded and she only gets half a step away before she feels someone brushing back against her. Seulgi pulls her back in and this time Wendy doesn't mind (not that she really did to begin with).

 

"I'm not," Wendy says, but then someone turns the music louder and everything gets drowned out. Seulgi tilts her head nearer to hers and Wendy’s hit with the smell of both alcohol and citrus (the memory of Seulgi playfully spraying her with her perfume just before they left, making her head spin). She shakes her head, turns toward Seulgi, and tries not to think about Seulgi’s breath against the shell of her ear.

 

"What was that?" Seulgi yells, but it still just sounds like a whisper in all the noise. Maybe it was.

 

Wendy grips Seulgi's arm to keep her anchored to the ground and she wonders why she feels like the one who's drunk when she hasn't even had anything.

 

"Let's go," Wendy tells her and Seulgi pulls back enough to nod.

 

She doesn't question why Wendy wants to leave, doesn't ask to stay longer, doesn't even linger to say goodbye to anyone else. Seulgi just grabs her hand, guiding her through the house and out the door until they're walking along the street back to their dorm. Wendy thinks she can finally breathe normally again now that she’s in clean air, but Seulgi still hasn't let go of her hand and Wendy doesn’t want her to either and any attempt at controlling her breathing is thrown out the window.

 

"That party was kind of lame, huh?" Seulgi says eventually, glancing at Wendy from her peripheral. Wendy's about to answer that no, the party wasn't lame, sitting around without her was, but then Seulgi stumbles on nothing, Wendy's hand the only thing keeping her from toppling over. She laughs, beaming at Wendy amusedly. "I guess I'm still a little drunk."

 

Wendy shakes her head, throwing Seulgi's arm around her shoulder because the sudden revelation has somehow worsened her motor skills.

 

"It's alright, I won't let you fall."

 

Wendy feels Seulgi smile into the crook of her neck, skin warming where Seulgi's breath hits her.

 

"Too late," Seulgi says and Wendy almost chalks it off as just drunken nonsense, but Seulgi doesn't sound like she's anything other than serious and Wendy doesn't want her to be anything less either. "I already fell for you, remember?"

 

Seulgi giggles then and Wendy allows herself a smile that Seulgi can't see.

 

"Yeah," she says, tightening her hold on Seulgi's waist as they continue walking, "I remember."

 

Later, when they’re on Wendy’s bed, Wendy’s ear to Seulgi’s heart, she remembers Sooyoung’s words.

 

Wendy doesn’t think it’s true, she didn’t tame Seulgi—no one can tame Seulgi—but when Seulgi rolls them over, teeth scraping against Wendy’s ear as she murmurs, “let’s just stay in next weekend,” Wendy thinks that Sooyoung got it wrong.

 

She didn’t tame Seulgi, Seulgi tamed herself.

 

She tamed herself because even though Wendy didn’t mind all the running Seulgi did, she could never keep up, and Seulgi didn’t want to make her sprint.

 

She’s slowed herself down to a walk, moving at a pace that Wendy can follow, and Wendy likes it just the same.

 

Seulgi does too.

 

--

 

Wendy wakes up to a thud near the window.

 

She hears footsteps padding lightly against the carpet and isn’t at all surprised by the body that slides into the space behind her.

 

“Where’d you go?”

 

Wendy hisses at the cold of Seulgi’s fingers, grasping them in her hands immediately to warm them.

 

Seulgi sighs contentedly. “Nowhere.”

 

“What-”

 

Seulgi silences her with lips against her neck.

 

“Don’t worry,” she mutters, moving to Wendy’s shoulder. Her fingers are warm now, but Wendy stills gets goosebumps when they trail along her arm. “I didn’t leave.”

 

She didn’t, but Wendy knows that even if she had, she’d always come back, because Seulgi is Seulgi and Wendy is Wendy and they shouldn’t fit together, but they do.

 

They really do.

 

“Okay,” Wendy says and closes her eyes to Seulgi’s breath against her ear.

 

“Wake me up for class tomorrow?” Seulgi asks and Wendy smiles.

 

“Sure.” Wendy turns so that they’re facing each other, burying her head in Seulgi’s neck. She smells like citrus and Wendy hugs her closer. “Just for you.”

 

Always for you.