“What are you doing? Come on!” I whipped my head around. There, standing in the doorway, was a tiny version of the rabbit guy from earlier. His white, fluffy ears were twitching in excitement. Asdfghjksocute

“The Queen said you were slow, but we haven’t the time for that now! Come on,” he said again before sprinting off. For a rabbit, he didn’t so much hop as gallop. I’d think it was cute if I wasn’t so irritated. On the bright side, now I could fit through the f@#&ing door. I chased after him, realizing that I still didn’t know what was on the other side of that door. I fell through it, blinded by brightness around me as I felt my entire body pop, like cracking your knuckles. For a few seconds it felt like I was floating in this light, before I hit the ground again, this time on my feet.

I was on a beach, but the door had vanished, and I was standing alone on a stretch of grey sand. I was also no longer tiny, unless this entire beach was miniature. Really? I was tiny for like, five minutes? That was so pointless. I kinda wished I’d gotten a picture though, I bet I was adorable pocket-sized.

I wasn’t as frightened and confused as I thought I ought to be, I’d just kind of accepted this reality, and I wondered why I felt so chill about it? It just seemed like an effect of this place. On my left there were waves of a deep navy blue, almost black. On my right was a shady forest, the trees so thick I couldn’t see more than five feet deep. A crowded, dark forest was never a good place to be in fairytales, so I headed for the ocean, intending to wait for someone to come along. Then I’d just bust out my Ninja Assassin skills until someone explained things to me.

And sadly enough, who sticks their head out of the trees but the bunny? Really, weren’t rabbits’ feet supposed to be lucky? However, before I can go all Bi/Rain on his , he starts yelling back into the trees; “GUYS! GUYS I FOUND HIM, HE’S OVER HERE! GUYS, I FOUND TAEMIN! GUYS? GUUUUUUYYYYYYYYYS!” I was wishing he’d just shut up when it occurred to me that maybe it was a bad thing I’d been found. Maybe his “guys” weren’t as harmless-looking as the bunny. Maybe I should run.

I was just thinking about it when like forty guys came pouring out of the trees. Jesus God. Ok, not forty, more like seven, and they didn’t pour as much as walk, but still. Scary .

Some guy with fluffy caramel hair and a beautiful smile trotted up, taking my hand. “Taemin-sshi, it’s wonderful to meet you. I’m Onew!” The boy gave me a grin like the sun coming out, and I felt my lips curve up involuntarily. All of the men assembled in front of me, in a line like soldiers, rather than surrounding me in a circle. It made me feel somewhat more at ease.

“Can I introduce you?” asked Onew. I nodded because, really, what were my other options? Tell him “Absolutely not, I want to go through life addressing everyone as ‘hey you’”? Eff my life.

“This,” he said, pointing at the rabbit boy who started this whole flipping extravaganza, “is Sungmin. He’s one of the Queen’s messengers. He’s always late though, so he’s kind of in trouble now.”

“Not my fault!” Sungmin scoffed. “I have a lot to do, you know. I like to fit as many things as possible into my day, and I can’t help it if no one else accommodates my busy schedule.”

“And this,” Onew continued without acknowledging Sungmin’s pointless rant, “is Siwon. He’s the White Knight, best of the best. Gets really handsy though, so watch out.” A very tall man with snow-white armor and the deepest dimples I’ve ever seen stepped forward, bowing politely before shaking my hand.

“Pleasure to meet you. I’m sworn to protect you, Taemin-ah, so don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll get along fine. We’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other on the trip.” Once again, the dimples. He also flailed his hands around a lot. It was a bit frightening.

Onew pointed to two boys standing hand in hand. Although they were dressed alike in matching baggy red hoodies and baggy jeans, (jeans? Here?) they looked completely different.

One boy had dark-chocolate hair that frayed in wisps around his face and a guileless grin that took up half his face while the other had a thick, heavy curtain of blond hair that covered his eyes and gave him an almost sinister serious look at odds with his goofy, gummy smile.

However different they looked, one got that sense you sometimes get with twins, or siblings who are very close, or sometimes in a blue moon, a romantic couple, the kind people say are “like they were made for each other”.

The sense that these people are connected almost by soul, some indomitable, indefinable, imprecise something that means these two people match up on a deeper level than any molecule that exists.

“That’s EunHae.” Stated Onew. “That is to say, the brunette is Donghae and the blond is Eunhyuk. We don’t really bother distinguishing anymore, they both come over no matter who you call, so Eunhyuk just shortened it to ‘EunHae’, makes it easier for everyone.” He explained while scratching the bottom of his foot. Unfortunately, he promptly lost balance and fell over.

“Ok, that last one over there is Minho,” he said, not bothering to rise from his position on the sand where I was fussing, trying to help him up, “and he’ll be your personal protection, no matter what Siwon tells you. He’s the strongest person on this team, and the Queen assigned him personally. I like my head, and I’ll get to keep it as long as you just do what we tell you, arasso, Minnie-ah?” asked Onew, giving me an instantly-disarming eye-smile.

“Keep your head?” I questioned.

“You have a very nice head.” Onew nodded inexplicably. “Very nice. Well, shall we go then?”

Finally pulling himself off the ground, he reached for my hand to steady himself, almost pulling me back down. After I was balanced again, I looked at the men in front of me and got my first really good look at yGreekgod Minho.

As tall as Siwon, he had shoulder-length coffee-colored hair, shoulders as broad as a goddamn barn, legs that took up sixty-five percent of his body and dark eyes that did bad, bad, awful things to every part of my body. His lips, which had been in a semi-serious pout, curved into an insanelyattractive damned irritating smirk that had me scowling just to look at it.

Wearing old khaki shorts and a sleeveless white ‘beater under an ped sleeveless grey jacket, you could see every damned muscle on his body. Does he play soccer or something?

Aside from sounding like one of those trashy romance novels that were really nothing more than “classy ”, my description of him was lacking one thing and that was the bling. He had a thick black metal choker around his neck, almost looked like it was made of iron or something,  no decoration to it and a matching bracelet with a coat-of-arms stamped on it in a liquid, glowing red that shimmered even when he wasn’t moving, like it was burning below the surface.

Pretty, isn’t it, Minnie?

I shook my head like I was trying to get water out of my ears, trying to get Key out of my head. I heard his voice even here. Was this a dream too? Did I even wake up this morning?

A scary thought hit me. Would I wake up? Was I dead? Lots of old civilizations believed that when you die, you go on a journey through the Underworld. Was that was this was? Or maybe I was like Dante, and these were Shades, giving me some kind of a tour?

Even if this was real, and not the afterlife, what if I died anyway? But looking at these men lined up in front of me, I couldn’t find a single malicious face. Some of them seemed balls-out weird, but not scary.

“So….” I began, toeing awkwardly at the ground, “where is this little boy band headed?”

Onew looked surprised, but a smile slowly sunk onto his face.

“Taemin-ah, you didn’t know? I’m sorry. We’re taking you to see the Queen of Hearts. By way of visiting a few friends, of course.”

I am so confuzzled. “But why do I need to see the Queen?”

Onew looked more troubled this time. Siwon stepped forward, a nervous expression on his face. “You didn’t get your notice? You’re to be tried at court.” He explained gently.

“But WHY? What did I do? What exactly am I being tried for?” I whined, frustrated.

Siwon’s already giant eyes got bigger, sharpened, focused. When he spoke, his voice was solid, final.

“You’re to be tried for attempting to kill the Queen.”