I held the steering wheel in my hands with what littel strength I had left. I was still in college and dealt with my fair share of exausting days but I was already looking forward on how to make this situation work because I honestly wasn't so sure if this was such a good idea after all. 

"So how was both of you guy's first day?" I adjusted my rear-mirror looking at Kae-Sun in the back seat. I noticed I coudln't even see Chae-Sun's head and remembered that legally they were supposed ot be in booster chairs...seats or something. Maybe I'll just give them a pile of clothes for them for them to sit so we can atleast fake it until we make it. 

"None of my friends were there." Chae-Sun played with the buttons on his shirt as he seemed to keep buttoning and ing one repeatedly.

"Sorry dude, but now you can make new friends, right?"

"Yeah. But I don't know what people are saying. How come no one speaks Korean?" I paused to think about maybe enrolling him in a local Korean school. At least then I could make the change a little easier for them.  

"Becasue we aren't in Korea anymore pabo!" Those were the first words Kan-Sun had spoken during the entire car ride and as I had expected this little girl had plenty of attitude about it. I was surprsied, however, that the girl was acting this way towards her brother. I wanted to chastise her but decided against it to not edge her on any further. 

"Kan-Sun is right and the prime language is english here. But you can also find people who speak Spanish, French, or Korean like when we met Mrs. Kim at the restaurant the other night." I had been eating at Mrs. Kim's restaurant ever since I moved to the city to go to school. I still remember the day I found a flyer slid underneath my door in my dorm.

"I liked that place. She reminded me of the Halmeoni's back home." 

"Whenever you go to a new place there will always be things that are different and the same, but it's important be flexible." I knew about the frustrations of being in new places all the time. "Tomorrow maybe you can try and teach some of the other kids some Korean, yeah?" 

"Neh!"

"What about you Kan-sun. Do you know what your teacher wanted to talk to me about?"

"Mmm." Kan-Sun just looekd out the window as the girl shrugged her shoulders. A part of me wanted to have push more but it was her first day. It couldn't have been anything serious, right? 

"Did you at least have a better time makeing friends your english is a better than your brothers?" And as expected I was met with silence. I pulled up to the front of our apartment building as my mind was reeling thinking about all the assingments I needed to get done tonight, the hours at work I had to make-up for the days I had to go to Seoul. "What am I doing?" Just as I stepped out the car and pulled my backpack over my shoulder, I looked in the backseat to see both kids sleeping. Exhaling deeply and loudly,  I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard a familiar voice from behind me. I saw my best friend Janelle walking down the street with her son walking by her side. I had only been in her shows for barely a week and already my attitude of admiration for her best friend had reached new levels.

I began to shake both kids awake. "Do you want to do a study night slash babysitting slash eat food type of night?" Janelle's son was the same age of Kan-Sun but he had the shyness of Chae-sun by far, as he stayed by the side of his mother while also noticing the kids hoping out of Miyah's car. I knelt down to tie Chae-Sun's shoes and locked the car with my keys whiel we headed for the front entrance.

"I don't see why not, besides I already know you're going to need the notes for next week." I put my tag to the door as the buzzer buzzed, unlocking the door to their apartment building. "How has it been thus far?"

"It's just been very busy. I thought it wouldn't pose as much of a challenge."

"What's been the hardest?"

"Understanding that I am selfish and self-centered."

"Yeah that tends to happen."

"This morning I showered first because I figured they'd sleep more, but no these busters woke up before me and didn't bat an eye at the fact that the sun wans't even up yet." Miyah looked to Janelle to make sure she still had her attention "But by the time I got them showered and dressed I had worked up a sweat so bad that I basically had to shwoer again but I coudln't becuase I couldn't affrod late attendance for my Psych class again..."

"...and then Dr. Brooger put you on blast and everything."

"Exactly as if i needed everyone else knowing that I was failing miserably."

"In all fairness you do have two so..."

"Yeah I just ahve a feelign that I have underestimated many things, like sleep?"

"You're smart and agile so don't worry about anything." I turn the lock in my fornt door to let ourselves into the apartment. "Plus I make it look easy but I have my entire family helping me so I have a baby-sitter whenever I need as long as its justified." I wait to hold the door for everyone to come though but only Janelle and her son come through. I lean my body out the door and and don't see either Kan-Sun or Chae-Sun in the hallway. I look down the space between the stairs down the five flights fo stair swe climbed and call out to them.

"Kan-Sun! Chae-Sun! Where are you?" I didn't hear a reply so I raced down the stairs again, leaving Janelle behind. "Kan-Sun where's Chae-Sun!" As I got to the last landing I saw Kan-Sun by the front door, pulling on the second entry-door.

"Why didn't you tell me to wait for you!" I shouted at Kan-Sun. Chae-Sun was pulling on the oposite side of the door with tears in his eyes. 

"Noona! Let me in!" Some how Chae-Sun had gotten stuck between the the two doors. I tried pushing the code in but the code wasn't working since Chae-Sun was holding the door. 

"Chae-Sun you have to stop pulling on the door otherwise I can't open it!" By this point two neighbors had opened their doors to see what wa all the comotion. "Aye! Shut up all that noise down there I'm trying sleep!" I pushed my hair out of my face as I knelt down to Chae-Sun's eye level. But this point he was crying so hard that you could see the streaks of tears on his cheeks that had suddenly became red.  "Chae-Sun listen to me okay. Close your eyes okay and just listen to me okay." I looked at Kan-Sun who was playing on the steps. "I need you to let go of the door and breathe little dude." He contnued ot cry a bit more but he wa quieting down and finally let one of his hands off the door handle. "I am going to open the door but you have to let go of the handle with both of your hands." Kan-Sun looked at you adn started breathing very hard and crying once again but he finally let go of the door and stepped back. You punched in the code, and once you heard the buzz you forcefully opened the door to the crying boy. 

"I'm so sorry I left you." You picked up Kan-Sun as he clung to you as he cried over your shoulder. As you turned around you saw a small gatheirng of residence standing in the hall starring at you. You weren't sure if it was because of the situation fo c sad child, or the fact that you were carrying one asian kid, and tightly held the hand of another as you went up stairs. With each flight she climbed she forgot about the people and thought more about the fast-beating little heart she felt as she patted the back of Kan-Sun. Miyah couldn't help but feel terrile knowing that she had been the cause of his distress.

...

"I swear I'm trying to stay optimistic but everytime I get a little hope. I end up screwing something up." Miyah sat on the couch as she was spilling what all had happened to Janelle who patiently waited for her in the mean time. "I didn't even recognize that they weren't with me. What if I were walking down the street?" You held Kan-Sun in your lap as he fell asleed right after dinner. You tried to put him down but he was not having it. Kan-Sun went to there room and practiced her homework. "I really don't want to be the woman who has 6 kids tied to her back with the little leashes and things."

"Girl please. You are not that bad. As a matter of fact we shoudl celebrate you being all responsibile by having a girls night. We can hit the club, go to a few frat parties, and maybe even go bar hopping."

I looked down at the sleeping Kan-sun in my arms and then at Janelle, questionably. "In one weekend?"

"Weekend? I was thinking a really long Saturday night."

"Are you crazy? Who's going to watch these two?"

"Girl you can find a babysitter anywhere these days."

"Okay well I want a babysiter, not a derranged psycho..."

"This day in age, whats the difference" Janelle my arm as she laughed at herself. "I'm just messing but really we shoudl becuase we have hung out as agroup in a minute...well at least in a non-academic manner. 

"I suppose you have a point. are you guys going to be spending the night?" I stood up from the couch still holding the very heavy child. 

"Nah me and little dude are going to get on. His Dad is supposed to be getting him tomorrow and I don't want to give him any excuse for not spending time with him. 'I went over but nobody was home.' I can see it now." 

I smiled and gave her a parting hug and gave a Hi-Five to Trevor. I flipped the switch in the kitchen and began towards Kan-Sun and Chae-Sun's bedroom and found Kan-Sun playing with her dolls. I strted to say somethign but thought against it. Sure we weren't exaclty gettign along but at least she wasn't being troublesome. I threw back the covers on his bed and set him down on his side quickly covering him up, again.

"You will never replace my mother." I turned around at Kan-Sun as she still sat on the bed brushing her dolls head. "He is young and may forget about her but not me." Kan-Sun looked at me over her shoulder. "Not ever."