Sometimes, Tiffany would feel cold. Head to toe. From her fingertips up to her heart. Sometimes, she would look down at the person in her hold, although she knows that she’s supposed to feel warm, all she’s feeling is the chilly atmosphere. Numbing her heart, stiffening her thoughts.

“How was your day?” She asked. Her fingers pressed lightly on the other girl’s pale shoulders.

“It was okay, I guess.” She let her eyes traced the features of the woman’s face. Every nook and cranny, her eyes scanned the face she loved for years.

“I see,” She hummed and continued staring, then like a magnetic pull, her eyes went up and connected with Taeyeon’s.

“Is there something wrong?” Taeyeon asked.         

“Nothing.” Tiffany answered. Her eyes still boring into Taeyeon’s. “Everything’s fine.” Somehow, in the back of her mind, she knows that she’s convincing herself than Taeyeon.

“Don’t lie to me.” The girl being held sighed, “You can tell me what’s in your mind.”

Can I really? Tiffany smiles, “But there’s really nothing wrong.” Why do I miss you so much?

Another sigh. Taeyeon shifted so that she’s facing Tiffany. The arm around her shoulders slid down to her waist. “Why can’t you tell me?”

Because I’m not sure if you’d still be in my arms after I tell you. The fear in her eyes probably showed because Taeyeon’s face grew confused, “What’s wrong?”

But Tiffany still kept quiet, smiling. “Nothing is wrong.”

They stayed quiet. Staring right at each other’s eyes. One figuring out what to do while the other’s trying hard to push away her questions.

“I met this girl, years ago,” Taeyeon started, “She was one of the quiet girls in class. But she was kind. Really kind. She even helped me with my books—without being asked to do so, I might add.”

Tiffany shifted her gaze away from Taeyeon’s.

“She was shy but really kind though. She was always patient with me too. And believe me, I am so thankful for her…She’s one of the best things that ever happened to me.”

Tiffany felt Taeyeon’s fingers intertwining with hers, “I liked the way she holds me tight, I liked the way how she kisses the top of my head when I’m sad or upset,” Taeyeon placed a soft kiss on the pale hand she was holding. Her eyes still staring right at Tiffany’s hiding ones, “I loved the way she loves me. And sometimes, I can’t help but think that maybe she wouldn’t hold on anymore because I was taking too long to return my heart.”

It was silent inside the room until Tiffany finally spoke, “I loved this girl for a long time. And I know that it will never change.” She took a deep breath, “But sometimes I’m scared. I was hanging by the end of the string and only the tips of my fingers are keeping me from falling. I’m afraid that if I let myself fall…I might finally let go. And I don’t want that. No matter how long it takes for me to painfully hold onto that last thread. No matter how bad everything gets. I don’t want to let this love go.” She looked up and stared at the hazy eyes staring right at her teary ones.

“I don’t want to let you go.”

A sob escaped Tiffany’s mouth, “I’m being selfish. I know. And maybe you’re unhappy with me now but I just can’t let go of you. Why is it so hard to let go of you, Taeyeon-ah?”

A kiss on the tip of her nose made her open her eyes. Her tears still freely dropping, sliding down her cheeks while she stared at the soft smile etched on Taeyeon’s face.

“Who says I was unhappy in your arms?”