Hi readers, 

I know it's been two months (so sorry) since my last chapter. 

I had difficulty progressing. And I'm still not sure. I just feel this chapter doesn't flow too well. 

Hopefully this isn't too disappointing. 

This chapter is quite long. And there is a bit of a side story inserted. But hopefully it's not too boring. 

I hope you are all well and healthy. 

Once again to my subscribers thank you so so much for your support. I can never thank you enough. 

I will keep trying hard to update (especially since I have reached another set of holidays). 

Until then, Happy reading 

As per her usual morning routine, Yoona drops by her favourite cafe, the one she has frequented everyday ever since discovering it by coincidence about a year ago. She is early this morning, deciding to leave the apartment early after a restless night of tossing and turning under her covers. Perhaps it was the warmth of spring and humidity in the air – she tries to convince herself. But Yoona knew that these were just excuses. Today was the scheduled appointment, one she appears to dread by constant reminders for herself to stay in check because the other part of herself, the part that was secretly looking forward to seeing him. But she never allows herself to admit, putting upon herself an admonition – for it was the number one cardinal rule of her job, the one she has worked so hard to put together and keep together. 

Her efforts to appear unaffected were thrown away when just before bed around a week ago, her roommate helped her realise something.

“What’s that song Yoona?” Yuri asked curiously as she was tucking herself into her covers. Yoona stopped humming. She braced herself, trying to figure out what her roommate was talking about.

“what song?”

“The one you were just humming.” Yuri points out as a matter of fact. Yoona freezes, stopping her folding of clothes.

“I was humming?” Yoona asks cautiously. In fact she had, it was a tune she had been listening to for a few hours, one she had danced to for a particular someone, for practice for a wedding – that isn’t hers. She almost chokes at her own actions.

“Isn’t that ‘nothing better’?” Yuri says in realisation.

Yoona swallows the lump in . “I don't even know I was humming. How can I know what song?”

Yuri decides not to point out the distractedness in Yoona’s voice.  

Last night she had an unsettling feeling gathered in her stomach – a mixture of butterflies and an anxiety that you would get before a really important exam. A test of her own self-restraint. It has become more difficult for herself, and she is starting to question her determination to stay away, so much that she starts hoping that Sooyoung will be back soon. But she knows what her close friend needs right now is peace of her own. So before she fell asleep last night, the memory of him asking ‘you’ll be there, right?’ constantly replayed as her guard was let down and she had given up trying to shun the thoughts out – she was too tired to.

Instead of writing her daily inspirational message at the counter like she usually does, she takes the card with her to a table and sighs as she seats herself near the window. She takes a sip of her latte, staring blankly out the cafe’s glass window - hoping that some space would allow her to clear her mind and put a bit of distance from her thoughts. The skies are overcast in a gloominess that warns rain. But Yoona does not take notice of it.

Shin Hye looks over the counter, watching Yoona’s troubled expression. She has rarely seen her like this before. And her curiosities start to play in whether it has anything to do with Changmin - the customer that usually comes in earlier than her, leaves and returns after Yoona leaves, just to collect something. Her curiosity is piqued as she spots a certain someone just entering through the glass door. The wind chimes announce his entrance and Yoona seems too deep in thought to realise his presence.

Changmin was just about to walk straight to the counter when a particular presence (or person) caught the corner of his eye – frequently happening since they met each other. His eyes widen, in surprise, having not expected her there. He glances at his watch and confirms that he was not late at all. He stares for a moment at her pensive expression and he sighs – a heavy feeling in his chest.

A part of him tells him to leave because it is the right thing to do – he is pretty sure she probably does not want to see him here. But there is a greater part of him that wants to stay. It may be selfish he reckons. But he reasons to himself, that he has every right to visit this coffee shop as well.

Shin Hye takes his order without needing to really ask anything other than ‘the usual?’ for everyday in the past month. He nods, tapping his card and distractedly stares back at the girl who is staring out the window.

As he approaches her, she doesn’t look up until he slides comfortably into the chair facing hers.

The first emotion that flickers in her eyes is shock, as she widens her doe eyes. There is a fleeting moment of ‘regret’ that Yoona feels rushing through her when the last person she wants to see is the first who turns up in front of her this morning. She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply. When she opens them, all her emotions are hidden behind the professional facade – one she only recently learnt to use.

“Mr Shim.” She acknowledges, nodding her head with a smile (one she is unsure how long she can hold ). And she musters all her courage to look into his eyes – ones with the charming glint under the light – before having to look away, out the window, at the table, anywhere but on him again.

He does not greet her, hoping they’ve been past the stage for greetings. And he does not point out that she is early for she does not know that he has been waiting for her for quite a while now. Instead, he points to her mug that has been left untouched for quite some time now.

“That looks like it’s gone cold.” He points out. And she shrugs, giving a tired smile. As she takes a sip, she realises that he is right. But doesn’t admit it. Yoona glances at the counter where Geun Suk is serving up Changmin’s coffee. Geun Suk gives Yoona a nod, prodding his head in Changmin’s direction.

So Yoona has an opportunity for a comeback.

“And yours is going to go cold too if you don’t pick it up.”

But Changmin is unfazed and studies her for a minute. She dares herself to stare back, despite the drumming in her chest, warning her to retreat.

“Aren't you going to write something?” he asks, directly staring back at her, without looking at her card.

“And why does that concern you?” Yoona asks softly. Changmin considers the question for a moment, before shrugging indifferently, the way Yoona did a few moments before.

“I guess it doesn’t” he says as he ups and outs of his chair to collect his coffee. Yoona watches him, as his back is to her at the counter. Her heart starts playing imaginations of her standing right next to him, them smiling at each other. She pushes those thoughts aside, biting her lip until she couldn’t hold the pain.

Reaching for a pen, she quickly scribbles onto her message card.

And closes the card as soon as she feels Changmin settling in the seat opposite her again. He looks at her questioningly as she avoids her gaze, and hides the card in her pocket.

“Where’s Yeonhee ssi?”

“She’s already there. Doing hair and makeup.” He simply answers.

“And you’re here because?”

He is taken aback by the question, struggling a little compared to his usual quick responses.

“I guess you’re right.”

She stares at him in confusion.

“The coffee here is better.”

Yoona smirks, “yet you were the one who didn’t believe me when I first said it.”

“My apologies then.”

“You’ve been more courteous these days.”

“thanks to you-“ he almost says teasingly but slows down mid-sentence. Yoona smile falters.

“-your scary lecture.”

“Scary?” Yoona repeats in disbelief.

“Yes scary” he nods “but meaningful.” She nods after finally agreeing.

“You're welcome.” She smiles. Causing him to chuckle, and he covers his lips with a fist.

She catches the time on his watch and stands up abruptly.

“I need to head to work.” Realising that she was planning to walk this morning – another way to try and clear her mind.

He is still sitting in his seat. He checks his watch.

“but you’re early.”

“I’m walking today.” Yoona says, while collecting her bag. 

“I can take you on the way.”

“Thank you. But I don’t think that’s appropriate.” Yoona says, shaking her head while starting to walk to the counter while reaching for the card in her pocket. Changmin stands up, about to follow her, but stops – not because of what she says next, but the pleading in her eyes.

“I need this.” She says. this space, this distance. She manages a forced smile as she sees the understanding form in his eyes in a non-verbal exchange. And for a moment she fears he can read her mind. But she leaves before her instincts completely falter. And he lets her leave, unable to bring himself to even object. It is only at the sound of the ringing windchimes that he can move from the spot.

He moves to the counter, picking up the card she had just left – now able to recognise the way she likes to sign off her cards, and her handwriting.

He pockets the card, before leaving the store, it is not until he is outside, watching her leave that he opens the message.

“Sometimes, you just have to hold it together. Because you have to.”

There is a clenching in his chest, an ache throbbing as he watches her disappear into the distance.

“I’m sorry.” He says under his breath.

***

Sooyoung wakes up to the shifting weight of her bed. She wakes up groggily. Removing her arm reluctantly, she finds her sister Choi Soojin staring expectantly at her, with a nurturing smile. Sooyoung immediately whines and covers her eyes again. Her whole body is tired from the amount of rest and lack of motivation in the past week. She is thankful that her sister and brother in law allowed her to intrude in their new abode.

But her sister is determined today.

“I don’t care whether you like it or not, I’ve invited some of my church friends over today – for a housewarming. You can either come and join us or you can have a day outside.”

Sooyoung considers her options.

“Do I know any of them?”

“I doubt you would.”

“I think I’d prefer to stay in my room today” 

“I doubt mother would like that”

“She certainly wouldn’t.” a voice from the doorway tells them their mother had joined us.

“Come down and help us Choi Sooyoung. Get your act together and socialise with the guests. You’ve had your break” she says, heading over to Sooyoung’s bed and slapping her daughter lightly on her leg. Sooyoung immediately sits up.

She spends the morning, helping with cutting the ingredients, setting up the table and preparing the drinks – trying to occupy her mind and she succeeds. With an hour left to go before the guests are expected, Sooyoung has yet to groom herself. But she cannot care less. It’s not like she has to impress anyone anymore now that she has broken up. So she runs out with the rubbish, unkempt hair, barefaced and makeup-less. She is still wearing her lounging clothes that she slept in last night, the ensemble finished off with pink rubber gloves – an image you would never associate with Miss Choi Sooyoung the professional wedding planner of SM weddings.

“Sooyoung ssi?” A male voice calls. Sooyoung freezes. She recognises the voice, it belongs to someone that she has worked with quite a few times at work. There is a flush of warmth that runs through her body and she closes her eyes in embarrassment before turning around to find the familiar face of her colleague, Choi Siwon. She flinches, trying to undo the moment but can do nothing to fix it.

“Siwon ssi?” She tries to keep her composure, initially trying to hide her face a little but decides that she has nothing to lose anymore, she covers it up with a sheepish smile. “What brings –“

“I’m sorry, am I too early?” Siwon asks apologetically.

“You’re from my sisters church?” She fails to mask the surprise in her voice and expression.

“You’re soojin’s sister?” he has that charming smile on – one he is famous for.

“yes” she says, almost begrudgingly and a thought hits her, so she leaves Siwon awkwardly standing outside the entrance of her sister’s house and runs back in.

“YAH, CHOI SOOJIN,” She yells – she really has nothing to lose now, opening the door to the house. And Siwon catches what sounds like a reciprocating yell asking ‘what’ “A guest has arrived!”

Sooyoung turns back to Siwon and bows while gesturing into the house.

“Do come in.” she says as if the previous moment did not just happen.  Siwon covers his amused smile with his hand, like the gentleman he is. He is about to thank her, but Sooyoung has already dashed upstairs and disappeared.

By the time Sooyoung returns, her hair is brushed and she is dressed in a change of respectable clothes she has a reputation for. She has not put any makeup on, but instead opted for some lip gloss on her dry lips.

Siwon was just at the bottom of the stairs with a bag of rubbish when Sooyoung came down. He stares at her, and she is surprised that the stare has no sign of judgement or mocking but a fascination.

“You look better without makeup.” Siwon says. Sooyoung smiles wryly and replies

“I can’t take that seriously after you’ve seen me like that.”

“But I mean it” but Sooyoung just ignores him. She reaches her hand out to take the rubbish from him. But he steps back.

“let me compensate for my bad timing of arriving early, I don’t think I can apologise enough.”

“Ah don’t sweat it.”

But before they can continue on with their conversation Sooyoung’s mother calls for her

“Choi sooyoung where are you? You can’t have a guest doing all the work!”

So Sooyoung and Siwon end up setting up the barbecue while chatting and waiting for the rest of the guests to arrive.

***

It is almost noon by the time Yoona arrives back at her own office after running around the block carrying out errands and tasks. She did not even get the chance to sit down when Naeun notifies her that the couple was ready for the final shoot.

“I’ll be over shortly.” Yoona says. The amount of running around had warmed her up enough for her to leave her blazer behind. She looks over the checklist in her notebook nervously, before convincing herself (by whispering to herself) that she can make it through this.

Though the shooting location was just in the courtyard of their company, the walk seems a little longer for Yoona as she takes quick but wary steps. She passes the dance studio that she had been in a week ago and forces herself to walk faster so that she cannot linger – and more importantly so that her thoughts cannot linger.

Reaching the photoshoot, Yoona approaches cautiously without disturbing them. Kyuhyun is directing the shots and he is calling out instructions

“so for the final set of photos, it’s going to be in the rain. And since Mr Shim Changmin is so bad at posing, let’s do a practice shots before getting rained on.” He calls, then looks through the lens of the camera in a crouching position. Yoona looks past Kyuhyun and finds Yeonhee and Changmin trying to mimic the pose that she had sketched earlier. The couple’s backs are to the camera, they are turned slightly towards each other and their hands are outstretched towards each other – with a space in between. However… the atmosphere is a little different. But Kyuhyun points it out – a little more bluntly than Yoona expected. Perhaps the two are a little closer than she thought.

“Yah Shim Changmin, can you be a little more human? You’re standing so stiffly.” Kyuhyun says, standing up straight and telling the groom. Yeonhee tries to cover her laugh. And Yoona bites back a giggle.

“I told you I was never made for photos!” Changmin complains. 

“I told you too, I can take care of the angles and everything. But you need to at least cooperate.” Kyuhyun reasons (rather impatiently).

“I am” Changmin snaps.

“Just be natural.”

“How do I do that?” Changmin asks, still trying to position himself better.

“Stretch your hand out towards Yeonhee more.” Kyuhyun monitors and continues commanding from behind the camera. “That’s a bit be-“ but before he can finish his sentence, he pulls the camera away frustratedly. “Now that’s too rigid.” Kyuhyun turns towards the laughing Yeonhee.

“Je Su nim(sister in law)” Yeonhee seems taken aback at the address but covers it up with a polite smile “does this guy know how to be natural or is he always so inflexible?”

“Yah watch it Cho-Kyuhyun” Changmin warns.

Yoona looks at her watch, she mentally calculates the schedule in her mind. She is worried that at this rate, the photoshoot is going to overrun. She steps out of her hiding.

“How about, instead of a still shot, we get them to just slowly reach out to each other like their about to hold hands?” Yoona suggests as Yeonhee and Changmin nod at her in greeting (the latter a little distractedly). “Kyuhyun ssi you can capture the right moment right? You’ve done it heaps of times”

“Of course,” Kyuhyun says haughtily, raising his chin high and proud.

“Your arrogance never faded since high school.” Changmin says, loud enough for Kyuhyun and Yoona to hear. Yoona considers the amount of flack the two give each other and conclude that they must have been best mates for a long time to offend each other but not get offended. Kyuhyun is about to retaliate but Yoona puts a hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder to stop him.

So they follow Yoona’s suggestion and it takes only a few photos for Kyuhyun to be satisfied. Taking the opportunity that Kyuhyun is checking the photos, Yoona collects Yeonhee’s jacket from Naeun and places it over the bride’s shoulders. The spring breeze is starting to get a little cooler, as the sky becomes cloudier.

“Yoona ssi.” Yeonhee greets as she thanks her for her care.

“You did well.” Yoona says while greeting the couple.

“are you sure?” Yeonhee asks uncertainly

“yes you’re a natural. But…” her voice wavers uncertainly when she turns to Changmin. “I’m sorry Mr Shim but I can’t exactly say the same for you.”  Changmin stares back at Yoona warningly. But he is distracted when Yeonhee playfully hits him on the arm.

“this is taking so long because of you, Mr Shim.” Yeonhee points at Changmin accusingly. Changmin feigns acceptance and lets it pass.

“Only joking.” Yoona adds.

“Sure.” the sarcasm heavy in Changmin’s reply.

“You don't have to be nice to him Yoona ssi.” Yeonhee says, then suddenly remember. “Oh and thank you for stepping in for the dance lesson.”

Yoona shrugs in response "well I guess it was kind of desperate circumstances.”

“Yeah I agree.” Yeonhee says. The girls both chuckle and glance at the silent but offended Changmin. As Changmin’s gaze shifts to Yoona, she quickly turns away and talks to Yeonhee instead.

“Our team is already setting up the hose. So it won’t be a very long wait.”

“We might be expecting rain.” Kyuhyun adds as he rejoins the group.

“I don’t think it’ll rain that soon. Since you have a tight schedule, we’ll stick to using the hose” Yoona explains as Yeonhee and Changmin nod in understanding. 

“It will get a little cold, but we’ve got towels prepared for you. Once we’re done we’ll quickly get you changed.”  

“The way it’s set up, you’ll only feel a light drizzle. But if we do this right, it won’t take long.” Kyuhyun adds. He casually leans towards Changmin. 

“Thanks to me,” Kyuhyun says, pointing at himself to emphasise his point. “Your photos turned out alright. So this shouldn’t take long.”

Kyuhyun finishes explaining to the couple and pulls Yoona aside to show her the photos.

“What do you think?” he points to a shot where Yeonhee and Changmin are looking at each other. Yoona tries not to think too much, so she blurts out a quick general answer.

“I think it’s good.” She nods affirmatively.

“But… if you look closely…” Kyuhyun says, pointing to the photograph on his camera “notice the way he’s looking at her.” Yoona obliges and regrets the decision a little. There is a flipping motion in her stomach. She bites her lip to fight back the sensation. 

“What about it?”  

“There seems to be missing something.” Kyuhyun says, covering his mouth in concentration. Yoona takes a real look at the photograph she finds Changmin in the photo then she looks away from the camera and towards the couple who are having their makeup touched up.

“I think it’s just that he’s good at hiding his own emotions. That’s all” Yoona says softly.

“He hasn’t always been like that you know. Only since…” Kyuhyun says, a melancholy in his voice. Yoona looks up at Kyuhyun’s comment, her eyes wide with curiosity.  There is no sign of the previous cheeky character that had been poking fun at Changmin. “Never mind” Kyuhyun finishes, shaking it off.

Realising that he is not going to reveal any more than he let slip, Yoona can only nod silently.

A cold breeze brushes past Yoona’s bared arms, her short sleeve blouse unable to keep her warm in the cooling wind. She hugs herself trying to retain warmth, but it does little help. She tries to distract herself but ends up accidentally landing her eyes on Changmin. She is uncertain whether it is bad timing or just sheer coincidence but Changmin catches her staring in his direction and he reciprocates but she averts her gaze to somewhere else.  There is a flustered drumming in her chest. So she is quite grateful when the technical team announce that they are ready for the next phase.

The shoot does not take long, other than the fact Kyuhyun requests them to add in a few different poses like asking them to link arms but Changmin cannot manage to smile. So he had to resort to getting them to hold hands and walk in the rain (away from the camera) which luckily does not require facial expressions.  It soon started raining naturally, the droplets of water getting a little too heavy to look aesthetically pleasing, so the crew wrap up the shoot.

Naeun hastily wraps Yeonhee warmly in towels to rush her off to change clothes. As Naeun hands Changmin a towel, he merely (yet politely) declines. He just shrugs off his suit jacket as he heads under the nearest spot under shelter. Instead of heading to the change rooms as well, he stays in the spot, waiting – and he is unsure what for. From there, he finds himself watching Yoona run around in heels in the rain, helping the crew pack up the last bits of equipment. He is about to help her pick up a box of tools from the ground when he hears someone calling for him.

“Mr Shim,” Chanyeol, one of the assistants calls for him, he holds out the suit jacket. “Is this yours?” Changmin identifies the suit jacket he was wearing before the photoshoot.

“Yes, thank you” he nods in gratitude, as he swaps the wet jacket with the dry.  

By the time Changmin turns, Yoona is stepping towards his direction for cover, the other colleagues heading in the opposite way. He figures that she probably has yet to realise that he is standing there (slightly obscured by a pillar) as she briskly brushes the rain off her skin. She wraps her arms around herself, shivering a little as she heads away from him, in the direction of her office. There is a moment of contemplation before he follows. But seeing her shudder and hug herself tighter, he quietly walks up to her. He clears his throat, as if announcing his presence (in wake of the last incident where he scared her).

Yoona comes a stop in her tracks. She is in the midst of turning around when he places his dry suit jacket onto her hunched shoulders. She tenses, at first, and Changmin finds the shock in her eyes as she looks up at him. But upon realising that it is him, she relaxes, the disappeared shock in her eyes is replaced by an uncertainty as she stares back at him. All she can manage is blink back at his twinkling eyes when her mind is still frozen.

The two of them stay standing in the spot and have a silent exchange with their gazes. Her hand clenches the fabric of the jacket that he just placed her.  It takes her a moment for her to come to her senses. She immediately shrugs off the jacket, handing it back to him. She bows to him and holds out the jacket.

“Thank you Mr Shim,” she says in a steady and calm voice. “but I’ll be fine.”

Changmin cannot find an appropriate response. He silently takes back the jacket. He bows his head apologetically as well

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I shouldn't have…” he begins but stumbles over his own words.

She shakes her head, enough for him to stop talking. She and looks down at her feet, as if trying to search for words. When she looks up again, there is a certainty behind her gaze.

“The final taste testing is in two days, please don’t forget. I’ll send Yeonhee ssi a reminder prior to it.” She says quietly. It takes Changmin a moment before he can respond.   

“Thanks.”

And she bows once more, takes a step back to create distance before walking away.

“If you’d excuse me.”

He can only nod wordlessly, pursing his lips together and looking down at the tiles beneath his feet. He leans against the wall behind him, waiting until her footsteps disappear before finally leaving.

***

Kyuhyun had just finished packing his equipment, he locks his phone after sending a text to Minho. Turning a corner, he catches a glimpse of Changmin (whose back was facing him) standing aimlessly under the shelter about around ten metres away. He is about to walk up to him when Changmin suddenly walks away. Curious, Kyuhyun (rather stealthily) catches up, and remains hiding behind the closest wall. He takes a peek and to his surprise, he finds his friend and Yoona standing in awkward silence.

He finds it funny that his friend is socially awkward to such a state (other than for business purposes). He decides to take a photo as evidence of how awkward Changmin is. Taking out his phone and sticking it out so that only his phone is exposed, he takes a snapshot of the two staring at each other in silence.

He quickly retracts his arm and retreats into the nearest office so that they don’t find out about his cheeky act. Once he believed he had reached safety, he opens the photo in his phone. It really isn’t a bad photo the thinks to himself. The light in the background just right. In fact it’s quite a masterful piece. He is quite good at taking photos in the moment after all – he thinks to himself.

But he looks closer at the photograph. What he initially thought was plain awkwardness had something else mixed in between.  He is unable miss the way they looked at each other, more importantly the way he looked at her. It was filled with emotion – emotion that he’d been hiding. An emotion he couldn’t find in the wedding shoot with Yeonhee.

“That’s the way he’s supposed to look in the photoshoot. That punk.”

Then he realises what that implied. But he tries to dismiss

“It can’t be…” he whispers under his breath. He is getting married after all.

He looks at the photo again and notices how his jacket is on the shoulders. He gains a little confidence in the fact that they are standing apart. He trusts that they are both not the type of people to do something out of line. But Kyuhyun cannot help but worry for them that is, if anyone else gets the wrong idea.

But he swears to keep quiet for if he says anything out of line, he can potentially get both Yoona - a respected friend and colleague and his long time best friend in trouble.