''Yah, Jeongukah, wanna get lost?''

''Mm? Where?''

''Anywhere.''

Breakfast that morning was a little bit awkward as events go - Yoongi had slept in which made you consider that maybe he had done it on purpose so he could avoid you all and eat alone, but he still managed to come by before you left. He said his hellos but he averted his eyes from you immediately. No one noticed anything unusual, you didn't think, but you knew well enough, and you wanted to just get lost for a while and not have to think about the conversation of last night and the kind of confrontation you were yet to have. The moment Jungkook was done eating, you'd pulled him away with you, him still chewing, but following along nevertheless.

''Alright, where exactly are we going?'' he asked as he waited for you to change in the bathroom.

''That cave, remember? It was your idea to explore.''

''Yeah, before I realized you were afraid of deep water,'' he replied with a tone of slight worry, ''You should have told me that before we set out for hours into the deep, noona.''

''I'm not afraid, Kookie. I used to be. There's a difference. I can handle myself now. Besides, I'm a solid swimmer, if I do say so myself.''

''You still panic at the smallest thing-''

''That moss could have been an octopus! That was just nasty!''

Jungkook chuckled. ''Alright, if you say so.''

It didn't take long to reach the cave, but the moment you swam inside, goosebumps graced your neck and whatever skin was not underwater. The temperature shifted drastically, from scorching summer heat to legitimately cold down where no sun reached.

''We're going as far as there's light,'' you said.

''Damn it, we should have bought a couple of those waterproof flashlights,'' he huffed out, somewhat out of breath.

''That sounds interesting in theory but have you soncidered what kind of creatures might live where there's no sunlight, ever,'' you countered.

''No...''

You chuckled weakly. ''I'd go though,'' you said, ''In full body armor.''

''Look at that! That looks like a nice place to chill out,'' Jungkook said and swam over to rocks reaching above water, lifting himself up almost effortlessly. It was a nice nook in the cave where you could comfortably sit, with a ceiling high enough above your head. The rock was smoothed out by years and years of waves clashing against it, so it was so slippery you fell into the water three times before you managed to push yourself up with Jungkook's help and laughter.

''Stop laughing,'' you grumbled.

''You panic every time,'' he shook his head, face in hands.

''Well excuse me but I do not like the prospects of drowning.''

''See? You are afraid.''

''Am not!''

''But-''

''I just don't like-! How do I put this?''

''Hobi hyung is afraid of water,'' he shrugged, as though saying ''I get it.''

''Well, I used to be like Hobi when I was a kid but I faced the fear years ago, so. I'm not afraid of water per se. It's just- Wouldn't it be the worst way to die? Like, of all. Water is freaking brutal. You just... choke down there. It's gotta be painful. And panicky.''

''I just never thought about it a lot,'' Jungkook said.

''I couldn't even swim in pools in video games,'' you laughed at yourself, ''When I played Tomb Raider as a kid, there was nothing more traumatizing than diving. Jesus.''

''Death by fire is probably worse,'' Jungkook suggested, ''Actually I'm pretty sure.''

''Wait, what the hell are we talking about right now?!'' you laughed, ''Talk about something else. You're not even eighteen. And don't mention any kind of fire because I'm positively freezing to death as we speak.''

Your skin was now like that of a chicken's. It was so curious that it could be so much colder in a place meters away from scorching heat.

''Wanna go back?''

''Not without rest, Kookie, the beach is a long way off,'' you warned, ''So. How are things going?'' you nudged him playfully, the tone of your voice teasing, ''We haven't talked properly in ages.''

He blushed a bit as he always does at first, though it wasn't as obvious in the shade of the cave.

''Things are going... well,'' he grinned.

''Ooh, girlfriend treats you that good?''

''Better than good,'' he smiled, half shyness half mischief.

''Omo! Is this our baby?!'' you all but hyperventilated, ''Our baby all grown up! Look at thiiiiss!''

''I'm not a baby,'' he argued with a shy grin, trying to shrug you off while you ruffled his hair and pinched him and whatnot. ''Yah!''

''Well, not anymore!''

''Staaahp,'' he laughed.

''What about you, noona?'' he asked once you stopped all but fighting like children, ''When are you gonna get married? Please have it in mind!''

''Yah, this bastard!'' you punched his arm, as he laughed ''Who's gonna get married-! Tsk-''

''Well, then?''

''It's... It's been boring,'' you said truthfully.

''Well you can't tell me there's not a horde of guys trying to get with you as we speak, noona, so-''

''It's not exactly a horde, but yeah that's not the problem,'' you smiled, ''Thanks for thinking that though.''

''Noona, the reason you're single is because you're married to your work,'' Jungkook explained, ever so philosophically, ''Just like Yoongi hyung.''

Something twisted in the pit of your stomach at the sound of his name. It was true enough, Yoongi was a workaholic. So were you, since you were lucky enough to be able to do what you love - the both of you. You had that, among many other things, in common. It also made you think the possibility of you stubbornly staying single for almost two years now was because of your emotional unavailability. Maybe it was your supressed feelings for that boy that just had you in stuck in place.

''Well, he too has a horde of girls,'' you said instead of voicing what was actually on your mind.

''Yeah, he doesn't take that serious though,'' the maknae said, ''Yoongi hyung always had this distinction in his mind between fans of our music and girls who will, as he says, move on to the next idol eventually.''

''Ain't Yoongi a philosopher.''

''It's probably true too. For someone who barely socializes, he knows people pretty well,'' he chuckled, ''It's a bit scary honestly.''

''He pretty much saw through every shady employee in all of BigHit,'' you nodded in agreement, ''Like through glass.''

''Within the first months too.''

''Well, it takes a shady to know a shady,'' you joked.

''I think he likes someone though.''

Boom. Another drop in your stomach. Your heart really had to stop working against you. You had had this under control for a while now. What was happening again? This trip was not a good idea. Spending time in his company on a getaway from the world? And add the conversation from last night to that? How was any of this a good idea?

What were you feeling? Hard to say. Jealousy? Heartbreak? Hope? All of it?

''Yoongi?'' you asked with disbelief - if nothing, you were a good actress - ''Pfft, I'd sooner believe he adopted an alpaca and named it Dudu.''

''Really, though. I know he wouldn't say, he never speaks about that stuff, but I know him.''

''How do you know?''

''Well, he became a bit more... melancholic? He does stuff he usually doesn't and... his lyrics are different. I peeked into his mixtape notebook and a couple of songs... there's no way he could have written that unless he felt it. That wouldn't have been Yoongi hyung.''

You knew that well enough. Yoongi was the most blunt, most honest person in the world - he rarely spoke about his feelings but when he spoke he was truthful. And nothing expressed him like his lyrics.

Damn it. You wanted a look at his lyrics, but he never let anyone see except Namjoon sometimes. You were curious about the whole thing, but also scared a bit, and a tiny bit hopeful, and a bigger bit wounded.

''He's gonna smack you to Japan if he finds out you sneak peeked into his lyrics, you know that, right,'' you smiled.

''But he's not gonna find out,'' he smiled sort of evilly, ''Because, you know, accidents happen at sea, especially in dark caves, and-''

''You could try, honey,'' you laughed, and he joined you.

''Let's get back, we're gonna turn blue in here.''

Jungkook just jumped into the water like it was no big deal. You, on the other hand, had just tried your best to carefully slide down into it, adjusting to the temperature centimeter by centimeter. You didn't want the actual devil that is water to have you in its grip down under. That you were yet not quite okay with.

Jungkook kept diving under until you no longer saw him, just to terrify you, but you couldn't even reach him to smack him once he was back above.

''Jungkook? This is not funny anymore, get out,'' your voice echoed through the cavern once more.

''Aahhh!'' the panic that seized your heart would have given a heart-attack to the world's biggest elephant. It took you only a moment to realize it was Jungkook who had pulled on your leg and pulled you below, but it was a moment too late. Your heart was already thumping like mad, you were already thrashing to get above like he was a shark.

''That's not ing funny!'' you shouted at him, once above, spitting water, voice still echoing. He was laughing. 

He was bloody laughing.

''I don't believe you.''

''I'm sorry, noona-,'' he laughed.

''I'm gonna find out what your fear is and then I'm not gonna let you have a peaceful night of sleep until next year!''

''I'm sorry! I couldn't help it!''

''Stop laughing!''

''Okay, I'll stop. And I won't do it anymore, I promise.''

''Good.''

''You kicked me in the shoulder though.''

''Shut up, you deserved it,'' you grumbled as you swam on toward the entrance, ''And don't dive in for so long.''

It wasn't long until you shouted again, instinctively thinking it was Jungkook, realizing the moment the words came out that it, in fact, was not him.

''What?!'' he burst out of the water at the sound of his name.

''Oh my God, Jungkook, something has my leg I can't move.''

''Stop joking-''

''I'm not joking, Jesus Christ, I can't-''

Panic was rising again, but you contained it, keeping yourself above water, trying to kick your leg free, and not drown.

''Hold on,'' Jungkook barely had time to say before he dived under and you felt another pull, figuring it's his strong hands trying to wrench you free. You didn't want to think about what it was that held you.

''It's nothing, just sprouts and branches twisting around, I have no idea how your leg went through it but it's tight around your calf, and moss just creeps up with it. Hold on,'' he dived again.

''Oh my God, oh my God, oh my Goooood,'' you tried to keep the panic at normal levels as you felt Jungkook trying to free you again.

He came back up. ''Don't panic,'' he said, positively terrified for you now - not because you could drown, he didn't think that, but because he knew this was your fear. He probably felt bad about scaring you before too, you realized.

''I'm not panicking-''

''When you feel me pull, try to pull your leg off into the opposite direction as hard as you can. Okay?''

''Okay.''

''As hard as you can.''

This time he was under longer, and you found yourself worrying about him instead, but he pulled, and you pulled, and in another moment, you were free, and you were swimming onward, and over some ragged rocks that scraped the skin off your calf pretty bad, but you didn't care, you were swimming onward, onward, onward.

''Thank you,'' was all you could say to Jungkook as you swam back, and all he could do once you finally stood on the beach was hug you as hard as he could, harder than he ever did. That was his apology re-done, you figured. You didn't want him to feel bad at all. You simply pecked him on the cheek and ruffled his wet hair.

''Where have you guys been?'' Hoseok asked, lying in the shade with Seokjin, wet towels under them. Yoongi was seated in a chair, scribbling something. He lifted his eyes just to see you're there, then brought them back to what he was doing. The rest of the guys were nowhere in sight.

''Chilling,'' you said.

''_____, you're bleeding,'' Seokjin pointed out, getting up immediately. Yoongi put down his notebook.

You hadn't even noticed.

''It's nothing,'' you said, looking down on the bloody torn patch of skin - it really wasn't that big of a deal.

''What happened?'' Yoongi stood up and asked, which was the first sentence directed toward you that day.

''Just pulled through some sharp rocks, no big deal! Geez.''

''I told you guys not to go that far. If something had happened, no one would have been there to help you.''

''Nothing happened,'' you argued.

''It very well could have,'' he argued back.

''But it didn't-''

''... and just might the next time you go and be reckless-''

''We were fine out there, there's no-''

''I'm not gonna argue so just sit down,'' he pointed to the beach chair he had been sitting in.

''I'm not-''

''Just sit down, will you.''

''It was my idea though, so-,'' Jungkook intervened.

''Whose idea it was doesn't matter one bit.''

You found yourself complying and obeying, seating yourself in the chair. Yoongi was, apparently, angry. Seokjin and Hoseok had kept silent thus far. 

''It's my damn cut on my damn leg-,'' you started.

''And your damn business? I don't think so,'' he was pouring some clear, cold drinking water from his bottle onto your leg, then went and came back with a clean towel to dry it and a cream to apply afterwards.

''I can take care of myself,'' you argued, taking the cream before he could.

''Obviously,'' he retorted sarcastically. He watched you apply the cream onto the scraps, and you did all you could not to hiss at the pain, just to spite him.

''No more swimming that far, agreed?'' Seokjin asked, ''No more worrying anyone.''

''Agreed,'' you and Jungkook replied sullenly in unison.

''It's not bleeding anymore, so everything's fine,'' Hoseok said to calm the matters.

''Just keep that thing out of the sun,'' Yoongi said, ''For a day, at least.''

''If she has a reaction, there's a doctor, so-''

''No, Jungkook,'' you replied, ''You guys are ridiculous. It's really just superficial cuts.''

''Luckily, no sharks around,'' Hoseok smiled.

''You sure about that?'' Yoongi asked.

''We didn't go that far,'' you retorted.

''I need to go chill,'' Yoongi said before he retreated to his place. You didn't see him until the end of that day.

In the end, you were right, it was just superficial cuts that would heal in a matter of a couple of days. What you didn't foresee was beating up your ankle, and night had fallen once you noticed it, pulsating and swelling. That wasn't that bad either, you must have twisted it back there, but it would prove to be a pain in the unless contained immediately. The guys had all gone to sleep. And you needed ice. Lots of it.

You hopped outside on one leg, to see if there were any of the guys awake and chilling. None. You went for your phone, searching for Namjoon. You hoped it was on vibration, because you didn't want to wake everyone. It rang for like a minute. Nothing.

Alright, Hoseok next. And you'd be dialling the boys until one picked up, all except Yoongi. Hoseok's phone rang for a good while as well.

''Hello?'' finally a voice sleepily mumbled; a voice that didn't belong to Hoseok. A voice that sounded a lot like Yoongi's too.

''Yoongi?'' you asked, brows furrowed, wondering if you're crazy because you were pretty sure you dialled up Hobi.

''_______? Hoseok's asleep. What do you want?''

''Well... Why are you answering his phone?!''

''Because he seems to be dead and his damn phone keeps vibrating above my head,'' he grumbled, his voice awfully adorable for some wretched reason, ''Now what do you want?''

''Wake him up. Or Namjoon. I'm sorry but I need ice. My ankle is messed up. Just wake him up and go back to sleep.''

''Ice... Jesus,'' was the last thing you heard before he hung up.

You were sitting on your stairs, just like the night before, waiting. It was Yoongi who walked out, still in his sleepwear, rubbing his face and frowning like a baby woken up from a nap, and you honestly hadn't expected him at all, so when he mumbled ''Be right back'' and went, you wanted to shoot yourself in the head for all your luck.

Less than 10 minutes, and there he was, back with a bucket.

''I told you to wake Hoseok.''

''Wow, you're welcome,'' he walked past you, ''There should be a small fridge in there.''

You considered hopping back inside after him, but he was back with a rag somehow produced and ice cubes in it. He was fixing you up before you could say a word.

''Swollen ankle,'' he said, ''You don't have to tell me what happened, but at least don't lie to me about it.''

''Why are you so angry? Why do you care?''

''Wow, okay, I don't know why I care since you're obviously nothing to me and neither is Jungkook.''

''I mean... I didn't mean it like that-''

''Yes, you did.''

''I'm sorry, okay? And thank you. You shouldn't have. I was looking for Hoseok-''

''Why?'' he asked, still not looking you in the eyes, still making sure the cold fix was well adjusted.

''What do you mean?''

''Why didn't you call me?''

''I don't know, I just randomly-''

''Lies.''

You searched for a good comeback in all the corners of your mind but none was coming. So you resorted to silence, and not on purpose.

He looked up, looking you straight in the eyes. ''Again, you don't have to tell me, just don't lie to me. You know I hate lies.''

Something broke inside of you then, some resolution that just made you realize how tired you were of pretending and playing games and how much you just couldn't care anymore. So you decided to spit it out, just like that, no prior calculation or consideration.

''Last night ended pretty badly and we basically avoided each other all day, so.''

''True.''

''And you were angry.''

''That's true too.''

''But the real issue is you and I growing apart, and it being my fault. Well, I'm sorry. I did it because I'd developed feelings for you and I thought it smartest to take a step back.''

''I know.''

''You do.''

''I do. I only ever wanted you to be real with me.''

''Well, I'm being real with you now. The truth is, those feelings might be back, if they ever left. And I miss you. I miss us.''

''Me too.''

''So there you go... There's- no going back now,'' you said, ''And you can't possibly do any more damage to this friendship than it's already been done, so.''

''All this while I've been angry with you, not quite realizing it myself even,'' he started, looking toward the sea, ''But I was angry. You just... came into my life, made a mess, and just decided to pick up and leave. That was so-''

''I didn't realize our friendship was a mess.''

''But it was. You were. And I was.''

''What do you mean?''

''What I mean is every time you came over for a movie, I- wanted to kiss you so bad, like- with every fibre of my being. It was ing insane.''

Loss for words. And utterly so. What could you say? That just hit you like a bomb. You were surrounded by a smoky fog, your mind a mess, splinters still flying, ears still buzzing, going into aftershock.

''I still do,'' he added after that short silence, but his voice sounded so little and so insecure now you wanted to stab yourself with a fork. Good, that meant you were feeling again now. Back in reality.

You looked to him. He looked so beautiful, hair a mess, skin barely sunkissed, eyes still sleepy. He looked back. You wanted to kiss him too. You wanted him to kiss you. But was he going to? You couldn't. Not first. If he doesn't kiss you you're gonna be so disappointed and feel so bad and empty and you're probably not gonna be able to fall asleep and he absolutely has to kiss you now; Kiss me kiss me kiss me.

His fingers on your cheek softly, eyes searching yours, and then he leaned in, ever so carefully, insecurely, and when he pressed his lips against yours and you felt his breath on your skin, you knew why people said one felt butterflies in the stomach. Though this felt more life bloody fireworks.