When Taeil opened his eyes all he could see was a blur of grey, white and maybe a little bit of blue. It looked so cold and unfriendly that he immediately closed them again, pretty certain that it must be a weird dream. Additionally there were no real sounds only a murmur of something he couldn’t assign. But there was something else. A warm feeling on his arm? He tried hard to open his eyes once again, to find out what was really happening. His view cleared a little and he started to hear someone speaking to him. So it wasn’t a dream after all?

¨…you awake?¨

Taeil turned his head a little in the direction the muffled voice came from.

¨Taeil, can you hear me?¨ said the voice. It was a lot more clear now.

¨Huh?¨ is all Taeil could get out weakly, his throat was dry and his head ached a lot. 

Of course it was Jiho who was talking to him. How come he was always there?

¨It’s okay, you don’t have to talk now. You scared me to death, you know that?¨ said the younger quietly. 

¨What happened?¨ asked the singer hesitantly. 

¨…Well…¨ Jiho paused, thinking. ¨…You had a physical and mental breakdown last night and you were bleeding severely from your hand. I heard you stumbling to the bathroom and I was worried so I decided to go and check on you. When you didn’t answer I opened the door and I saw you holding onto the sink, crying, shaking and gasping for air and there was blood on your clothes and on the ground. When I tried talking to you you didn’t reply and then you suddenly collapsed. It was truly scary, you looked so pale and sick. By that time Jaehyo, Kyung and Jihoon finally came and called an ambulance. You were taken care of and since then you’ve been sleeping here in hospital all day.¨

Taeil didn’t answer. He remembered again, all the panic attacks he tried to hide so much. So everyone knew now. He didn’t want that, he should’ve beee stronger. He needed to make sure that everybody knew he was alright. He caused enough trouble.

¨When can I leave? Can I leave now?¨ he said with more stable voice.

¨What?¨ The rapper stared incredulous for a moment.

¨Of course not, you just woke up! They said they’d keep you for another night or two and I wouldn’t mind if they kept you even longer. Your body is broken, it’s ruined, do you understand what I’m saying? You’re underweight and your body can’t handle any more, that’s why you collapsed. Please, I’m begging you to stop pushing yourself all the time, stop trying to be so strong and take the break you need. I don’t exactly know what happened to you but you suffer and I can’t watch anymore!¨ he took a deep breath and continued staring at his weak fellow member with a worried expression.

Taeil felt the strong need to cry at his words and at first he held the tears back but then he thought about what Jiho said and knew that if he could trust someone it was him. So he gave up and let his permanently present guard down . 

¨I’m so sorry Jiho¨ he silently sobbed ¨I never wanted to disappoint you. I never wanted to be a burden to anyone so I kept quiet shut but that doesn’t mean I didn’t trust you. I just lost faith in myself.¨

¨I’d never be disappointed in you! You’ve proven to be so strong already, how could I be disappointed? I’m always so proud of you. No need to hide your weak spots. I’m only worried.¨

He squeezed the singers hand, holding it for a long time while eyeing the other bandaged one. They stayed like this until Taeil calmed down.

¨Let’s talk about it when you’ve gotten some rest, you should go back to sleep.¨ Jiho said with a soft voice. He thought for a moment, staring at the older.

¨Maybe I should leave.¨ He waited a few seconds before he stood up, but when he did Taeil instantly grabbed his hand without thinking.

¨Don’t! Err, I mean- can you stay only a little longer?¨ He had used all the courage he could work up to say his request out loud but doubt was taking him over immediately and he regretted asking. What if he took his free time? Or worse, what if he was busy and was only being nice and now he’s forced to-

¨Sure! I prefer staying anyways, when I said I should leave I was only being polite.¨ Jiho let out his characteristic loud laugh. He sat down again with a big, genuine smile, taking the other males hand  and unexpectedly rested his head on his belly.

¨Maybe I should sleep as well? I always tell you to take a break while I’m the worst role model someone cold have.¨ He laughed again.

¨And you are comfortable. I’m gonna fall asleep in a second.¨

Taeil didn’t know if it was because of his love for the other man or the drugs he was on due to his pain killers but his heart fluttered so much that he hoped it wasn’t too obvious how much he liked him. 

If only life wasn’t so complicated. 

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sorry that this one is a little shorter than usual but it's more like an extra chapter?

I hope you like it anyway, I think it was cute ^___^

the story is coming to an end so I wanted to know if you are interested in another taeco fanfiction? I always take requests on topics so feel free to send me some ideas :)

I also thought about writing some oneshots or short little storys about taeco instead of long storys, what do you guys think? ❤