People thought of Irene as a princess. It was hard not to anyway, given her beauty and natural air of elegance. She walked with poise – years of learning ballet taught her that. Since she was an introverted person to begin with, it was hard for her to strike up conversations. As a result, she wasn’t close to any of the other trainees (except for Seulgi). They viewed her through biased lenses, constantly the topic of gossip among many. She was either a delicate flower or a stuck up . (Neither was great, either way.)

So noisy.

Trainee life was immensely hard for Irene. Love letters were into her hands everyday and she always returned home with a bag heavy with confessions. Dirty looks from fellow female trainees were thrown in her direction often. They didn’t do anything else to her because they were too afraid.

There were rumours flying around that Irene’s father was a politician and her mother was a business woman lauding in tons of money. Rumours like these amused Irene to no end. Seulgi would always look at her with sympathetic eyes but Irene paid no mind to them.

“People only believe what they want to believe,” she would say and Seulgi would look at her with even sadder eyes.

Irene and Seulgi had been training since their middle school days. Now in high school, they had trained for 5 and 6 years respectively. Irene remembered the first time she joined the company to become a trainee. She was placed in a group with people mostly the same age as her. She was only eleven then. Everyone had shunned her away and only Seulgi, who was honestly far from a bubbly bear, approached her. (Children were so cruel sometimes.)

Irene had a fixed routine. 1.) Go to school. 2.) Go to the company to train. 3.) Go home. It was dry and often times, quite meaningless to Irene. It was to the point where she thought of quitting and giving up her dream of becoming an idol. There was barely enough time to sleep, let alone do anything else.

Her life was meaningless – until it wasn’t.

There was a new trainee being accepted into the company. The trainee was to be placed in her group and already, there was quite a buzz. Rumour had it that the new trainee was a power vocal who hailed from Canada, who had talent beyond words.

Irene wasn’t particularly excited, just waiting around the practice room until the new trainee showed up. She sat beside Seulgi who couldn‘t stop tapping her fingers. Seulgi, unlike her, was pretty excited about the new trainee.

There were two knocks and the door to the practice room swung open.

Wide eyed and stuttering, the new trainee greeted a loud annyeonghaseyo! and bowed furiously, hair flying everywhere. Her hair was messed up and stuck out at every corner when she recovered. She wore a wide, nervous smile that was about as bright as the sun. (It warmed Irene, somehow.)

The rumours were right. She was from Canada and auditioned with her own rendition of Big Bang’s Fantastic Baby. What the rumours didn’t say was how the new trainee could manage to capture everyone’s heart with a sincere smile. They didn’t say how she was as tiny as a hamster but had a voice that could shake the world.

And they definitely didn’t say how utterly beautiful she was.

Her name was Son Seungwan – everyone laughed because it was such a boyish name – but she preferred Wendy. Irene’s first encounter with Wendy hadn’t riled her up. Not at all. It was the next few weeks and the following months that shook Irene’s heart.

Irene quickly learned that Wendy gave her love away for free. Wendy was the type of person who smiled on Mondays and bought everyone coffee and pastries. She would go out of her way just to help someone in need. She was also the first person to offer a shoulder to cry on if anyone was sad.

One of the things that Irene liked the most about Wendy was that Wendy always gave people her full attention. It didn’t matter if they were listening to monotonous lectures that had been repeated a thousand times. It didn’t matter if they were going over the choreography for the nth time. It didn’t matter if she was listening to someone lament about how painful a break up was.

Wendy always gave her hundred percent.

She was utterly beautiful inside out and Irene would feel her heart clench – People like her were going to get devoured. They would get taken advantage of. Worse, they would always get hurt in the end. And the worst was that they wouldn’t mind it at all.

Irene was right. In the months that followed, Wendy was asked to do too many favours, was used too many times, and was bearing more responsibilities than her tiny shoulders could ever handle. Wendy, please do my calculus assignment, it’s too difficult! Wendy, will you buy us a drink at the bubble tea shop in Gangnam? Wendy, can you lend me some money? Wendy, won’t you treat us to some tteokboki at TteokbokiTown?

Wendy said yes to any request and it irked Irene to no end.

Wendy, can you-

“Stop!” Irene barked, glaring at the person asking a favour from Wendy.

She had enough of this. The rest of trainees turned towards her, shocked at her sudden outburst. Even Seulgi who was in the midst of a difficult choreography stared at her aghast. The person’s features contorted in fear as Irene continued to glare at her.

“Wendy’s not someone you can dump your on.  So stop treating her like she’s your dog.”

Anyone could detect the rising anger in the quietness of her voice. Obeying it like a command, the trainee walked out of the practice room, head lowered shamefully. Irene’s eyes flickered to Wendy, who had her head bent, staring at the ground. Wendy was fidgeting, fingers fumbling with the hem of her shirt.

“Get back to whatever you were doing,” Irene told the rest of them.

Most of them were embarrassed, since everyone save for Irene and Seulgi had asked a favour from Wendy before. They quietly went back to their routines, some doing scales and others dancing.

The next day, more rumours spread about Irene – the girl everyone was talking about. Words like , princess, and floated around her and she said nothing. Once was enough.

Wendy approached her carefully, with small steps and shoulders framed in. She looked even smaller than she already was.

“Irene-ssi, can I talk to you for a second?”

Her words were a mix of stutters and messy Korean. With eyebrows creased into frustration, the tiny girl struggled to get her point across.

“You- You told them off yesterday and I’m so sorry. Because of me, everything’s ruined. There are people talking- saying bad things about you and it’s my entire fault. You didn’t have to do that. I’m thankful. No one – not a single person – has ever done that for me. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to stop them from saying bad things. I can’t help you and I am so sorry.”

“They’ve been saying bad things for a long time now, so it’s fine.”

“No!” the girl protested, “It’s not! It’s mean and you’re a really kind person. You’re nice.”

Irene’s heart bled for this girl, who wore her heart on her sleeve. This girl, who said whatever came to mind, was too sincere and genuine.

Irene shook her head adamantly, blurting, “I’m not.  So don’t treat me nicely.”

Sad eyes that reminded her of Seulgi stared at her. There was a kind of longing in Wendy’s eyes, like she yearned for something terribly. Her fingers were all fiddly and she looked like she wanted to say something badly, like if she didn’t say it soon, it’d burst out of her.

“That’s not true! If you were not, you wouldn’t help me! You have a good heart.”

“Don’t treat me well. Don’t associate yourself with me. You’ll regret it,” Irene spat.

It wasn’t hard to figure out why Wendy would regret it. Seulgi, who had been Irene’s friend for a very long time, was also isolated from the rest, unable to blend in, like two immiscible liquids. It was the consequence of being with Irene. Irene knew she was more of a burden. Like a quicksand. Like a nasty viscous liquid which would Wendy in and she would never be able to get out.

“You’re different from the rest of them,” Wendy said matter-of-factly, to which Irene raised an eyebrow at.

“All the more you shouldn’t come near me.”

“All the more I feel like being friends with you,” Wendy said stubbornly, crossing her arms.

“It’s tempting to sin, but that doesn’t mean you should.”

Wendy couldn’t reply after that. With her jaw slack, she stayed silent, like she ran out of words to say, like she forgot all the Korean she had been practicing. She turned away, walking away from Irene, fading away.

Irene only smiled like she won a battle.

(Really, she lost and it left a bitter taste on her tongue.)

///

Wendy proved to be the girl Irene looked up to when she appeared the next day, sliding her hand into Irene’s own shamelessly. Irene immediately pulled her hand away, flinching. Clasping her hands together, Wendy looked at Irene with dull eyes that made her feel guilty. Nevertheless, she turned and began to walk away.

“Irene!” Wendy called out, garnering the attention of all the other trainees bustling in the hallway.

Alarmed, Irene flashed a glare at Wendy.

What the hell are you doing?

Murmurs all around filled her ears. Irene’s heart jumped, watching Wendy’s expression turn sour.

“I want to be friends with you.”

The statement shocked the whole hallway. All the murmurs stopped and everyone was waiting for Irene’s reaction. It made Irene mad. They were predators waiting for their prey to make a move.

Irene stepped closer towards Wendy, invading her personal space. It seemed like the rest of the trainees held their breath, watching carefully for the princess’ next move.

“Stay away from me if you know what’s best for you.” she snarled, looking down at Wendy.

Wendy didn’t even blink. Irene felt a gentle hand on her forearm and it took her a few seconds for her to jerk her arm away, recoiling and sneering. Wendy’s lips pursed for a second, then moved apart, mumbling something under her breath. Her whisper made Irene freeze, throat tightening up, heart strings tugged on.

Her legs felt heavy and she forced herself to walk away from Wendy. There was a storm brewing in her head but she clenched her fists, nails sinking into her skin. With stiff shoulders, she walked into the washroom, locking herself in a cubicle. Only then, her legs gave out.

Splayed out on the floor, her chest felt tight and she bit her inner lip.

Wendy had whispered, “Save me.”

///

Nothing changed. In the span of the next few months, things remained the same. Practice continued on as per normal. No one in Irene’s trainee group debuted yet. Things were tense, for there was an announcement as to the trainees chosen to debut in the coming weeks.

Irene danced like she never danced before. She needed to make up for her lacking voice with powerful dances and strong charisma. She thanked her stars, for she had a body which adapted well and could execute fluid and controlled moves.

It was hard to survive in here. That was the reality of her world. Sink or swim. There was no in between. Having a pretty face only got you past the auditions. Now that she was a trainee, she realized pretty faces were aplenty. It was more of a prerequisite to pass the auditions. In order to succeed, you needed to have a good body, talent, and a whole lot of luck.

Furthermore, rumours about her increased even more since the incident. It was okay though. Nothing hurt. It wasn’t anything painful. They didn’t mean a single thing to her anyway.

Bleak.

It was all the same.

But frequent glances and shoulder brushes made Irene think that maybe, it wasn’t all the same. The girl who lit up worlds with her smile was always looking at Irene even though she herself was surrounded by people. The girl who baked cookies and packed them prettily for everyone always slotted an extra cookie in Irene’s pack. The girl who gave out bottles of water during dance practices secretly left water bottles by Irene’s bag, making sure she would never be thirsty after dance practice.

Wendy was so frustrating.

Sighing, Irene flicked the water off her hands after washing them, too lazy to use the dryer. The door opened gently, and the girl who had been driving Irene crazy stepped in. Irene’s eyes flickered towards her, but soon averted away.

“Irene unnie,” Wendy greeted, bowing a respectful ninety degrees.

“Don’t address me like that. We’re not friends,” she snapped.

“Are you and Seulgi friends then?”

It was an unexpected question that Irene couldn’t manage to answer.

Seulgi and Irene never talked much. They ate together, practised together, and went to school together. All in silence. There was an understanding between the both of them that ran deep.

A companion, that was what Seulgi was.

But Irene didn’t answer Wendy’s question. She was thrown off guard, too taken aback to form a coherent response.

All of a sudden, Irene heard voices outside the washroom. Her heart panicked, and she grabbed Wendy’s wrist, dragging her into a random cubicle forcefully. She slammed the door shut, turning the lock.

Wendy’s eyes were wide and she parted her lips, wanting to ask Irene why she pulled her into the cubicle. Upon seeing this, Irene pressed her palm against Wendy’s lips, eyes telling her to keep quiet.

The door of the washroom opened. Giggles and breathless laughter filled the washroom.

“Yah, Eunbi, do you have your makeup bag with you? My eyeliner’s smudged.”

“Why don’t you ever bring your own? You’re a lazy , Seolhyun.”

“Yunaaaa, Eunbi’s being mean.”

“Eunbi, just lend it to her.”

“You better bring your own next time.”

Wendy’s hand grabbed on to Irene’s, tugging at it rather desperately. Irene lowered her hand, confused as to what Wendy was trying to say. Wendy shook her head like a child, mouthing I couldn’t breathe! to Irene. She then proceeded to catch her breath, breathing as quietly as she could.

“Did you guys hear about the trainee in group D?”

“Which one?”

“Ah, Irene?”

“You know her?”

“No, I have a friend in group D who knows her.”

Wendy, whose eyes were wide, exchanged looks with Irene. Irene only shook her head slowly.

“Did you hear what she did to Wendy?”

“Who’s Wendy?”

“Some trainee in group D. I heard that she’s really nice. She wanted to be friends with Irene but Irene was a total . Rude as .”

“She’s really pretty though.”

“Pretty?” A scoff. “She’s a . She probably did most of the guys by now.”

Wendy looked enraged. Her fists were clenched. Irene thought that she might have caused a scene if not for Irene’s forceful restraint.

“Eh? I heard she rejected all of them!”

“s like her don’t go for relationships. They go for one night stands.”

“Heol. She definitely looks like the type.”

Irene tightened her hold on Wendy, staring at her.

Let it go.

Wendy only sighed softly, eyebrows furrowing, lips pursed.

“And all the brainless guys go crazy over her. All guys are the same. They only want to pretty girls.”

“Eunbi, you only want to handsome guys too.”

“Would you an ugly ?”

“Seolhyun-ah, you have lipstick on your teeth.”

“Thanks unnie!”

“Break ending in ten, guys. Let’s go.”

The door opened and closed. Irene breathed out a sigh, finally letting go of Wendy. She leaned against the cubicle wall, exhausted.

“Why didn’t you stop them?” Wendy asked, like she couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that Irene literally let people gossip behind her back.

“It’s fine.”

“Why do you always back down?”

“People believe what they want to believe. I can’t control their thoughts.”

Irene had heard tons of words before. But she had never felt so drained. She thought that even if she slept her life away, she would still be tired.

“Lean on me.”

What?

Irene looked up at Wendy, whose eyes were shining brightly with determination and strength.

“Lean on me,” she repeated.

Wendy’s words affected her strongly, like a command or a spell. She found herself leaning into Wendy, burying her face into the crook of her neck. Gentle arms slipped around her waist, surrounding her with warmth. All the weight on her shoulders gone, she sighed into Wendy’s warmth.

Wendy felt like home.

Where she could just be herself and not have a single care in the world.

It was all so noisy outside.

She relished in Wendy’s warmth a bit longer before separating, pulling away from Wendy. Wendy smiled softly and suddenly, everything’s alright.

“It’s noisy and annoying, isn’t it?”

Her hands flew to cup Irene’s ears, drowning out any sound and all Irene could hear was her own heartbeat. Irene blinked in surprise, looking at the girl with questi