“so, to sum it all up, you, Kim Jongin, wander around the basketball locker room trying to find me, but you instead happened to come across with THE Wu Yifan in his glory, and you accidentally set your eyes upon his, and I quote, his pinkish and bulging and what was the other adjective again?—ah yes—long d—“

“OH MY GOD! s-stop it Sehun. Do not ever utter the “d” word. I’m trying to pray to the god of innocence to forgive me and purify me again for I have gravely sinned—“

“. Seriously, how old are you? Five?”

“I’m nineteen and it is not an excuse to let my eyes see the utterly fascinating and wonderful creation of a gorgeous’ male’s privates—and what the heck am I saying. Oh my God I need to—“

“Shut up” Sehun rolled his eyes. “stop being so stupid. You have the same anatomy for goodness’ sake. What? You haven’t seen your own for twenty years?”

Jongin pointed an accusing finger at his dumb bestfriend. “It is not an excuse Oh Sehun. The fact remains that I’ve seen it and my eyes need purification so I’m praying and meditating here.”

“you were sputtering praises about his fascinating , stupid. And why are you meditating anyway? I bet Wu Yifan’s is on repeat in your miniscule brain—what?” Sehun blinked at Jongin’s dumbfounded expression.

“how did you—how can you read my mind? Did you develop telepathy during summer break?”

Sehun rolled his eyes for the second time, judging Jongin and questioning his life choices. “Just continue praying to the god of innocence. I have to pray to the god of stupidity so he will not rub your stupidity on me. You’re stupid enough for the both of us.”

Kim Jongin, as what people describes him, is an innocent boy. A little bit dumb, or just plain dumb according to Sehun. Gorgeous and y according to the girls. Gorgeous—yes, y—yes, and a little bit stupid—yes, according to Baekhyun, his other friend. He was raised in a conservative family, embedded in him the century old teachings of grace and purity, kindness and humility (and perhaps idiocy according to Oh Sehun).  While other boys were busy ogling at y magazines and steamy videos, he was busy reading books. While other boys were comparing their adventures on one night stands, he was browsing ballet performances on the internet. He would shut his senses when his bestfriend, Sehun would teasingly show him something inappropriate and impure.

Which would have been enough countermeasure had he not caught a glimpse of a magazine inside his bag, when he was about to close said bag. It was a prank so old that Jongin knew Sehun was the perpetuator. “One of these days, I will full on throttle him.” He mumbled heatedly.

“are you sputtering witchcraft again?” Baekhyun asked. Glancing at Jongin’s bag and chuckled at the boy’s obvious discomfort. “Just join us to the dark side already. I guarantee Sehun will stop pestering you with those y magazines—“

Jongin’s cheeks colored with exasperation.“Oh never. That will never happen. I will never, for the love of God, set my eyes on those—those—impure creations of humanity. Those were the embodiment of the very thing my family’s legacy is trying to avoid, and as a boy who belongs to the house of Kim, I will never breach such honor for which—“

Baekhyun cackles so hard he had to support himself by hanging on Jongin’s shoulder “your reaction never gets old.”

Jongin was not amused and was about to throttle Baekhyun instead when the latter managed to scatter away from his grasp. “One day I will—I will—“

“you will what? Kill us? Hang us? Oh you wouldn’t do that. Those thoughts were the embodiment of the very thing your family is trying to—“

Jongin tried to catch him again, but Baekhyun had managed to escape yet again and raised his hands up in surrender. “okay. Okay. Don’t. I have a date with Chanyeol and I certainly do not want to look like a buffalo had tried to attack me. Go find Sehun and strangle the life out of him, utter some witchcraft or buy a voodoo doll and attack it with needles. For now I have to go. Goodbye Jongin. Send me a picture of a petrified Sehun. My cat would like to see that.”

With a flourish of his hand, Baekhyun scampered out of the school gate.

Jongin sighed and set out to find his bestfriend, listing off the places he was sure Sehun wouldn’t set his foot into. With a particular place in his mind, he briskly walked towards the basketball teams’ locker room.

He opened the double doors, and set his eyebrows into a deep frown. Oh, Sehun would get an earful from him. He would certainly get it.

The place was surprisingly empty. Jongin hesitated for a moment, remembering only then than it was Wednesday, and there’s no basketball practice every Wednesday. Disappointed, he was about to turn back when he heard a distinct noise of someone opening a locker. Smirking, he sought to find the source, convinced that it was Sehun.

He rounded a corner and shouted at the top of his lungs. “YAH! OH SEHUN—YOU----OH—“

His voice faltered upon seeing someone not Sehun. The man was looking at him incredulously; dark eyes a bit intense, blond hair still dripping wet. He was gorgeous and tall and , holding a pair of black jeans—

Wait—wait—the man is .

He is .

.

On his birthday suit.

.

Oh my--

Jongin stood rigid at the sudden realization.

The man raised his eyebrows, “what do you want?” he asked, unfazed, as if him was the most natural thing Jongin could witness.

Jongin, opening his mouth only to utter ugly, gasping sound, lowered his eyes unintentionally and regretted it instantly.

His gaze dropped at the portion below the giant’s abdomen, staring at it with wild, bulging eyes. Oh..this is what it looks like at this angle…he’s big…it’s kinda pinkish and bulging and…long and…oh God. Horrified at his train of thoughts, yet still couldn’t stop staring. He could feel himself trembling and blushing from the roots of his hair down to the tip of his toes.

“satisfied?” the man chuckled shamelessly.

Jongin snapped his head up and blushed even more at the look of amusement on the man’s face. He opened his mouth to retort, but instead of forming proper, coherent words, he screamed at the top of his lungs and bolted right out of the spot, reached the double doors and pushed it open with so much force the doors bounced back at the wall.

Kim Jongin had seen a boy today. And stared at it. And no. he didn’t just describe it with positive adjectives. And no. he isn’t thinking about it as he screamed and ran towards the front gate. And no. he hadn’t breached the Kim’s household code of purity. No. no. no.

Jongin took his pen and jutted down lines and incoherent words on his notebook, suppressing himself from crying tears of blood when he sometimes caught glimpses of the words floating around the noisy, crowded canteen.

 Deck of cards,

 cocky ahjushhi,

a motor’s shafting,

pennies on the floor

He closed his eyes and whimpered; consider punishing himself the moment he was home for his dirty thoughts and giving impure meanings of otherwise innocent words. The god of innocence is angry at him now, he knows, and he could not forgive himself for breaching the century old family laws. He would most definitely ask his mom later about the ritual of purification and maybe hide himself in a cave, grow his hair out and offer it to the gods.

“He looks like a crazed lunatic on crack. What happened to him? Did he find out that witchcraft and voodoo dolls are not effective at all?” Baekhyun asked, eyeing Jongin who was now tugging his hair with both hands. He looked like a blushing, mad scientist.

“what crap are you talking about? Nevermind. That idiot --“ Sehun threw a disgusting look at Jongin who was now mumbling words that sounded like Latin. “he saw, for the first time in his nineteen years of existence, what was it again?—ah yes-- the utterly fascinating and wonderful creation of a gorgeous’ male’s privates—and couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

“OH MY GOD OH SEHUN, I CERTAINLY AM NOT THINKING ABOUT—OWW!”

“SHUT UP you idiot!” Sehun kicked him again, making Jongin wail in pain. “Do not make a stupid scene when I’m around, or I will sever my ties with you.”

Baekhyun was laughing so hard, tears were actually falling down his cheeks. He pats Jongin’s shoulder sympathetically, eyes still glowing with mirth “Welcome to the dark side Jongin. Shall I read to you the dark side’s rite of passage? It comes with a book of witchcraft and voodoo dolls.”

Jongin covered his ears, while Sehun raised his hands up in defeat. “why am I friends with the both of you? I have never questioned my life choices until today.”

“Who was the guy anyway?” Baekhyun asked, ignoring Sehun’s mantra.

“Wu Yifan.” Sehun answered, and upon hearing his name, Jongin choked on his breath—if that is even possible—and blushed.

Baekhyun blinked in disbelief. “THE Wu Yifan?”

Sehun rolled his eyes. “Yes. THE Wu Yifan.”

“What’s with the “THE” he’s not a national treasure for heaven’s sake—“

“Oh Jongin, you are so oblivious of anything aside from your books and preservation of your purity that you do not know the legend that is Wu Yifan—“

“Really? Wu Yifan? The basketball captain with splendid figure and—“

“OH MY GOD BYUN BAEKHYUN! ARE YOU CHEATING ON CHANYEOL?”

“LOWER YOUR VOICE KIM JONGIN OR I WILL BURY YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS—“

“THE WU YIFAN?”

“Yes?”

Three heads turn at the source of the voice, the man himself towering above them. Wu Yifan- the very same man responsible for Jongin’s waking nightmares-- was staring at Baekhyun with mild confusion. “Did you call me?”

“Ah no no…we were just…talking about your club and yeah…”Baekhyun stuttered, clearly intimidated by the man.

Jongin would have find Baekhyun’s discomfort funny had it not been related somehow to his ongoing predicament. He stared at the man, his thoughts going awry as the events of yesterday came rushing back. Unconsciously, he roamed his gaze from Yifan’s foot to his knees, then up, up, up, and let his eyes settle at the fly of his pants. Even when clothed, Jongin could make out the tent in between Wufan’s thighs and he could imagine what was inside. Pinkish and bulging and long---

“earth to Kim Jongin.”

A slap on his shoulder startled him, the look on Baekhyun’s face made him realize that he was obviously and shamelessly gawking at the object of his restless thoughts and he suddenly looked up. Upon seeing Wu Yifan’s smirk, Jongin knows, Jongin knows that he knows that he was staring and it made his blood creep up on his face in a maddening blush and made him utter a sound that resembled like a dying whale and decided right then and there that the space below the table is the perfect place to hide or maybe die.

And so he slide down from his seat and curled himself below the table. Asking in a shaking tone “dear dear God please let the floor swallow me whole because this is embarrassing and a clear dishonor to the code of purity and to the god of inno—“

“You’re cute”

“—cence—no I’m not cu—what?!” Jongin looked up, yelping in pain when his head hit the underside of the table. Wu Yifan was crouching down, looking at him with his signature smirk and amusement in his eyes. Jongin blushed even more. He did not expect that. Nope. Not at all.

Before he could even speak, Wu Yifan stood up.

“I’m sorry hyung for letting you witness the stupidity of Kim Jongin.” Jongin could hear Sehun say. He punched Sehun’s knee, but his bestfriend retorted with a kick. He again, wailed in pain.

When Wu Yifan walked out, Jongin breathed in relief, at last, he can go out to face the world with his head held high—or so he imagines when a force yanked him out of the table instead. He was met with an unimpressed Oh Sehun. A look he somehow mastered for nearly nineteen years.

“I told you—I told you not to make a scene when I’m around didn’t I?”

And the whole of the canteen stared at the scene before them, Sehun strangling the life out of Jongin and Baekhyun laughing at the sidelines.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------