*Mean's POV*

It’s already a week since Kim’s mother died in an accident. I still remember that night like it was yesterday.

That night, his father intervened care of the funeral thing, while Kim’s brother busy calming the relatives who gathered at the hospital. Kim secretly hold my hand, without saying anything, just smell my hair blankly until dawn. He didn’t cry though I see his red eyes hold the tears.

Somehow, I find it hard to forget his expression like that time.

It's been a week, but he still look like Kim at that night.

This afternoon we hang out at Sushi Shin Café, our favorite date place after school. However, his mood is really different with our usual dates. I sit across from him, trying to enjoy the thick noodles that have been presented. Black noodles are sold in this shops is one of Kim's favorite food. He's eating noodles while celebrating something, when in mourning, when bored, when upset, when hungry ...

Even now, he still ate greedily.I myself don’t have appetite, only occasionally trying to swallow the meat tasted bland. In fact, usually we can eat more than two boxes of noodles alone, even sometimes to scramble.

"Aahh ...." Kim sipping iced tea and belched once, hard. “Delicious .... as usual."

As usual. That words is stuck in my head. Typically, Kim's mother will cook for his youngest child's favorite dishes every night. Now, they are more often order takeaway from outside, or Aunty Inn will cook for Kim because his father and Kim’s brother Kim rarely come home. I know. I know. Although Kim never told.

"Mean? What happend?"

I snapped. "Uh. Yeah, deliciouse as usual" I said simply. "Kim, have you study for tomorow exam?"

"Not yet," the response with a mouthful of noodles. "I will do it late. We have get the clue from teacher, right."

"Then, I will come to your house tonight, right? We will study together ... and I will cook for dinner. Okay?"

"Aunty Inn will  cook, really." He argued.

"It’s not healt if everyday you eat only the frieds food ... even sometimes with no vegetable." I start with worry. "How can every day you stay up at night, kept waking up late and skipping your breakfast? Unhealthy lunch, and so with dinner ...."

Kim just chuckled. "Be calm, Mean, I have so many food stock."

I frowned. Food stocks which is meant fast snack stored in the kitchen cabinet, but sometime Kim careless and forget to spend it. "Junk food again ... unhealthy .... I will cook spaghetti tonight .. your lovely spaghetti."

I suddenly silent, I have said something wrong. Kim rarely ordered spaghetti everywhere we go. He says, her mother’s spaghetti is the most delicious ever.

However, Kim continued to eat, even take a portion that I left  and still ordered one bowl noodles again without say a thing.

As if no one is wrong.

That's the problem. Kim always act as if there's nothing wrong.

I was exasperated at once awkward to see it. He looks calm, but I knew deep down he would save a thousand and one emotions that  he won’t shows to me, and I’m worried that I will hurt him if ask about it. Day by day, he is become more careless to himself, drawned so deep in the pretending  that he created, like what happend today.

I his hair sticking out of his red baseball cap. His eyes were red from lack of sleep. He become more skinny now and his face so pale, he not have a good rest. "Oh ..." I murmured, more to myself, "I’m sure that you are sleep so late again, right, Kim?"

"Hmmmm." He just raise his eyebrow

"In fact, we