Have you ever wondered why I label this fic often as crack? Well, this part imo does a pretty good job at being crack lmao as usual I went out all the way why OTL
(actually I finished this at 2am and haha I obviously wasn't at my right mind but it turned out just the way I've wanted it /evil smile)
Warning: madness, uncomfortable topics(?)
Upvotes are appreciated if you're lazy to comment!

Jongdae wakes up with a throbbing head – ARGH NOT AGAIN.

“You look really cute when you’ve just woken up.”

2^nd Prince of Far, Far Away immediately comes back to his sense because, following his words, Prince Baekhyun leans in and places a kiss on his cheek.

Okay, this was random…

… but it felt good.

“You think so?” Jongdae finds himself saying relaxed and even snuggles back into the other prince. “You know what? You’re cute all the time. You have this little nose and soft-looking lips and your overall face is so nice and fluffy I have a hard time looking away.”

Baekhyun smiles widely in response and lifts his chin a little so their face align and then their nose brush –

“If you keep romancing, I’ll throw up!”

Thanks to Kyungsoo’s interruption both princes halt. Jongdae’s heart is beating at full speed though, his veins throbbing with suppressed feelings which are about to break out.

“Don’t be so hard on them. I know you like them seeing like that too.” Chanyeol speaks up. “Our princes are really adorable together… It’s so much better than that when they’re on bad terms just because they can’t work their out.”

“I’ve accepted the fact that they’ll end up together but I don’t want to witness their moments. You know, I have this jealousy I can hardly control but I should.”

Hating on everyone henchman has what?

“Why are you jealous, Soo?” Jongdae asks curiously.

Commoner Do Kyungsoo looks his prince in the eye and is that a flush on his face?

“I was a little in love with you when we were younger.”

“What?”

“Oh God, I knew it!”

Those two from Never, Never Land need a moment or two to get themselves together… Prince Jongdae just blinks languidly.

“You’re lying?”

“I am not. You were a cute kid, my prince. You looked and behaved like a little monster but every time you smiled my heart somersaulted.”

(“If your heart had somersaulted, you wouldn’t be alive by now –“

“Not now, Chanyeol, I want to listen to find a reason why not to beat up that henchman later.

“You won’t beat up my henchman!

“Since when is he yours?”)

“So you… love me?” Jongdae clears his throat. “It’s not a problem… Actually it is because I’m obviously in love with this prince next to me but do you really do? I’ve thought you have a hard time being next to me as much as a friend. You always say I’m an idiot.”

“Yes, I say that because I am your friend. I still love you a lot but now only as a friend. As you grew up, my prince, I just fall out of love with you.”

(“… oh, so there are no lingering feelings now, huh? There better not be or else –“

“I repeat myself, my prince, YOU WON’T BEAT UP MY HENCHMAN.”

“He’s never yours in the first place so.”)

Kyungsoo is speaking nonsense. For once, this situation is ridiculous, and secondly there is no such thing you fall out of love with somebody but… Jongdae weirdly understands.

“So you don’t hate Baekhyun for real, right?”

“He annoys me… but he likes you and you’re the one who has to be with him so I guess you have my blessings.” Kyungsoo finishes and even smiles(!) which falters in a millisecond. (Ah, it was too good to be true.) “I have some rules though and one of them is no PDA.”

“As in no PDA for them.” Chanyeol joins back in the conversation while sneakily reaching for the smaller sidekick’s hand. “You have to do PDA with me, I like you.”

Now it’s Jongdae’s moment to be dumbfounded.

“You two… are this close?”

“My loyal knight is willing to give his heart to your loyal and annoying henchman. Isn’t this beautiful?” Baekhyun sighs then smirks at the other prince. “I hope they get together so I can have you all for myself!”

Oookay, things are starting to get a little out of control.

Kyungsoo flushes even deeper(!!) but doesn’t pull his hand away from the taller’s grab.

“We’re not together… yet. Actually I’m still debating if I should give this a chance or not.”

“You should.”

(Chanyeol does a fist pump with his free hand.)

“I agree with Baekhyunnie.” Jongdae nods. (Chanyeol breaks out into a loud cheer.) “Knight Chanyeol is a great guy. Sometimes I don’t like him because he’s hogging you up and always knows what to do unlike me but as your romantic partner, I approve him. If we go back to Far, Far Away, I’ll sing at your wedding.”

Kyungsoo still looks unsure but the thought makes him smile. (Something is obviously fishy here.)

“What about you two? When will you two get married?” Chanyeol pipes up.

Jongdae gapes. He hasn’t thought about that yet.

Thankfully Baekhyun has.

“For a while I don’t want to get married… It’ll be enough if Jongdae stays by my side. I want to show him the world and eat delicious things without cucumber and sing together more and see him in fewer clothes because that way we’ll be even –“

“But I want to go back to Far, Far Away.”

Baekhyun inhales so sharply, the two sidekicks - subtly holding hands the whole time – get out of their Cloud 9 and listen.

This is a situation.

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun tilts his head to the side. “You’re coming with me, Jongdae. I won’t let you go. Ever.”

“I want to be with you too… but I also want to continue living in Far, Far Away. That is my home.” Jongdae smiles. “My parents were bad for sending me away but I know they want me back… I’m not sure what they’ll say about us but I want to try. I want to bring you home, Baekhyun, and show you to them. I want to show them I’ve found my fairytale.”

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol coo in unison.

Baekhyun seemingly almost swoons by that choice of words and gulps before saying with a blush on his face:

“That sounds nice… but what if they throw you out? My parents told me to get out as soon as they saw me make out with Chanyeol.”

…

Huh?

Kyungsoo looks at the tall knight, currently lowering his head like crazy, while snarling.

“You’ve made out with that blowfish?!”

“My prince complained he has no one to practice kissing with… and seriously, look at him! How could you say no to that face? And after we were done, I have to say that practice was needed. He almost bit my tongue off.”

(Have I mentioned things are getting out of control?)

Prince Jongdae is shocked as well.

“You… kissed Chanyeol?”

“I wasn’t sure if what I feel is real or just a figment of my imagination. You know, most of the girls I’ve known were bad to me and I had to make sure I hadn’t changed team because of that.” Baekhyun admits while biting his lower lip. “Chanyeol was at hand 24/7… and after we were done, I have to say I regret it. Chanyeol is sloppy.”

(“Ya, take that back. You’re using too much teeth!”

“Then we’ll have a problem. I’m a biter too.”

“… I’m sure we can work that out with practice, Soo, don’t worry.)

Jongdae really doesn’t want to voice a particular question out but at the end he miraculously does:

“I’m a bad kisser too? I haven’t kissed anybody except for you and Sehun. I must be.”

“You’re not bad, you’re just inexperienced… and I like that.” Baekhyun smirks and lifts a hand to cup the other prince’s face. “Okay, I guess I agree to go with you to Far, Far Away. I’m not sure your parents will like me but if they don’t, there’s still the world waiting for us. We’re going to be really happy together, Jongdae. I’m going to make you really happy.”

2^nd Prince of Far, Far Away feels his heart swell and is about to seal that promise with a kiss when he remembers something else.

“What about Princess Sunyoung? I want to save her. She doesn’t deserve to rot in a castle because I’ve found you. You’re great and all but –“

“If you promise to choose me from now on, no matter whom we meet or what awaits us, I’ll even help you.” Baekhyun chuckles. “Chanyeol is smart. He packed one book of the How to Save the Princess of Your Life series. I guess it’s the 5^th one.”

Chanyeol shakes his head.

“It’s actually the 6^th one. The 5^th is one is lame and good-for-nothing. Which princess lives alone because she wants to, huh? Ridiculous.”

“You’re pretty useful.” Kyungsoo acknowledges with an affectionate pat at the knight’s head. The latter leans into the touch.

Jongdae leans closer to his love and, before Baekhyun could drop another inappropriate comment, hugs the prince tightly to his chest.

“I’m so happy I’ve found you. I really wanted to be in love, you know? It doesn’t matter you’re a boy or that you’re a prince too or that you’re so shameless sometimes Jonghyun hyung is innocent next to you. It’s just that you are you. And you matter to me.”

Prince Baekhyun hums into Jongdae’s neck satisfied.

“If I’d known that sooner… if I’d known all I have to do is not lock the door in the inn in the middle of nowhere, I surely wouldn’t have asked that wicked witch to –“

“Okay, the show is over!”

Boa appears again with a smack of her fingers. This wasn’t as funny as she has thought… but it was interesting. And the four idiots obviously needed it. (Regardless to how awkward they’ll feel some hours later.)

“Look, the pretty witch is here!” Chanyeol announces.

“Yes, I am. If this goes on, I’ll get to hear more of your private things and I’m not curious of that.” The Witch of the North grimaces and squats in front of 2^nd Prince of Far, Far Away. “He’s the one, huh?”

2^nd Prince of Never, Never Land clings onto Jongdae harder so the latter simply nods.

“I understand now why you said it’s complicated. But see? You could solve it… And you two are quite matching by the way. Baekhyun-a is just as much of a fool as you are. Jongdae, if your mother wants to throw you out, just tell her I can take her magic back, okay? I doubt you two can find other people to get together with and I don’t want to interfere with love affairs anymore. My own affairs are enough.”

“Alright. But how should I tell you?”

“Think of me… but only if it’s really an emergency. My boyfriend doesn’t like it when there are other people in my head.” Boa sighs out loud. “Why do you have such a good heart? I should have ended your life. Witches remain young because they take away young lives like yours. I ridiculously quickly loose my beauty if I keep this up and if the witch community hears this, they’ll ban me for another year. If you happen to meet any other witch, don’t even mention me, got it?”

“Got it. Thanks noona!”

Jongdae would hug the witch but 1) Baekhyun still doesn’t let him go and 2) Boa doesn’t seem that affectionate type.

And she’s nowhere to seen in a second anyway.

“She’s gone. Too bad she was really pretty to look at… Well, not as pretty as Kyungsoo-“ Chanyeol slaps a hand over his mouth. “Why did I say that out loud?!”

Instead of his unfamiliar, slightly red face earlier, Kyungsoo is now so pale; it’s like all the blood from his head has flowed back into his veins to cool him down.

“Nobody says anything. For now, for the rest of the journey… got it?”

Jongdae doesn’t get why his panic for but then he remembers the information-filled last five minutes or so and whines.

Oh Heavens above, he said everything he was afraid or didn’t want to say! Not to mention the others… Kyungsoo was in love with him? Baekhyun made out with Chanyeol? Chanyeol is pining after Kyungsoo? What is this mess?!

“Stop looking like that. We won’t talk it out.” Kyungsoo continues in a strained voice. “The same goes with you, blowfish.”

Said blowfish is just lying on the ground, face planted first into the cool ground of the cave. He doesn’t look like he has anything to say for like the rest of his life.

“Baekhyun?”

“Asdfghjkl.”

“I interpret, “Not now, Jongdae”.”

“Leave it, knight.” Kyungsoo sighs and scratches the back of his head.

Since Baekhyun is obviously too mortified to even exist at the moment, 2^nd Prince of Far, Far Away turns to his henchman.

“As I’ve warned you we won’t talk about the last five minutes or so.”

“I get it but… was it because of the soup? There was some magic in it?”

“She had just probably witched us away to say embarrassing things and humiliate ourselves in front of her so she can have fun.”

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow at him.

“Are you sure?”

Kyungsoo loses his pale complexion for a millisecond but then is back to being the no-feelings-cold-as-rock he wants to be. (But miserably fails 70% of the time. Sorry, ‘Soo.)

“What else could be? We don’t say… embarrassing things just because we feel like. And think, do you feel the urge to say anything right now?”

There is definitely some magic, Jongdae ponders in thought as they start to gather their things. But on the other hand what he has said was quite on point – he wants to go back to Far, Far Away no matter how hard he’s bashing his parents and he does dislike Chanyeol sometimes because of his smart and Baekhyun… Jongdae wants to be with him, even if he hasn’t said it out before.

“Do you feel okay?”

2^nd Prince of Never, Never Land could get himself together in the meantime because now he’s examining the other’s prince leg.

“Yes, Boa noona healed me.”

“You scraped your knee.” Baekhyun snorts. “You lazy witch, you had one job.”

Jongdae chuckles and puts a hand on the other on his knee.

“It’s okay. That hurt a lot more when you punched me in the face.”

Baekhyun flinches at the touch and stands up.

“Can you stand on your own?”

“Why not?” 2^nd Prince of Far, Far Away tries but trips on the first pebble in his way. Beautiful. “I need some help I guess.”

Now Prince Baekhyun is the one to chuckle and without a second thought, scoops the other one up into his arms.

Jongdae feels his face heating up as he puts his hands around Baekhyun’s neck.

“You… You’re carrying me bridal style, you know.”

“I’ve told you I don’t want to marry you for a while. You don’t have to worry.”

2^nd Prince of Never, Never Land says the sentence above quite relaxed but his shy eyes tell otherwise.

“You know what Boa noona has done to us, don’t you?”

Jongdae clearly remembers the unfinished sentence “if I’d known all I have to do is not lock the door in the inn in the middle of nowhere, I surely wouldn’t have asked that wicked with to” what exactly?

Baekhyun sighs.

“Right, there is no point in keeping secrets anymore. We’ve told everything after all… We’ve had one of her truth-potions. It makes you say what you have on mind but just the truth. On the contrary of what your henchman thinks, there was no magic in the rightness of our words. I know because once I asked that witch to use it on somebody and… well, let’s just I hadn’t got anything on my birthday.”

So all of that mess… was the truth?

2^nd Prince of Far, Far Away doesn’t hesitate and cuddles closer.

“Then you have to know that I mean what I’ve said.”

“I know… and you know I mean what I’ve said too, right?” When the prince in his arms hums in agreement, Baekhyun drops a kiss to his forehead. “You dare to disappear from my sight just once more and after I saved you again, I’ll tie us together.”

“But then both of us get lost.”

“Our sidekicks will be there to save our asses.”

“You annoy Kyungsoo.”

Baekhyun grins.

“But there is Chanyeol!”

Jongdae narrows his eyes. Speaking of…

“So why did you make out with your knight exactly?”

2^nd Prince of Never, Never Land sighs in satisfaction.

“You’re finally jealous.”

“You’re in trouble, mister.”

“Oh, come on. You’re too happy to be with me.”

That wicked witch and her potions.

(Thanks, Boa, by the way.)