Shinhye POV

No. Just no. 

If this is what a double date is like, then please count me out for the rest of my life. I'm sorry, I know that's a huge exaggeration and I shouldn't generalize it like that. Instead I should say, going out or just being near a person like Leeyoung makes me want to crawl under a rock and sleep forever. And cry a little. Okay cry a lot. 

I can't believe someone who I literally just met days ago punched at my deepest insecurites and list down my insignificant secrets all in a probably unsanitary public restroom. I admit I already didn't like Yonghwa's ex from his story but this is just something else. My lower lip still trembled slightly as I breathed in to push down the urge to cry. Leeyoung and Daehyun were in a conversation I could barely hear as they ate their pizza. Yonghwa, stony-faced, sipped his soda staring straight ahead. And straight ahead had to be Leeyoung sitting directly in front of him. Of course. 

He had expressed strongly his hatred for her time and time again. But his expression now said another, it was calm. I couldn't find anger, well annoyance maybe but hatred was absent. I guess it's true what they say, you never truly get over your first love. 

I admit as I look at Daehyun now, I find him just as a pleasing to look at as I did before. But the longing for him isn't as strong. I'm not anticipating his next move and I'm not interested in what he had to say like when I was absolutely infatuated with him. In this moment, regardless of my harsh situation with Leeyoung, I'm worried about Yonghwa. 

Why is he mad at me? Why is he not talking to me? Or moreso, why isn't he going out of his way to annoy me so I could glare at him like I always did? 

A lot of questions filled my head that if they were to manifest into a physical form, I'd have them pouring out of my ears. 

My eyes rested on Leeyoung who looked incredibly beautiful. She's a catch alright. It's no mystery she had guys like Yonghwa and Daehyun wrapped around her finger. Looks alone doesn't get you a guy or a girl. Your personality needs to attract and her confidence just reeled in boys in a snap. I avoided everyone for the longest time in the library. But I remembered as I looked at Daehyun, well not everyone. 

Then I took a quick glance at Yonghwa. Not anymore. 

I rested my cheek on my elbow and before I could sigh like a hopeless fool, I remembered Leeyoung ordering me not to look sad. So I chose to look indifferent. It's the best I could do after all. 

"Eat," a low voice woke me up from my thoughts. It came from my right and it was so soft I wasn't sure if I even heard anything at all. Yonghwa sighed and pushed two boxes of personal pan pizzas to me. "It'll get cold if you don't eat it," Yonghwa told me. 

I unconsciously smiled, "you're talking to me." 

He furrowed his eyebrows and turned away muttering, "just because I'm mad it doesn't mean I don't care. So eat." 

I nodded though he couldn't see me. I opened a box and began to eat. It's amazing how food could affect my mood so greatly. I instantly felt happier as the cheese stretched from the pizza slice to my mouth. "Why are there two boxes?" I asked him after devouring a slice.

"He said you're a fatass," Daehyun answered for him. I looked at him surprised with puffed cheeks full of cheese and pepperoni. "You look like a cute chipmunk Shinhye," he added. 

That was honestly the first compliment I ever received from Daehyun. I expected the regular symptoms to come at me whenever I had any interaction with him. The inability to talk, those hyperactive butterflies inside of my stomach going in a frenzy and all I'd see was him. But none occurred. I did however feel nervous and my cheeks heated. Maybe I actually was pretty in Daehyun's eyes, at least now I guess. I can't help but feel a little giddy that my first love told me I looked cute. He even smiled at me as I chewed and I actually never thought this scenario could exist. Daehyun and I eating pizza together at the zoo on a date... with other people.

I returned his smile before swallowing down my food, "thank you I think." I heard a tsk noise coming from Yonghwa's side as I continued to eat. "I'll hurry and bring this box home for later so we could explore more," I promised. 

"No it's fine you don't have to rush yourself," Daehyun assured me. His consideration motivated me to open the second box until Leeyoung insulted me again.

"You eat like a pig." Just grin and bear it Shinhye. I looked at Yonghwa after I finished my last slice and it seemed he was back in his quiet mode again.

---

Yonghwa and I followed behind the other two like earlier as we walked through the aquarium. Daehyun had his arm around Leeyoung's shoulders and from looks they matched the description of a married slash honeymoon couple that Yonghwa described on our practice date. I should have stuck to my prior knowledge that not everything is as it seems.

Yonghwa's hands were stuffed in his jeans pockets and I held onto his arm as an awkward attempt to keep up our act. Halfway through the aquarium neither of us spoke a word and from his body language I should probably drop my hand from his arm. However as soon as I did so, he grabbed my hand, pulling it so that my arm weaved around his and I ended up hugging his arm. We continued to walk with me latched onto him and I couldn't even guess what ran through his head. 

Daehyun and Leeyoung took couple pictures in a photo booth as we waited outside for them. Yonghwa and I hunched over the railing in front of a monkey section. I watched the monkeys swing from branch to branch, some hanging on ropes and a tire swing. I saw two monkeys, one standing behind the other sitting down, picking through their fur on their head and eating whatever it found. I let out a few laughs because I've only seen it happen on T.V. and majority were cartoons. I pointed at them and turned to tell Yonghwa but froze when I caught him staring at me. My smile dropped due to the shock but I smiled again because not only did he stare, I caught him grinning at me. "You're smiling," I stated. 

"Whatever," he looked away again but I'm sure his grin stayed on. After a short moment he spoke again. "You were quiet earlier." 

I scoffed, "me? You're the one giving me the silent treatment all day!" 

"Because you deserved it," he answered like it was obvious. Before I could argue asking him why he continued on, "why were you sad earlier? When you returned with Leeyoung." 

She didn't say I couldn't tell Yonghwa but common sense would say it was implied. At least I know I can't act for because my indifference was still interpreted as sadness. I needed to come up with an answer but it couldn't be the whole truth. So, "what makes a person pathetic?" 

"Where'd that come from?" He turned his body to face me. 

I stared at the ground of the monkey's section relaying Leeyoung's words in my head of how pathetic I was in middle school. "Does liking someone a lot without having their feelings reciprocated make that person pathetic? Even as you try to understand that person and you want to share things in common with them even though you know they don't want to. Is trying really pathetic?" 

It was silent for a brief moment. I thought Yonghwa went back into his silent mode or worse left me. But he still stood beside me when I heard him answer, "yes it does." 

"Of course it does," I chuckled humorlessly. 

"It doesn't mean it's a bad thing," he added. "Love makes you pathetic. It makes you sick and weak and you don't ever want to go to school again once you've been hit." 

"Wow," I deadpanned.

"But it also gives you strength and it lifts you up higher than some trip to the moon can take you. It makes you crazy and drunk with life. It's good and bad. It literally is everything," he said. "That person you fall for is nearly your everything. If it's true enough." 

If there were anything I should take with me from Yonghwa's relationship lessons, it would be this. I could vouch for this because I've felt maybe at least a fraction of it for Daehyun. And I'll admit I do feel sick to my stomach. But I couldn't tell if it were because I'm sick of being in love with someone who will never return my feelings. Or I shouldn't have stuffed my face with pizza so quickly. 

"Is being here with him really difficult for you?" Yonghwa cut into my thoughts. 

"It was," I answered. But not as much as being here with your ex and his girlfriend. 

"I'm uncomfortable too," he admitted. Really? I had no idea from your silent treatment. He took my hands in his and glared at me. I almost forgot he was mad at me now that we're talking again. "Why were you so passive with her?" He asked.

"Huh?" I asked blankly. 

"Leeyoung," he said. "She kept insulting you and you didn't say anything. You didn't yell back or reply in that sarcastic tone of yours that you use with me." 

"You're mad because I wasn't sarcastic?" I asked. "Shouldn't you be more mad that she reminded you how she used you back then? She even added how she would have stayed longer for money." 

"Shinhye I don't give a about what she thinks of me anymore," he stated then squeezed my hands. "But when she kept blabbing on about you smelling like and calling you a gold digger I almost lost it. You're not any of this and yet you pulled me back from having a go at her. And you didn't fight back. You usually fight back with me. Why didn't you fight back with her?" 

He knew how to almost leave me speechless. I kept myself from laughing but I couldn't stop my lips from curling up. "You're full of surprises Yonghwa," I said. "And it's called 'kill them with kindness.' I'm not going to stoop down to her level." And yes. Regardless of what Leeyoung told me back in the restroom that I'm nothing compared to her. I know I'm NOT nothing. But I wasn't going to fight back at that time, I couldn't. Not when my insecurities were out in the open like that. I could have fought with words but what if they were the wrong ones because of my emotional state? 

Patience is key.

He smiled back at me and shook his head slightly. "Don't even compare yourself to her," he chuckled before bringing my hands up to his lips. "You're the one full of surprises Shinhye." 

Ahem. Daehyun cleared his throat to gain our attention. They were done with the photo booth and Leeyoung looked through their pictures. She snapped a few photos of their prints with her phone. "I see you two made up," he said with disappointment in his voice. I don't see why he would be disappointed at that, but ok?

"Yup just a small fight," Yonghwa grabbed my hand in his. "Happens all the time. You guys don't mind waiting for us now?" He led us towards the photo booth without waiting for Daehyun's reply. When we sat inside he said, "not like I care if they leave or not that is." 

I didn't argue with that. 

But we did argue about how to work the damn photo booth. I was pressing buttons and he was pressing my buttons to which resulted in having me yell at him. I shot him a fierce glare but he instead of looking away whenever I did so, he smiled. "Cute," he pinched my cheek gently. I glared even harder then stopped the second I heard the shutter sound. 

"Did you press something? It's working now," I looked over the buttons then up at the camera. I smiled and even threw up a peace sign for two shots. I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders and I shrugged it off quickly. 

"C'mon girlfriend," he put his arm back on me. "Voldemort might look at these pictures." 

I know he was referring to Daehyun but it matched his ex just as fine too. She's as evil as the dark lord after all. I gave in and quite savored the warmth his body gave me. Then he tilted my head to rest on his shoulder. I spoke through my teeth as I smiled, "you're pushing it." 

"This is nothing. It's only a touch," he said. "Just five more shots." 

I continued to smile and even contemplated if I should make a funny face until I felt lips pressed to my temple. For the last three shutters I lifted my head off his shoulder to look up at him. He was staring down at me too. Our faces were in close proximity and he wore the same look as my own. From an outside point of view we'd look indifferent and expressionless. But our eyes held the answer and it was curiosity. That one step I took to believing in his silly motto that "a new love could heal an old one" changed into a leap. I now stood at the edge of a cliff and I didn't know what the bottom had in store for me. I didn't know if I was willing to find out. 

But there was this invisible pull. It kept me from moving away from his body and I couldn't take my eyes off his. Not only could I see my reflection in his orbs but somehow I understood him as though we shared the same thoughts. He wasn't an exact reflection of myself but similar. They were coming closer too.

His eyes, his nose... his lips. 

A/N: I should sleep earlier but my creativity is usually in the middle of the night :c 

On a side note, there's a Korean Festival coming up where I live this Saturday. What kpop groups do you guys listen to? ^^