Everyone has secrets. It’s completely normal. I do have secrets. Some good and some dirty. Some I keep to myself and some I share with my closest friend. But I never expected that I keep my good secrets for myself until now while my dirty secret I accidentally shared with my friend and friend of my friend, who is supposed to be a stranger.

I’ve been locked myself in my room since the last time incident. I’m completely mad, not only because the fact that Seunghyun is Hyunjoong’s friend but also because Hyunjoong hasn’t called me yet since our fight. It’s been three days already. I’m eminently worried Seunghyun will reveal everything or Hyunjoong will know it by himself by noticing Seunghyun’s suspicious act around him. Haven’t they met yet? I’m too scared to face the reality. How am I supposed to holding on with this situation? Our marriage is 98 days away to go.

Yesterday unveiling thing ended up with me shooed Seungri and Seunghyun from my house without spoke any of words. How could I speak after Seunghyun said the words I never want to hear? I was completely terrified and shocked. I remember Seungri shouted out, “Noona, are you getting rid of us? What are you gonna do now? Let’s we find a way out together.” while Seunghyun was just so quiet and kind of helped me by pushing Seungri away. He seemed understand that all I wanted is to be alone. I just need time to think, it’s hard to believe that the rough messy things really happened to me, simultaneously.

Seungri has called for probably a hundred times but I’m too lazy—still do not want to pick it up. I even skip work for two days with ridiculously lame excuses; first day, I called my boss that I couldn’t work because I accidentally ate some food with shrimp in it, and I’m having a mild allergic reaction. I would be alright in about 24 hours. The second day which is today is supposed to be the day I recover but because I’m still not in the mood to do some pile of files I lie about it again; I was about to go to work but because I was wearing stilettos and my body wasn’t strong enough after the recovery so I fell down my stairs and my back sore. Some of my co-workers probably would call and pity me, wondering why the horrible accidents keep coming over me. Actually it’s still better reasons than; my best friend just died, and I’m going to help her mom make the funeral arrangements. That was actually my reason to skip work back days. Well, maybe that still sounds good rather than tell the ing truth; I slept with my fiancee’s friend last night, so I have to call off the wedding, now I need the days off to pull myself together.

I hear someone’s footstep heading to my room. Who else is gonna be beside a guy who has a duplicate key for my house. A few steps closer, I hear a knock.  “Noona, you can’t hide forever.” A voice comes from the other side of the door.

“Go away!” I yell to the door—to Seungri. I seriously don’t want anyone to disturb me today, not even Seungri. I’m glad he doesn’t have strong power like any other guys. In case he’ll bust down the door.

“Noona, why didn’t you answer my call? Look how many times I’ve called. I’ve been waiting for you to pick up. Are you okay?” He says in a dramatically panic mode.

His presence leaves me in curiosity. Did he skip work? “I said, go away. Go work.” This time my voice came calmer than the first time.

“I have my day off. Noona, you can’t hide forever. Let’s talk. I miss you. I wanna see your face. Open the door.” He says with pampered tone. But I’m so not falling for his demand.

By the way, I’m an accountant while Seungri is an architect. Back days in college, we took the French class together, that was the first time I know Seungri. We graduated in the same year, I know I was the one who late. Now he runs a small architecture office. At his young age he already becomes a boss. He coordinates a design team. He’ll works when he’s hired. But he’s also a specialist consultant. He advises business managers and owner prior to building or remodeling. He provides business managers with solutions regarding building design. 

“You don’t wanna see it, trust me.” I tell honesty. He won’t like my ‘pain’ look. I haven’t washed, haven’t brushed my teeth, haven’t shaved, I have dark circles now, just like him, my hair is not presentable, and I may gain weigh because there are snacks in every corner of my room. 

“No way. You always look pretty to me.” I hear the lightly tease in his voice.

“Bull, you’re a liar. I can even count how many times you called me pretty. First, at my 21^st birthday party and it was because I wore a heavy makeup and Armani Prive dress. Second, at my engagement day, you said I looked pretty because it was my special day. Third, when you needed my help to write the concept of your design project. Fourth, when I sent you a vermonster bucket of Ben and Jerry’s. And fifth…”  I stop. I can’t remember the fifth time to be honest. When was the fifth? 

“Wait, there’s no fifth.” I say with injured pride.

“Aish, noona. Why do you have to remember the most unimportant thing in the world?” He asks me, impatiently.

“Yah, Lee Seungri. Of course I remember. I remember because I can count it. I can count it and it’s just four times throughout eight years of our friendship.” I retort, still hardly believe that Seungri only said it four times.

“Okay, next time I’ll more often to call you pretty. Now, just open the damn door.” He knocks down my door violently, attempting to turn the door knob.

“Tell me a good reason for me to open it.”  I randomly say. He must have a brilliant reason if he wants me to see him. I know Seungri is the type of smart-mouth person, but I doubt he can find something interesting enough for me to open the door.

“A reason?” He inquires unsurely.

“Hmmm.” I nod vigorously though he can’t see me through.

“I have three actually.” There is pride in his tone.

“Well, say it.” I grab a cupcake near my bed. As I wait for his answer I chew it down.

“First, I have a handsome face, I bet you don’t want to miss it. Second, I’m wearing new shoes. Remember the derby shoes I wanted last week, I have finally bought it, Yeay.” He really has a smart-mouth, and he might be smart for some business representative but he’s still a dumb for me.

“I am sooo not moving.” I say, so convincing.

“I still have one. It’s about Seunghyun hyung.”  I can hear he says it bitterly.

Okay, the last one is catching my attention. Seunghyun. I really need to know what his thought about this absolute chaos and what he’ll do for the next especially when he really meets Hyunjoong, will he say, ‘Hey, I’ve met your fiancée.’ Then he’ll tell every detail of it. Gosh, I just hope he’ll be gone forever and never comes back. Though I know I’ll never forgive him but deeply inside me want to know him better, because he’s part of my secrets now.

I get up from my bed still with blanket wrap up around my body. I hesitantly reach a doorknob. I poke my head out the door slowly. I see Seungri’s figure as I open the door a bit wider.

“You look like crap, noona. Indeed.” He states, displeasing, right after I show my face to him.

Feel offended by his comment, I nearly close the door but he already holds it using his foot, stopping it from shut.

“Wa—wait.” He stammers.

“Aah, my new shoe, my precious, it’s ruined. Look at it, noona. It’s still new.” He scolds then sighs with heavy disappointment.

He really doesn’t blame me for it, does he? He better not. This time I really open it wide. “I open it for third reason, you babo.” I slam his head quite hard, ignoring him and make my way out.

“AISH, Kwon Yuri!” He caresses the painful spot of his head then follows me to the living room.

We’re sitting now on the living room sofa. I keep my silent gaze on him. He sits down in the opposite seat. He crosses his hands, studying me with a contemplative look.

 “What about it?” I work up the nerves to ask.

“The third reason?” He asks absentmindedly.

“You think?” I roll my eyes.

“Well, where should I start?” He asks with not much interest.

“Any line you want to start.” I reply adamantly, my eyes challenging him.

“He asked me to tell you that he’s sorry,” he begins. “He promise he’ll do anything you told him to including forget your one night stand and not telling Hyunjoong hyung about everything. His lips are sealed.” He continues stridently.

“He said so?” I stare at him dubiously.

“Yeah. So, your wedding is still on.” He nods his head with nothing but seriousness.

“Can he really keep it as secret?” I reluctantly wonder.

“Of course. I know him, he’s reliable. I can guarantee. Besides, he’s your secret now,” He emphasizes ominously. “A dirty little secret between me and you.” He emphasizes the significance with large eyes.

I stare at him, flabbergasted. I just hate the fact Seungri is always right. “Okay, let’s just forget about the secret part. Where is he now?” I immediately change the topic.

“He’s probably on his flight home to Paris.” He frowns, but the sadness vanishes quickly as he says, “It was your entire fault. You’re the one who got rid of him, so he fastens his flight date.”

My face goes blank at his statement. “What? He’s leaving? But isn’t it too fast?”

“Yeah, he already said that he’s not staying, didn’t he?”  He asks softly.

“It wasn’t my fault. It didn’t have any relation with me.” I retaliate, do not want to be the one to blame.

“If only he didn’t sleep with you and you didn’t get rid of him. He probably stayed a little bit longer.”  He says with a sly smile. If this is his idea of a sick joke, it isn’t funny.

I briefly close my eyes in agony. “Yah!”

 “He really feels guilty knowing that you are Hyunjoong hyung’s fiancée, and I told you he’s sorry, he really is.” A serious countenance marks on his face. ”Seunghyun hyung is a great person. That’s why sometimes I couldn’t believe that he seduced you first.” That solemn face suddenly turns into a suspicious stare.

My eyes grow wider. “Yah! Lee Seunghyun!”

“Fine. You both seduced each other.” He nods smugly, creating his own bottom line. This time I hit his head harder.

“Ouch. KWON YURI! Don’t need to be rude.” He boyishly protests.

“How do you know him?” I suddenly wonder, scanning his face for a reaction.

Instead of answer I’m so surprised that Seungri gives me a smile of amusement. “Why do you ask? Have you fallen for him?”

This kid, jinja. “Yah!” I shout to him angrily.

“Calm down, there’s nothing to shout about. I’m just asking.” He responds courteously, his hands still covering his ears.

“Because he ruined my life.” I answer indifferently, turning away from him.

“What?” He breathes with round eyes. He seems can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Your life is already ruined since you’re pretending that you’re still having some strong feeling to Hyunjoong hyung.” He argues.

“Seriously, what’s your problem?” I ask sourly. I never get stiff-Seungri.

“I speak truth. Just call the wedding off.” He instructes firmly, crossing his arms authoritatively as if to purposely intimidate me. The nerve of this guy.

“Didn’t you say that my wedding is still on?” I ask him with perplexity twirling in my voice. Is he joking? Just four days ago

“It was Seunghyun hyung. I’m still against the wedding. ” He says at once, catching me off guard.

“You sound like my father. Why still? Is it because Hyunjoong’s an idiot for still hasn’t called me yet after our fight?” I give him a weak smile and shrug.

“No, because you are. You are an idiot.” There is harshness in his voice.

The horror must have shown on my face because he quickly adds, “You know you’re not happy with him but you still stick up. You’ve been with him for 6 years and you’ve been an idiot for the past 2 years.” It suddenly hit me.

“Yah! Lee Seungri. Do not start.” I threaten him.

“Yeah, you’re an idiot.” He rolls his eyes and major emphasis on the word idiot.

 “Don’t you have any guilt after what you’ve done to Hyunjoong hyung? I care about you, so I tell you this. If you really care about him, let him go. Leave him for his own good.” His harsh voice has disappeared, it’s replaced with his usual gentle demeanor.

I open my mouth to retort back but he has the point. I have no idea what I should say anymore. I try to say some words, but seriously, anything that come out from my mouth at this point and time will most likely make the situation worst.

Seungri isn’t the type to get angry easily. He’s the most calming and caring person I’ve known besides Hyunjoong. So to see him like this, narrowed eyes and deep frowned mouth. This is my first time feeling uncomfortable around him. He must serious about it. He completely doesn’t give his bless for my marriage. Great, no one wants me to be happy.

If I marry Hyunjoong, in the end, I will be happy, won’t I?

***

Now here I am inside my car in front of Hyunjoong’s house. I still have no idea if he’s gonna show up or not. My watch shows me it’s 9.30 PM. He should’ve been home around this time. I rest my head on the steering wheel for awhile and I start thinking all the roughs things I’ve been through.

I already make a decision, no one knows yet not even Seungri. I just pray for heaven I’ve made the right choice. I take a deep breath and release myself from the safety belt. I grab my coat and my handbag. I get out from my car. Feeling uneasy, I practice my speech.

I gulp then let the big sigh. This is my first time I stumble on walk line to Hyunjoong’s house. Gosh, why is it so hard?

I finally stand in his front door. Somehow I pray he isn’t home yet, so I can try another time. I lift my hand to reach the door bell. I’m sad knowing the fact that I successfully ring it. Don’t open up, please. I close my eyes and immerse my face. But then my hope just shatter as I feel the presence of a figure stands next to me. I manage bring him out with just one ring.

I raise my head in disbelief.

Hyunjoong, my fiancée. My lovely, thoughtful fiancée. It’s been three days, three ing days I don’t see his heartbreakingly handsome face.

“Yuri?” He looks so shocked than I am. “What are you doing here?”

No greet, no kiss, no hug, just a straightly awkward question. I badly want to hug him and cry on his shoulder, admitting that I’ve been selfish and stupid, then beg him for forgiveness. But from my ‘angle’ here, we surely like some strangers who just met a few days ago. I know he’s still upset but I’m his future wife for god’s sake.

He gazes me down. “Come in.”

I follow his instruction. He leads me in and closes the door behind me. He let me sit and gives me some water. I swear his calm demeanor makes me uncomfortable. He hasn’t uttered the word since he let me in while I keep my silent gaze.

“Yuri-ah…” Hyunjoong breaks off and stares at me silently for a second. Inside I feel relieved that he’s not that mad. I thought he’ll be giving me a silent treatment. “I’m so sorry. I was such a jerk,”

“What?” I falter.

My heart is thumping. I think I might fall over at any moment.

It should stops. I’m the one who should have said it. “Hyunjoong ah,” This time I let my words come out. Come on Yuri, say it.

“I…”  My heart jumps in fear, I almost complete my sentence when someone’s deep voice cut me off somewhere. “Hyung, do you have some clothes I could borrow?” I recognize this voice.

I turn my head upon hearing his voice. A flash of shock electrocute my body as my heart race incessantly at the possible answer. I’m shaking, not only just in shock but also in fear. I can’t believe I see him, again. This can’t be happening. He should have been in Paris right now.

Seunghyun also faces me with a surprised countenance. His hand clenches tightly to the towel. What makes my jaw drop aside seeing him standing in front of me is the distracted view of him. He’s walking out with a white towel wrapped around his waist. I felt the ersion in my eyes grow at the brief sight of this. I shake my head like I’m shaking the sinful bug off of me.

An unpleasant memory streams through me.

Can I finish my line to Hyunjoong, like right now? ‘I...’

‘have touched those chocolate abs.’