Some people think that a heartbreak is nothing, and that it’s something you should forget fast, they say that we dramatise the whole thing, like it was nothing.

 

They said it like it was easy.        Forget him.

 

Do they know how you feel after loosing your love ? Giving yourself to that person, do they know the efforts we do in order to please that person, the thing we do for them ? Just to be loved back. They don’t know. They don’t know how hard it is to be in love. The pain of a heartbreak is near from physical. You can’t get out without a bruise. Love isn’t just about happiness, there’s a part of suffering.

 

Because we didn’t think of an eventual heartbreak, we thought that suffering was something required to be happy in the end. Suffering was required. But we believed in our happy ending. So we didn’t cared when we were hurt. In our eyes that person was our soul mate, our everything, because that person had the ability of making us happy.

 

You can’t erase love this easily.

 

Even if you say that you erased it, it doesn’t go away that easily. Four year of love is not nothing, four year is hard to erase from your mind. Four years isn't a lot of time, but when you spend nearly every single day with the same person the whole time, it feels like a decade, maybe even more.

 

•

 

Everyone in Block B had noticed how miserable had become Jae Hyo. And it feels wrong, because Jae Hyo was one of the most joyful person in the band. They tried to cheer up the boy, with everything they could do. Too bad it wasn’t enough. 

  

Jiho tried to make smile the boy by inviting him to the theatre but he declined the invitation of the leader. Kyung forced Jae Hyo to watch “good” . Which he didn’t erect or showed a sign of interest, letting the rapper at a loss of word, because it was one of the best movie he had. Minhyuk didn’t do much, he watched TV with him, doing randomly some remark in attempt to have a reaction from Jae Hyo. But nothing, he just remained silent and continued to watch the show. Taeil didn’t even know why he had to do that, so he bought some snack, mainly Doritos and chips. There wasn’t any reaction because he just had left the bag of food on his bed without a note, so Jae Hyo didn’t knew from who this was coming. Jihoon also tried to cheer him by buying a lot of plush, this was the reason of why he had so many girly plush on his bed ( Jiho also gave him a Hello Kitty one ). He didn’t object, he just thanked the maknae and the leader.

 

So it was Yukwon’s turn now to try.

 

He just dragged Jae Hyo with him to drink a coffee together, using his new addiction to take the boy out of the dorms to nearest coffee shop. During the walk the boy trailed behind the dancer silently, leaving an awkward silence. Yukwon scratched the back of his neck nervously but he said nothing and continued to walk.

 

When they were entering the coffee shop they were welcomed by the overwhelming scent of coffee, the warmness of the coffee shop was really comfortable and reassuring, maybe it was the reason why Jae Hyo drank so many cup of coffee per day, thought Yukwon. 

Looking at the menu, he glanced at the brunet who was fidgeting with his hands as he was looking at the menu.

 

« Did you choose already ? » asked the dancer.

« Y-Yeah I’ll just take a.. a.. Cappu- I’m not very sure.. Well I think..-»

« A Cappuccino and a hot chocolate for us Sir. » ordered Yukwon as he paid for the both of them, not minding that the boy was unsure of what to take, he smiled at Jae Hyo who was looking a bit uneasy but gave him a faint smile to reassure the boy that he was okay with a Cappuccino. After that they sat at a corner near to a window that was giving a view onto the street, waiting for their order Jae Hyo removed his coat and so did Yukwon, not knowing what to do Jae Hyo looked outside. Yukwon stared at the boy and Jae Hyo was aware of it so he turned to him and asked.

 

« Is there something wrong ? »  and the dancer lifted and eyebrow and was about to answer when the waiter came with their order, and without noticing the question went forgotten as they were drinking. The awkward and heavy silence was still lingering on, he didn’t know what to do with the boy and Jae Hyo didn’t know what to say to Yukwon. When Yukwon sighed, the brunet flinched and the danced looked at him surprised as he was worried.

 

“ Hey man, you okay ?” asked Yukwon with a hint of worry. Jae Hyo nodded quickly and took a sip of his too hot cappuccino, burning his tongue he backed off quickly which resulted by spilling a bit of coffee on his shirt ending with a little stain on his shirt. Panicking a bit he searched for a tissue when Yukwon extended a tissue with a little smile. « Everything is okay, don’t panic. ‘Kay ? » calmly said the blond as he looked into the puppy eyes of the visual. « Y-Yeah.. » he replied with a shaking voice, it was as if his eyes were pooling tears as he was talking. The reassuring smile of the dancer remained and Jae Hyo calmed automatically. Yukwon watched silently Jae Hyo and was surprised to see how insecure the boy had become, and the dancer made sure that every of his action would be soft and caring, not too brusque or too sudden, something that could shut the boy. 

 

Lately the visual didn’t speak too much, usually answering by Yes or No, nodding or shaking his head. Block B were getting genuinely concerned by the comportment of the boy. His comportment affected Block B’s mood and could affect their activities, but they didn’t say a word about it. Time would heal the scars of the boy.

 

Because until now, the thought of Jae Hyo being frail never crossed their minds.

 

They realized that they didn’t truly know Jae Hyo from the begining. But they couldn’t do much about that.

 

It was a fight where Jae Hyo was alone, a battle between his mind and heart. Where contradictions crossed too often the battlefield which caused often to scramble his brain. Jae Hyo was lost in a thick fog, his eyesight was blurred, he couldn’t tell what was right and what was wrong. He tried to clear his mind, but the truth was that he didn’t even knew he was lost. He didn’t even knew his current condition. He was like an unmoving doll, little doll made of porcelain which was broken.

 

The members which he considered like his family, didn’t do much. They didn’t know how to deal with the problem. He didn’t blame them, it was normal, he was a lost cause.

 

The thing he didn’t know was that his mood was influencing the group.

 

Block B was much more silent and quiet, they didn’t laugh heartily every day like they used to before the New Year incident. They couldn’t blame Taeil, he was drunk. There was no one to blame, so Jae Hyo blamed himself for being in love and being weak.

 

Yeah. Jae Hyo was being miserable.

 

He used to be a ball of happiness. Now you could tell at first sight that he was slender, his skin was pale which was emphasizing his dark circles. Just by a look you could tell that there were no longer a sign of life, his eyes were empty, they lost the little sparkle that he used to have. Jae Hyo used to eat a lot before, he loved eat, sometimes he was eating more by gourmandise than by necessity, he chatted a lot with his fellow members, he laughed a lot back then. But all of this, was past. He was dead inside.

 

They needed Jae Hyo, so it was their duty to  cheer him up. There was no Block B without Jae Hyo, they passed so many hard time together, they couldn’t loose Jae Hyo.

 

So Yukwon dragged him along to the coffee shop every day and paid for him every day the coffee against the protest of Jae Hyo who didn’t know what have crossed the mind of the dancer. He couldn’t fight against “Don’t worry, it’s on me.”  or  the  “My treat.”, or the little smile Yukwon was giving to him. He didn’t understand why the dancer was spending money on him.

 

Without noticing, Yukwon became a part of his daily life, where before he was just a friend he was becoming something more than a friend, a best friend maybe or a family figure ? 

 

They often stayed together after the end of their schedules. Jae Hyo had a lot of free time, he was just the visual so he didn’t have to work to hard on dance or in song, usually his part were shorts and in the music video they filmed his face that’s it. He didn’t have a lot of parts in the song, unlike Jae Hyo, Yukwon had a lot of parts, he had to work more. The manager once said that Yukwon had a particular voice and a smile that fans loved, he didn’t made any comment for the visual, neither on his voice nor face. That day the manager had told them what was their schedules and what they were expecting. Jae Hyo deduced that they didn’t have a lot of expectations for him. He just remained quiet. So once his schedule was over he waited for Yukwon to finish his.

 

Yukwon was nice, he was a great company. He didn’t forced Jae Hyo to talk, he was really good to him, patient and caring, he always make sure that the boy was comfortable. He didn’t asked question that could make the brunet uncomfortable. It was easy to be with Yukwon.

 Yukwon tag along a lot, sometimes, after their coffee time he asked what Jae Hyo wanted to do,  sometimes he listened to Jae Hyo and did what he wanted or he dragged the boy to go for some shopping, Yukwon often paid, well every time, cloths or food for the boy even if Jae Hyo objected but in the end he couldn’t refuse when the boy was smiling at him. But most of the time when he wanted to do nothing but sleep, Yukwon and him were going back to the dormitory, and they just stayed in Jae Hyo’s room.

 

Jae Hyo’s room was nice, Yukwon loved his room, Jae Hyo’s room was tidy and neat. It was so alike to Jae Hyo who was a blood type A. His room always had the scent of a coffee shop, it was a pleasant feeling, he was feeling safe when he was in the room, even if the owner of the room wasn’t feeling safe, Yukwon was.

 

Even if Jae Hyo often insisted for the dancer to not force himself to stay, Yukwon never left. He would be sitting next to Jae Hyo and play some melody with his guitar, sometimes he sang happy or sad song, sometimes he just played guitar and Jae Hyo would be sitting next to him on his bed listening quietly to Yukwon’s music, sometimes Yukwon would relate some fact about health, or science, or just some stories of him when he was younger, sometimes he talked about his day, how the weather was or how blue was the sky today. There were times when Jae Hyo would fall asleep on the shoulder of the younger, he would try to fight the slumber but Yukwon was here and he often said like that it was okay as he would pat his head, he would said to Jae Hyo that  he could sleep because he was here and no one will bother him.  When he heard the words of the younger, he relaxed and he let himself fell asleep.  No one would bother him, not even his nightmare. He persuaded himself with this when Yukwon was here, even if he knew that it wasn’t true, his naps never lasted more than one hour. Because the dream he did was always the same nightmare.

 

When he wakes up, Yukwon would be still here playing guitar or singing, sometimes he would fall asleep too on the bed of Jae Hyo, when it happened, Jae Hyo was always face to face with the dancer. Hearing the quiet breathing, he would stand up and go the kitchen to make some coffee. When Yukwon wakes up, he always had this scent of coffee, Jae Hyo himself had a scent of coffee. But he didn’t mind, it was a nice scent.

Even if the scent of coffee had already filled his nostrils, he didn’t say a word, he knew that a steaming cup of coffee was waiting for him.

 

•

 

Yukwon didn’t know how to heal a broken heart. He didn’t have any qualifications because he judged that healing a broken heart was something that girls were expert at, he didn’t have his way with word, he was someone who never was confronted to that kind of stuff. He didn’t know how a heartbreak could feel. But he knew that it wasn’t nothing. If a heartbreak could change a person’s behaviour, and turn that person in a complete stranger, it means that heartbreak wasn’t nothing.

 

Yukwon didn’t know if he was able to heal Jae Hyo’s broken heart, but he was willing to try.

 

•

 

In his free time, Jae Hyo would stay in his room and hug a bunny plush given by the maknae and look at the white ceiling. It was a boring activity but he liked doing it, he just remained there and looked a the ceiling, his eyes would not close, he would do that at the beginning of the afternoon until the end of the day. 

 

His heart was beating normally and he could feel the weightlessness bringing him down. It wasn’t a bad feeling, it reassured him in a way. He could feel that he was still alive, that he didn’t die from overthinking. When he thought that, he questioned himself. What did he thought during all this time ?    He forgot.

 

When he closed his eyelids, he sees what he wants the most, he see what he doesn’t want to see.

 

A smiling Taeil. 

 

Laughing, maybe. Was he mocking him ? Laughing at his pathetic self ? He didn’t know what the smiling Taeil was doing when he closed his eyelids. But he doesn’t care, he can laugh. Because he was pathetic.

 

I know I can’t have you, but I still desire you. I’m sorry.

 

He wished he could go back to stranger again, if he could he would never commit the same error. Falling in love was his error. It was eating him.

 

He wished that one day, this love would be just a memory, a part of his life. A memory that he would laugh heartily at, or just a bad memory. Like a nightmare he would forget tomorrow. Yep.  A memory sounds good.

 

• 

 

Sometimes he would forget to eat, not hearing his stomach growling. Yukwon would be here and remind him to eat. Forcing him to eat, Jae Hyo would eat a little bit and Yukwon couldn’t force the boy, he knew that the visual didn’t had the feeling of starving. But his body needed to regain some strength. Everyone could tell one kilometer away. His skin was too white, he was too slim, and the dark circles : he looked ill. Yukwon forced Jae Hyo to eat, he would cook for the elder and Jae Hyo wouldn’t complain, he didn’t wanted to offend the dancer. He was so gentle to him. 

 

Eating with everyone, Jae Hyo would eat fast to go back in his room because his heart still ached whenever he saw the boy. Because he still loves Taeil and that he knew that love wasn’t a solution for them, Taeil needed to go back at what he was at the first place, a friend. Not a crush. He knows they’ll never be a thing.

Everyday he would do his best to avoid Taeil, everyday would wish the same thing : that the elder didn’t existed. Jae Hyo doesn’t want to cross the same path as Taeil. But they lived under the same roof, they were in the same band. He couldn’t avoid Taeil. It was impossible. He doesn’t hate Taeil. He doesn’t hate him. He doesn’t.

 

He just needs some space.

 

Yukwon gave him space. Not too much, because if he does. He will loose himself. Yukwon is the gravity which maintain him on earth. He’s grateful.

 

He needs time too. Maybe a lot, or maybe not. He just know that today and tomorrow will not be enough.

 

He’s not over Taeil. Maybe he’ll never be. Maybe one day he tells himself.     Maybe.

 He hopes it wills end, and this love will become a good memory or this nightmare will soon stop. Because now, he just want to sleep peacefully.

 

 

Jae Hyo drank coffees every day at the same hour, Yukwon tried to stop him but couldn’t when he saw Jae Hyo fighting slumber when he didn’t take coffee to make happy Yukwon,  it brokes his heart. He never saw someone so against the idea of sleeping. He didn’t understand why. Generally people preferred to sleep. But not Jae Hyo, even though they were close Jae Hyo never said anything to him.

 

“ Why won’t you sleep ? You need a rest Hyo.” Questioned Yukwon.

“ I’m not sleepy.” Quickly mumbled the visual who was rubbing his eyes.

“ Why are you lying ? It’s obvious.”

“ You would leave if I sleep, I just want to spend more time with you until you leave that’s all.” Half lied Jae Hyo.

 

Yukwon doesn’t answer, because whenever Jae Hyo would say this he would the same thing, over and over. He would lift the blanket and get underneath the blanket beside a surprised Jae Hyo.

 

“I’ll be here tomorrow when you’ll wake up, so sleep.” Whispered Yukwon. Jae Hyo wouldn’t know how to react so he usually nodded.

“ ‘Night Hyo.” Yawned the dancer before wrapping his arms around Jae Hyo’s thin body, Yukwon shifted closer to the boy and put the head of Jae Hyo under his chin, Jae Hyo’s face met the wide chest of the blond and the heat of the young boy spread all over the body of the brunet, legs tangled? In the arms of the dancer he feels safe. The heat didn’t bother him, it’s warm like the heart of Yukwon. He feels happy, and a little smile was forming on his lips. Yukwon was hugging him like a pillow you would take when you’re watching a film, if it was the case then he would stay a pillow forever because he never felt this good in his life. The dancer tightened his embrace and Jae Hyo didn’t move, he was feeling funny inside, he could feel the blood in his veins coming to his face. He was red. He can hear his heart beating loudly in his chest. It was not a so unpleasant feeling. 

 

Hyo likes Yukwon.             A lot.

He feels safe with him, in his arms. Yukwon is a bit like an older brother to Jae Hyo, even if he's older he likes the idea. It’s okay. He tells himself. It’s okay to lean on Yukwon.

 

Being with Yukwon became a part of his daily life now, they became really close. Jae Hyo really enjoyed the presence of the dancer. He wished that Yukwon also enjoyed his presence, he didn’t wanted to be a hindrance to him. He wonders sometimes why Yukwon stays with him, he's not very funny or interesting, he  doesn’t talk very much. But Yukwon never said a word about it and just stuck with him.

 

Sometimes when the dancer must do some groceries, he wonders what he should do when Yukwon will leave, but Yukwon always turns his head to Jae Hyo when he's about to go with an interrogate look.

 

"You're not coming Hyo ?" He's a bit surprised but he tag along.  He appreciate the efforts Yukwon do.  He does love the nickname that Yukwon gave him. Hyo. 

 

He's really a good friend.

 

Sometimes he wonder if Yukwon consider him like a kid he needs to look after because he doesn’t want to be that sort of person who need someone to care about them, he wanted to be someone reliable not a pain in the for his friend. He feels like a child with Yukwon.

 

Even if he doesn’t hear, Yukwon keeps murmuring him the very same word from the first time they did a nap together. It will be okay he would say while the brunet’s dark hair. He doesn’t know but Yukwon really likes the brunet.

 

  

When Yukwon is with his girlfriend, he stays in his room or spend time with Kyung, when Jae Hyo is alone he stays in his room where he does a lot of things such as reading the books or manga that Yukwon left on his desk or his favorite activity, watching the ceiling. 

 

He knows that when Yukwon would return he would check if he's asleep. Generally he wasn’t, he acted like he was and wait for the second click of the door to go out the bed like he was a child who would wait after his parent usual control. He would sit on the windowsill and just look at the scenery, he loves seeing the spectacle of night, the light of the car’s headlight moving and the road traced by the street lamps, it’s really pretty. He could sit on the windowsill and watch the night scenery for hours. In the night he would also watch some drama, Yukwon often asked how he could watch those girly things he never answered at that question because he didn’t really knew.

 

Maybe because dramas were so full of feelings, he loved the fact that they could give the wave of emotions so easily,  Korea is so talented in those love films production. He was amazed when his heart ached just by seeing some people acting through a screen.  Because he also wanted to become an actor, he watched films a lot, he wondered if one day he could convey his feeling through a screen .

 

 

When he was with Kyung, Kyung would take him to a bubble tea store cause god he liked it like no one would and  Jae Hyo also liked bubble tea so he was happy to hang out in the bubble tea store with someone. When they weren't going out they would stay in Kyung and Yukwon's shared room, surfing on the net or doing some selfies for fun then delete them because they were doing some funny ugly face. Jae Hyo started to talk more with Kyung, even if he was calmer than before, now he would makes sentences when before he answered just by a yes or no.

Sometimes they played video games or play cards. They did a lot of things together.

 

Yukwon was surprised when he saw Jae Hyo in his room the first time, he didn't expect him to be here with Kyung laughing. The first time he saw Jae Hyo in his room was when the visual was half with only his boxer on and his cheeks were tainted with a slight pink because he played strip poker with Kyung who had only a jeans on. He just laughed with Kyung and Jae Hyo gain another shade of red. It was a good memory. 

 

 

It was Kyung who approached Jae Hyo first, when Jae Hyo was doing his usual ‘ceiling looking activity’, he asked if he wanted to watch a film with him. Jae Hyo first refused but Kyung forced him anyway, he installed himself on the bed of the elder and watched it.  It continued, everyday during his free times, Kyung landed in his room  without any authorization and without paying attention, he took interest in what was doing the rapper. Kyung smiled in victory and forced Jae Hyo to give him more space even if he was occupying three quarters of the bed. They watched a lot of dramas or talked about Block B’s members attitude, usual habits or some gossip around some other idols. But Kyung never talked about Taeil, and Jae Hyo was thankful. It was easy for them to communicate. Soon they hang out a lot in the down town, shopping or just doing window shopping. They soon became regulars customers of a bubble tea shop. Being with Kyung was fun.

 

He slowly grew accustomed to his new lifestyle and it wasn’t that bad.

 

 

•

 

 

“ We should only drink tea.” Firmly declared Kyung one day out of the blue, while he entered in the room of the elder who was reading a book from Yukwon’s library.

 “  Excuse me ? “  demanded Jae Hyo with an arched eyebrow.

“ Because we should. ”

“ Why ? “ 

“ I don’t know, it’s good for health so why not ? So I bought tea, d’ya want some ? “ proposed Kyung, and Jae Hyo nodded, facing the smile full of teeth of the boy.

 

“ Good. So I bought a lot of tea, because tea is also good without bubble ! »

 

The rapper pulled out from his bag another bag and opened it, this one was full of tea, tea bag, tea pot, tea box. It contained a lot of sort of tea with various flavour. There was so many different tea so they choose their tea with the help of hazard. Jae Hyo got violet tea, and Kyung got jasmine tea.

 

“ Yah ! Jae Hyo aren’t you lucky today ? “ remarked the rapper, Jae Hyo gave him an interrogate look.

 

“ You got the violet tea ! Man, you’re lucky don’t you know ? d’ya know that Violets were mostly cultivated in France, it’s a flower who is present naturally there, well violets are present in every continent but in France, violet’s scent is stronger. Some French say that the violet flavour bring them back into their youth, when they were still kids. It’s an amazing feeling. Well, people say that. Would you let me try ? »

He just remained silent and nodded, he didn’t mind, and it was pretty surprising to see the rapper knowing such things.

 “ Thanks, you’re such a nice guy.”  Said Kyung with a cheerful tone.

“ Well.. Sure, yours is pretty common so go ahead. “ stated Jae.

“Tss, shut up.“  retorted his friend. Jae Hyo just laughed. 

 

 

 

When Kyung came with the now ready cup of tea, Kyung smiled as he served Jae Hyo.

“ You can drink now ! Don’t forget to give me a sip man. “

“ Yeah sure, take the first sip. “ Without waiting more the younger thanked the elder and lifted the cup and bring it to his mouth to drink it,  he watched how Kyung’s Adam apple moved and patiently waited for the reaction. Because Kyung’s reactions were fun to watch.

 

“ Oh my god, Jae Hyo it’s really good ! Even without sugar. Here taste ! » Kyung smiled a bit too much but it was okay, he was always this cheerful and the brunet liked this side of Kyung.

“ Well, if you say so, can I add some milk ? “ asked Jae Hyo with a little smile.

“ Yeah, go on, why do you ask ? » 

« Dunno. » answered the elder while he poured milk in his tea.

 

“ Jae, do you know about tea personality ? “

 

“ I don’t, tell me.” 

 

“ Some person say that people who like his tea with nothing are harsh people. People who like just sugar are naïve. People who like just milk are healing from something. And people who like both are happy. ” explained the younger.

 

“ It’s so girly..” vaguely said Jae Hyo while he stirred his spoon in the tea cup first and take a sip. Jae Hyo hummed, he loved his tea like that.

“ So, how do you like your tea ? “

“ With both. “ said the cucumber while pouring milk and sugar.

“ Happy ? huh.. I see. “ the taste was nice, it had an elegant feeling.

“ So Jae Hyo, what are you healing from ? “ asked Kyung.

 

Jae Hyo takes another sip of his tea, yeah his tea did bring him back in his youth, the tea has a comforting feeling he likes it, he takes one more sip. He hesitates, but answers anyway to the question.

 

“ Nothing. ” 

 

Kyung wasn’t very convinced but he decided to let it go. Because curiosity once killed the cat.

 

“ Anyway, mine’s is pretty good, do you want to have a taste of it ? “ proposed the rapper, bringing the topic back to the tea.

“ Sure.”

“ I love mine’s more.” Said Jae Hyo after tasted the jasmine tea. Kyung only smiled as he drank his tea.

“ I love tea a lot. ” stated the visual.

“  Me too. “ added Kyung.

“ Me three. “ said another voice coming out from nowhere.

 

Yukwon appeared magically in front of them.

 

“ Oh Yukwon, it’s you ! “ shouted Kyung.

“ Well.. I don’t see another person here named Yukwon. “ sarcastically deadpanned Yukwon.

“ You’re early today. “  mentioned Jae smiling at him.

“ I finished earlier, so they released me, Minhyuk decided to train more, so here I am.”

“Right.”

“ So what are you, guys are doing right now ? “ asked Kwon.

“ Tea time/drink tea.” said in sync the duo.

“ Do you want one ? Kyung bought a lot.” Informed the visual.

“ Yeah, pick one in the bag, let the hazard guide you. Let’s see if you’re lucky.” Talked Kyung with a hint of malice.

 

-Few seconds later.-

 

 “ OH MY.. MOTHER OF GOD, SWEET JESUS, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS !? “ yelled Yukwon in disgust.

 

“… It tastes horrible..” muttered the dancer, he looked at the cup with disgust, in hope that the cup of tea will magically disappear while Jae Hyo and Kyung were laughing their off. Yeah, Kyung was indeed the most mischievous of them. He was evil must have thought Yukwon in the moment.

 

“ Some medical herbs tea. You’re not as lucky as I was thinking. But it will bring a lot of good for your health.”  Said mockingly Kyung while he was wiping a fake tear from his left eye.

“ My health doesn’t need that Kyung ! “ moaned Kwon as he pouted.

“ Bitter is not bad yanno.”  Added Jae Hyo who was hugging his legs on the chair, with a little smile on his lips.

“ You’re supposed to be on my side Hyo ! “complained Yukwon.

“ It’s tea.” said the visual.

“ Still ! “

“ Enough ! Don’t be a kid Kwon. One shot ! “ shouted Kyung.

“ Excuse me ? “indignantly demanded Yukwon.

“ You’re pardoned.” Added Kyung. Yukwon wanted to face palm.

“ One shot Kwon, do it like a true man ! “ joined Jae Hyo with a cheerful tone.

“ Listen to the elder, you heard his words you should listen. Do it.”  Yukwon really wanted to cry now. He wasn’t like Minhyuk who could eat and drink anything.

“ But it’s hot ! “ tried the dancer.

“ It’s not, it’s been five minutes since you’re whining.”

“ It’s practically cold now, don’t worry you won’t burn your tongue.” Added Jae Hyo.

“ And there’s not steaming coming out, be reassured. “

“ .. Man.. Why does it always be me ?” whispered Yukwon to himself , armed with courage he took the cup and drank it in one go. After Yukwon drank the tea and the cup was perfectly empty, his face turned into someone near from throwing up.

 

“ OH GOD.. I SWEAR I WILL ING KILL YOU ! KYUNG ING PARK. OH MY GOD WHY DID I ACTUALLY LISTENED TO YOU. OH GOD I SWEAR YOU’LL DIE IN YOUR SLEEP. I LOST THE SENSE OF TASTE NOW. IT’S DISGUSTING. JESUS CHRIST. GOD DAMMIT. I CAN’T TASTE ANYTHING NOW. YOU’RE DEAD I SWEAR. “ agonized the dancer.

 

Jae Hyo and Kyung were laughing their off, maybe they did laugh a bit too much because they never had a stomach ache from laughing that much.  This was ing hilarious. After drinking a bottle of water to remove the bitter taste, during the rest of the night he never stopped to glare at Kyung who couldn’t stop laughing at the memory of Yukwon swearing. Jae Hyo tried to not laugh but failed. An angry Yukwon was funny. Jae Hyo kept his smile during the rest of the day. Kyung was funny, Yukwon was funny too. He loved them a lot.

 

 

They stayed in the kitchen the rest of the night, talking about films or music, project or schedules, time pass fast, it was nearly one in the morning when Kyung left the kitchen, Yukwon and Jae Hyo stayed a little bit longer in the kitchen as they were talking about their day.

 

“ What did you do today ? “ asked Yukwon a little tired.

“ I read a book and then Kyung came.” said Jae Hyo while drinking his cup of coffee he did earlier.

“ Which one ? “

“ You know, the one which you read an reread. “ tried to describe it because he didn’t remember the title.

“ Oh, this one !? Did you liked the story ?”

“ Uh.. Yeah if I don’t like a story, generally I don’t finish them. “

“ It’s good, really ! It’s my favourite book, well one of my numerous favourites. “ laughed a little Yukwon.

“ And you ? What did you do ? “

 “ I trained again and again.. I’m tired now. You’re lucky Hyo, you got a lot of time for you.  My schedule is always so full..” the tone in his voice was becoming lower and less happy. It’s because you’re important for the group. Thought Jae Hyo.

 “ I guess I am..”  answered the dark haired man.

 

“ I don’t have enough time for me, I want to see my girlfriend too, but I don’t have time, and she don’t. It really .. I miss her sometimes, you know sometimes I wonder if she thinks of me like I do. I wish she does. But you know, even if I do.. I start to forget the feeling I had for her the first time. It’s been months since we have seen each other. I can feel it, the feeling is fading away. It’s sad but it’s life. I still love her, I still. But I don’t know how long I could endure this long distance. Love is strong but it has his own weakness. It’s weird, but the feeling of love is fading away, I don’t know how long I will love her. It could end tomorrow or never. I don’t know. I don’t know how to feel about this. Will she be sad ? What do you think Hyo ? ” sighed the blond.

 

“ I don’t know too. You should just go to sleep and not over think about something as unnecessary as you were thinking, you love her and she loves you. You’re lucky. Don’t think about something like that. “ 

 

“ Haha, I guess I’ll follow your advice then.“ laughed Yukwon without thinking too much.

“ Sometimes you can be pretty stupid. “ Jae Hyo observed the tired Yukwon looking at him as he took a sip of his coffee.

“ Yeah.. I think it too.. “ smiled Yukwon.  

“ You know.. If the “if” was coming into the picture.. I think she would be sad. So go to sleep and stop thinking about unnecessary thing.“ blurted Jae Hyo out of nowhere, it was his way to cheer up his friend, he didn’t knew if he was good or not, but he tried anyways.

 

Yukwon remained silent for a few seconds before showing a cat-like smile. « Yeah, I will. »

“ Uh.. S-so good night Kwon-ah. ” stuttered Jae Hyo. Yukwon sure had a lot of expressions.

 

“ Thank you for listening at my thought it was disturbing me for a while, thank you Hyo,  I just needed to tell someone and you were here to listen, so thank you.. Good night to you as well. “ And with that Yukwon left the kitchen, and Jae Hyo stayed here and started to make another cup of coffee.

 He sighed and took a sip of it. Everyone had their own problems, and Yukwon wasn’t an exception. He smiled a bit, for a moment he thought that the younger had a perfect life, he was feeling a bit better somehow.

 

 Taking another sip of his coffee he was still lost in his thought when he noticed that it was indeed very bitter, so he added a bit of milk and a bit of sugar. Maybe he will be happy too. The taste was okay. He smiled to himself while he hummed a song he once heard in the street. He hoped that tea personality also worked on coffee.

 

Maybe Yukwon wasn’t an older brother to him but the milk he needed. He liked the idea. Yeah, Yukwon was the milk to his tea.

 

Yukwon was healing him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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