Subject: Re: LMAO! THIS IS SO RAD!

From: Nambasquiat@staygold. com

To: Hiphopbabylion@bbusan. com

Date: 22 April 2015 8:15 am

 

 

Seunghoon wrote:

You’re going to do it? IT??? With Kang Seungyoon? HOLY WATERMELONS! You have to tell me everything! What are you going to wear? What are you going to do? No, wait, I know what you’re going to do, of course I do. What I mean is, how are you going to act? Shoot! This is so major! I haven’t even thought of doing it with Bom, and here you are making a date! EHMEGHED! Do you know how proud I feel about you right now? I know I’m a straight poop, but I do know how to label hot boys. And Seungyoon, definitely daddy material. LeeHee approves as well.

 

 

Sheesh, Seunghoon, you don’t have to go all Springer on me! It’s not a big of a deal.

                Well, OK, it is; it’s the biggest thing that has ever happened to me, and that includes the night Seungyoon gave me my ring, which up till now has been the biggest thing, but don’t you think doing it qualifies as the biggest thing? I do. Getting into Harvard would be close, but I really do think this is bigger.

                OK, I just had a spaz attack thinking about how this will be the most important moment ever, the moment when I know Seungyoon loves me more than anything else, the moment when I’m sure that were absolutely perfect for each other and that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together. So in order to remain sane, we have to stop taking about it. ‘Cause otherwise I’m really going to freak out, and you know that’s never fabú.

                But, what if I don’t do it right? What if I’m, like, bad? What if Seungyoon hates it with me and is too nice to tell me? What if I don’t like it? What if he looks at me and doesn’t get that way? What if he thinks I’m too ugly to do it with? OHMIGOD, I’ll die! I’ll drop down dead right there in his hotel room, ugly, and still a , and Mom and Donghyun will have to come to France, and they’ll KNOW! They’ll know I was too ugly and horrible at it for Seungyoon to do it with me, and if I wasn’t already dead, I’d die again, and they’ll probably put it on my headstone.

                Here lies Nam Taehyun, so ugly no one would do it with him.

                Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

                All right. No more talk. None. Zippo. Zilch. Nada. Rien! (That means nothing in French).

                So, for non- topic, let me tell you about . . . um . . . my baby. OK, there’s a bit of there. But only pretend , not real , not the kind of real where if the love of your life, a guy so nummy you want to drool whenever you see him, decides you’re just too horrible to do it with, you’ll die. Not that kind of .

                We had our first day of baby boot camp today at school. Mr. Kwon Dragon (yes, he still hates me, although I don’t know why; I’m perfect Saint Taehyun in his class. Well except for the time I made grunting noises when he walked into the library. And the time he found that cartoon of him with exaggerated forehead that Jinwoo and I had been drawing. And the day I slipped up and called him Mr. Kwon Fivehead. But other than that, I’ve been perfect) . . . what was I saying? Oh, the baby stuff. The dragon is taking over the week of baby training (our other classmates is so close into adapting that Dragon nickname I and Jinwoo had given him, since he always goes ape, excuse me for my language, on various things, even my hair. My silky, flawless, perfectly parted hair).

                “Becoming a parent is not a decision you should take lightly,” he said, glaring at me. I couldn’t tell if he was glaring at me just on general purpose, or if he wanted to remind me that he hates my guts. I’m guessing it’s the latter. “Creating a child is an action that will have an effect on you for the remainder of your life. In order to bring home just how important it is that you consider the ramifications of engaging in ual contact, Gobottle School has gone to the enormous expense of purchasing the very latest in realistic baby simulators, which you will all receive tomorrow afternoon before you leave school.”

I waggled my droopy eyebrows at Jinwoo. That always makes him laugh. To be honest, I don’t know why he seems to put it out on me during the all that yakking. Firstly, it would take miracle to happen for my ual category to produce an offspring, gay and all. It just strengthens the reason why I stand by my belief that he just hates and is jealous of me. I knew it the day he kinda found out I was gay, since I came out willingly and proud, because I don’t really care what they think as long as mom and my brother approved. I knew he was jealous because everyone in Gobottle knows he has the hots for Mr. Choi (you remember him—Physics teacher, tight pants, bl