We moved out a week later, everyone helped us pack up our things and our manager took us to the place were Super Junior began - our old dorms. It was where we used to spend the days out just after our debut, it brought back fond memories in me.

“It’s been a while, “ I commented as a trainee ran past me to get to his band mates behind us. Donghae grunted and slung his backpack over his shoulder and walked inside. I guess he still wasn’t talking to me.

“Yah!” Siwon yelled at me from the van, a bit indignantly. “Are you going to help take this up or will I have to do all the work?”

Yes, Siwon was helping us. I think President Lee also knew about the discomfort between Siwon and me, so he asked him personally to help us move. What it would do to help, or prove, was beyond me.

“Coming!” I replied, running up to help him as he dumped a box in my out spread arms. It was heavy so I made and audible, ‘oomph’ as I took hold. I stumbled about at the weight of it and nearly toppled over. I needed to work out more often.

Siwon managed to catch me before I fell. “Pabo!” He puffed, pulling me upright. “Be careful!”

I think that must have been the first civil word he had said to me since I came back, so I couldn’t help but smile. Siwon stiffened when he saw my face and he turned away, picking up something else from the van. I could see a tint of a blush on his cheeks.

“Kimbum-ah?” He said, as he pulled out a suitcase. “About before...at the studio...”

“Neh?” I asked, helping him pull out the case. Siwon was very nervous for some reason, but I had no idea why.

“Well,” he mumbled, closing the trunk door. “I...think I over reacted.”

I stood staring at him for a moment. “You think?” I said, propping the boxes onto a trolley the landlady had given us earlier. “It was an over reaction,” I said beginning to push the trolley. Siwon followed me, not saying a word.

“Oh,” I said, as the thought came to me. “And why are you acting this way anyway? I’m sorry for leaving but you know I-”

“It’s awkward,” Siwon mumbled, making me stop.

“Awkward?” I repeated dumbly. Why would it be? I thought for a split second about his previous comment. What was awkward? My comeback or my departure from SJ? I started to push the trolley again.

“We haven’t....” Siwon uttered, his voice low. “.....Why did you come back?”

I was confused, why had he asked me that? Wasn’t I clear about it before? “I missed you guys, if I’m being frank,” I said ruffling my hair, it was embarrassing to admit it.  “When I was alone, out being a ‘actor’, I felt really lonely, you know?”

“But you never-” Siwon said and I put up my hand to stop him, I already knew what he was going to say.

“I never called right?” Siwon nodded and I sighed. “Well, I don’t know the real reason why you guys didn’t get my calls but you’ve got to believe me when I say that I never stopped trying to get in contact.”

I propped my back up against the trolley handle, Siwon firmly kept his eyes to the ground. “I was selfish, and I’m sorry Siwon-ah,” I said, trying to make amends. “I left you guys too quickly and it made, as you said, things awkward between us when I came back.” I sighed and patted him on the shoulder, making him look up. “I don’t know if things can be the same between us, as it used to be, but can we go back to being friends? I missed talking to you like this.”

Siwon shuffles uncomfortably around for a bit before replying, “Neh.”

Ecstatic I jump hugged Siwon, I admit it was out of character but you can’t imagine how I missed his old personality. “Thanks Siwon-ssi!” I exclaimed, jumping off him again. He seemed to be in shock at my actions. I shrugged it off and continued to head inside.

I think things were starting to look up. Now all I have to do is get Donghae and I to make up and I think things will have gone, sort of, back to how they used to be.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stood, staring at the wall for a matter of minutes. Why had he hugged me like that? He never did it before, he was the sort of person to abstain from hugging anyone. It wasn’t in his nature to do it.

I guess these past few weeks have been really bad for him. I feel like a jerk.

Sure, I was angry when he came back, but not quite as much as Donghae seemed to be. When they had that fight on stage I knew then that I was being a bit out of order. He had apologised multiple times, and I chose to ignore it. I was too wrapped up in my own emotions to have any patience with him. I never thought of his feelings.

But now, I don’t want it to be like that. Kibum was right, something screwy had happened in his absence but even I didn’t know quite what. I just knew I couldn't remain mad at him any longer, it was too hard to dislike him.

It was painful even being harsh on him, I always felt like I was the bad person. I could no longer go on treating my friend that way, it had to stop. Even when I heard he was moving out, I was feeling regretful, despite still making venomous comments, I wanted this to be over.

At least he forgave me, that I was thankful for, but why do I feel weird now?

That smile he gave me and that hug, why does it make me feel so strange? Am I coming down with something now?

I think back to the expression on his face and a slight ‘Badump’ comes from my heart. What is this?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Yah, Donghae-ah!” Kibum shouts as he bangs the door open, carrying a pile of boxes in his arms. “Help me!”

I watch from inside the apartment as he wanders around searching for a place to put them down. “You seem fine,” I commented, resting my arms back on the window ledge. “Siwon-ssi’s also helping, what do you need me for?”

Kibum sighs and places the boxes on the kitchen counter and walks up to me. “You’re not the only person going to be living here you know?” He says resting his back up against the window I was looking out of. “We need to help each other out, okay? You don’t have to like me, but we have to at least get along.”

I grunt and flop down on the sofa I was sitting on. Get along? What a laugh, there was no way, in this universe, that was happening. After what he did I....

Forget it.

“We can’t get along,” I said, resting my back on a cushion that last tenant had left, along with the sofa. “Not after what happened between us.”

Kibum tenses his brow. “The fight?” He asked. “I was only trying to help you-”

“Before that,” I said coldly. How could he not remember? It had torn me apart and there was no way he was going to make up for that.

“My leaving then?” He asked, sitting down by my feet. “Is that what is making you mad? I said I was sorry-”

I listen as he goes on about his reasons for leaving. Did he have seriously no idea what I was talking about!?! How can he be such a bastard?!

“Shut up!” I shout, sitting up. “It’s not that! Don’t you remember?!”

Kibum, looking startled, tries to figure out what he had done, apart from what he had already mentioned. Unbelievable!

“That day, before you left...” I say, tears beginning to form in my eyes. I would not cry, I swore I wouldn’t cry! “Did you have any recollection of what happened? You already gave me your reply, how can you be so heartless?!”

“Reply?” Kibum asks curiously. “What did I reply to? I didn’t say anything to you-”

“Exactly!” I screamed. “You said nothing! I had to hear about it from someone else!”

Kibum looked on, curiously startled, as I made my way into one of the bedrooms. How could he not remember?

Everything had changed because of what he said.