I staggered back under the force of Siwon’s punch. The last thing I had expected was for him to take a swing at me.

“What the hell, Siwon-ssi?!” I yelled back at him as I found my footing. Siwon looked like he was about to take another swipe at me, so I ducked out of his way. The boys just stared at us as if they were liking the scenario between my best-friend and I.

“You go Siwon-ssi!” Heechul cheered. I glared at him and he just flashed me his cold, evil smirk.

“You just thought coming back would be easy?” Siwon screamed. “Didn’t you?”

“Hey!” Leeteuk roared. “Calm down you two. This is no way for us to argue, now put down your fists and lets discuss this.”

“I know that I haven’t been around but can’t you cut me some slack?” I felt like I was being backed into a corner. “I wanted to fulfill my dream of being an actor but I never truly left you guys. Never once did I ever truly leave Super Junior!”

“Yeah right,” Siwon said as he tried to push me back. I backed away from him hastily, he was much bigger and fitter than me. “Did you ever think of how we feel about you leaving us?” I turned silent. “DID YOU?” He shouted at me, crumpling my collar.

I winced under his grip, I tried to free myself. “You’re selfish, Kibum,” Siwon spat at me. “You don’t think of anyone but yourself.”

It was then that I became angry and with strength, that I didn’t even know I had, I shoved Siwon off of me. “Selfish? Selfish?!” I screeched at him. “If following my dreams is selfish then what the heck are all of us doing here. I thought we were friends. You should encourage me, not make me feel like the dirt beneath your feet!”

“But you never once tried to contact us?” Ryeowook asked, curious but angry. “Did you even try?”

“What?” I reply, stunned. “I did call. Several times in fact, you were never around to answer.” I take a breath. “Do you even know how hard I’ve worked this past year on my acting? Huh, do you?!” I glare at the others, they stare back unemotional. Siwon loosened his fist, still angry but not likely to lash out.

“Yah!” Leeteuk stood in between me and Siwon and faced the rest. “This is not time to blame each other. Kibum has his own purpose of leaving the group. It was supposed to make us strong but we’re weaker more every moment if you act like this. I don’t want this happening.” Leeteuk-hyung looked at me. I know he felt sorry. I just shook my head and sulked in a corner of the dance hall. “Okay, break. Be ready for take eight in thirty minutes.”

After that everyone calmed down and went about chatting to one another. Heechul walked over to me with a sadistic grin plastered on his face. Crossing his arms, he paused in front of me and hissed. He smirked at me sulking, I didn’t even look up.

“Aww, Kibummie is hated,” Heechul mocked as he passed by me. I glared at him, Donghae was shortly following behind him. I looked into his eyes and he glanced away, it was probably about last night’s incident. Heechul moved away and as Donghae was about to follow him, I grabbed his wrist. Donghae turned to face me, startled.

“What exactly has happend here?” I ask, intent to get answers. “What’s up wih Heechul, Siwon, you and everyone else? Why do they say I’ve never contacted them? I made messages on the answering machine, why?”

“How should I know?” He barks back at me, trying to follow after Heechul. Heechul paused at the thought, then smirked. He continued walking with Donghae following after him. I stood up, trying to follow them both but a hand gripped my arm. It was Shindong.

“Don’t even think about it,” he said, his eyes darting between me and Heechul. “Just leave them be. It’s best if you don’t get involved.”

“Why?” I said, looking at Heechul who has quite obviously got his arm over Donghae’s shoulder. The others not even sparing a second glance. “Can’t I talk to Donghae anymore?” I didn’t even glanced to Shindong. I couldn’t take my eyes off Heechul-nim and Donghae-hyung.

Shindong shakes his head and pulls me aside. “Ever since you left it’s been like that,” he nods his head in their direction. “You know...together.”

My eyes widen. “What?” I said, my voice catching in my throat. “Together? I kind of gathered but when I asked-”

“Donghae-dongsaeng is very touchy about it,” Shindong whispered. “Ever since they got together he hasn’t been the same. He barely talks to anyone anymore, it’s like Heechul-nim has taken him over.”

“Did you not accept them together or something?” I ask but Shindong violently shakes his head.

“No we were very accepting,” he explains. “We even cheered for their happiness. Heechul looked happy but Donghae...well he hasn’t smiled at all in a long time.”

“Not at all?” Shindong shakes his head again I look over to Donghae. What exactly happened to him?

______________________________________________________________________________

When we arrived back home at the dorms everyone quickly dispersed and did their own things. I was left alone with no one to chat to or anything to do, so I went to the rooftop. Once I had climbed the stairs, I arrived to find Donghae bending over the ledge, crying.

I stared at him for a long time. A tear ran down his face and onto the ledge, he stared off into the distance blankly. I walked over to him and gently wiped the tears from his face. He jumped back, startled.

“What are...you-doing up-here?” He asked, stuttering. He looked down as if trying to hide his puffy eyes, but I can still see his face.

“I was getting some fresh air,” I replied. “Why were you crying?” He looked at me.

He turned his face away and rapidly rubbed away the tears with his sleeve. “Nothing,” he replied, sniffling. “I’m the King of Tears if you hadn’t forgotten.”

“But something had to make you upset in the first place,” I looked at him concerned. “Was it Heechul-hyung?”

Donghae snapped up to face my and his eyes turned into slits as he glared at me. “I told you not to bring that up again!” He yells at me. “Didn’t you listen?”

“I did but I’m worried about you,” I said coughing, it was cold up on the roof. “You’re my friend and I don’t like to see you upset.”

“Friend?” Donghae repeated incredulously. “You’re no friend of mine.” He began to walk off.

“What happened to you Donghae?” I called after him.

“More than you’ll ever know,” he replied as he walked down the staircase.

He makes me worried. I thought to myself as I head back inside. Now, I'm not even sure what the heck was going on. Was the matter of my leaving not as simple as I originally thought?