There are nights when Jiwon and I sneak into Hanbin's room through a set of small stairs next to his window and sleep together with him. Usually when it's a day off or when his parents are not home.

For this night, the reason is the former. A long summer break.

I wake up from the sound of car honks from outside. A few seconds later, the sound is replaced with the sound of pouring rain and waves from afar. I open my eyes to see Jiwon snoring loudly on my right. He is laying on his side with his back facing mine, so I can't see his sleeping face. I turn around and see Hanbin's face facing mine. His facial expression when he's sleeping is very different from the one when he's awake - although he's a little bit stern and serious, he's always nice to everyone in his own way. His face while asleep looks like a lonely Hanbin, fighting away his fatigue with soft snores. I smile and watch him sleeping peacefully with his right hand hugging my waist.

When I brush my hand on his cheek, he wakes up. He slowly opens his eyes, but not moving an inch. Both of us laying, facing each other. He grabs my fingers and talks with a low small voice like a whisper.

The time when we chat in the middle of the night is my favorite, as if the clock stops and we can talk about anything as long as we want to. We talk about a lot of things, from small to important ones, until we fall asleep.

Hanbin likes to tell me about his life, things that he doesn't tell anyone but me. He tells me about his dreams, his passion to music and the loneliness he feels at times. In return, I tell him about my childhood, my parents, and my old life in my hometown in Jeju.

Things like this makes me feel closer to him. He lets me to see him through and see the real Hanbin.

"You should rest. We're going to Jeju tomorrow morning." He says that after I yawned before him. It's almost two o'clock and I'm a bit sleepy.

"Um, okay. Goodnight Hanbin."

"Goodnight Jinan-hyung." He's ready to close his eyes but I cut him.

"Hanbin-ah, I've told you many times, don't call me hyung." I pout childishly. I've said this for the umpteenth time but he's still calling me hyung. It makes me feel old - we are at the same grade after all.

"But it's not polite, hyung. You're older than me." He raised his voice, a sign of embarrassment, but he kept his voice low so Jiwon won't be awaken.

"But you don't call Jiwon with hyung."

"It's different, hyung."

"Come on, just this time. I won't make you do it again if you don't like it."

There is a half minute silence before he opens his lips again.

He's tightening his grip slightly on my hand and looking everywhere but me, another signs of embarrassment. "Eum... only this time, okay? Uh... so, Jinan... um, no." He finally had his gut to look directly into my eyes.

"Jinhwan." His sleepy voice is low and husky with a light stress on every syllables of my name.

I like it more that way.

"Good night." And he closes his eyes.

It's the most calming thing in this world, to hear his steady rhythm of breathing when he falls asleep beside me. I lean closer to feel his warmth seep into my skin.

I want to be at his side forever like this.

I want to cease his loneliness that he feels, to comfort him when he's sad and cheer him up.

Because I like Hanbin more than just a friend.

.

"Good morning everyone!" Jiwon said it out loud as he and Hanbin are stepping down the stairs. "Oh, boy, I'm ready for today!" The idea to go to Jeju on this summer break is his idea after all.

"Okay, okay, just eat some breakfast before we go." I'm so busy with the fridge, I don't realize Hanbin is already standing beside me. "You cook by yourself? Where's eomma?"

"Your mom let me take over the kitchen today." I smile as I take the food out of the fridge.

"Yum, yum, Where does this sweet smell come from?" A pair of arms hug my waist and a head rests on my shoulder. "Woah! Cheesecake? I'm hungry now!"

"Yah, Kimbap, don't slow him down!" He tries to separate Jiwon from my back. "Aish, why are you holding him so tight."

"I'm not letting Jinhwan go from my hug, you selfish Hanbin. You think you're the only one who can have him, you're wrong." He sticks his tongue out.

I hold my laughter and threathen them. "The food will fall from my hands and I won't make it again if you guys don't stop." Just like that the madness stops and we can eat our breakfast peacefully.

We use a ferry to go to Jeju. Although it's a little bit more expensive than to take a bus, but it's quicker. The plan is to spend a day in Jeju that is holding a week-long summer festival. Three of us are very excited with different reasons. Jiwon and Hanbin are hype because it's their first time to go to Jeju, and for me, it's because it has been a long time since I visit my hometown, and it's the first time I introduce my friends to my parents.

"Mom, Dad, this is my friends."

"Annyeong, Mr and Mrs Kim. I'm Kim Jiwon. I bring you some flowers." He puts the bouquet down.

"I'm Kim Hanbin." He bows his head a little.

Mom, Dad, this is the person I like.

We clean up a little and we pray. Jiwon is the one who finished first, and when I open my eyes, I see Hanbin is still praying to my parents. I wonder what he's saying to my parents.

The sun is high in the sky and we're getting hungry.

"Do you want to eat at my mom's cafe?" They just nod sadly to my question.

I'm greeted with a middle aged woman when we enter my mom's cafe. "Ah, Jinhwan! Long time no see! How are you, dear?"

"I'm fine, Aunt. I bring my friends today." I add. "Aunt, this is Jiwon and Hanbin. Guys, this is my aunt."

"Nice to meet you, Aunt Kim." They said in unison.

She laughs. "Oh, my, they're so handsome. Which one is your boyfriend?"

"Aunt!" I bet my face is as red as a ripe tomato. "They're just my friends." I take secret glances at Hanbin sheepishly. I hope he doesn't notice. He's busy looking at something.

"Too bad. But I'll treat them this time."

"Thank you, Aunt."

.

The food we ordered has come. I ordered fried rice and two of them ordered two bowls of summer special chicken soup.

"This place is full of your photos, Jinhwanie." Jiwon is the first person to open a conversation.

"Ah, yes, my aunt took over the cafe after..." I gulp. "After my parents' deaths and didn't do any changes to this place." The words still taste bitter on my tongue although it has been along time.

I look at their faces across my seat. Their faces are emotionless. "My mom was my only fan after all. Ha-ha." I try to make a joke but it didn't work. Jiwon has his eyes watery and Hanbin's eyes are staring longingly at my family picture when I was little. He has been quieter since we visited my parents.

"You learned how to cook from your mom, didn't you?" Hanbin finally opens his mouth.

"Ah, yes. Why?" I scoop a spoonful of fried rice as I speak.

"You must be close to you mom." He hung his head low and sigh. "You must be missing her a lot."

Jiwon wipes his eyes. "It's so sad here, hyung. I want to go somewhere else." Is he crying?

I never see them so gloomy like this before. "Okay, just finish this first. I want to watch my favorite movie before we go to the festival."

.

"Oh my God, hyung, you are the worst!" Jiwon from my left takes another sheet of tissue from the box then clean his nose and wipe his tears with the same tissue. "How could you make us watch this after what happened today."

"Eh? Wae?" Did I do something wrong again? "It's only Hearty Paws."

I look at Hanbin on my right. He's even worse than Jiwon. There are lines of tear strain on his face, his eyes are red and puffy and still shedding out tears to his cheeks. His hand is covering his mouth from letting embarrassing voices out. But his face is as stoic as usual. I didn't even realized he was crying because he didn't take any tissue from the box. Talk about his pride. I shove some tissue to his face.

"I held my tears back when I visited your parents this morning and when I saw your pieces of memories with your family at the cafe and. And." He sniffs. "And I have to see this film?" He raises his voice. "I don't even want to go to the festival anymore."

"Yeah..." Hanbin echoed beside me with the same high voice while wiping his tears.

I sigh.

.

To cut this short, I manage to bring them to the festival tonight by dragging them. The festival is held by the beach and crowded with so many people. We're split into two, but luckily we have set the meeting place in case this happen. Jiwon has already forgotten his sadness and lost in the crowd, probably checking out girls or looking for free food to eat. Meanwhile I'm stuck with gloomy Hanbin. His movements are really stiff and I have to drag him with my hand. A sneaky way to hold his hand, I know.

"Jinan-hyung." He said so suddenly when I'm paying for my cotton candy.

"Hmm? Do you want some-"

"No." He cut my sentence. "I just didn't realize you were so lonely without your parents all this time."

"No, you are wrong, Hanbin-ah." I eat my pink cotton candy and let our steps take us to the beach. "At first it's true I was lonely. I couldn't even think I would live happily after they gone. But then I met you and Jiwon, and I don't feel lonely anymore."

He laughs dryly. "Sometimes I have to realize the fact that you are not longer a crying boy I met years ago. You have grown up, hyung." He squeezes my hand lightly. "Sometimes I hate the fact that I no longer have to protect you anymore."

"You silly, of course you can still protect me." If my hands aren't full, I've already smack the back of his head. Sadly, they are.

I stop fully to see his face and smiles. "But it's my turn now to protect you."

.

We arrive at the less crowded part of the beach - our meeting point with Jiwon. It's almost the time for firework show and he's nowhere to be found.

"Hyung?"

"Yes?"

"Can I have some cotton candy?"

"Ani. You said you didn't want it." I bury my face in my cotton candy and eat it, teasing him.

Suddenly the sky explodes with beautiful color from the fireworks. From red to green, from the small ones to the big ones, all of them are contrast to the clear dark night sky of Jeju.

We're standing side by side watching the fireworks, our hands are holding each other. Like a couple usually does in their dates. I try to hide my smile in my cotton candy. But I feel another hand on my cotton candy stick. Suddenly Hanbin's face is only centimeters apart from mine. His eyes are fixated on my candy as he eats it. The blood rushes its way to my face. I hope he can't see my red face in the dark.

I close my eyes and lean deeper into my cotton candy. I can make this as an excuse to accidentally kiss him, right?

Right the moment before I can feel his warm lips on mine, I hear a laugh in front of us. A familiar laugh. Very familiar.

"What do you guys think you're doing? Do you want to kiss in public?"

Both of us stop and look at each other. I can see his face is red to the tips of his ears. I bet he can see mine like that too. We let go our hands from each other.

"I'm sorry, hyung, I didn't mean to kiss you or anything! I just want some of your cotton candy."

"It's a lame excuse, Hanbin. Try another one." I can hear him snickering at us.

"I-I'm o-okay, Hanbin... It's my fault, r-really." I hide my face with my now free hand with embarrassment. Oh God, I never stutter this bad before.

"You see that Hanbin? You make Jinhwan-hyung cry. You're gonna-" He trails off as he sees my I-won't-make-you-food-if-you're-hungry-anymore glare. "Oh, wait, is that fireworks? Woah, it's pretty." He said that and runs away.

I learn something from today.

Next time, I won't bring Jiwon to Jeju.

A/N: Fyi, Hearty Paws is a sad film about dog that can make Jiwon become a sassy diva like Goo Junhoe and make the infamous CEO of YG Entertainment cry. Jk.