I know, I know! It's not exactly a one-shot if it has two chapters, but I want to continue in Niel's POV.

Btw, if you don't know ayego means "cutesy" act. You know, pouting, puppy-eyes. 

[Niel's POV]

It's the second anniversary. The anniversary of when I first found out I had a crush on L. Joe.

I don't know what got me. It could've been his amazingly low voice. Or the way he held his head up in a manly way, even if his hair was pink or in curls. His devilish smile that made him look like a mischievous fox. Everything about him, all 100%.

I tried everything to win his heart. I tried being indifferent. I tried ayego. And after I saw the under his bed I tried acting more like a girl.

It drained me to be something I wasn't, but I have to if I want L. Joe to be mine. 

There was only one thing left for me to try. But is there any use? He's obviously straight. He'll never look at me.

I sighed and looked down at the cookie I had taken from him. I threw it on the floor and stepped on it. 

I looked at the crumbs on the floor and grimaced in disgust. I wiped off the gooey cookie off the bottom of my shoes and looked away from the pitiful pieces.

I closed my eyes and remembered how L. Joe grimaced when I used ayego to get his cookie. Usually he'd ignore me and eat his cookie. He was probably disgusted with me and didn't want to have anything to do with me.

I ignored the cookie and walked away. 

______________________________________

One morning I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring straight at my ears. I immediately rose up and slammed my hand on the right button to stop it from waking L. Joe in the room next door. But he won't ever hear me. He won't ever see me.  

He never will.

It hit me how hopeless I am. He will never love me. He will never even think of seeing me the same way I see him. 

He won't.

Why was I still desperately clinging on to him, on to my dreams? 

I didn't have an answer. I should let go of him...of my dream. There isn't a chance. 

I should stop. 

I will stop.

I dug my face deep into my pillow and pulled my duvet over my head. I curled up into a ball and cried as quietly as I could. 

I cried for what felt like ages and still didn't stop. I heard a knock on my door, and after living with all of the members for years I knew how each of their knocks sounded like. 

L. Joe was at my door. 

I remembered how I'd hurry to him whenever he knocked. How I'd smiled brightly for him, even if I was feeling horrible. 

I felt disgusted with myself. I was pitiful, but that is going to change starting now. 

"Wait a second," I said hoarsely. 

I took my time wiping my tears off onto my pillow. I'll wash it today.

I took my bangs and shoved them into my eyes so that he wouldn't see them red and puffy. 

"You can come in," I said. 

He opened the door a cracked and peered in as if he was afraid of what was in my room. 

"Yeah?" I asked. 

"Um...D-do you want  to..?" he trailed off.

"Yes?" I said impatiently. What was so important that he had to interrupt my pity session?

"W-well, I was wondering if you wanted to...go out on a date with me?" he said quickly. He looked down and blushed.

Too late, I thought, if only he'd asked an hour ago. 

"No."

He looked at me with surprised, but I ignored him. "B-but.." he started, then looked away. I saw the hurt and stricken disbelief in his eyes before he turned away.

He turned away and closed the door behind him. Not saying a word.

Now he knows how I felt for two years.  

I tried angst this time... 

How was it? Good? Bad? Awesome? Horrifying?

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