Road of Trust - daydreamer23

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Title:
Author:
Genre:
Characters:
Status:
Summary:
Adventure, Fantasy
Areum (OC), EXO
On Going/Chapter 8
Areum was born into the world with a great burden. What that burden was? To accompany the twelve great warriors and protect them as the prophesied guardian. And maybe something even more? Join Areum as she plunges herself into a world where she creates bonds on her road of trust.
  
TITLE
10
Very well thought title, it gives the reader a foreshadowing about the storyline. Without even readgin the description, we can deduct that the story will be based on an adventure with a group of characters that will create bonds as time goes on. Nicely Done!
DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD
10
I absolutely enjoyed your description and foreword! Great introduction, it teases just enough to incite us to read your story. I love it when you addressed to your readers “Join Areum [...]” it makes it a lot more vivid, to think that we are tagging along in the adventure with the protagonists.
GRAPHICS
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You do not have a graphic, therefore it will not be evaluated. Do no worry it will not penalize you. Your score will be on 90 instead of a 100 
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
10
The characters are nicely portrayed especially Areum. We can easily feel attached to this character and want to take care of her despite her strong personality. I believe this character has a lot of potential to grow even more! In your stories, it can be challenging to manage that many characters so make the most out of it when one gets to shine. As for the bonds with EXO and Areum great job! It transitions smoothly which makes the story realistic.
APPEARANCE
7
Clear font and easy to read. Although, chapters 3 and 7 have a change of fonts which makes your story less professional, but readers on a mobile device will not see a difference. The chapters 3 and 7 font is painfully small, which can disinterest some readers. The paragraphs has a good length overall.
ORIGINALITY PLOT
10
Very imaginative and creative, the world you created for this story is impeccable. The plot has a solid base and the fact that there’s a “history” behind it gives a lot of credibility to this imaginary world. Personally I find that the prophecy is very appealing and mysterious it makes me want to know more about it’s origin. From the Lupines to the Spirit Diabolos, it’s top notch!
FLOW
9
Generally well done, at times I have found it a bit slow for example the noodle scene in Chapter 4 with Colin, I don’t find it necessary to describe the process of making noodles since most of your readers probably know how it goes. Netherless, the story flows fluidly without any choppy parts.
WRITING
10
Your writing is beautiful when it comes to descriptions. Areum’s transformation description was on point. I could clearly imagine it in my head with no problem. You have a very rich vocabulary which is always a good thing in those kind of stories!
GRAMMAR/SPELLING
9
Your english is good! No major mistakes that distracted me during my reading.
GENERAL ENJOYMENT
10
As you can already notice, I enjoyed it a lot! Especially since I adore fantasy stories. It’s a well-written story what can you not love? I’m expecting a lot with this story and keep on writing like this! (:
EXTRA
You made me fall in love with this new world, it is magnificent. When I was reading, I was completely immersed into it. Only problem is that they are so many new words like names of monsters, spirits, places to learn that it takes some concentration but it’s totally worth it!
85 / 90
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jenggg
#1
Chapter 9: Thank you for the review. I will keep in mind what you have said. Once again, thank you!
daydreamer23 #2
Chapter 6: I have picked up my review, thank you!